THE DARKNESS, BLACK SKULL & THE WARPED
Click.
Static covers the screen as a Play ► symbol appears in the bottom right-hand corner.
Black & White.
I couldn’t be happier.
Could you imagine my surprise when the Skull’s began falling? I’d spent such a long time protecting them, that I couldn’t believe how close I’d come to losing it all.
The Terrors were a last resort, but not a card in my deck that I played lightly.
As I stand in the shadows, in the black and white of our newly presented Noir world – I can’t help but crack a smile beneath my mask.
Could you imagine the possibilities?
“Together, we’re an unstoppable force,” The Darkness proudly and enthusiastically announced. “Sire hath brought us back together.”
He was right – they’d been separated for eons. I won’t bore you with the details on how they came to be or how they came to be broken. All you need to know is that should I require them placed back inside their tombs, they can be.
“What about our brothers?” The Warped enquired with his squirrelly voice.
Ah, their brothers.
Again, could you imagine the possibilities?
You can’t.
You won’t.
“They’ll be coming soon enough,” his brother replied happily. “But for now, we must plan our methods of attack. Our mission is to keep Sigil at bay and for this, we have free reign.”
On any given week the world can change for those who inhabit The Slaughterhouse. It doesn’t matter where they are, they’ll be overtaken by my Terrors.
Not only are they darker, more vile and violent versions of themselves…
But the world as they see it through their darkened eyes will change frequently.
Could you imagine?
Heh.
Soon, you won’t have to.
Cut.
BANZAN vs. CORVUS vs. SIR RENAULT
Banzan is trying to make quick work of this match as he locks in the SAMUDAYA! He has the triangle locked in! Corvus is trying to fight out of it but it looks like he is fading! CHAIR SHOT OUT OF NOWHERE! Renault crushes Banzan’s face and saves the match for him and Corvus!
Corvus can’t rest though as Renault wraps the chair around Corvus’ throat! Renault is pulling on the legs trying to choke him out! Corvus looks like he is about to tap! MAGGA! Banzan recovered and hit the Kinshasa to make Renault let go! SAMUDAYA! Another triangle choke! This time on Renault!
Renault is trying to reverse it but Banzan has it on tight! Renault is struggling and about to tap! Diving knee drop from Corvus to break it up! Banzan and Renault are both down and Corvus grabs the closest opponent! GARROTE! Rear naked choke on Banzan! Banzan is trying to fight out of it but it’s no use! HE TAPS OUT!
What a win for Corvus as he makes a former world champion tap out!
ALBERT SHAW & VOYNICH
After hours of searching, finally I saw him there. The OSW and Double Feature Champion, still and lifeless. Slumped with his back against a wall, his chest rises and falls with each breath.
He was either out cold, or asleep.
No sign around him of any struggle, no emptied bottle of whisky nor any hastily discarded blunt object that he may have been struck with. There is nothing to explain his current state, aside from him simply having fallen asleep.
“Wake up… Shaw!”
I said his name firmly, but drew no response. I’d been searching high and low all evening. By now my tie was strewn half aside, with the top button of my shirt pulled open. A little unkempt, but at my side, my revolver itched to be fired.
“Shaw!”
But as much as I tried to rouse him, Albert Shaw remained in a deep sleep. Standing, I adjusted my tie and straightened my Homburg hat. My mind racing, I pondered aloud.
“This is not good. Not good at all.”
But as deep asleep as Albert Shaw is, without stirring or waking, he mutters a single sentence in his sleep. A sentence to only my ears.
“He’s coming…”
Cut.
VIPER ROBERTS vs. SEESAW
This is one snake whose rattle you don’t want to play with!
Viper uses his weight advantage to overpower SeeSaw, tossing him outside. He drops him on the unforgiving concrete with a Russian leg sweep! Roberts grabs a kendo stick… CRACK! He splits it over SeeSaw’s back! The Head Snake rears back with another swing—KSSSSH! SeeSaw blinds him with a foam fire extinguisher!
Mr. Make Believe sends him reeling with a haymaker. He grabs two trashcan lids, with which he brains Viper – SLAPSTICK CLAPTRAP! A dazed Roberts slithers away, but SeeSaw gives chase… Gore-spinebuster combo – SUPERFINE TURBINE BLAST ONTO THE STEEL STAIRS! SeeSaw rolls Viper back inside. ONE… TWO… TH—KICKOUT! Playtime continues.
Looking to make a splash, SeeSaw heads up top. He flaps his wings… FLIGHT OF THE ORNITHO—SNAKE OIL! Viper spits a viscous fluid into the eyes of The Toybox King. He unfastens his snakeskin belt, TANNIN’ THE HIDE of SeeSaw! He spins him round… ODE TO THE SNAKE DDT! ONE… TWO… TWO-POINT-NINE!
Roberts bends his arm like a cobra; it’s time for the mandible claw! SeeSaw slowly rises… DEATHMAW – DENIED! The clown prince drops onto his back… Throat thrust – SURPRISE, YOU’RE DEAD! He scoops Viper into a torture rack, spinning it round into a cutter – THE BIG WHEEEEL! ONE… TWO… THREE!
SeeSaw discards Viper like another broken toy.
CXDY, SANCTUS BELLATOR, NIGEL ROYAL, & THE IMPALER
“I’m trying, I really am.”
There I was, sitting on my ass in the middle of that damn training gym, talking to myself like some kind of crazy person. I must’ve looked pathetic, huh?
“Being a good person, a better person… it’s hard. I’m supposed to be Perfect, but I can’t be perfect until I set the standard for what perfect is.”
I’d have kept up my pity party, but then I heard a laugh. A smarmy, douchey fucking laugh.
Then another.
It was like hearing two demons giggling, ringing in my ears until I saw those two bastards slip from the shadows towards the ring.
Nigel Royal.
The Impaler.
“Getting religious, are we? I’d think we’d have found you in a church after you were saved by Lux’s mistake.”
Royal smirked at me as he entered the ring, his buddy flanking from behind, sticking me between a rock and a hard place.
“A fool prays to change, doesn’t he? If you come with us, I’ll let you prove your ability to change. With hammer and nail I’ll force you to change.”
God, Impaler really knew how to make Royal look humble by comparison. I’d have charged him then and there… but he had that fucking hammer in hand.
“I told him to screw off, Royal. I didn’t need some kid to save me.”
And I meant that. But my words didn’t mean anything to those two, they simply approached like a pack of wild dogs. I knew my day was about to go from bad to worse… but I almost preferred it to pitying myself.
“Is that so? Well, let’s see about that.”
They rushed me! I ducked Impaler’s hammer and gave him a hell of a haymaker, but Royal clocked me with a clothesline that threw me from the ring! Landed ass first outside the with both of them staring down at me, ready to pounce… but they stopped at the edge, looking behind me.
“Don’t come any closer. If you want to get your hands on him, then you’ll have to face me as well.”
I looked behind me and saw what they did. Sanctus Bellator, back again. But I’d have stopped too if I saw that approaching me. Despite all the black and white, the gold in his mask was still vibrant and gold. Stuck out like a sore thumb.
And though I hated it, when he offered me his hand, I was compelled to take it.
“I knew you’d be back, Sanctus. Your need to save the wretched will never fail to amuse me.”
Impaler leaned on those ropes, smiling that sickening grin of his as Sanctus pulled me away into the shadows.
I hate to admit it, but I was thankful Bellator arrived when he did. I could use a little heaven, because I know for a fact that we’re about to go through some hell.
Cut.
ISRAEL GRIMWOLF vs. TWO-FACE
Even in a world of black and white, not all is as simple as heads or tails…but when you’ve escaped The Locker, you have a knack for getting out of just about anything!
The two immediately go at it, trading lefts and rights to see who will get the advantage…which quickly goes to Two-Face, whose more chaotic nature is starting to peek through with a cheap shot to the throat of the Scourge of the Seven Seas, dropping him down to the canvas.
Two-Face stays on top of the pirate, focusing the attack on the neck as Grimwolf struggles to get to a vertical base, eventually shoving Two-Face off and getting aggressive himself with some hard punches, wearing Two-Face down before hitting a nasty roaring elbow! KEELHAULED BY THE HORROR OF THE DEEP!
Grimwolf takes a moment to stare at the rickety cage trapping him in the ring, but decides he’s not finished with Two-Face by a long shot as he starts stomping away at the midsection, seven times over looking for that curb stomp…BUT TWO-FACE COUNTERS! FLIP THE COIN ON THE CAPTAIN!
Grimwolf looks out of it now as Two-Face heads to the cage wall, still reeling from that elbow earlier by Grimwolf…who’s back on his feet too! Grimwolf lunges at Two-Face, turning him around…ONLY TO TAKE A HEADS OR TAILS! GRIMWOLF IS OUT AS TWO-FACE CLIMBS OUT AND TO THE FLOOR!
After a close battle, Two-Face comes out on top on this strangest of nights!
JESSIE WILLIAMS & TENCHU
My primary directive from the Odowara Clan: Join the organization known as OSW as a combatant and await further instruction. Until further instruction is given I am to obtain knowledge through osmosis and protect myself from threats.
Until now, I have had very few threats.
But a threat looms on the horizon.
As I walk through the hallways of the Slaughterhouse, the sounds of footsteps echo behind me, bouncing off of the walls. I slipped into an open room, hiding behind the door, waiting perfectly still.
And in an instant, my stalker revealed himself. A strange weapon slung over his shoulder, he walked past my hiding spot, mumbling to himself about where I may have gone.
“Why have you been following me?”
I silently closed the door, locking us both inside of the room and standing in front of it. If he wanted to leave, he would have to face me. And by the look of anger of his face, I knew this would result in bloodshed.
“I prefer to call it tracking, but either one works. As for why? Well, we’ll call it research.”
Despite his anger at being caught, the young warrior quickly became cocky, removing the weapon from his shoulder and leveling it at me. I reached for my blade in return.
“You should duck.”
Before I could register his words he fired the weapon upwards into the air, shattering the light source above us, sparks raining down into the darkness. He was resourceful, quick. In a split second he leaped forward with a decisive strike that floored me.
As quick as he was to strike, I was just as quick to get to my feet. However, he disappeared down the hall, fleeing as fast as he could.
My primary directive is to protect myself from threats.
And the best way to deal with some threats… is to preemptively remove them.
Cut.
DARKLORD & BANZAN
With every breath through my mask, I hate this place even more.
On Carthus, I could take a drag off an Onasi Stick and still feel as if I’d drawn full breath. But here, under this forsaken mask, I can barely breathe.
Naturally, the place I’d been brought to had purer oxygen than the dreck down in the city. Up here, I can barely keep my fedora on my head.
“Do you see it? Feel it?” The small man says.
A mountain he calls himself. This earthling must seek to insult me, one who had stood atop the highest peak of the Bastilus range, the blood of my enemies dripping from my fingertips.
“I feel nothing.” I replied, scoffing at the monochromatic landscape before me. “All I see are empty fields and rocks.”
No response forthcoming, I reach into my trench coat pocket. Finally, he speaks.
“Exactly.”
Banzan lights up a smoke, reaching to offer me one. But he stops once he remembers the mask on my face.
I didn’t want his putrid plant vapors, anyway.
“This place used be to something special, big man.” Banzan says, taking a drag off his stogie. “I lived here for many years. But it’s gone now, and it ain’t ever coming back.”
That’s his play, eh?
“Don’t play games with me, monk.” I cut in. “My life is not yours. I’m going back home once I figure out how.”
Banzan just nods.
That son of a jackrabbit.
“I don’t think so.” He infuriatingly replies, blowing the smoke towards me. “We’re the same. Two tough old bastards that can’t go back home. The difference between us is that I embrace it. You just live in a fantasy.”
What an idiot. Does he know who I am?
I am a God King. I’ve conquered all who have come against me.
Yet…
“Alright, kid.” I respond. “I heard your offering. Now you hear mine.”
He raises an eyebrow as smoke flies up to the heavens.
Cut.
THE SANDMAN & MORDECAI vs. VOYNICH & SIGIL
It’s a classic Strange Bedfellows tag team matchup here tonight as Dream and Nightmare combine to take on the former Collectors Edition but can either team coexist long enough to score a victory?
The bell sounds as Mordecai and Voynich start off for their respective teams. Voynich swinging for the fences against his much bigger opponent but the Gatekeeper easily tanks the blows before delivering a huge uppercut that sends Voynich crashing to the canvas. Mordecai drills him with a stiff kick to the jaw as he rises before stalking behind the slowly rising Voynich.
SWEET DREAMS! Mordecai swings Voynich around in that Cobra Clutch but the former world champ refuses to tap out despite being thrown around like he’s in the middle of a hurricane. Mordecai throws Voynich upwards, letting go at the last second. REALITY…HAMMERSTONE! Voynich gets that Superman Punch out of nowhere as he slowly crawls over to his corner.
JUST TAGGING IN SIGIL! The Collector runs in like a house on fire, drilling the rising Mordecai with lefts and rights before rolling back. PLANESWALKER! He hits it out of nowhere but Mordecai flies right into his own corner and Sandman tags himself in.
Sigil rushes forward right into a massive right hand that leaves him for a loop before he’s lifted up high by the throat. TO SAND! That should be it as Sandman covers, ONE…TWO…VOYNICH FOR THE SAVE! Voynich pounds down on Sandman not noticing Sigil has vanished into a portal, delivering a snap uppercut to Sandman before rushing to the ropes. ISHTAR’S GATE! Sandman’s wobbly on his feet but doesn’t go down as Voynich rushes to the ropes for another.
As Voynich bounces off, Sigil reappears bouncing off the other side. COLLECTION…SANDMAN DUCKS! Sigil wipes Voynich out with the Planeswalker, turning back around into a pair of hands around his throat. FULL FORCE TO SAND! That has to be it as Sandman hooks both legs for the ONE…TWO…THREE!!!
Two bitter dimensional enemies take the victory over the former tag team here tonight as Sandman takes advantage of a single mistake to put down the Collector’s Edition.
DEATHNOTE AND CORVUS
It was a dark and stormy night, like they all have been lately. Rain so heavy, it felt like every angel was weeping. If we had any angels left.
It didn’t take me long to track the people I was wanting to track. After Deathnote lead some people to their deaths last week, I knew I needed to make quick work of getting to his core.
After what happened, I put several Fingers on the pulse of this city. I needed information, and I needed it fast. They went out, and one came back with exactly what I needed.
You can’t be a God in this world if you don’t have followers to worship you. Whether he knew it or not, several people started to buy into the snake oil he was selling. A cult that worshipped him was forming, and growing. They took to him like white on rice, worshipped his every word. Many sacrificed themselves to this Shinigami.
Things were getting out of hand when I saw a little girl being brought to an altar. She was being guided by this old, frail woman. Looked like Death had already claimed her, but nobody gave her the notice.
They bowed at this altar, and the old woman walked up onto it, laying herself down. The young girl, to show her devotion to Deathnote, raised a blade over the old woman.
Suddenly, the door opened up to this evil church. A younger man, older than the girl but decades younger than the old woman, ran in. He ran to the girl, grabbing the blade and looked at the church.
“WHY?! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?! HE IS NOT A GOD!”
The bravery of this man was almost inspiring, if he wasn’t so clearly out of his mind himself. Out of the back of the Altar walked Deathnote. He looked up to the roof top, knowing I was watching this macabre display. Watching to know more about my enemy, and what he would be willing to do.
Deathnote leaned into the older man, began whispering in his ear. If any angels still existed, they were far from this place. The man took this young girl, and turned to the audience of onlookers.
Blood spurts from his throat and onto the young girl. Yet another death done as a show for me, more than the people of this cult.
“Each move brings us all closer to death. We need not fear it, because it is a blessing. With this notebook, I can spare you all the mystery and terror that the unknown has. All you need do is ask, and Death shall be shown to you.”
I slink back, as he looks back up to me. He knew this was my move, and he quickly made his next.
Cut
KAINE KNIGHTLORD vs. JESSIE WILLIAMS vs. CXDY vs. DEATHNOTE ©
A fatal four-way for the Rewind Championship pits Kaine Knightlord, CXDY, Jessie Williams, and Deathnote against one another!
The bell rings, and immediately CXDY storms across the ring and drops Williams with a lariat! Deathnote and Knightlord meanwhile lock up in the center of the ring, and Knightlord takes the upper hand with a side headlock! Knightlord backs up and bounces off the ropes, shoving Deathnote away! The Rewind champion is DROPPED by a MOONSAULT DROPKICK from CXDY!
CXDY, back up to his feet, moves towards Knightlord, but he’s grabbed by the VAMPIRE! JUST A BITE!!! CXDY BLEEDS FROM HIS FOREHEAD!!! The vampire chuckles, but is dropped with a knee block from Williams! The bleeding CXDY finishes the job with a YAKUZA KICK to the vampire’s head!
CXDY and Jessie begin trading lefts and rights in the center of the ring! LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT, RIGHT!!! BUT DEATHNOTE IS BEHIND CXDY!!! HE SCOOPS HIM UP!!! DYING WISH!!! THE BURNING HAMMER DROPS CXDY RIGHT ON HIS FUCKING NECK!!! Deathnote is back up to his feet! BOOMSTICK TO THE CHAMP FROM JESSIE WILLIAMS!!!
Jessie Williams makes the cover!!! ONE… TWO… BROKEN UP BY KAINE KNIGHTLORD!!! And immediately, Knightlord scoops up the prodigal son! BUT JESSIE WITH AN EYERAKE!!! Knightlord hisses and grabs at his eyes! BIG IN JAPAN!!! OUT OF NOWHERE TO THE VAMPIRE BY CXDY!!! NO!!! KNIGHLORD DUCKS IT!!! BOOYAH TO CXDY BY JESSIE WILLIAMS!!! BUT KNIGHTLORD GRABS HIM FROM BEHIND!!! NIGHT RAID!!! NIGHT RAID!!! KNIGHTLORD MAKES THE COVER!!! BUT DEATHNOTE!!! THE CHAMPION PULLS THE VAMPIRE UP, AND DROPS HIM WITH TURN THE PAGE!!! HE MAKES THE COVER!!! ONE… TWO… THREEEEEEEEEE!!!
Deathnote retains his title in impression fashion against three formidable opponents tonight!
THE SANDMAN, ALBERT SHAW & VOYNICH
”Wake Up!”
The words seem to echo about the void, nothingness. I could feel nothing, see nothing.
Then, without warning I felt a rush as I was transported by some unknown force, dropped like a dead fly from the flyswat into an alleyway. Yet, still I felt nothing. Something wasn’t right, and fear began to grip me, constricting my heart like a vice. Industrial buildings with hand-written signs, lights that jut out along an alleyway like foreboding lamps leading to nowhere. A 1940’s setting that somehow sends a chill down the spine.
Even more so as, in the distance, the lights begin to go out. One by one, getting closer and closer. I stood, shielding his face to the light, knowing one thing. I heard my voice utter the words, even before I had thought them. Perhaps it was the fear, or perhaps my subconscious knew what the rest of my brain was catching up with.
“He’s coming…”
And surely, moments later but a single light remains, right above head.my head. The Sandman appeared without so much of a warning.
The foul beast opened his mouth and a torrent of sand erupted from his orifice, straight at me. I screamed at my body to move but I was frozen, unable to protect myself. Sand hit me in the face, stinging my eyes, the force driving me back into the ground.
There, the sand that spews from the monster’s mouth begins to bury me alive. Are these my final moments? My brain ran into overdrive. Only when me head head was the only part of my body left above the sand, does the torrent stop and Sandman’s voice sound.
“Buried beneath your own success. Twice the gold placing twice the target on your back.”
I watched the monster bring his hands together, and as he did so, the sand moved. Bloody forming into a large concrete block that encapsulates my feet before my own eyes. Then, with a wave of the beast’s arm, I was flung into the air. Here, the world around me morphed and changes until I was standing on a bridge high above a raging torrent of a river. And yet, I could still hear his sickening voice leering at me.
“Weighing you down.”
Sandman grabbed me around the throat before I could react and tossed offme the edge of the bridge. Tumbling down, down, down into the raging waters, I gasped for breath but could only take in water. With the concrete boots, I sank like… well, a stone. The last thing that filled my mind before I went under was his sickening laughter.
“Albert Shaw, sought the world, now he sleeps with the fishes.”
…
Elsewhere
I thought I’d give it one last crack and try one last time to rouse Shaw. Albert’s eyes burst open, wide with fear.
“Drowning!”
It takes a moment for him to take in his surroundings and work out his dreamstate, then he eyeballed me. No thanks for saving his life, but mere hatred from within his soul. The eyes of somebody looking at a prick that tried to murder you.
“What in the Sam Hell are you doing here? Come to finish off the job, have you mate?”
I shook my head, taking off my homburg hat and running a hand through slicked hair. Protesting would do me no good, for I knew that look all too well. He was spoiling for a fight.
“Some damned thanks I get for bringing you back you back you ungrateful bastard.”
Cut.
MORDECAI
Recorded earlier.
I thought this chump was something different, but he was just like the rest. Shacked up with another chump and the token broad, he was just in it for the money and the glory.
The rain hit the worn pavement hard the day I searched for him at his film trailer, but I shoulda known he’d have been anywhere else but there.
No doubt about it, the chump was smart. But not as smart as me.
The sky was filled with dark clouds, but the clouds did not block my mind.
He thought he’d pulled the wool over my eyes, but the wolf in sheep’s clothing was him all along.
He musta known he didn’t fit in, but he did it anyway. And what was in it for him that he couldn’t got with a life on the silver screen? A scotch on the rocks with his new bionic bud? A night of heat between the sheets with the fiery femme fatale?
No, I knew right then and there that there was a mystery afoot. But there were no damsels in distress this time, unless he was gonna change his name to Lucy and have some nip and tuck action.
The rain continued to pour as I left the deserted film set. The moon high in the sky cast a dark shadow behind me as I left. If I couldn’t find him here, and I couldn’t find him in dreams, there was only one place to look.
The Slaughterhouse.
Cut.
ZERO © vs. CAEL GABLE vs. SIMON
Zero has been immovable as the VHS Champion since he claimed it at Wrestle Heroes in January. Can The Olympian Cael Gable strike gold again, or will The Taskmaster crack the puzzle nobody has been able to solve yet?
Gable runs at Zero, fueled by Pirate Gold’s recent rivalry with BMF, and unloads a flurry of shots. As The Olympian and The Hacker trade blows, Simon stands back strategizing. Zero with a FIREWALL bionic clothesline to drop Gable. The Taskmaster senses his opening and CHOP BLOCKS the champion. Immediately he’s looking for CHECKMATE…
…But Gable from behind…GERMAN SUPLEX to Simon!!! And TEN more!!! 10 KARAT!!!! Gable gets up and slams a fist against his chest, pumped like a gearhead of ‘phet. But Zero has him scoped…burning hammer….CPU DRIVER!!! Zero set for a retention here with the ONE….TWO….Simon breaks the fall!!!
Zero is on his feet but Simon chops him to the back of the head and lands a SIMONPLEX!!! Bridged for ONE….TWO….THRE-KICKOUT!!! Zero and Simon rise together, trading blows but Gable in behind Zero…SILENCE IS GOLDEN!!! The Olympian is choking out the champion who is fading fast!!! GAMBIT!!! The spinning backfist from The Taskmaster kills two birds with one stone.
Simon targets the VHS Champion, he wants to finish this by taking out Zero. CHECKMA-EYE POKE!!! AND THE PUNK CITY KILLER FLOORS THE TASKMASTER!!! ONE! TWO! THREEEEE!!!!
Zero’s incredible hold on the VHS Championship continues.
ISRAEL GRIMWOLF, CAEL GABLE, SEESAW & VIPER ROBERTS
Flashforward.
As soon as I was done with my match, Grimwolf whisked me away on what sounded like another journey he had in mind.
To my shock, the black and white of the world inside the Slaughterhouse has followed us outside…but perhaps more shocking is a plan from Grimwolf so wild, so out of the blue that I needed him to run that by me again.
“Let me get this straight, because lord knows you ramble a little sometimes…we’re heading to the Locker now to find your old crewmates…and you want us to miss Invasion for this!?”
Grimwolf reluctantly nods his head at me with a slight shrug. Something tells me I’m not gonna like his reasoning.
“Aye, me gut is telling me this is our only chance to find ’em…and the voyage can take several weeks, matey.”
Oh, that’s…that’s not good at all, Captain. This could be a wild goose chase, for all we know.
“And you’re still assuming the map Sigil gave you is real.”
Israel shakes his head with a heavy sigh. I can tell he’s not quite getting it, so what he tells me next isn’t a surprise at all.
“It’s not about trusting that scallywag, lad…it’s about trusting me heart.”
That’s a dangerous move, trusting your heart. I’ve heard people utter those words with their final breath. We finally arrive at the Captain’s ship…and we’re greeted with screams from aboard the ship.
What the hell is going on? I see a skipper crawling out to the deck…only to be dragged back below. I recognize that arm, and that cackle, immediately.
“Dear lord, it’s SeeSaw.”
I have no idea what’s happening, but the screams are interwoven with…jazz music? What kind of sick, twisted mind sets this kind of violence to a soundtrack?
Who am I kidding, this is SeeSaw we’re talking about.
I give the Captain a nod and we start to rush toward the ship when a coarse, stern voice stops us.
“No good will come of trying to be heroes.”
I turn around to figure out who’s trying to stop us, and see Viper Roberts catching up. What the hell is he doing here?
“There’s no hope for the men aboard that ship, I’ve seen that damn clown plotting something darker in store for you two if you try to save your friends. We need to go, right now…trust me.”
Wow, the absolute nerve of this guy. I’ve seen what he does to the people who trust him…but as I look back at the ship and see bodies starting to pile up on the deck, I realize there’s not much we can do now.
Much as I hate it, we have to abandon ship. Grimwolf stares at the ship, his heart broken over the sight of more of his crew perishing…and reluctantly nods in agreement before we hightail it out of there.
The last thing we hear is more cackling from the Cackling Madcap himself, the jazz slowly fading out the further we get away from that massacre.
Cut.
SIMON, TWO-FACE & ZERO
“Rather proud indeed.” His other voice comes out this time, gravelly and enraged like any man who has more scars and burns than skin on his face should be. I should have expected that, I asked him to tap into it anyway.
Ah, there he is. The Zero I expected would always be a lone cat but has found more than just one person to put up with him. He should be alone. The only good thing about him is what isn’t human.
“You think he’s ready for it?” Two-Face says softly but excitedly.
I’ve never seen him this excited.
I can’t blame him though, I’m excited myself as I see Zero getting closer to his ride. Metal finally meshes with metal as he opens the door.
“What The Fuck?” There’s the reaction we wanted as serpents slithered out of his car. I didn’t expect Two-Face to get so many snakes but he learned how to put on his show from his time under the bright lights of the political world.
“Do you think he’ll realize what isn’t in there Simon?
He couldn’t because I didn’t even realize what was missing.
Two-Face with the smuggest of grins pulled out Zero’s tag belt. He chuckled and simply said.
“We’re bound to get noticed now.”
I was the only one more sure of that than he was. However, now that I got their attention, I don’t know if I wanted it.
Cut.
LUKE STORM vs. ALBERT SHAW ©
Luke Storm turned Hollywood and broke the hearts of many a wrestling fan at Up In Smoke but Albie Shaw looks to break more then Storm’s heart here tonight. Can Shaw get revenge against BMF or will Luke Storm make more gold badass as a mother fucker?
The bell sounds as Luke Storm smiles that cocky ass grin, soaking in the wrath from the crowd like it gives him strength as he parades around the ring completely confident in his ability to win here tonight. All the while Shaw just stares daggers at Hollywood, waiting for the right moment to strike as Storm finally turns around into Albie’s direction
GBH! GRIEVOUS BODILY GODDAMN HARD! Storm got absolutely annihilated by that Claymore Kick and his only salvation is that he got booted so goddamn hard he was sent flying through the middle rope to the floor below.
Storm looks damn well knocked out cold on the floor though and all Albie Shaw has to do is roll his ass in the ring and he’s retained his championship here tonight. But Storm’s dead damn weight and even the stronger Shaw has troubles getting him back in the ring. He finally does though, dropping down for the cover
ONE
……..
……….
TWO
………..
……….
…..NO!
Shaw took too long to cover and gave Hollywood just that little bit of time to recover. Shaw just shrugs, not even getting up from the cover as he simply starts pounding down on Storm in a mounted position. Hollywood tries to cover up but his brain’s still scrambled from that massive Claymore, Shaw getting a few solid shots in before a massive Haymaker once again breaks a pair of $500 sunglasses.
The threat of glass in his eyes wakes Storm up who slips out of the mount, struggling to his feet but barely gets on a level base before a huge right hand stuns him once more. Shaw pulls that leather vest over Storm’s head, blinding him as he drills him with uppercut after uppercut, Storm getting absolutely blitzed by Shaw’s power here before he begins poking Storm in the eyes with each finger.
He can only get the thumbs thou before Storm pushes him away, feigning complete blindness before lashing forward
KICKING THE GUV’NOR IN THE DICK!
Shaw goes down hard as Storm “miraculously” can see again, smiling that asshole mile wide grin before he peels Shaw up off the mat and whips him into the ropes. Albie rebounds before Storm grabs him around the head
THROWING HIM GROIN FIRST INTO THE MIDDLE ROPES!
Shaw collapses to the mat but not before his right leg gets wrapped around the ropes, hanging him in mid-air. Storm looks on in surprise at his good luck before he rushes forward, leaping up high
AND LANDING HIS ENTIRE 190+ POUNDS ON SHAW’S EXPOSED LEG!
The Guv’nor screams in pain as Storm may well have broken something there but Storm doesn’t care, kicking at the exposed leg over and over until Albie somehow manages to disentangle himself and collapse to the canvas.
Storm continues to kick the bad leg on the mat before wrapping the limp up and driving it to the mat, causing Shaw to scream out in pain. Shaw tries to kick Storm away with his good leg but Hollywood just falls back with all his bodyweight onto the bum leg once more, taking all the fight out of Shaw. Storm still has that shit-eating grin on his face as he turns Shaw around
BEFORE LOCKING IN A SINGLE LEG CRAB!
Shaw screams out in pain, Storm tearing at the tendons and muscles with that debilitating hold, wrenching back with all his might as the champion tries his best to crawl to the ropes and his only salvation. Hollywood cranks back, not even caring as he slowly crawls forwards, simply trying to damage Shaw as much as possible before the Guv’nor leaps forward, grabbing hold of the middle rope and forcing the break.
Storm keeps the hold applied, cranking back all he can to further damage the limb as the referee begins to count him down
ONE….TWO…THREE…FOUR…F..Storm breaks the hold at the last second, chuckling at the referee’s admonishing before flipping him the bird. Shaw’s badly damaged here as Storm rolls to the outside, grabbing Shaw from the outside before pulling him into the corner
AND LOCKING IN THE FIGURE FOUR AROUND THE RINGPOST!
Shaw screams in pain as Storm is trying to break his fucking leg here, Hollywood cranking back as hard as he can, breaking the hold once again at 4.999 but he might have just secured his victory here with the champion being a one legged man right about now.
Storm rolls back into the ring, squatting down as he waits for Shaw to slowly pull himself up, the Guv’nor rises to his knees but can barely support himself on his right leg. Storm leans forward, offering up his cheek for a free shot.
WILD HAYMAKER…MISSES! Storm moved out of the way at that last minute, causing Shaw to eat shit on the mat. Shaw slowly rises up to one knee as Storm rolls back
LIGHTNING STRIKE! Storm just drills Shaw with that massive Superkick but he doesn’t both covering, heading up to the top rope as he balances up top, waiting for Shaw to stumble to his feet. Albie slowly rises up, still barely able to hold his weight on his bum leg as he turns
INTO THE BLOCKBUSTER! Shaw slams hard into the mat as Storm drops down for the lackluster cover
ONE
…….
………
TWO
……….
………..
……..
TH…KICK OUT!
Shaw just gets the shoulder up but it doesn’t worry Hollywood.
Storm gets to his feet, reaching into his tights as he pulls out a spare set of $500 sunglasses before putting them on and signalling for the end. Shaw slowly gets up once more right into a kick to the gut
GALE FO…NO! Shaw pushes out, spinning Storm around before nearly decapitating him with a massive Lariat. Storm stumbles up to his feet right into a flurry of lefts and rights before sending Storm into the ropes. Hollywood rebounds off
SPINE ON THE PINE! Massive Spinebuster nearly puts Storm through the mat but that leg is still bothering Shaw as he can’t capitalise. Shaw pulls Storm up to his feet
RAKE OF THE EYES! Shaw staggers back as Storm rushes forward but The Guv’nor sidesteps Storm, sending him into the turnbuckles face first. Hollywood staggers back out into a kick to the gut
POWERBOMB! Shaw drives Hollywood nearly through the mat as Albie collapses upon Storm for the pinfall
ONE
……
…….
TWO
……..
………..
TH…STORM ROLLS THE SHOULDER!
Shaw gets to his feet, adrenaline flowing through him as he pulls Storm up to his feet but Hollywood kicks out to the bad leg, dropping the Guv’nor to a kneeling position before rolling back
LIGHTNING STRIKE…SHAW DUCKS UNDER AS STORM NAILS THE REFEREE!!
Shaw gets to his feet as he grabs Storm from behind
ANOTHER KICK TO THE DICK!
Hollywood weasels his way out of trouble once again as he realises the situation he’s in and an idea comes through his head. He rolls out of the ring and heads towards the timekeeper, grabbing the Double Feature Championship before rolling back into the ring.
Storm holds aloft Shaw’s championship high with sickening intentions, running forward as the Guv’nor slowly rises to his feet
CHAMPIONSHIP GOLD TO THE DOME! Storm levels Shaw with that massive shot with the gold, dimming his lights completely with his own belt. Hollywood disposes of the evidence, throwing it to the outside before pulling the barely conscious Guv’nor up to his feet
GALE FORCE! STUNNER! Shaw is out cold as Hollywood rouses the referee before hooking the leg for the cover
ONE
……..
………..
TWO
………
……….
NOT LIKE THIS
………..
………..
THREE….
…………
THREE!!! WE HAVE A NEW DOUBLE FEATURE CHAMPION!
Hollywood takes his first victim here tonight as he lied, cheated and stole his way to a championship victory over the Guv’nor but by the look on the new Luke Storm’s face, he wouldn’t have it any other way.
KAINE KNIGHTLORD, SEESAW & SIGIL
Flashforward.
Well, this little game was fun while it lasted…but it seems that despite what I’ve done to his precious crew, the Captain and his little deck swabbing friend aren’t coming to play.
That’s disappointing…but all is not lost. I look out into the darkness, catching just a glint of someone hiding in the shadows, watching, studying what I’ve done here…and the time for study has come to an end.
It’s time to play.
“I see you, batboy.”
That did the trick. Here comes the booooy…Mr. Dark Defective himself, Kaine Knightlord, gracing me with his presence as he steps on board. There he is, staring me down…hello, boy.
“And to what do I owe the pleasure? You like what ya see?”
Kaine takes a moment to look around at the broken, bloodied bodies all around him, and I can tell that something’s getting to him about it as he finally replies.
“These people…I’ve been tracking them to understand what Grimwolf’s big plan was supposed to be, and you slaughtered them. Why?”
What a silly, silly question Batbrain.
“Who knows why madmen do what they do?”
Let’s have some fun.
I lunge at ol’ Nightcream, which results in a fun bit of horseplay…of which I assure you, I was winning…when suddenly I see a bright light shining from above.
A portal. Lovely.
I have a feeling I know who’s done this, as Shadow Boy and I find ourselves sent away from one disaster area to another.
The Toy Box. My home.
I don’t know if Kaine is terrified by what he sees, but I promise you…he absolutely should be.
No one who’s been in here with me has survived a playdate.
I think this little black and white affair is a first, though.
As Kaineypoo looks around to assess his surroundings, I decide to check the nearby window just to make sure…yep, he is here.
Sigil, rubbing his hands with glee.
Welcome.
You’re not the only one pleased by this, buddy.
I turn my attention back to my next plaything, and I can hear big band music blaring in the background.
Perfect.
“One, two, SeeSaw’s coming for you…”
Cut