FOR THOSE ABOUT TO SLAM!
SINK OR SWIM
A WEIRD MOTHERCLUCKER SPOTTED CLUCKIN' ABOUT
Something weird is afoot.
I’m Roughkut reportin’ from the parking garage here at the temple and there’s been some weird goings on. Members of staff have been reporting eggs.
Eggs found on their cars. Eggs found in their exhaust. Eggs on the road. Eggs on the pavement.
So, I’ve come down here to find out what the cluck is going on and what do I find? Some yella bastard chicken hiding behind a pilar giving me the googly eyes.
Next thing I know, he’s runnin’ away like a fuckin’ chicken shit.
I gave chase, as you do, but slipped on one of those bastard eggs. Turns out, they really are everywhere. I don’t know what’s going on or who this mother cluckin’ chicken idiot is, but when I find him, I’m making myself a nice bargain bucket of MFC.
Finger suckin’ good MFC.
Roughkut, covered in egg juice, reporting live from the Parking Garage of the Temple whereby some fuckin’ moron in a Chicken Suit is having an eggstravagant time at our eggspense.
CAN ZIGGY SURVIVE THE GAME?
OR WILL NEWTON TAKE HIS PLACE?
This week on Slam, at the executive order of Marvolo, Ziggy Robbins must step into a steel cage with Dr. Cube – one on one.
But when made aware that Ziggy might, you know, drown before then… he came up with another idea.
If Ziggy can’t find a way out of his predicament, Edward Newton will instead step inside the cage against the OSW World Champion whose title he stole at Wrestle Heroes.
Could this give incentive to Newton to give Cube back his title, or better yet, make the save? To sweeten the deal, Marvolo, who pretended it was his plan all along has said that IF Ziggy makes it back to OSW next week, Edward Newton can be the special guest referee.
THE EXCITING DEBUT OF TWO NEW AMAZING LUCHADORS
Under the blazing arena lights, anticipation crackles as two unknown forces prepare to collide for the very first time. On one side stands The Jurassic Colossus, a towering reptilian nightmare whose presence alone sends tremors through the crowd. Each step shakes the canvas, each roar echoing with prehistoric fury. Across the ring waits The Crimson Eclipse, cloaked in shadow and mystery, his crimson mask glowing beneath the lights like a rising blood moon. Agile, composed, and eerily calm, he stares straight through his monstrous opponent.
This is more than a debut. This is a clash of styles, eras, and philosophies. Power versus precision. Savage instinct versus disciplined destruction.
The Jurassic Colossus boasts raw strength capable of shattering bones, but the Crimson Eclipse is rumored to possess speed that defies physics and a mind built for warfare. One thrives on overwhelming force; the other thrives on dismantling opponents piece by piece.
The crowd buzzes with speculation. Can the Eclipse evade the crushing grasp of the Colossus? Can the Colossus withstand the relentless strikes and aerial assaults of the masked warrior?
At Slam, legends are not honored. They are born. When the bell rings, the wrestling world will witness the dawn of two destinies—and only one will emerge from the darkness victorious.
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