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FELIX FOLEY
TECHNICAL WRESTLER

Name

Felix Foley

Arcadia Designation

The Puppetmaster

Height

6'1

Weight

261lbs

Catchphrase

“Welcome one and all to the Foley Funhouse.

Entrance Song

Foley's Funhouse Theme by The Funhouse Band

Other Aliases

Friendly

BIOGRAPHY
WHO ARE THEY?

In Arcadia, for many years, there was only one way for Children to be entertained safely and appropriately – Foley’s Funhouse.

It was here that children from across Arcadia would spend hours watching Felix’ special puppet shows and entertainment – until one day, Zeus ordered production to stop and cut funding.

Foley’s Funhouse was over. Instead, Zeus opened the Olympus Floor, which contained Sparta – an arena for Old School Wrestling. Now, children flock there instead.

Foley refuses to stop nurturing the future of Arcadia and has joined Old School Wrestling to reach the youth, anyway he can.

ENTRANCE
HIT MY MUSIC!

FELIX-FOLEY

“Felix Foley’s Funhouse Theme” by The Funhouse Band – who’re live on the miniature entrance ramp stage, gets a tremendous ovation from the sold out crowd.

Green flashing lights adorn the entrance as Felix Foley comes bounding out from the entrance way, stopping to conduct his band with a large smile on his face. He nods in agreement with the music before slapping hands with all fans nearby.

With that only making him smile more, he theatrically stomps up the steps to the ring and rolls inside, ready to give Lambs to the Slaughter his best shot.

FOLEY’s
MOVE SET

THE PUPPETSHOW
THE MANDIBLE CLAW

cut the strings
DOUBLE ARM DDT

FELIX FOLEY’S CORNER
CORNER STOMPS, WALKING EM DRY.

FOLEY’S FUNHOUSE
TREE OF WOE WITH A RUNNING DROPKICK TO THE FACE

THESE BOOTS WERE MADE FOR BOOTIN’
RUNNING BIG BOOT

BUMPED HIS HEAD
DEATH VALLEY DRIVER

THE FALL GUY
FALL AWAY SLAM

MASTER OF PUPPETS
DOUBLE HANDED CHOKESLAM

ATTRIBUTES
TECHNICAL WRESTLER

SPEED 0
POWER 0
AGILITY 0
RESILIENCE 0
TECHNICAL 0
HIGH FLYING 0
BRAWLING 0
TRICKSTER 0

RECORD
WINS, LOSSES AND DRAWS

ACHIEVEMENTS
– VHS CHAMPION (X1)

ON THE MIC!
THE BOTTOM LINE!

  • [A large brown couch faces against a long wall. I’m led on it with my eyes closed. A woman, Karen, sits opposite with a large clipboard and a pen. She pushes up her glasses and takes a deep breath.] [Karen Manning]

  • [Felix Foley] Welcome.. to NXT Level.. is Foley! [Felix Foley] Next week, the Ayatolla of Rock n’ Rolla heads into the boiler room, searching for some jackass called Victor Broom. I shouldn’t be surprised, should I? If I was searching for

  • [A news paper in hand, I’m reading the advertisements.] [Felix Foley] “Ah ha!” [I almost jump for joy.] “I’ve found it!” [Doom folds his arms.] [DOOM] “Do you really think this is necessary?” [He complains. He’s always complaining, isn’t he?] “We may have

  • [At moms.] [Rustling around the loft, looking high and low. It’s here somewhere, I know it.] [Felix Foley] “Where are you, you little bugger…” [Mommy Foley] “I think your dad threw him out, Felix.” [No way. I don’t think he did.] [Felix Foley] “I never

  • [Felix Foley] “Fathers are tough.” [Felix Foley] “I know how it feels, Tombstone. You probably ferried my old man some time ago – I wonder what he said about me?” [Felix Foley] “I wonder if he showed remorse for the vicious beatings

  • [The door is locked.] “C’mon..” [I’m panicked.] “C’mon!!” [The handle rattles but won’t open.] [Quickly, turn around.] [Swipe.] [I barely duck it. The swing of a baseball bat at my head misses and connects with the door, splintering the wood.] “Oh, come on son. Batter up!” [Run.] [There

  • [In the middle of the woods, Felix Foley sits under a large tree with a massive bag on the ground.] [Felix Foley] There was a long kept tradition in my family. My grandfather used to take my father hunting. They’d trek

  • [Felix Foley stands in a supermarket, wearing a green apron and a name badge that says HI, I’M FELIX.] [It’s a memory.] “I had a few jobs before I found my calling.” “They didn’t always work out so well, ya know? When I

  • [Court.] [Felix Foley sits in the jury section of Court, alongside twelve other people… who’re all Felix Foley, superimposed in various male and female costumes.] [Doom sits on the bench as Judge, a gavel in his hand.] [The prosecutor steps forward.] [Guess who it

  • [Echoes] [My mom, terrified.] “He fell down the stairs and bumped his head. He won’t wake up. Please Doctor, please save him.” [Beep. Beep. Beep.] [Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.] [Clear.] [Clear.] [Beep. Beep. Beep.] “Your son is alive, but we’ve placed him in a coma to recover from his severe head

  • “My life has been one ginormous Pandora’s Box.” “I feel like it was opened at birth.” [A baby Felix screams and cries.] “My pop always said I was born with a disease. The Doctors didn’t find anything, but he called it kindness.” [Felix is

  • [Many Years Ago.] [He wasn’t always a bad man.] [There was a time when I remember him sitting up in my bed with me, my head on his chest, stroking my hair.] “Ring-a-ring-a-rosies, a pocket full of posies. A tissue, a tissue, we

  • [Many Years Ago.] [Weeping] [I did a lot of that.] [Sat on the edge of my bed with an ice pack held against my forearm. My mom sits with me, her head lowered. She weeps too.] “I don’t know what to do.” [Mom says

  • [Click.] [A VHS tape whirs.] [Play.] [Many Years Ago.] [Children cheer enthusiastically.] [They all sit on a colorful mat of the alphabet, clapping their hands together as Felix stands on the stage.] “Welcome one and all to Felix Foley’s funhouse!” [The kids cheer.] “On the next few episodes

  • [Static.] [Images flash on a screen.] [Sat in the playground at school.] [A bloody nose. Boy, did that hurt.] “You can’t beat me Foley. I’m bigger, stronger and faster than you. No wonder you show up every day with all those bruises if you

  • [Hide. Come on, hide.] Just choose somewhere. [Quickly. Come on

  • Forty Years Ago. Age: 12. “Felix, I’m gonna have to call your father.” [The Principle said with his hands clasped and elbows on the table.] “He’s going to want to know what happened to you today and your mom isn’t at home. We’ve sent

  • Felix Foley: My daddy wasn’t a nice man. Felix Foley: He was angry and in pain. It was constant. Nothing ever made him happy – not even hurting me. Felix Foley: And boy, did he used to hurt me a lot. Felix Foley:

  • Welcome one and all to the Foley Funhouse! I’d like to tell you a story about a mirror. Two men were each given a mirror and told that it would change their lives. They took it home and decided what to do

  • Welcome one and all to the Foley Funhouse!  Today, I’ve brought a very good friend along to tell you a story. His name is Darby Don’t Die and oh boy, does he have a tale for you. Take it away, Triple

  • “Hi, my name is Felix Foley and calling about the advert in the newspaper? You said you can forge performers for war in the industry?” “I can be there in an hour. Am I okay to bring my friends?” “That’s wonderful news!” …. …. …. …. “Thanks

  • “Welcome one and all to the Foley funhouse!”  “Tonight, I’m joined by my very good friend Fatso Moses. How’re you doing, Fatso?” “Hungwy.” “Of course. I asked you along today to talk to the children. Are you ready?” “You mean you bwackmailed me with

  • “Welcome one and all to the Foley Funhouse!” “Today, my friends and I would like to talk to you about pain, children.” “And I have just the guy to tell you a story. His name is Cocaine Zappa.” [puff] “It’s about to get really,

  • “Welcome one and all to a very special edition of the Foley Funhouse.” “Today we’re putting on a very special show.” “So sit back and enjoy… Puppetmonium!” “Hey there, my name is Gullible Gemini and I’m really confused; where are the Panda’s? This is

  • “Welcome one and all to the Foley Funhouse!” “This week, we’ll be talking about music!” “With music in the air here in Old School Wrestling, I thought it prudent to hear from an expert on such matters. So, please allow me to

  • “Welcome one and all to the Foley Funhouse!” “Today, we’re going to look at the rainbow. You know children, the rainbow is an often spoke of but never seen wonder here in Arcadia. Whilst it may be somewhat mythological – one

  • “Welcome one and all to the Foley Funhouse!” “Every child born in Arcadia one day wants to become a superhero. Whether it’s the antics of Superduperman or Beetleboy, children all go through the same phase; the hero phase.” “For most, the hero

  • “Mr. Foley is unable to join us today, children – he’s a little under the weather.” “But my name is Marvellous Mr. Mammon and I’ve been asked to step in.” “Today, I’d like to tell you a story.” “There was once a man

  • “Welcome one and all to the Foley Funhouse!” “Damien Wolfe has one of my friends. He’s holding the Conservator hostage until Invasion and I’m afraid of what he might do. Damien, I know there’s an evil within you, and I want

  • “Welcome one and all to the Foley Funhouse!” “Dental hygiene is extremely important. If you don’t brush your teeth regularly, you may end up with tooth decay. Don’t listen to me though, children; listen to my good friend Sandy The Tooth.” “Close

  • “Welcome one and all to the Foley Funhouse!” “Death is a very final and terrifying thing, children. I know that sometimes, people like Jasper Redgrave can scare you, so I’ve brought a friend to help you understand.” “Please meet Deathly Dan.” “My daddy

  • “Welcome one and all to the Foley Funhouse!” “Our friends at the police are there to protect and serve.” “It’s their job to make sure they catch criminals and put them behind bars to protect Arcadia.” “So today, I’ve asked a good friend

  • Felix Foley: “Welcome one and all to the Foley Funhouse!” Felix Foley: “Unfortunately, the unusual events last week at Clash has left me feeling a little… under the weather.” Pistol Pete: “So Pistol Pete be takin’ the fuck over.” Felix Foley: “Everyone, please

  • Felix Foley:  “Welcome one and all to the Foley Funhouse!” Felix Foley: “Today, boys and girls, my good friend Polly Parrot has asked to join us to talk about a very important topic; pst, it’s photography in sex education.” Polly Parrot: “Thanks

  • Felix Foley: “Welcome one and all to the Foley Funhouse!” Felix Foley: “Today, boys and girls, we’re going to hear from a very special friend; his name is Old man Bertie. Old man Bertie has glaucoma and struggles to see. But

The Butcher