Life’s been screwing me sideways ever since I hit double digits.

I was just walking home from school, minding my own, when Hook and his crusty crew, the Jolly Roger, snatched me up. I wasn’t the first kid they grabbed off the street… and I sure as hell wasn’t the last.

They treated me worse than garbage. I had to scrub their nasty toilets with my tongue after they blew ’em up with bad burritos, got punched in the gut for asking where the sink was, and if you so much as yawned at bedtime? Boom. Back to the start.

I still would’ve been there if it weren’t for Peter. He and his gang, the Lost Boys, broke us out of there before recruiting us to join their fight.

I was his pet project. He taught me how to square up with the grown ups and how to hide my weaknesses so I don’t get my tail kicked in.

But once Wendy came along, he bailed on us. Since I was the closest to him, he wrote a note to all of us, saying he made me the leader and to trust me with their lives.

There were three things he taught me that I took to heart. With them, I can take on any adult that thinks they can step between me and my crew.

The first; everyone thinks they have you beat until they get punched in the mouth.

I shouldn’t expect to go into a fight with a plan like one of those maggot brained scientists. Those type of guys set everything up in their heads, thinking things will go exactly as they think it will.

It never does. The second they get into a real fight and get their teeth knocked loose, those plans are forgotten about and they’re crawling back home to mommy.

The second lesson was to let the bigger guys underestimate me.

To them, I’m just a snot nosed kid that needs to be taught that this ain’t a game, but war. What kind of chance would I stand against warlords, mobsters, and captains?

What those lunkheads don’t get is that I can hit just as hard as them. Sure I’m not as big or as strong as most of them, but I know where to hit and how to hard to hit it.

Once they’ve been knocked down, they’ll realize how big of a threat I am and take me seriously.

The last thing I was told was to stay focused and not let anyone take you away from the fight.

I was told the time to pump yourself up and talk smack was before you throw hands, not while doing so. So if a pretty lady calls your name, don’t give her your number and stay on top of the guy you’re fighting.

Doubly so if you’re a horndog and a spy.

At WrestleHeroes, I will do Peter proud and show Molvania that they need to believe in the Lost Boys.

Because what’s lost will soon be found.