To be the best, you have to beat the best.

That’s why I’m here at the most successful fast food enterprise in this big beautiful world!

Say it with me everyone!

McDonald’s!!!!

That’s right, through a combination of efficiency and consistency, McDonald’s has triumphed over everyone in its way.

It doesn’t need to call itself a king, the people chose him over the monarchy of burgers.

It doesn’t need five guys, just two brothers that helped create the wonder we know today.

Forget Wendy’s, we both know the only redhead that matters in our fast food festivities is Ronald!

So many have tried and failed to overcome the ruler with the golden arches and all have failed.

McDonald’s is the best because it has beaten everyone else to become the most successful burger establishment in the world and that’s why we say…

Ba ba ba ba… I’m loving it.

Ziggy goes to take a bite and immediately spits it out.

Cut, cut, cut I can’t do this, that’s what we’re feeding to people, that’s what we’re forcing them to accept as the best?

That’s what has the best record of consumer satisfaction?

That’s what makes people say nevermind to anyone else?

How this is the most successful fast food company for decades now is the biggest riddle since the sphinx and Alexander!

I have eaten a lot of crow over the years but I can’t even swallow this.

Ziggy needs to talk to the biggie in charge!

Sir! This is a disgrace, just because you have served the most burgers to the most people does not mean you are the best, it just means you’re more successful and sometime down the line, you were too big to fail so you stopped trying. All you hand now are losses in the form of meat. I tried to eat one of your burgers today and I was hoping to have a kick of flavor that reminded me of childhood.

It did do that but the bad ways that made Ziggy feel icky.

It reminded me of what we don’t do to children or people.

If that’s what being successful or the best means, I don’t want a part of it.

I don’t want to trick and deceive people to get what I want.

I want to earn it because you know what’s better than being the best, being good.

That’s how you beat the best.

Not through trying to replicate the deceptions and tricks and riddles.

Not by distractions or copying what should have never been produced.

I will never beat someone like you at your own game so it’s time to do what Ziggy does best, make something that makes you feel good because it is good.

Ziggy leaves and makes his own burger.

Yes, that’s it! It might not make me billions and billions of dollars or worth my weight in gold but it’s something I can be proud of and if there’s one thing that matters more than any win, it’s being proud of yourself.

Yes, that definitely beats McDonald’s because goodness beats greatness no matter what.