“YOU’VE GOT A FRIEND IN ME”
Static covers the screen as a Play ► symbol appears in the bottom right-hand corner.
There’s smoke everywhere. As Bad Mother Fuckers and The Rainbow Party come to amongst the carnage, they can barely see through the thick fog.
Vayikra are wisely out the side door, escaping together.
Pyre and Zero get back to their feet, grabbing Luke Storm and helping him back to his. He’s bleeding from a large wound on his forehead, given to him by Simon and that fucking cross.
[ Starboy ] “Kid?”
He stumbles through the smoke, coughing and spluttering, but yelling out for The Generation Kid.
[ Vigour ] “Kid!? Call out!”
bMf slowly make their way to the exit, Zero looking back inside to see Vigour and Starboy meet up in the middle of the smoke, looking for their friend.
[ Pyre ] “Don’t do it…”
Pyre warns, looking at Zero.
[ Pyre ] “”We’ve gotta get Luke out of here and I’m not losing either one of you fuckers to heroics. Now, help me get him to the fucking car.”
Zero doesn’t say a word and nods reluctantly, moving on with Luke Storm held between them. Meanwhile, back inside, Vigour and Starboy have finally found The Generation Kid and begin dragging him out of the main doors. When they get to the outside, they collapse in a heap outside the burning church, trying to catch their breath. Simon could’ve killed them all.
He nearly did.
There’s going to be hell to pay.
TRIPLE THREAT MATCH
KAINE KNIGHTLORD vs. LUCY SEREPHINA vs. THE IMPALER
Which legacy will prove greatest – the decades-old masked mantle, or the immortal bloodlines!?
The Impaler lunges for Knightlord, but Lucy intervenes with a poison dart-like dropkick! Sending Legion into the corner, The Sovereign of Silence wall-runs him, taking his head off with a backflip kick! She waits for him to stumble out, then bounces off the ropes and spikes him with a bulldog! She covers. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT!
Stalking her target, The Angelic Assassin traps him in a swinging neckbreaker – VAMPIRE’S BLOOD!? NO! The near 300-pound Impaler sandbags it. Breaking her grip, he tears into the ropes… LARIATO – THE ADAM SMASHER! He’s not finished with her yet, though. ROMERO SPECIAL… DRAGON SLEEPER – EVE’S SNAKE! Will Seraphina tap!? KAINE BREAKS IT UP!
Lucy’s mentor pulls Impaler into a ripcord clothesline-Northern lariat combo – BLOODY STREAM! Nightscream helps The Angel of Wisdom up, and they lay into Dread Pirate Roberts with tandem stomps. Knightlord asks for the pass, which Lucy obliges. Kaine pumphandles him into a brainbuster… BLOOD DRI—ROLL-UP! ONE… TWO… SERAPHINA MAKES THE SAVE!
Checking on Shadow Bat, she turns back round – BLACK MIST! Incapacitating Lucy, Impaler rises – but Knightlord butterflies his arms! NIGHT RAID!? DENIED! Escaping the Killswitch, Impaler kicks Kaine in the gut, then hoists him up… SINGLE-SHOULDER POWERBOMB – NIGHT CITY BLACKOUT! He covers him, as Seraphina stumbles round blindly. ONE… TWO… THREE!
The Impaler’s legacy devours that of his foes.
WINNER: THE IMPALER
Tenchu sits in his locker room, the file Kaine had given him the previous week sitting on the seat of a chair in front of him. You can tell, despite his robotic features, that he is thinking a lot about what he was told.
He reaches over to the file, flipping it open.
He flips her photo out of the way as he reads the report before him. He flips through more pages when he senses a presence. He looks up and there is Kaine Knightlord himself.
[ Kaine Knightlord ] “I see you’ve at least chosen to open up the file. Find anything interesting?”
Tenchu closes the folder quickly, slapping it down on the chair where it started.
[ Tenchu ] “I see a creature looking for something, but I can’t tell what.”
Kaine looks the Metal Shadow in the eye, standing up straighter than he had.
[ Kaine Knightlord ] “Justice. I’m looking for justice. Plain and simple. Banzan has led too many here to their deaths, enemies and allies a like. I know you saw her entry. His first student, and look where it led.”
[ Tenchu ] “He’s learned. He’s been cautious.”
The HellBat smirks at this before walking over to the file and picking it up himself.
[ Kaine Knightlord ] “She struggled too. Broken between two worlds. You’re not much different. I’ve known men and women like you…”
Tenchu turns around and cuts the Dark Detective off.
[ Tenchu ] “You know I’m a machine, right?”
[ Kaine Knightlord ] “But you can be so much more than that. I’ve looked into the Odawara Clan. I’ve seen what they saw in you, what you were meant to be.”
Tenchu shakes his head, clearly annoyed at what Kaine has to say.
[ Tenchu ] “Another thinking they can know me, know what my clan desired…”
This time Kaine cuts him off, producing a familiar scroll.
[ Kaine Knightlord ] “I may not be as old as you are, Tenchu, but I’m not too young either. I’ve got connections and secrets of my own. Kindred in Japan, Kindred who once bore the Odwara flag themselves. I’ve talked with them. Some remember you, remember your makers.”
Kaine hands the scroll over to Tenchu before continuing.
[ Kaine Knightlord ] “You were meant to be the very best in Japan. Not just a weapon, a tool. But a leader, the moral centre of the Shogunate. You were meant to be the heart and soul of Japan for a thousand years. Better than Oda Nobunaga, better than Toyotomi Hideyoshi, better than Tokugawa Ieyasu. A hero, a legend.”
Tenchu sits back in his chair, hearing the words Kaine is saying are clearly having an impact.
[ Kaine Knightlord ] “It was your enemies, those who feared you. They managed to get you taken out of commission. Messed with your programming enough.”
Kaine kneels next to Tenchu, placing a hand on his shoulder.
[ Kaine Knightlord ] “You don’t have to believe me. But you have ways of learning this truth as well.”
Kaine places the scroll along with the file, before the Metal Shadow.
[ Kaine Knightlord ] “Banzan is a criminal. One that will face justice. I’ve seen to that, but I would be remiss if I allowed another student under Banzan’s flag to come to harm if there is something I could do to prevent it.”
Tenchu looks to Kaine, a mix of responses clearly present on his face. Unsure of what is happening. Kaine stands to his feet and heads to the door.
[ Kaine Knightlord ] “Meet me at InVasion. Like the Samurai of old, I will reveal the truth to you in combat. Make your decision then.”
Kaine leaves as Tenchu looks at the documents before him, tossing them across the room in frustration over the games the Vampire Detective is playing with him.
A few moments pass and Tenchu stands back up, collecting the file and scroll and placing them on the table as he thinks about what to do next.
In an entirely unknown location, we see Death’s friend, confidant, and helper – Mortimer. He’s walking through the darkness, searching for someone, only we’re not quite sure who.
[ Mortimer ] “I’m here on behalf of your father.”
[ Mortimer ] “Don’t shut me out. He’s always known where you were and he allowed it, but now he wants you to come home.”
[ Unknown ] “Why?”
[ Mortimer ] “Sigil. He fears him.”
There’s a callous chuckle, but not much else.
Mortimer rolls his dead white eyes.
[ Mortimer ] “This isn’t a time for petty squabbles, boy; I thought I taught you better than that. Why don’t you have some respect and come meet me face to face instead of talking through his darkness.”
[ Mortimer ] “Very well, I’ll tell your daddy that you won’t come home. I’ll tell him that you ignored me and my council. He’s expecting that.”
[ Unknown ] “Daddy says… Daddy says…”
The voice is familiar, but we can’t quite pin it down.
[ Mortimer ] “I used to think that you were the only person in the world, dead, alive or otherwise that was not afraid of your father.”
[ Mortimer ] “But I was wrong. Sigil isn’t afraid either.”
[ Mortimer ] “Daddy says come home. Take my council and do as he wishes.”
BANZAN vs. MORDECAI
It’s a collision of big hitters as The Gatekeeper of Dreams hopes to give nightmares to The Indestructible Mountain.
Test of strength to start this bout, but neither competitor is giving up an inch. The stalemate is unbroken so they separate. Mordecai charges, looking to catch Banzan off balance, but The Mountain counters with a palm strike – and four more!!! TIGER CLAW!!! The five point palm strike floors The Gatekeeper.
No cover from Banzan, instead he’s off the ropes looking for that big running knee…MAGGA-NO!! Mordecai ducks under it, Banzan comes back off the ropes….REALITY CHECK!!!! The very European uppercut sends The Buddhist onto the ropes. Big splash from Mordecai into MYOCLONIC TWITCH!!!! It may be forty winks for Bazan…ONE! TWO! KICKOUT!!!!
Mordecai peels Banzam off the mat. Knife edge chop. NO SELL!!! Headbutt from Banzan….DUKKHA!!! Suffering exists in the form of the saito suplex. Mordecai is sprawled near a corner. Banzan climbs to the middle rope…BANZAN DROP!!! That would have caved in an ordinary person’s chest…ONE! TWO! SHOULDER UP!!!! Incredible resilience from the Dream Guardian.
How much more can these two warriors dish out and take? They are their feet again, meat slapping meat in the middle of the ring. Mordecai with a big overhand right but Banzan blocks it and counters with a big straight right to the nose. Banzan lifts Mordecai with an epic feet of strength and powerslams him into the canvas, following up with MAGGA!!! ONE! TWO! THREE!!!
The Indestructible Mountain puts Mordecai to sleep!
The scene out the front of the Slaughterhouse is chaotic, as a placard-waving crowd has gathered. The group has formed two rows out the front entrance to OSW’s hallowed ground, waiting for one particular arrival.
The signs they hold carry various slogans… ‘Gays = Sin’ … ‘Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve’ … ‘Homosexuals Burn’…
Generally, a rabid crowd that are rallied to feral hatred by the words of a single, masked soul. Sir Gable.
In the moment that Starboy arrives for the night, he is greeted by a rally of abuse on his way through the crowd towards the front entranceway – yet he keeps his eyes burning on the red, white and blue figure that stands at the head of the lines.
[ Sir Gable ] “Fornicators such as yourself have tarnished the fabric of society. Everything you stand for is unnatural. You are sin embodied, Starboy.”
Starboy pushes past Gable, carrying his bag through the front door of the Slaughterhouse and escaping inside. Sir Gable follows him, leaving his mob outside to chant their slogans.
[ Sir Gable ] “You will be punished for your immorality. To the full extent of the Lord’s wrath.”
At this, Starboy stops, turns and drops his bag.
[ Starboy ]“Your Lord? In his name, wars are started. Your Lord was a petty, jealous asshole. The world is better off without his judgmental shit. I stand for everything he is not. I stand for love, pure and unconditional.”
[ Sir Gable ] “You stand for lust. The type of immoral behaviour that has tarnished this world. Men coveting men, it’s a cancer that is killing God’s creation. Sir Vant has revealed the truth and you must be made an example of so other sinners don’t follow in your lustful ways.”
Starboy balls his fists.
[ Starboy ] “Man, woman… Why must we label love? I teach others to follow their heart, wherever it leads, whoever they are. You… You’re acting out of fear. An hourglass whose time is running out.”
[ Sir Gable ] “We must label immorality so that it does not destroy us all.
GABLE PUNCHES STARBOY RIGHT IN THE FACE! STARBOY DROPS FROM THE UNEXPECTED HAYMAKER!
Gable claws at the crucifix around his neck, holding it in his hands as he watches over the downed Starboy. But there’s something about what Starboy said that hit a nerve. He’s right.
There’s fear in Gable’s eyes.
His days are numbered and he knows it.
CHRONOA vs. CORVUS
Two fated combatants enter the ring. But who is fated to leave victorious?
The bell rings and Corvus is quick to leap to the ropes! He flies into Chronoa with a leaping savate kick! He slides under her legs and hits the turnbuckles! MOONSAULT TO A STANDING CHRONOA! THE HARBINGER OF FATE HAS BEEN FATED TO MEET THE GROUND! Corvus is quick to his feet!
Chronoa tries to stand but gets a soccer kick to the stomach! Corvus hits the ropes- AND GETS NAILED WITH A BOMAYE KNEE SMASH! SPARKED OUT! CHRONOA IS CHANNELING JAC BASTARD! The Crow hits the mat and Chronoa slingshots him into the corner! Corvus lands chest first!
The Harbinger unloads with a massive clothesline! Corvus can’t brawl with the Bastard! Lefts and rights knock him every which way! She whips him across the ring for the big boot- NO! CORVUS DUCKS! FLASH KICK! CORVUS KICK! Corvus follows up with a leg sweep! SNAP STOMP THE GUT! THE CROW HITS A BRUTAL COMBO!
Corvus is back on top but Chronoa slams the ground as she forces herself to her feet! GYPSY KISS! STUNNER! CORVUS HAS DEJA VU! Chronoa goes for the kill! ROARING ELBOW TO THE BACK OF THE SKULL- NO! RKO BY CORVUS! BLACK HAND’S BLADE! HE COVERS! ONE! TWO! THREE!
Fate favors Corvus here tonight!
“A MOUNTAIN FEAST”
Banzan is back in his locker room, sweat beading off of his large frame after his match when out of the darkness of his locker room a giggle is heard.
[???] “Adrenaline does wonders for the blood. Makes it all rich and creamy!”
Banzan takes up the Mountain Stance, getting ready for what is to come.
[ Banzan ] “You clearly take your lapdog roll too seriously. You’ve stepped into the wrong locker room, witch.”
The Angel of Silence is anything but as she giggles at the threat.
[ Lucy Serephina ] “Oh, I know exactly where I am. You’re my feast!”
She takes a step towards Banzan who wastes no time and begins swiping at the Magi-Vampire with several Tiger Claws, each just narrowly missing Seraphina.
[ Lucy Serephina ] “I learned my lesson from these.”
She pats Banzan’s hand as he again swipes at her, Seraphina just being a little bit faster.
[ Lucy Serephina ] “Stay out of reach and you’re nothing but a little pussy cat.”
One swipe finally catches Lucy, but not enough to do what Banzan was hoping for. Lucy looks down at her attire, claw marks now visible.
[ Banzan ] “All it takes is one blow to end things. I don’t know what you and your master have planned. But if he sent you to fight me, than he either overestimates you, or underestimates me.”
Lucy snarls at the remark, clearly insulted by what was just said.
[ Lucy Serephina ] “HE’S NOT MY MASTER!”
The infuriated Lucy charges at Banzan, who returns the charge.
Lucy just ducks under it, a giggle returning to her as she realizes what the Mountain was doing.
[ Lucy Serephina ] “Oh, you’re good. But ont that good. Maybe another time. When your blood is even hotter, tastier. Maybe then I’ll make you my feast.”
She leaves the locker room as quickly as she entered as Banzan relaxes his stance now that the threat is gone.
[ Banzan ] “The speaker may well be a fool but the listener is wise, Seraphina. You talk too much.”
SIGIL vs. SIMON
Two of the most devious minds in OSW clash, whose strategy will prevail?
Sigil and Simon are stood facing each other inside the ring. COSMIC LEAP!!! SIGIL TELEPORTS!!! But Simon calculates faster than a chess computer. As the portal opens behind him….GAMBIT!!! The spinning back fist hits with such force Sigil staggers back through the portal and closes behind him.
Simon is looking around, where will The Realmwalker materialise? PORTAL!!! IT OPENS BELOW SIMON’S FEET AND THE TASKMASTER FALLS THROUGH!!!! WHERE THE FUCK HAS SIGIL TELEPORTED THEM????
Suddenly another portal opens, both fall through…backbreaker from Sigil from out of the portal…repeated elbows….SIMON IS SUFFERING ON THE LONG ROAD HEAD!!! Cover for ONE! TWO! SHOULDER UP!!! Sigil peels Simon off the mat. The Collector is not feeling MERCIFUL as he tries a chop to the back of the head! SIMON DUCKS!! LOW BLOW INTO THE SIMONPLEX! Held for ONE! TWO! THR-KICKOUT!!!!
Simon is in the advance, he’s looking for CHECKMATE but Sigil boots him off. COSMIC LEAP!!! FINITE!!! The roundhouse kick out of the portal sends The Taskmaster into the turnbuckle. PLANESWALKER!!!! NO!!! Simom evaded and a Russian leg sweep…REVERSED!!! Sigil counters into ON WOUNDED LEGS…THE TASKMASTER TAPS OUT!!!
Sigil’s endgame proves insurmountable for even Simon’s stellar mind!
What a match between Simon and Sigil!
Simon rolls out of the ring and makes his way towards the back.
Sigil follows soon after.
He makes his way up the ramp, he’s about to the back but right before he disappears from the view of fans, a hand grips his throat!
[ Sigil ] “What? I thought you were taken care of.”
[ ??? ] “You thought wrong.”
Another voice comes from behind!
Chair shot to the back of the head!
Sigil crumbles but Impaler still has him by the throat!
SeeSaw clutches Sigil by the throat too!
SeeSaw and Impaler nod at each other.
Double chokeslam on the ramp!
They start stomping away on Sigil!
SeeSaw grabs the chair and sets it up the right way!
Impaler sets Sigil on his shoulders and hits a death valley driver right on the chair!
Sigil is out cold and SeeSaw and Impaler make their way to the back.
The lights go out and the arena is pitch black!
The lights turn back on and Mordecai is standing over Sigil!
[ Mordecai ] “Did you really think I’d work with you and turn my back on my purpose for something so trivial? They went to sleep and I let them sleep. When they woke up, I told them your plan and how I wasn’t going along with it. Wake up, Sigil. It’s a title, nothing more, nothing less.”
Mordecai sits next to Sigil.
[ Mordecai ] “You made a deal with the wrong brother. I’m the gatekeeper of dreams. I’m no invader. I don’t work against the order of the universe, I uphold it.”
Mordecai stands and drags Sigil. He leans his face against the broken chair.
Curb stomp on the chair to punctuate his point!
Mordecai crouches over Sigil.
[ Mordecai ] “If you are willing to try and make me go against everything I stand for for a shot at a title, I’ll make sure you never get it.”
Mordecai walks away.
DEATHNOTE vs. ZERO
Two forces of nature collide as Deathnote takes on Zero! Will the Author of Death be able to write off the Bad Mamajama?
Deathnote and Zero come to blows at the jump, trading lefts and rights as Zero makes use of his modified strength to wear the Author of Death down with a barrage of punches, before sending him to the corner. Zero charges…but Deathnote dodges the hacker’s attack at the last second!
Zero collides with the turnbuckle, giving Deathnote a much-needed opening as he brings the Tag Team Champion down with a chop block on the back of his knee, bringing Zero down hard! Deathnote goes for a cover off the back of this, but Zero kicks out emphatically at one!
Sensing a need to ramp things up, Deathnote brings Zero up to his feet, hoisting the hacker up as he looks to connect with a Burning Hammer! DYING WISH–NO! Zero slips out, slamming Deathnote with repeated forearm strikes before lifting Deathnote up for a Burning Hammer of his own! CPU DRIVER!
Zero might have the match won here, as he goes for the cover! ONE! TWO! NO! Deathnote just manages to kick out! Deathnote gets to his feet, but Zero is waiting with a Stunner! PUNK CITY–NO! TURN THE PAGE! Deathnote with the cover after that Sister Abigail! ONE! TWO! THREE!
Deathnote manages to topple Zero, making a statement in the process!
The match is over, and Zero has taken his leave from the ring…but before Deathnote can do the same, he’s whisked away from the ring in a rush of wind into darkness.
And standing before him is Chronoa, a glare on the face of the Keeper of History. Deathnote looks around, amazed at the darkness but also curious as to any third parties in the vicinity.
[ Chronoa ] “There’s no one else here, Deathnote. No one’s listening.”
There’s a look of doubt on his face, but the Author of Death turns his attention to Chronoa all the same.
[ Deathnote ] “Have you reconsidered my offer, then?”
Chronoa shakes her head, standing firm in her refusal.
[ Chronoa ] “I told you already, there’s something coming. The truth is coming…and it’ll soon rear its ugly head.”
The glare only narrows, as if she’s assessing the God of the New World.
[ Chronoa ] “I know.”
Precisely what she knows, the Harbinger of Fate chooses to keep to herself. All the same, this gets a look of approval from Deathnote with a sinister smirk.
[ Deathnote ] “And this is why we should align our purposes come Invasion. Your knowledge matches mine, and we know each other.”
Without another word, Chronoa vanishes…leaving an amused Deathnote with his thoughts.
With a can of Slice (orange, of course) in his hand, the Generation Kid is maxing and relaxing backstage as he sits in front of an old television.
His two Rainbow Party brethren will be going toe to toe, and TGK has got a front row seat for what promises to be a tough contest.
His title is beside him, and his hoverboard is leaning up against the couch.
Or it was.
[ Wiz ] “It won’t make ya fly, but it’ll make ya cry, ya dig?”
WHAM! WIZ NAILS THE RISING KID WITH THE HOVER BOARD!
[ Tag ] “Careful now. I don’t want anything to mess up this beaut’.”
He takes the board from Wiz, and polishes out the smudge where TGK’s head hit it. His eyes move up the prostrate body of the Kid, before a smile crosses his face.
But Wiz was ahead of him, picking up the Rewind title.
[ Wiz ] “Finders keepers, right?”
Tag grins, but wipes it off quick.
[ Tag ] “Let’s take it from him the old fashioned way. We just need to make sure the four way is just between us, you dig?”
The Purple Pelican smiles at Tag’s usage of his lingo.
[ Wiz ] “Oh, I dig.”
He drops the strap on the ground, and the pair walk off laughing to themselves.
A few moments later, Zero walks through the same room, fresh off his match with Deathnote. He pauses as he takes in the scene with TGK starting to come to on the ground. The hacker nudges him with his toe.
[ Zero ] “You really are a shit magnet, aren’t you? Smells like patchouli and budussy in this bitch.”
Kneeling down, he picks the Kid up, who starts back to full alert. The cyborg gives him a knowing look.
[ Zero ] “Tag and Wiz?”
[ The Generation Kid ] “They took my board.”
Standing back up as TGK sits back up on the couch, Zero sees the Rewind title on the ground. He picks it up, and gives it a deep look.
Worth a thousand words.
But then he tosses it onto Kid’s lap.
[ Zero ] “I’d be more worried about losing the gold.”
With that, the Bad Mother Fucker walks away, leaving the Kid to rub his head while he watches his best friends fight.
What a night.
But the truth is simple:
The Generation Kid has to be like the Empire.
He has to strike back.
VIGOUR vs. STARBOY
Rainbow Party clash it out here tonight as Starboy and Vigour look to find out who the most vibrant one truly is.
The bell sounds as both men nod their head before rushing forward, Starboy ducking underneath a Lariat but as he tries for a donkey punch, Vigour leaps up, clocking Starboy on the temple with a Pele Kick dropping him to the mat. Vigour quickly leaps up in the air as Starboy falls, landing the Quick Thrill!
Vigour stays down for the cover for a two count, Starboy quickly getting the shoulder up but as Vigour tries to pull Starboy up to his feet, he gets pushed away before driven into the mat with the Gangbangarang. Vigour stumbles to his feet into a flurry of lefts and rights before trying to lift him up onto his shoulders for Taste the Rainbow.
Vigour however slips down his back, delivering a hard back-cracker that leaves Starboy reeling in pain as Vigour quickly climbs up to the top rope, looking to show his tag partner a Splash of Colour but Starboy just moves out of the way, causing Vigour to Five Star all over the mat.
The Prince of Party stumbles to his feet right into the DONKEY…NO! Vigour dodges the elbow once more, kicking Starboy in the gut before lifting him up into a suplex. VIM AND VIGOUR! Vigour collapses onto Starboy for the one…two…three!!!
The Prince of Party picks up the big victory here, proving to be the better member of Rainbow Party here tonight
The Templar walks through the halls, carrying himself with confidence as he steps towards the entrance of the arena. However, he’s soon stopped by a cigarette flicked into his direction. The flame smolders in front of him for a moment before he looks up, meeting Luke Storm face to face.
[ Hollywood Luke Storm ] “You know, when I saw you talking to Simon I thought you’d be smarter than this. But you and your boys? You fucked up.”
Bellator tilts his head, staring a hole through Storm before replying.
[ Sir Bellator ] “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. The sin of Pride that you and your ilk share brought my templars to you like moths to flame. Likewise, it is the sin of Wrath that brought Shaw’s demise. I would have come after you no matter what. It is simply Simon who showed me the way.”
As those words come out of Bellator’s mouth Storm leaps at him!
[ Hollywood Luke Storm ] “EAT SHIT!”
LIGHTNING STRIKE- NO!
EQUALIZER TO THE SKULL!
A steel chair collides with Storm and sends him to the floor! Simon was waiting in the shadows!
[ Simon ] “Thank you, Sanctus. Of course he’d becoming for you after last week. He can’t quite seem to get his hands on me, of course.”
The Taskmaster chuckles to himself, holding the chair tightly as he watches Storm. Sir Bellator, meanwhile, steps over the fallen A-lister on his way to his match.
However, he stops, turning towards Simon.
[ Sir Bellator ] “Pride before the fall, Simon. You do well to remember that.”
Before Simon can make him elaborate, however, Sanctus enters the arena, leaving the Taskmaster to ponder the words.
TRIPLE THREAT MATCH
SIR BELLATOR vs. SIR RENAULT vs. SIR GABLE
The bell sounds as Sir Renault and Sir Bellator rush forward, drilling an unsuspecting Sir Gable with a hard double clothesline. The newest Vayikra member stumbles to his feet into a double kick to the gut, Renault lifting Gable up in a Crucifix Powerbomb as Bellator quickly heads up to the top rope.
WRATH OF YAHWEH! Gable rolls out of the ring out of it as Bellator rolls to his feet, just ducking under a clothesline from Renault before nailing a stiff roundhouse that stuns Renault before he locks in THE ARM OF GOD!
Renault struggles, his arm feeling the strain and agony but he manages deliver a stiff right hand that rocks Bellator, loosening the hold enough to lift him up high and Powerbomb him nearly through the mat, breaking the submission.
Renault looks for the end, pulling the hurting Bellator up off his feet but gets surprised by a kick to the knee before Bellator takes his head off with the kneeling Superkick. He doesn’t go for the cover though as he just spies Gable on the top rope, quickly leaping up high, IMPERTIO FROM THE TOP! Gable lands hard as Bellator hooks both legs for the one…two…three!!!
Sir Bellator picks up the victory here as the Chosen One cements his standing in Yahweh’s favor.
WINNER: SIR BELLATOR
We’re in the Snake Pit, and Viper Roberts has some prey.
In the centre of the room is an old wooden chair, and sat in that chair is none other than Corvus. He’s bound at the wrists and ankles with thick leather straps, and a fabric gag covers his mouth.
The snakes all around the room jeer at The Black Hand as Roberts approaches him with a small hammer and several toothpicks, a big smile on his face.
Corvus tries to talk him out of it but the gag is stopping him. One of the snakes holds his left hand in place and Viper puts one of the toothpicks under the nail of his ungloved hand. He swings the hammer playfully and then hits the toothpick.
He screams so loud it even makes it through the gag. Viper leans in.
[ Viper Roberts ] Save me…
The assassin is in too much pain to do anything right now, and Roberts isn’t letting up, moving to the next finger and repeating the trick. He’s treating Corvus like a human pin cushion!
Another scream! Corvus now in so much pain it brings tears to his eyes.
And again Viper leans in, this time to the other ear.
[ Viper Roberts ] Free me…
Corvus doesn’t understand, and braces himself for the next finger. Viper swings…
…and Corvus awakens in his bed, drenched in cold sweat once more. Just another nightmare. He sighs and drops back down onto the pillow, wide awake and staring at the ceiling. What is going on!?
TRIPLE THREAT MATCH
ETHER vs. TAG vs. WIZ
Jet Set Radio has stuck together through thick and thin, remaining best friends no matter what adversity they face. But tonight we will find out just who the best friend is.
DING DING DING!
Ether, Tag, and Wiz look hesitantly at one another. They know they must fight tonight, but none of them wants to make the first move.
Jet Set Radio’s friendship is held above all else.
No one wants to jeopardize that bond.
Wiz offers Ether his hand. She accepts, shaking it.
Wiz then turns to Tag, and the two buddies with testosterone stand eye to eye, engaging in an intense stare down… before performing their secret handshake with big smiles on their faces!
Tag then turns his head to Ether, and they walk up to each other and bump fists, Ether winking at Tag. After she turns around to head back to her corner, Tag gives her petite bubble butt a playful pat…
ETHER JUST TAGGED SEXY DYNAMITE WITH A BIG RED HAND PRINT ACROSS HIS FACE!
Tag tries to reason with Ether but she will hear none of it, grabbing Tag’s hand and pulling him in close—
FUCK YA FACE!!
SHE ADDED NEW WHEEL TATS NEXT TO HER HANDPRINT WITH THAT SOLE FOOD!!
Tag logrolls out of the ring to the outside while Wiz takes a turn attempting to calm down Ether, walking right into a DROP TOE HOLD! Wiz went down hard flat on his face, and when he lifts his head he reveals a stream of blood gushing from his nostrils!
STOMP! STOMP!! STOMP!!!
ETHER IS STOMPING AWAY ON WIZ’S HEAD! EACH STOMP LEAVING A NEW RED SPLOTCH ON THE MAT!!
Wiz nearly faints at the sight of his own bloodshed as Ether skates off the ropes and jumps up above Wiz’s head—
CURBSTOM—NO!! FIVE STAR FACIAL!!
Tag came from out of nowhere and bicycle kicked the taste out of Ether’s mouth with that one! He covers—
ETHER GETS A SHOULDER UP!!
Mr. Money Shot pulls the Bad Random to her feet as The Purple Pelican rises up in a bloody heap.
“The fuck happened to your face??” Tag asks as he and a woozy-looking Wiz prop Ether up against the ropes.
“She fucked my face, bro.”
The boys whip Ether into the ropes and drop her with stereo dropkicks on the rebound. Ether gets back up to her feet, holding her head as Wiz floats over her—
DDT! THAT’S THE BOOM BOOM, BITCH!! COVER—
TAG YANKS WIZ OFF ETHER TO BREAK THE COUNT!
Wiz nods at Tag, accepting the fact that it’s every man for himself tonight, and the boys tie up, collar and elbow. Tag twists Wiz’s arm around and wrenches it in, maintaining his grip and runs towards the corner up into an escalera and springboards off the top rope, leapfrogging above Wiz—
NO COMPLY!! THAT FAMEASSER JUST COMPRESSED WIZ’S NOSE AGAIN!!
It’s just a fountain of blood coming out now and The Purple Pelican looks out!! Tag hooks the leg—
DID SEXY DYNAMITE JUST SIT ON A GOLDMINE??
NO!! ETHER BREAKS UP THE PIN ATTEMPT WITH A STOMP!
Ether pulls Tag up to his feet as a doctor runs to ringside and holds pressure on Wiz’s nose with some gauze. Wiz begs for some “medicine” whiles he’s being attended to…
Ether Irish whips Tag into the ropes, Tag rebounds and Ether misses a clothesline, Tag ducking underneath and they both run into the ropes, heading towards a collision in the middle of the ring—
ETHER STRIKE! THE SPINNING HEEL KICK CONNECTS!
Tag is down in the middle of the ring but Ether isn’t in the mood for a quick cover.
She wants to make Mr. Money Shot pay up.
Ether skates to the corner and jumps up to the top rope. She wants to go for a joy ride!
RIDE THE SKY!! THE DOUBLE FOOT STOMP NEARLY CAVES TAG’S CHEST IN!! COVER—
ETHER RODE RIGHT TO THE FINISH LINE!!
THR—NO!! TAG GOT THE SHOULDER UP!!
The spat between these two buds won’t die down, and these two are pushing each other and mouthing off about what they’ve put each other through tonight.
WE’RE REACHING A FEVER PITCH! THEY’RE REALLY LOSING THEIR COOL!
But wait—here’s Wiz! He looks like he’s been facefucked by a bullet train but he’s back! He’s interjected himself between his buds and tells them to hold up…
And he produces a joint out of his pocket.
The three of them look at one another, contemplating…
Aw, what the hell, they shrug—AND WIZ LIGHTS THAT J UP!!
Wiz puffs, puffs again and passes to Tag, who puffs, puffs again and passes it on to Ether, who takes a biiiiig drag and coughs her lungs out before returning it back to Wiz.
Sharing a laugh, the boys embrace for a touching moment as the camera zooms out.
YOU GOT TO GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT!!
After a moment, the boys pause then slowly turn to their third… Uh oh.
The Bad Random is rubbing her belly.
SHE’S GOT THE MUNCHIES!!
The Hungry Girl’s stomach lets out a deep growl as she dashes towards the boys—DOUBLE SKATING CLOTHESLINE!!
Tag is up to his feet first—SKATING SUPERKICK!! Ether got all of it and rocked him right out of the ring!!
Now Wiz is up—SKATING SUPERKICK!! NO!! Wiz couldn’t afford another shot to the face and luckily he ducked that one and takes a shot of his own…
SUPERKICK—NO! ETHER CATCHES WIZ’S FOOT—TAPDANCE FUNK!! WIZ GOT ALL OF THAT ENZIGURI!!
Wiz’s medicine is kicking in, and he’s feeling a little funky! He scats while he dances over to the corner and in one swift hop the Purple Pelican is perched on the top rope. He rises—he shreds on his air guitar—and leaps…
BUT THE PURPLE PELICAN NEVER TOOK FLIGHT!
TAG CROTCHED HIM ON THE TOP TURNBUCKLE!!
Tag dumps poor Wiz onto the apron and he tumbles off into a heap on the outside as Tag now takes a turn to climb to the top rope…
Tag has Cassandra—AND SHE’S PRESSED UP AGAINST HIS STOMACH!
SKATEBOARD-ASSISTED SHOOTING STAR PRESS!!
STAR FADE RIGHT ON THE MONEY!!!
ETHER DEFINITELY HAS A STOMACH ACHE AFTER THAT ONE!!!
Tag, clutching his ribs, slowly crawls on top of Ether with every last ounce of strength in him and hooks the leg—
HAS MR. MONEY SHOT HIT PAY DIRT AT LAST??
Mr. Money Shot and his replacement friend Cassandra bagged and tagged their buds all the way to the bank tonight!
As Tag celebrates that incredible victory, Ether and Wiz slowly get back to their feet. They all hug in the middle of the ring, showing that there’s no hard feelings between them. Tag and Wiz begin making their exit, and Ether isn’t far behind.
A thunderous rip-roaring boom stops Ether dead in her tracks as fire explodes from the turnbuckles and begins engulfing the ropes. She stumbles backwards into the ring, desperately looking towards her comrades, who remain helpless on the outside. She runs towards the ropes behind her, only they explode into fire as well.
The lights suddenly and abruptly go out.
What the fuck is going on?
IT’S FUCKING PYRE!
THE FIRE BITCH STANDS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING BEHIND ETHER AS THE LIGHTS COME BACK ON!
She slams her with a fierce right hand, thrusting Ether backwards. The Hungry Girl quickly swipes with a high leg Clothesline but Pyre ducks underneath it, pushing her arms together.
OH MY GOD! FIREBALL AT ETHER!
FIREBALL AT ETHER!
She goes down in a heap, rolling around on the canvas, patting the fire out of her hair in desperation. Whilst all this is going on, no-one notices that a ladder has been set up outside the ring. Tag and Wiz are gonna save her!
They’re deciding who climbs…
FROM BEHIND IS ZERO! ZERO ATTACKS FROM BEHIND! He slams Tag face first into the ladder and then backs Wiz off, delivering knees to his mid-section. Pyre looks on with a sadistic smile, but doesn’t see that through the crowd and over the barricade has come another…
Vigour rushes up the ladder and gets to the top, looking down at Pyre..
HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!
VIGOUR TAKES OUT PYRE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!
The flames suddenly subside, giving Vigour a chance to get back to his feet, just in time to see Sir Renault sliding under the bottom rope. He runs at him, swinging with a Clothesline! VIGOUR DUCKS!
THE LIGHTS FLASH AND RENAULT RUNS STRAIGHT INTO A SPINNING HEEL KICK BY CHRONOA! WHERE THE FUCK DID SHE COME FROM!?
Vigour stumbles backwards, utterly shocked, as The Harbinger stands – ready to fight.
Holy fucking shit!
Vigour and Chronoa stare each other down as we fade to black.