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FTW #258 / “RUST OUT”

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“RUST OUT”
EPISODE #258
FEBRUARY 7TH 2022

 

 

 

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“GOODBYE”
FEATURING
VOYNICH & THE SANDMAN

Click.

Static covers the screen as a Play ► symbol appears in the bottom right-hand corner.

On this Championship special edition of Fuck the World, we open in the backstage area with Voynich storming towards the doors, his bag over his shoulder.

He’s looking to make a hasty exit, when suddenly, The Sandman blocks his path.

The Sandman ] “Going somewhere?”

He asks ominously, the OSW Championship over his shoulder.

Voynich ] “I’m leaving.”

The Sandman ] “So I can see, but the question is, why?”

Voynich can’t side-step or go around him.

Voynich ] “What does it matter to you? I’m not coming back tonight; maybe ever. That makes your Championship defence easier, doesn’t it?”

The Sandman tilts his head, surprised.

The Sandman ] “Is it you?”

Voynich ] “What?”

The Sandman ] “Are you his snake? Your introduction into our Championship match happened because Viper Roberts suggested it, putting two titles on the line instead of one. Now, you’re leaving.”

The Best Kept Secret shakes his head in disgust.

Voynich ] “You think I’d work for Viper Roberts?”

The Sandman ] “It stands to reason. If he demanded that you leave, to make his odds of winning a title more favourable, then you going would make sense, would it not?”

Voynich ] “Think what you want.”

Voynich almost pushes past The Sandman towards the door.

Voynich ] “I’m leaving and I’m not coming back tonight. Period.

He storms off.

It looks like our Fatal Four Way two Championship extravaganza of a Main Event is down at least one man. Voynich has left the building and he’s not coming back.

Cut.

 

 

 

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“THE DARK TOWER”
FEATURING
CHRONOA AND UNKNOWN

Backstage.

At the end of Revolt, a man appeared in the middle of the ring – unaware of where he was or why.

He was wearing armour, looked exhausted and now, he sits on a bench, looking at the floor. His large axe sits beside him, keeping him company.

A voice suddenly interrupts his silence.

Chronoa ] “You don’t belong in this place.”

The man’s head slowly rises, showing his grizzled face.

Unknown ] “You are correct, but how would you know?”

She takes a careful seat beside him.

Chronoa ] “Old School Wrestling is an anomaly, in of itself. It shouldn’t exist. The way you arrived, neither should you. What’s your name, traveller?”

Nafalmgir ] “My name is Lord Nafalmgir of Castle Gar Ronen, sworn liege to the King Gempheon XVIII of Elsgardia.”

Chronoa nods.

Nafalmgir ] “I returned from the great war to find my castle in ruins and my family held captive by Gorgoranth. He told me that I must ascend the legendary 42 floors of his Dark Tower if I ever wanted to see them again. I remember each floor of that ascent, but floor 42 eludes my memory. That’s when I awoke here.”

The Harbinger of Fate stands up, stepping away.

Chronoa ] “I’m afraid that the answers you seek aren’t here, Nafalmgir.”

She says sternly.

Chronoa ] “For this place must be destroyed.”

Nafalmgir rises to his feet, reaching for his battle axe.

Nafalmgir ] “If Gorgoranth sent me here upon completion of the 42nd floor, then you’re wrong.”

Chronoa ] “You cannot fight Fate.

She slowly backs away.

Chronoa ] “What should have been will always be and if you were sent here, it wasn’t for answers – it was to be destroyed.”

Nafalmgir grimaces, screwing up his nose.

Nafalmgir ] “Never. I will never halt my quest to find them. If you wish to destroy this place, you will have to go through me.”

Chronoa ] “Very well.”

Cut.

 

 

 

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“A PIRATES LIFE FOR ME”
FEATURING
CORVUS & ISRAEL GRIMWOLF

Backstage, Israel Grimwolf swaggers down the halls, the hints of a smirk tugging at his pirate mouth. Suddenly he stops and the smile gets wider.

Israel Grimwolf ] “You don’t need to hide me hearty.”

Almost melting out of the shadows and into view, Corvus steps up to him.

Corvus ] “I don’t hide, Grimwolf. I watch. I watch and I take note.”

Israel Grimwolf ] “Oh, is that so. Well, matey, tell an old seafaring captain what notes you’ve noted this time.”

Corvus returns the smirk Grimwolf had on his face.

Corvus ] “Stop playing games, Israel. You’re the snake. You’re the one who took up Viper’s offer. I know it.”

Israel looks more bemused by this accusation than anything.

Israel Grimwolf ] “Well if you know it, then ol’ Israel Grimwolf is done for. Lock me in the brig and melt down the key for a tankard.”

Grimwolf offers his hands out in mock surrender.

Israel Grimwolf ] “No? It seems like the least thing you’d do would be to have some evidence before accusing me, landlubber.”

Corvus ] “You were uncharacteristically quiet last week, pirate. I’ve never seen your mouth closed for so long.”

Israel Grimwolf ] “Put or shut up, boy. What are you gonna do about it?”

Corvus isn’t smirking now. He squares up to Grimwolf.

Corvus ] “You’ve been sailing the seven seas for hundreds of years looking for loot to plunder, Grimwolf. You don’t take no for an answer, you just take what you want and forget anyone else. Well I’m looking for a bounty of my own, but my bounty isn’t gold or jewels. My bounty is the truth, and I won’t stop until I get it, even if it takes me across all seven seas. Until I get that truth, I’ll be sailing the good ship veracity.”

Corvus melts back into the shadows.

Corvus ] “Until then, it’s a pirates life for me…

Cut.

 

 

 

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CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
STEEL CAGE MATCH
Rewind Championship
TGK vs. SIR BELLATOR ©

Does someone’s beliefs give them the right to judge others? In Vayikra’s mind, Rainbow Party are feckless sinners yet the wounds of the attempted crucifixion are too fresh for The Generation Kid to listen to what this zealot has to say. Can the Generation Kid gain revenge for the brutality he and his friends have been put through or will Bellator finally make him a sacrifice to Yahweh?

The bell sounds as TGK rushes full force across the ring, driving Bellator into the steel mesh with a huge running dropkick to the jaw before mounting the fallen Bellator, raining down lefts after rights that the Templar can barely defend against

The frustration of what Vayikra’s done to TGK and his friends boiling over in the young mans mind as he peels Bellator up off the mat, gripping him by the mask

AND THROWING HIM FACE FIRST INTO THE STEEL MESH!

Bellator bounces off, groggy on his feet as TGK rushes forward

DOC BROWN’S….

BELLATOR SIDESTEPS IT AS TGK SPEARS THE CAGE WALL!

The Kid’s skull bounces off the steel as a small cut opens up on his forehead which Bellator makes even worse

WITH A BRUTAL SUPERKICK TO THE DOME!

TGK slams hard to the mat, as Bellator drops down, mounting TGK and paying him back with rights and lefts, trying to open up the cut on the Kid even more before lifting him up onto his shoulders

AND LAWN DARTING THE KID RIGHT INTO THE STEEL!

TGK crashes to the mat, blood dripping down his face as Bellator backs up, sizing up the Kid for a moment before rushing forward

STANDING SHOOTING STAR PRESS

RIGHT ON TGK’S GODDAMN FACE!

Bellator nearly crushes TGK’s skull there, his knees possibly breaking his nose even more as he casually covers the challenger

ONE

…………..

……………….

TW…TGK GETS THE SHOULDER UP! There’s still a ton of fight left in this Kid

Bellator gets to his feet, backing up as TGK slowly rises to his feet

SUPERKICK! That drops The Kid down to one knee as Bellator rolls back, looking to turn the wishes and dreams of TGK very dark indeed

KNEELING SUPER..THE KID CATCHES THE FOOT!

Bellator tries to get away as The Kid just stares daggers through the blood, delivering a brutal headbutt that paints that pink mask blood red before belowing

“NOBODY CALLS ME YELLOW!”

BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX!

TGK doesn’t cover, instead backing up as The Templer slowly gets up

DOC BROWN’S DELOREAN!

MASSIVE SPEAR NEARLY TURNS BELLATOR INSIDE OUT

But as Bellator goes down, TGK flips him around, bending him backwards with a Backslide Pinfall

SIR BELLATOR GETTING SENT BACK TO THE FUTURE WITH THE MCFLY TRILOGY!

The referee drops down for the pinfall attempt

ONE

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TWO

………………….

…………………….

THRE……

…………………..

NO! BELLATOR JUST GETS THE SHOULDER UP!

The Kid is fired up as he pounds down on Bellator with lefts and rights, The Templer managing to duck under a wild right as he rushes to the ropes

SUPERKICK! HAS NO GODDAMN EFFECT!

ANOTHER SUPERKICK! TGK begins shaking, he’s powering up, the full power of the 80’s flowing through his veins as he blocks a third Superkick and sends Bellator staggering back with a right hand, then a left.

Backing him into the ropes before sending him flying across the ring. Bellator rebounds off the ropes as TGK leaps up

WAX ON BELLATOR YOU ASSHOLE! CRANE KICK TO THE GODDAMN FACE!

That may well be it as TGK drops down for the cover

But the referee’s not counting, he’s distracted by two men on the outside

GODDAMN VAYIKRA ARE HERE TO TRY AND STEAL THE VICTORY AGAIN!

Sir Renault is arguing with the referee, trying to open the door as the referee blocks his way, Sir Vant is on the other side as he slips something into Bellator’s hand.

TGK is up as he turns the referee around, telling him there was a cover not noticing The Templar’s on his feet behind him as the Kid turns back around

INTO A CHAIN SHOT TO THE FACE!

The Kid drops to his knees, that wound even worse from the steel chain but Bellator isn’t done, wrapping the chain around his right arm before leaping up

AND LOCKING IN THE ARM OF GOD!

Bellator’s using that chain to try and rip TGK’s arm out of it’s socket, if not break the damn thing entirely but the Kid refuses to tap out, the power of the 80’s still flowing through his body as he lifts Bellator up into the air, the Templar still pulling his whole weight down on the arm

TGK RUSHES FORWARD, DELIVERING A MODIFIED POWERBOMB INTO THE TURNBUCKLES!

That loosens the grip but before Bellator lets go, he drags the chain with him

POP

The arena echoes with that sound as TGK screams in pain, that damn Bellator just pulled his shoulder out of the socket and that may well be the end here for the poor Kid.

Bellator rushes forward, ducking under a wild left before drilling TGK with a stiff enziguri to the back of the head. TGK drops down to his knees in a daze before he’s quickly lifted up high in the air, a sickening smile on the face of the Templar as he rushes forward

YAHWEH’S SIGN. RUNNING CRUCIFIX POWERBOMB

INTO THE FUCKING STEEL CAGE!

TGK crashes down in a heap on the canvas as that well could be it here, Bellator dropping down for the lackluster cover

ONE

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…………………

TWO

……………………

…………………….

………………………

TGK KICKS OUT!

There’s still fight in this Kid as Bellator just shakes his head, wondering what he has to do to end him before he grabs the fallen chain off the mat. The Templar wraps it around his fist, watching TGK as he slowly rises to his feet before rushing forward

RIGHT INTO AN EXCELLENT ADVENTURE

ROCK BOTTOM! ROCK BOTTOM!

That has to be it but TGK doesn’t cover, instead hearing the roar from the crowd he begins to slowly climb up the cage.

Ten Feet

Twenty Feet

Thirty Feet in the air

TGK slowly stands up, the crowd chanting his name as he feels the urge to jump into the zone

The Mother Fucking Danger Zone

TOP

GUN

SUPER

SPLASH!

TGK nails all of it on the prone Bellator, just managing to find the strength to stay down for the cover as the referee counts

ONE

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TWO

……………..

………………….

……………………

THREEE!!!

TGK does it, regaining the Rewind Championship in a sure highlight reel finish for the ages here.

 

WINNER AND NEW REWIND CHAMPION: THE GENERATION KID ©

 

 

 

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“WELCOME TO THE MASQUERADE”
FEATURING
KAINE KNIGHTLORD AND LUCY SERAPHINA

We open to a locker room with a large desk in it. The room is gothic in nature, dark red and black colouring on everything. At the desk we see Kaine Knightlord with a file in hand.

Kaine Knightlord ] “I see you’ve received my message.”

Lucy Seraphina

The Angelic Assassin looks less than pleased to be in the presence of the Dark Detective.

Lucy Serephina ] “Not that it really sounded like I had much of an option, Kaine.”

Kaine scoffs as he puts the folder down. The HellBat looks at Lucy from head to toe, taking in every detail as his cold eyes scan.

Kaine Knightlord ] “Your little stunt the last couple of weeks with Rasputin has caused me quite the headache.”

Lucy Serephina ] “I rather enjoyed myself. I dealt with a problem.”

Kaine rubs the bridge of his nose, frustration clearly written across his face at the Sovereign of Silence.

Kaine Knightlord ] “And I’ve been cleaning up after you, behind the scenes. I’ve had much more important matters to deal with than your little… violations.”

Lucy looks at him quizzically, unsure of what he means.

Lucy Serephina ] “What do you mean?”

Kaine Knightlord ] “Kindred, like you and me, have to live by a certain code. To keep outsiders from discovering our true nature. My job is to ensure this is the case, by any means necessary.”

Lucy looks insulted at his insinuation and slams her hands down on her desk, fangs bared in an attempt to intimidate Kaine. The Shadow Bat stands to his feet, towering over Serephina.

Lucy Serephina ] “I don’t need protection! You saw last week just how I can handle myself!”

Kaine Knightlord ] “I am not here to debate!”

Kaine roars, the red in his eyes glowing with fury.

Kaine Knightlord ] “I am not the worst thing that can happen to you, Childe. I am just your chance to get yourself out of the trouble you’re in, before worse comes. You will either work for me in sorting out another matter, or you’ll be left alone with a Blood Hunt. You choose.”

Lucy steps back for a moment, clearly the threat being made clear.

Kaine Knightlord ] “Am I understood?”

Lucy just nods as Kaine relaxes back into his chair.

Kaine Knightlord ] “Good. You have some use to my… bosses. You’ll help me, and you’ll be cleared of your debts to us.”

Lucy calms her own nerves, her steel returning.

Lucy Serephina ] “What do you need?”

Kaine slides the file he was looking at across the table.

Kaine Knightlord ] “These two have caught my attention recently, and I’d like your help to learn more.”

Lucy lifts the file, the sigil of the Odawara clan and the Tiger’s Nest monastery blazoned on the front. Lucy’s eyes glow and a smile creeps across her face as she opens it.

Cut

 

 

 

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“PRICE CHECK ON AISLE FIVE”
FEATURING
ALBIE SHAW & WIZ

Albert Shaw is walking through the supermarket.

No, that’s right. We’ve got bright lights, shiny labels, and an annoyed Guv’nor doing his shopping, his cart overflowing with beer, raw meat, and all the trimmings.

“Since when are you an errand boy?”

Shaw stops in his tracks as he enters an aisle, his eyes fixed on the man leaning on the shelf.

Wiz.

Wiz ] “Trip get to you that bad? You got the munchies now.”

Shaw rolls his eyes, and approaches Wiz with bad intentions.

Albert Shaw ] “Bad Mother Fuckers got to eat, too.”

Wiz ] “How do you feed a fire witch and a cyborg? I know what the Hollywood Prince needs, Simon gave me a little something he’ll like. Speaking of which, he’s got you in his sights now. I’m just keeping watch.”

Albie gets in breathing range of Wiz, looking him up and down.

Albert Shaw ] “Our beef is on sight, mate, but a lot of people might get bothered if I leave you bleeding all over the floor. So you got two choices. Move aside, let me get my crisps, and we’ll both leave on our feet. Or stay where you are, and I’m the only one walking out of here.”

Wiz takes a pregnant pause to consider it, before scrunching his face and looking at the shelf.

Wiz ] “What the fuck are crisps?”

WHAM! WIZ LEVELS ALBIE SHAW WITH A STIFF RIGHT HAND!

PATRONS RUN ACROSS THE CORNER, GASPING AT THE DISPLAY OF VIOLENCE!

Wiz just grins and shrugs.

Wiz ] “Price check for a dumbass on aisle five!”

A clerk runs around the corner, looking at Wiz like he’s insane as the Purple Pelican lifts up Shaw. The Guv’nor punches Wiz in the gut, doubling him over.

Albert Shaw ] “Gonna have to try harder than that, mate.”

Grabbing a mobile out of his pocket, Shaw grins at the clerk.

Albert Shaw ] “Let me make a quick call, and I’ll take the trash out for you. No charge.”

He looks down at Wiz, who is ready to fight some more. Shaw’s smile grows even bigger.

Albert Shaw ] “Oh yeah, the Bad Mother Fuckers are about to eat real good.”

Cut.

 

 

 

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“WHAT REMAINS”
FEATURING
THE IMPALER

Far removed from the confines of The Slaughterhouse, we find ourselves in the ruins of what appears to be a once-great city.

There are glimpses of its former glory, faded signs that reveal small peeks at what used to be.

Suddenly, we hear footsteps from the distance intruding on the slumber of this rusted ghost town.

The Impaler.

Looking around this shell of a metropolis, a mixture of both confusion and concern is evident on Legion’s face as he approaches one of these faded signs. Even beneath the layers of dirt and grime, there’s enough legible text to discern his whereabouts.

Night City.

Or at least, what remains.

The hustle and bustle was gone from this place a long time ago, a secret kept by The Impaler for what feels like an eternity.

A secret that could very well come back to haunt him.

As the Dread Pirate Roberts of Pro Wrestling continues to traverse this cityscape, he finds himself replaying Chronoa’s final words to him at ReVolt.

Chronoa ] “Night City will come blowing back into your life once more…”

Legion cannot quite figure out what that means, but he does know one thing for certain.

The Impaler ] “If there’s something to face, better to face it at the source.”

He moves onward, eventually reaching the power plant…run down, quiet, without so much as a sign of life inside as he pushes the door open with a creak. Taking a peek upon entry, he mutters but a single word.

The Impaler ] “Blackout.”

The place where it all began.

A turning point for The Impaler.

And a secret that cannot be revealed.

Even by fate.

Cut.

 

 

 

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CHAMPIONSHIP MATCHES
TABLES, LADDERS, AND CHAIRS
JET SET RADIO vs. BAD MOTHER FUCKERS ©

Ether is forced to remember the old adage of be careful what you use for as Pyre is out of jail and ready to continue making the world burn starting with the hungry woman. Will she burn Jet Set Radio to mere embers or will she become the one to starve without gold? Its BMF versus JSR in a TLC match for the tag titles! What team will walk out champions? We find out next!

DING!

DING!

This match starts off hot as Jet Set Radio rush the tag champs with studio dropkicks! Zero is sent back into the corner as Pyre rolls out of the ring! Ether gets on her hands and knees as a base for her partner! Tag would normally be thinking about doing something else when someone presents themselves like that but he sprints and launches off her back! He nails Zero with a jumping knee strike!

ZERO SLOUCHES INTO A SEATED POSITION!

TAG GOES TO THE WELL ONCE MORE!

HE LAUNCHES OFF ETHER AND FLIPS INTO A CANNONBALL!

NO!

PYRE TOSSES A CHAIR INTO THE RING AND NAILS TAG!

ICARUS’S CRASH LANDING!

TAG IS DOWN!

ZERO PULLS HIMSELF UP AND PICKS UP TAG BY THE THROAT!

CHOKESLAM ON ETHER’S BACK!

Pyre grabs a ladder and slides it into the ring! She slides into the ring after it and Zero helps her set it up in the middle of the ring! They have it set and both start climbing the ladder! Are they going to grab their belts this quick? They’ve made it to the top and both start reaching!

ETHER SHOVES THE LADDER!

ZERO CRASHES TO THE MAT HARD!

PYRE HOLDS ONTO A BELT AND IS HANGING ON FOR DEAR LIFE!

SHE USES THE BELT TO SWING MIDAIR AND LETS GO!

SHE SPINS MIDAIR AND CATCHES ETHER WITH A STUNNER!

DANCING FLAMES!

HOW IN THE HELL DID SHE HIT THAT ECLIPSE?!

Pyre is smiling that wicked smile! She’s proud of her handiwork there! Her pride is short lived though as Tag blasts her with a running elbow strike! He starts stomping away on her! Stomp! Stomp! Stomp! He’s interrupted by a club to the back! What a strike by Zero! Zero whips Tag into the ropes! Tag handsprings into the ropes and rebounds into a moonsault! No! Zero catches him midair and plants him with a running powerslam!

ZERO PICKS HIM UP AND HOISTS TAG ON HIS SHOULDERS!

HE’S TRYING TO POWERBOMB HIM OUT OF THE RING!

NO!

TAG COUNTERS WITH A HURRICANRANA!

ZERO IS SENT THROUGH THE ROPS OUT THE RING!

TAG RUNS THE ROPES!

SUICIDE DIVE DDT!

HE SPIKES ZERO ON THE FLOOR BUT HOW MUCH DID THAT TAKE OUT OF HIM?

All four competitors are down and reeling! Tag pulls himself up and is trying to figure out what to do next! He grabs a table and slides it into the ring! He hops to the apron and steps in between the ropes! He’s interrupted with a punt to the face from Pyre! He’s hanging out to dry and she pulls him in! He’s hanging with his feet on the ropes! Corkscrew neckbreaker by Pyre! Pyre grabs the table and leans it against the corner!

PYRE PULLS UP TAG AND LEANS HIM AGAINST THE TABLE!

SHE BACKS UP INTO THE OPPOSITE CORNER!

SHE CHARGES!

POUNCE!

SHE’S INTERRUPTED BY A POUNCE FROM ETHER!

TAG PULLS HIMSELF OFF THE TABLE AND PULLS PYRE UP!

HE HAS HER IN A RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP POSITION!

HE NODS AT ETHER!

SHE SPRINTS AND NAILS PYRE WITH A METEORA!

METEORA/RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP COMBINATION THROUGH THE TABLE!

MACH SIX!

This might be Jet Set Radio’s best chance at the title! Tag and Ether both set up the ladder in the middle of the ring! They are climbing it but not as fast as Zero and Pyre were earlier! They are making it up there though! Slowly but surely they have made it to the top! Their fingers are touching gold!

IS THIS IT?!

THEY’RE UNHOOKING THE BELTS!

AFTER ALL THESE MONTHS, DO WE HAVE NEW TAG CHAMPS?!

NO!

GOOZLED!

THEY DIDN’T SEE ZERO SET A SECOND LADDER NEXT TO THEM!

DOUBLE CHOKESLAM OFF THE LADDER!

ZERO IS THERE AT THE TOP ALONE!

HE JUMPS THE THE FIRST LADDER TO HAVE A BETTER CHANCE GRABBING THEM!

HE’S REACHING!

DESPERATE UPKICK FROM TAG TO THE LADDER!

THE LADDER FALLS AND ZERO FALLS ONTO IT!

NASTY LANDING!

This match goes on! Pyre pulls herself up and grabs a broken wood shard! She stands over Ether and is not focused on winning the match right now! “Did you like visiting me there? There’s no plastic wall to protect you now bitch!” She drives the table wedge into Ether’s forehead! She’s cutting Ether open the hard way! It’s not a shank but it sure is a reminder who Ether is messing with!

PYRE DRAGS THE LADDER STILL STANDING INTO THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!

SHE STARTS CLIMBING UP!

ETHER RUBS HER FOREHEAD AND LICKS THE BLOOD OFF HER FINGERS!

SHE LAUGHS AND CLIMBS UP THE OTHER SIDE OF THE LADDER!

THEY BOTH MAKE IT TO THE TOP AND THEY’RE TRADING PUNCHES!

BOTH ARE THROWING VICIOUS RIGHTS AS THE CROWD CHEERS FOR ETHER AND BOOS PYRE!

YAY! BOO! YAY! BOO! YAY! BOO!

TAG HAS CLIMBED BEHIND PYRE!

ZERO HAS CLIMBED BEHIND ETHER!

BACKSTABBER TO PYRE!

CPU DRIVER TO ETHER!

HE NAILS THE BURNING HAMMER OFF THE LADDER!

HOLY SHIT!

Pyre and Ether are both down and Tag and Zero look at each other! They know it’s their turn! They rush up the ladder! Tag is up there a little bit quicker than Zero and throwing down some punches! Zero grabs the back of Tag’s head and smashes it into the top of the ladder! He pulls himself to the top!

TAG LOOKS BACK UP AND ZERO IS NOW LEVEL WITH HIM!

THEY’RE STARING DAGGERS AT EACH OTHER!

THEY BOTH KNOW THIS IS WHERE IT ENDS AND SO DOES THE CROWD!

RAPID ELBOWS FROM TAG!

UPPERCUT FROM ZERO!

HEADBUTT FROM TAG!

BIONIC ELBOW FROM ZERO!

THAT ROCKED TAG!

ABSOLUTE ZERO!

BIONIC CHOKESLAM OFF THE LADDER!

THIS IS IT!

ZERO REACHES UP AND GRABS THE TITLES!

HE HAS DONE IT FOR HIS TEAM!

What a brutal match but Zero has made sure BMF are still champions against a very game Jet Set Radio!

 

WINNER AND STILL CHAMPIONS:
BAD MOTHERFUCKERS ©

 

 

 

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“UNDER THE BIG TOP”
FEATURING
NIGHTMARE ACADEMY

The Toy Box.

SeeSaw walks among his many torturous toys, making himself busy.

“Come one. Come all.”

Mr. Make Believe turns as a voice whispers on the wind. But as he does, the world vanishes around him. First darkness, then a giant tent stretches up and around him.

Like a circus.

Under the Big Top, SeeSaw looks around at the different displays. With no surprise in his eyes, he finds Phineas Moody floating next to him.

Phineas Moody ] “Quite an ambitious set of acts you’ve assembled, my boy.”

He gestures, and we see various toys moving around as mere shadows, each one a reminder of SeeSaw’s victims.

Phineas Moody ] “I once had my own impressive circus. Out of the shadows, I plucked people from the outskirts of society. I raised them up to impressive heights.”

SeeSaw’s toys stop moving, as does Moody. Carnevil peers down into SeeSaw’s eyes.

Phineas Moody ] “That’s the difference between you and I, Andrew Fish. SeeSaw. Whatever you are.”

He gestures to the shadowy figures around them.

Phineas Moody ] “People will never truly fear your monstrosities. You took people, deformed them, twisted them, and made them be what you wanted them to be. False constructs. Capable of destruction, yes. But they will never haunt a man’s dreams.”

SeeSaw walks through the shadowed mist, his face scrunched in rage.

SeeSaw ] “Don’t you dare talk about my toys like that! They’re works of art!”

Moody nods, gesturing around them.

Phineas Moody ] “Works, indeed. Look upon my menagerie, boy!”

Out of the shadows, we see pale shades appear. A bearded lady. Conjoined twins. Deformed men. Broken women. Sad children.

Phineas Moody ] “Can’t you see? This is what men fear. Those who are different, who are more than their preconceived notions of humanity. A long as you make it a show, they will laugh and watch in wonder. But the moment you try to make them equals, the mask comes off.”

SeeSaw’s face paint seemingly vanishes, leaving his pale face bare.

Phineas Moody ] “Men are men. There is no covering that up, Fish. Do you understand?”

The face of Andrew Fish looks up at the floating Phineas Moody. Rage burns in his eyes, so deep that you’d become lost in them if you stared long enough.

SeeSaw ] “I do. No matter what I do, they come for me. Out of concern, hatred, or even pity. They want to save me, but if they’re not trying to enslave me, then they’re trying to kill me.”

Moody smiles, and the facepaint once again reappears on SeeSaw’s face.

Phineas Moody ] “They always will. Death is the only acceptable end for the ambitious sideshow. But that’s only the beginning of the journey. There is much for you to learn, SeeSaw. Your show will continue…”

With a flash Phineas Moody, the shades, and the entire Big Top vanish. SeeSaw is left alone in his Toy Box.

The rage still burning in his eyes.

Cut.

 

 

 

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“SECRETS”
FEATURING
VIPER ROBERTS, THE SANDMAN & MORDECAI

The Snake Pit.

Viper Roberts paces back and forward inside his office, surrounded by people in black coloured luchador masks. Their identity is clearly being kept secret from each other, even though Viper knows who they are.

Viper Roberts ] “We have a problem.”

He continues pacing.

Viper Roberts ] “The Sandman claims to know the truth. He claims to know how it all began and I simply cannot abide that. Something has to be done.”

[ Masked Employee #1 ] “With all due respect, The Sandman is a supernatural entity, boss. I’m not sure we can stop him.”

The Head Snake stops dead in his tracks, whipping his head around.

Viper Roberts ] “Excuse me?

Gulp.

He approaches, standing before the masked individual as the others back away, giving them space.

Viper Roberts ] “What did you say?”

[ Masked Employee #1 ] “I’m sorry sir, I’m so very sorry. Please accept my sincerest and most heartfelt apologies for speaking out of turn.”

Roberts frowns.

Viper Roberts ] “I’ve never called a meeting like this before. I’ve not once risked the identities of my snakes for a problem of any magnitude. The fact that you’re stood before me speaks volumes, does it not?”

The masked man nods.

SLASH.

Blood suddenly spurts into the face of Roberts who backs away in a panic – only the blood isn’t red, it’s a dark green – almost black. He clutches at his face, pawing the blood away in horror.

The masked man’s body falls, blood spewing everywhere, to reveal The Sandman stood ominously behind him with a knife.

The Sandman ] “I see everything.”

He lunges forward.

Gasp.

Viper Roberts awakens in a sweat, realizing that Mordecai now sits next to him.

Mordecai ] “Your secret won’t be kept forever.”

The Head Snake gulps.

Viper Roberts ] “What do you know of my secret?”

Mordecai ] “Nothing – only that if he knows it, you’re in trouble.”

Viper Roberts ] “I need to stop him.”

Mordecai stands up and walks towards the door, turning to look at a distraught Roberts.

Mordecai ] “Then perhaps we have a common ground.”

He exits, leaving Viper to smiley wryly.

Cut.

 

 

 

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“ASSISTANCE REQUIRED ON AISLE SIX”
FEATURING
JET SET RADIO & BAD MOTHER FUCKERS

We’re back at a familiar supermarket, where quite a swaray of action has unfolded.

People seem to be avoiding one particular aisle of the shop.

A somewhat panicked announcement comes over the PA system, the young clerk’s voice breaking as he speaks.

Clerk ] “Assistance Required… Aisle Six! Assistance Required!”

The tango between Wiz and Albert Shaw has spilled out over to the next aisle, a trail of crushed packets of crisps (whatever they are) and biscuits behind them. The voice announces a second time.

Clerk ] “Assistance Required on Aisle…”

That’s when a pair of figures appear out of the chaos that has surrounded them.

Pyre ] “Assistance is here…”

Pyre and Zero appear, Zero pocketing a cellphone as he walks forward to support Albert Shaw with a wink. The trio grab Wiz and force him up against a shelf, spilling toilet paper packets to the floor.

Zero ] “Needing the cavalry to save your ass, Alby?”

His comment is interrupted by another voice, as a crumpled packet of crisps is tossed from the floor into view.

Ether ] “What the fuck are these?”

BAM!

ZERO IS BLINDSIDED BY A CHARGING ETHER! THE DISTRACTION GAVE HER A CLEAN SHOT!

WHAM!

PYRE IS DROPPED BY AN INCOMING TAG!

JET SET RADIO HAS DROPPED THOSE BAD MOTHER FUCKERS!

Albert Shaw still has Wiz pressed up against the shelf.

Ether and Tag are both laying into bMf!

The patrons of the supermarket, who were once looking on with bemused interest are now beginning to back away. The clerk’s voice walls for assistance once more, but is completely drowned out…

This is getting outta hand!

Cut.

 

 

 

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CHAMPIONSHIP MATCHES
SIX PACK CHALLENGE
VHS CHAMPIONSHIP
HOLLYWOOD LUKE STORM © vs. CAEL GABLE vs. CORVUS vs. DEATHNOTE vs. SIGIL vs. SIMON

Who will prove to possess the sixth sense required to walk away with the gold!?

Black-and-white stripes holds the VHS Championship above his head for all to see and salivate over.
Handing it to ringside personnel, he calls for the bell.

DING, DING, DING!

All six men step forwards, their eyes darting from side to side warily. Five sets of eyes, however, come to rest on the VHS Champion, Luke Storm.
Pale and sweaty, The Icon nevertheless smirks and shakes his head.

Ah, shit – here we go…

LUKE CHARGES INTO SIMON!

HE TACKLES HIM TO THE MAT AND STARTS BLASTING HIM!

The remaining challengers lay the boots into Storm—who doesn’t relent—before turning on each other in the fracas.

GOOOLD RUSH!

CAEL RUSHES DEATHNOTE WITH A SPEAR RIGHT OUT OF THE GATE!

Eager to prove his mettle following their exchange at Fuck The World, the Olympian goes to town on the scribe.

Meanwhile…

THROAT THRUST!

PALM STRIKE!

CORVUS CATCHES SIGIL OUT AGAIN, SIZING HIM UP FOR THE LEAPING ELBOW STRIKE…

MURDER OF—NO!

C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKING HEADBUTT BY SIGIL!

The Collector stuns the assassin with his metal mask…

FINITE ROUNDHOUSE KICK TO THE JAW!

Corvus hits the mat, and Sigil gets to work.

Elsewhere…

MONKEY FLIP BY SIMON!

The Taskmaster kicks the reigning VHS Champion off of him.
Luke scrambles to his feet—

ONLY TO FALL TO HIS KNEES!

Standing over Storm, the smug intellectual chuckles.

Feeling a little woozy, Champ?” He asks.

HE SLAPS A SIDE HEADLOCK ON HIM, THEN CHARGES INTO THE CORNER…

BULLDOG INTO THE TURNBUCKLE – TOOORRE ATTACK!

Noting his opponents’ preoccupations, Simon sneakily hooks the leg.

ONE!

TWO!!

NEW CHAMPION!?

GABLE BREAKS IT UP!

The gold medalist pulls Simon off of Storm—

RIGHT INTO HIS PATENTED REAR NAKED CHOKE!

SILENCE IS GOLDEN!

Didn’t see that coming, didja, genius!?

SIMON IS QUICKLY FADING…

CAEL IS GOING TO SUBMIT HIM—

UNTIL A MERCIFUL CHOP TO THE BACK OF HIS NECK PUTS A STOP TO IT!

SIGIL LOOMS OVER HIM!

You proved useful at ReVolt, but this is my gold medal.

He covers him.

ONE!

TWO!!

WILL HE ADD THE VHS TITLE TO HIS COLLECTION!?

KISS OF FREAKIN’ DEATH!

DEATHNOTE CHANGES THE ENDING WITH A DIVING DOUBLE FOOT STOMP!

The man who, by rights, had the four-on-four won for his team gets a measure of revenge!

He races into a pin.

ONE!

IF HE WINS—

TWO!!

CAN HE BEAT HIS 197-DAY REWIND TITLE REIGN!?

SNIKT!!!

Aaarrrggghhh!

DEATHNOTE ROLLS OFF OF SIGIL—

A THROWING DAGGER STICKS OUT OF HIS SIDE!

Pulling the blade out and discarding it, he looks up—

PELÉ KICK – THE CORVUS KICK!

The Crow swoops down into a cover.

ONE!

TWO!!

WILL THE BLACK HAND RAISE THE GOLD!?

NO – HOLLYWOOD LUKE STORM HITS A HOLLYWOOD LEG DROP!

The sickly Champion gets to his feet, sweat beading off of him and onto the canvas.
Simon, Gable, and Sigil have since recovered – all of whom now stare him down.

Luke puts up his dukes.

Well, what are ya waitin’ for, ladies?

Cael advances on him—

LIGHTNING… DOESN’T STRIKE!

STORM COLLAPSES BEFORE THE SUPERKICK CAN CONNECT!

Gable quickly heaves him up…

STALLING SUPLEX!

1, 2, 3, 4, 5 – The Slaughterhouse crowd counts how long he can keep him up there.

HERE COMES THE CUTTER—

PUGHPLEX!?

NO – STORM LANDS ON HIS FEET!

Cael spins round…

DOWNPOU—DENIED!

SIGIL INTERRUPTS THE CODEBREAKER!

HE BENDS LUKE BACKWARDS OVER HIS KNEE!

ELBOW, ELBOW, FUCKING ELBOW!

IT’S ALREADY BEEN A LONG ROAD FOR STORM, BUT HE CAN’T LOOK AHEAD YET!

The Realm Walker passes him back to Gable—

GERMAN SUPLEX!

Eins, zwei, drei, vier, fünf, sechs, sieben, acht, neun – ZEHN!

TEN—COUNT ‘EM, TEN—GERMAN SUPLEXES – 10-KARAT!

Having been biding his time, Simon strikes—

SPINNING BACKFIST – THE GAMBIT SACRIFICES SIGIL!

KNEE TREMBLER – THE CATALAN OPENING CHECKS GABLE!

As if being poisoned weren’t enough of an advantage, The Taskmaster has an incapacitated Luke Storm right where he wants him.
Rather than pin him off of others’ handiwork, though, he wants bragging rights; grabbing his leg, he spins round—

FIGURE FOUR LEGLOCK!

CHECKMA—DEATHNOTE SCOOPS HIM UP ONTO HIS SHOULDERS!

SIMON KICKS AND STRUGGLES FRANTICALLY…

GO 2 SLEEP – THE AUTHOR OF DEATH GATHERS HIS SOUL!

Undone by his own hubris, Simon twitches flat on his back.

Deathnote rises—

HE INSTINCTIVELY DUCKS!

THUNK!

A THROWING KNIFE IMPALES THE TOP TURNBUCKLE PAD!

He turns to look at The Hidden Blade, Corvus, who laughs.

You and I could do this forever…” He muses.

The former partners, known as Creeping Death, face off.

BLACK HAND’S BLA—SANDBAGGED!

Grabbing the top rope, Deathnote avoids the RKO. Corvus darts back to his feet—

DEATHNOTE HOISTS HIM UP ON HIS SHOULDERS!

THE GOD OF THE NEW WORLD MEANS TO BRING CORVUS INTO A WORLD OF PAIN!

Make a wish!” He taunts.

BUUURNIIING HAMMEEERRR – DEATHNOTE GRANTS CORVUS HIS DYING WISH!

He makes a deep hook.

ONE!

TWO!!

BUT CAN DEATHNOTE GET HIS WISH!?

TWO-POINT-NINE!!!

He runs his hands through his hair in disbelief.

Deathnote gets to his feet, motioning for Corvus to do the same – but they’re soon joined by Sigil, Gable, and Simon.

The exhausted challengers circle one another warily, the VHS title glistening and winking at each of them from ringside.

ALL FIVE MEN THROW DOWN IN A FRENZY OF FISTS!

… FIVE MEN!?

THIS IS A SIX PACK CHALLENGE!

Amidst the melee, the VHS Champion himself, Luke Storm, flops through the ropes and onto the apron. Pulling himself up, he forces his foot onto the middle turnbuckle, willing himself to climb.
Scaling the ropes, the bad Mother fucker looks to the heavens, as his opponents turn to see…

THUUUNDEEEEEERRRRRR!!!

THE TOP-ROPE MOONSAULT CLEARS HOUSE!

TANGLED LIMBS AND BODIES ON TOP OF BROKEN BODIES!

Luke crawls off the pile, clutching his ribs, sick as a dog.

THIS IS ANYONE’S FOR THE TAKING!

THE FIELD IS CLEAR!

Storm drags himself up, drenched in sweat and trembling.

Simon is the first challenger to his feet!

LUKE DOUBLES HIM OVER WITH A KICK TO THE GUT!

STUNNER!?

GALE FOR—NO!

THE WINDS CHANGE DIRECTION, AS SIMON SHOVES LUKE OFF!

STORM TURNS ROUND—

SIMON GOES TO SWEEP HIS LEGS…

SUNSET FLIP!

LUKE FLIPS OVER HIM, PINNING HIM!

ONE!

IT’S A DESPERATION PIN BY A POISONED STORM!

TWO!!

THE CHAMP TO RETAIN AGAINST ALL ODDS!?

THREEE!!!

Luke Storm continues his reign!

 

WINNER AND STILL VHS CHAMPION:
LUKE STORM ©

 

 

 

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“SIR”
FEATURING
VAYIKRA & THE RAINBOW PARTY

Pitch Black.

The arena is suddenly thrust into darkness.

Luke Storm has barely escaped the action with his Championship!

When the lights come back on, Sir Bellator and Sir Renault are stood in the middle of the ring!

THEY GO STRAIGHT ON THE ATTACK!

Renault drives Sigil into the corner, delivering shoulder barges to his mid-section as Bellator tackles Deathnote to the canvas, doing the same. Sir Vant meanwhile slides steel chairs into the ring, beneath the bottom rope.

Vayikra gather them up.

CHAIRSHOT TO SIGIL AS HE STUMBLES OUT OF THE CORNER!

CHAIRSHOT TO DEATHNOTE AS HE GETS BACK TO HIS FEET!

The fans can’t believe it.

Just then, they have a reason to cheer.

IT’S THE RAINBOW PARTY!

The Generation Kid, Starboy and Vigour storm down the entrance ramp and slide under the bottom rope. They immediately come toe to toe with Vayikra, who have their equalisers in hand.

The Generation Kid ] “The odds aren’t in your favour. Back off!”

Vayikra look at one another.

Sir Renault ] “Carry each other’s burdens and so you will fulfil the law of Christ.”

Sir Bellator ] “Galatians 6:2”

The Rainbow Party have no idea what that means. Vigour looks at Starboy, who looks at The Generation Kid and they all shrug.

Sir Renault ] “Rise, Sir.”

Pitch Black.

The entire arena is thrust into darkness once again!

This time, when the lights come back on, Vayikra aren’t alone.

They still stand opposite The Rainbow Party with steel chairs in hand, only there’s now someone stood behind them, wearing a red version of Bellator and Renaults.

CHAIR SHOT TO THE BACK OF VIGOURS SKULL!

BELLATOR LUNGES AT THE GENERATION KID!

WHAM!

RENAULT TAKES OUT STARBOY!

THE RAINBOW PARTY HAVE BEEN DECIMATED!

All three members of Vayikra start slamming steel chairs down on The Rainbow Party, beating the holy hell out of them with every single shot.

Finally, the red Sir walks over to Deathnote and places the chair under his throat, pulling him back to his feet.

Sir ] “You should’ve told me what I wanted to know.”

WHAM!

HE SLAMS DEATHNOTE CHAIR AND THROAT DOWN ONTO THE CANVAS, JARRING THE CHAIR RIGHT INTO HIS FUCKING GULLET!

As Deathnote writhes in agony, the Unknown Sir takes off his mask

IT’S CAEL GABLE!

CAEL GABLE HAS JOINED VAYIKRA!

He stands aligned with Bellator and Renault, mask in hand, watching on as Sir Vant claps enthusiastically at ringside.

Cut.

 

 

 

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“BUSHIDO”
FEATURING
BANZAN AND TENCHU

Previously Recorded

After ReVolt

Tenchu is in front of a shrine with the Odawara clan symbol. The weight of his loss clearly weighing on his mechanical shoulders.

Tenchu ] “I have failed you, Sensei. All your training, all your programming, and yet I am not what you envisioned all those years ago.”

From the entrance enters a mountain of a man.

Banzan

Banzan ] “I know what would have been the answer. Seppuku would have been the punishment for the crimes you’ve committed and the dishonour you have brought upon your clan.”

Tenchu doesn’t turn around but relaxes his position a bit as he takes in what Banzan has to say.

Tenchu ] “You’re right. But what do you get out of this? You won. You beat me, is watching me end it all just icing on the cake?”

Banzan ] “Hardly. I saw what you were meant to be when I studied the Odawara. Their reputation was known, even in my monastery. So, seeing how far you’ve fallen from your promise is bothersome.

Banzan approaches Tenchu, placing a hand on the Metal Shadow’s shoulder.

Banzan ] “I’d rather see you become that which your clan envisioned you to be. I’d rather see you as the warrior you were meant to be. I can help, if you so choose.”

Tenchu lowers his head for a moment, contemplating the offer. He nods and stands to his feet.

Banzan ] “Good. Your re-training begins now.

Banzan and Tenchu leave the shrine, discussing what lies ahead, making sure to show the respect to the shrine.

Out of the shadows, Kaine appears. He watches the two, making sure his presence isn’t noticed by the others.

Cut

 

 

 

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“RESTOCKING AISLE SEVEN”
FEATURING
LUKE STORM & SIMON

The Supermarket.

It’s an all out war going on in this once quaint grocery store as Wiz dukes it out with Pyre, Tag is grappling with Shaw, and Ether is trading blows with Zero!

The front entrance dings as another man enters! Grabbing his stomach and clenching his teeth, Luke Storm half runs half limps towards the brawl!

He leans against one of the shelves, taking a breather as he looks sick to his stomach!

Hollywood Luke Storm ] “What the fuck is going on. Why am I still-”

Ding.

Another man enters the store and Storm turns around-

NARROWLY DODGING A KNEE TREMBLER FROM SIMON!

He rolls out of the way and stumbles to his feet, staring down the smirking Simon as the Taskmaster looks towards the fight.

Simon ] “Having troubles again, Luke? Did the cure not work like you thought it would? Silly me, I suppose I only gave you a partial dose. Should keep you alive for now, though.”

He chuckles, walking up to Storm and grabbing him by the hair! He nails Storm with a harsh headbutt that drops him to a knee!

Simon ] “Alive if I don’t get done with you first.”

Simon reaches down to grab Luke again-

AND GETS A PICKLE JAR TO THE DOME! SIMON STUMBLES BACK AND STORM UNLEASHES A LIGHTNING STRIKE TO THE JAW! SUPERKICK!

Simon gets tossed into a wall of crisps!

Whatever those are.

He collapses down as Storm steadies himself.

Hollywood Luke Storm ] “We need a restock on aisle seven! We’re running low on fucks to give.”

Cut.

 

 

 

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THE MAIN EVENT
TWO FALL, TWO CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
OSW World Championship
Double Feature Championship
THE SANDMAN © vs. ISRAEL GRIMWOLF © vs. VIPER ROBERTS

For the first time in OSW history, Double Jeopardy is upon us. Two Championships, Three competitors and the chance to walk out holding gold on both shoulders. Will the Terror of the Deep regain his world championship, will the Dream Demon steal a double feature along the way or will the Head Snake sneak in and take everything away?

“Black Sails,” hits the p.a. system, the fiddle and bass just getting started as deep blue lights swim across the slaughterhouse.

As the music swells and the chorus joins in, Captain Israel Grimwolf slowly descends from the ceiling upon a massive anchor of blackened iron. He looks out at the crowd, a toothy smile from the Terror of the Deep. The Captain holds his arms out wide, and falls off the anchor, tucking and rolling as he hits the mat. He stands, arms wide to accept the crowds praises, and steps into his corner to await the bell’s ring.

Electric guitar.

Reach Out, Touch Faith.

BANG!

A huge explosion erupts at the top of the ramp from which Viper Roberts suddenly appears with his head bowed. He looks up slowly with a shit-eating grin before scanning the room through his silver locks.

The lights flicker from red, to yellow, to orange as he descends upon the the ring; almost as if he’s walking through a fiery inferno. Once in the ring, he stands dead centre with his arms stretched out, but he doesn’t notice Grimwolf rushing up behind him

LARIAT TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD!

Roberts crumples to the mat as Israel begins kicking the absolute shit of him, the referee quickly calling for the bell for a premature start to this contest.

Grimwolf pulls up the groggy Roberts, drilling him with a pair of hard knees to the midsection before whipping him across the ring. Grimwolf drops down a little early on an attempted backdrop though, allowing Roberts to nail a leaping knee lift to the jaw

SWINGING NECKBREAKER! Grimwolf is stunned as Roberts quickly pulls him back to his feet, looking to drive him back down to the mat

ODE TO…ISRAEL SLIPS OUT! Grimwolf slides back, nodding his head before urging Roberts to come try that shit again.

THE LIGHTS GO OUT!

”EXIT LIGHT!”

Pitch-black darkness engulfs The Slaughterhouse, as Metallica’s Enter Sandman kicks in.

“ENTER NIGHT!”

The nightmarish Sandman looms into view on the stage, blinking in and out of sight by the light of camera flashes.

“TAKE MY HAND, WE’RE OFF TO NEVER-NEVERLAND!”

The Dream Demon glides to the ring, to the sound of crunching guitars. He steps over the top rope…

LEAPING LARIAT TO THE JAW! Grimwolf nails Sandman out of nowhere, as both he and Viper swarm the world champion and begin beating the shit out of him with kicks and stomps to the prone Dream Demon.

Grimwolf pulls Sandman up as the two circle around, drilling him with lefts and rights before a stiff headbutt from the Terror staggers back Sandman. Grimwolf lifts him up into the air by his legs as Roberts grabs him by the head.

ASSISTED ODE TO SNAKE! ELEVATED DDT!

Neither man cover, knowing they need a lot more than that to put down Sandman as Grimwolf pulls him up once more

GOOZLE! The Sandman has a lot more fight in him as Grimwolf struggles to escape, clawing at the Sandman’s sides before delivering hard rabbit punches to the ribs but they barely affect the angry Sandman who looks to plant Israel right through the damn mat

BELT AROUND THE THROAT!

Viper wraps that snakeskin around Sandman’s throat, pulling him back forcibly just enough to loosen the grip as Grimwolf flips out, drilling the Dream Demon with a stiff kick to the jaw in the process. Sandman turns his attention to Roberts, pulling him in with the belt but as he tries to Goozle the Head Snake

KEEHAULED TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD!

Sandman is stunned, Roberts pulling back the belt as he wraps it around his right hand while both men lift up the Dream Demon’s arms

DEAD DEMON’S CHEST! DOUBLE HEART PUNCH!

That very well could be it for the Sandman but as he collapses to the mat, Roberts tries to drop down for the cover but he’s pushed back by Grimwolf as the two begin to argue about trying to steal the first fall here.

Not noticing Sandman’s sat up on the mat.

The Dream Demon watches the arguing pair for a moment, before getting to one knee as he reaches for that bag of sand, his nuclear option

It’s not there

The Sandman frantically looks around, hands patting everywhere while his eyes scan the entire canvas on where it could be before he looks up

At the shit eating grin on Israel Grimwolf, who dangles the bag above the Sandman’s head.

“Looking for this matey?”

BEFORE THROWING BLUE SAND INTO SANDMAN’S FACE! Will it even affect the Dream Demon?

The Sandman looks furious, quickly rushing to his feet as he grips Grimwolf by the throat,

TO S…SANDMAN’S HAND DROPS IN MID-AIR!

That paralysing agent slowly sinking in as The Sandman drops to his knees, his muscles seizing up as he’s a helpless target for the two looming above him.

Payback’s a bitch mother fucker as the Sandman’s getting a taste of his own sandy medicine.

Grimwolf and Viper swarm the Sandman, absolutely brutalizing him with kicks and punches, lifting him up onto his feet

KEEHAULED! Roaring Elbow nearly breaks the Dream Demon’s jaw as Roberts doesn’t let him fall, wrapping his arms around the neck

SNAKE BITE!

That very well could be it but neither man want to just pin The Sandman here, they want to end him and make this a one on one contest. Roberts rolls out of the ring, looking under the ring for something as Grimwolf lifts up the limp Sandman, slowly pulling him to the corner and up the ropes.

Israel has the Sandman up on the top rope as Roberts pulls out what he’s looking for

A GODDAMN METAL TABLE!

Roberts sets it up on the outside before climbing up to the apron as Grimwolf lifts The Sandman up

DOUBLE GOOZLE!

CHOKESLAM

THROUGH

THE

FUCKING

TABLE!

BY GOD THE SANDMAN HAS BEEN BROKEN IN HALF!

Both Grimwolf and Roberts look down at their handiwork and smile as Israel lifts up a hand for a high five from Roberts, which Viper looks at quizically for a moment before slapping but Israel doesn’t let go of Roberts hand

Smiling viciously before pulling him in for a sickening headbutt

AND TOSSES HIM BACK IN THE RING THE HARD WAY WITH A RELEASE BELLY TO BELLY!

Viper slowly pulls himself up as he just avoids a running knee to the jaw. He can’t avoid the kick to the jaw as he rises before he’s lifted up and double underhooked as Israel begins teeing off knee after knee to the unprotected skull

A leaping one stuns Viper before he’s whipped around

KEEHAULED…NO! Roberts ducks under, grabbing his fallen belt as he spins around

ISRAEL CATCHES THE BELT!

Grimwolf winks at Viper before pulling him into KEEHAULED! The Roaring Elbow nearly breaks Roberts jaw but he doesn’t let Roberts fall as Israel peels back that arm

DEAD MAN’S…BLACK SAND!

Roberts found that bag of sand and Grimwolf may well be done here as he’s blinded by that viscous sand. Grimwolf staggers around, swinging wild as Roberts easily ducks the blind strikes, peppering Israel with jabs and hooks as he skips around the ring before delivering a giant knee to the jaw

ODE TO SNAKE! Israel gets spiked into the mat as Viper floats over for the first cover of this contest

ONE

……………..

……………….

………………..

TWO

…………………..

…………………….

ISRAEL KICKS OUT!

Viper pulls Grimwolf up to his feet, looking for the end but he just gave Israel a solid target that he pays back with a massive Headbutt, rocking Viper before the Terror grips Roberts in a headbutt

BULLY CHOKE!

Grimwolf wraps both arms around Viper’s throat, trying to choke the bastard out as the Head Snake’s trapped in the middle of the ring, without options as the Terror’s looking murderous here, screaming at Viper to tap out

The Head Snake’s arm wavers in the air, inches away from the mat

THE LIGHTS GO OUT!

They flash back on and the Sandman’s in the middle of the ring

AND HE’S FUCKING PISSED!

HARD STOMP TO THE HEAD OF GRIMWOLF BREAKS UP THE SUBMISSION

Sandman peels Roberts up off the mat, throwing him damn near through the corner before lifting up Grimwolf by his damn skull, delivering a brutal headbutt of his own before spiking him into the mat

WITH DEEP SLEEP!

Roberts staggers out of the corner into a teeth breaking Big Boot, the Dream Demon not letting Roberts hit the mat before he goozles him, fingernails breaking skin from the sheer force as he lifts him high up into the air

TO SAND

ON ISRAEL GRIMWOLF!

The Sandman’s not fucking around here as he peels both men up off the mat, rearing those dirty, razor sharp fingernails as he looms down on both men

80 WINKS! EYE GOUGING BOTH MEN!

Israel and Viper are screaming in pain, blood pouring down their faces as the Sandman smiles in absolute glee

BEFORE SLAMMING BOTH MEN’S SKULL TO THE MAT OVER AND OVER, DRIVING THEIR HEADS DOWN AS HE HOLDS THEM TO THE MAT IN A MODIFIED PINFALL

ONE

……………..

……………….

………………..

TWO

…………………..

…………………….

………………………..

…………………………….

THREE!!!

 

WINNER OF THE FIRST FALL AND NEW DOUBLE FEATURE CHAMPION:
THE SANDMAN ©

The Sandman already has one championship, can he retain the other and walk out a double champion here? He still has both men down in the 80 Winks hold as he keeps on the power, the referee counting another pinfall

ONE

……………..

……………….

………………..

TWO

…………………..

…………………….
Can The Sandman pick up both championships here?

…………………..

BOTH MEN KICK OUT!

KICK TO THE DICK!

Both men kick up and drill the Sandman low, he may have no use for the dangly bits at least we hope but that hurts him all the same as they manage to break the hold.

Roberts is up first, wiping the blood from his eyes as he rushes forward, right into a Goozle around his throat

SNAKE OIL!

SNAKE BITE!

That mist/neckbreaker combination could very well have it here as Roberts tries to drop down for the cover but he’s stopped by a hand on his shoulder

FOREARM SHIVER TO THE BACK OF THE NECK!

Roberts rolls back, shaking the cobwebs as he stares up at Grimwolf, the blood allowing the black mist to fade away as the Terror of the Deeps cracks his knuckles

KEEHAULED…NO Viper just dodges it before trying for a hard elbow of his own that Grimwolf catches, spinning Viper around

BIG GODDAMN BOOT! That had to crack a few teeth there as Roberts falls back, looking for a breather that Grimwolf ain’t going to give him. Roberts feigns running away, reaching deep into his side as he does, pulling out a set of knuckle dusters that he whirls around, trying to nail Grimwolf

Israel ducks under the roundhouse right, dropping Roberts to the mat with a vicious headbutt. Viper crashes to the mat, dropping the knuckles as he clambers for them but is met with a hard stomp to the hand before Grimwolf reaches down and pulls the gleaming silver knucks from the mat

“Mighty fine treasure you got there matey”

BRUTAL RIGHT HAND INFUSED WITH THE KNUCKLES TO THE SIDE OF ROBERTS HEAD

“Shame I have to break them on your fucking face”

Grimwolf pulls Roberts to his feet, nearly breaking his ribs with a series of uppercuts to the sternum before throwing him across the ring

RIGHT INTO A BIG BOOT FROM THE SANDMAN!

Roberts crashes to the mat as both Grimwolf and the Sandman rush forward, delivering a pair of hard rights to the jaw that send them both stagger back

“You call that a punch Sandy? My grandma hit harder then that.”

Roberts rolls to his friend, running forward as he tries for Snake Oil again but Grimwolf sidesteps it, delivering a brutal knock out blow to the side of the head, not taking his eyes away from the Sandman the entire time.

Just as the Dream Demon smiles, delivering an almost mocking slow cap at the Terror of the Deep

“Well come on then ya fucking pansy, hit me for real why don’t ya?”

Both men rush forward once more, The Sandman looking for a Big Boot that Grimwolf slides under, rocking him with a brutal uppercut to the crown jewels before kipping up and driving him to the mat

WITH A SICKENING KNUCKLE INFUSED KEEHAULED!

The Sandman falls to the mat as Grimwolf stays on him, delivering stomp after stomp, SEVEN, ELEVEN, FIFTEEN, TWENTY, TWENTY SEVEN

Before Grimwolf rushes to the ropes at mach speed, bouncing off and leaping high into the air

CURB STOMP

TWENTY FUCKING SEVEN PIECES OF EIGHT

That could be it there but Grimwolf ain’t done, peeling Sandman up off the mat, holding him by the back of the head before absolutely pummeling him with brutal right after right, The Dream Demon’s blood staining the steel knuckles as Grimwolf’s trying to knock the Sandman the fuck out right now.

Another brutal uppercut nearly breaks the Sandman’s jaw as he’s lifted up into the air

POWERBOMB!

A SECOND!

A THIRD! SPIRIT OF THE DAMN SEA!

Sandman’s dazed, hurt and weakened as Grimwolf is a shark smelling blood. Ducking under a wild right, he circles around the Dream Demon, hard right to the jaw, jab to the kidney, uppercut to the liver, absolutely decimating The Sandman with dirty boxing here before pulling him down by his goddamn bandages.

AND DELIVERING A SICKENING PAIR OF SILVER UPPERCUTS TO THE JAW!

Sandman manages to just slip out, covered in blood at this point but as Israel tries to grab him once more, the Dream Demon spits out his own teeth in Grimwolf’s eyes!

The Terror stumbles back blinded as the Sandman rushes forward, looking for an almighty Lariat

DEAD

MANS

CHEST!

Grimwolf nailed the Heart Punch out of nowhere, powered by the steel knuckles that well could be it but Israel knows that won’t be it

He needs to kill that bitch with fire

Peeling The Sandman off the mat, he throws him to the corner before rushing forward

Stinger Splash!

Grimwolf drives The Sandman into the steel, quickly pulling him out of the corner as he lifts him up high, rushing forward to the other side of the ring

BUCKLE BOMB

THE SANDMAN DANCES WITH JACK KETCH!

That’s it, all Grimwolf has to do is cover but before he can drop down, he’s spun around on his feet

SNAKE OIL! THAT MOTHER FUCKER VIPER IS ON HIS FEET as he blinds Israel before taking him

TO DICK KICK CITY!

SMALL PACKAGE!

ONE

……………..

…………………

NOT LIKE THIS

…………………..

VIPER’S HOOKING BACK THE TIGHTS

……………………………

HAS THE HEAD SNAKE JUST STOLEN THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP YET AGAIN?

……………………………..

THREE!!!!

The Head Snake rolls out of the ring, a giant smile on his face as he’s stolen the world championship here tonight from the clutches of Israel Grimwolf who after all that, leaves Rust Out with nothing.

Thanks to the absolute cunt Viper Roberts.

 

WINNER OF THE SECOND FALL AND NEW WORLD CHAMPION:
VIPER ROBERTS ©

 

 

 

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“CLEAN UP ON AISLE EIGHT”
FEATURING
JET SET RADIO & BAD MOTHER FUCKERS

Lambs to the Slaughter must have come early this year because it’s pure pandemonium here tonight!

Shaw and Simon have split off and Albie is laying into The Taskmaster with all he has! He bounces Simon’s head off of a freezer door!

Albert Shaw ] “Pyre! Come get your deadbeat!”

Shaw grabs Simon by the throat and slams him against the freezer as Pyre comes rushing in after knocking down Ether!

Pyre ] “Where the fuck were you for the honey moon, shrimp dick?”

The Fire Bitch rears back with flames coming off of her!

SHE HURLS A FIRE BALL! SIMON IS ONLY SAVED BY SHAW PUSHING BOTH OF THEM AWAY TO SAVE HIMSELF!

Albert Shaw ] “The fuck was that!? Zero, tell the broad to watch it!”

Zero ] “Learn to dodge, prison bitch.”

Zero takes his eyes off of Tag for one second to quip at Shaw-

AND GETS A SKATEBOARD TO THE SKULL! TRUCK FUCKED!

Zero hits the ground and here comes Ether skating fast as hell!

TAG POPS HER UP! CURBSTOMP!

Tag ] “FUCK YOU IN PARTICULAR!”

Ether ] “FUCK YOU IN PARTICULAR!”

THAT’S THE JSR KILL IT WITH FIRE! ZERO IS OUT!

Meanwhile Wiz has found Storm and he’s laying into him with body blows one after the other! Storm is looking weak!

AND HE VOMITS RIGHT INTO WIZ’S FACE! WIZ IS COVERED IN BILE!

Wiz ] “Yo what the fuck was-”

LIGHTNING STRIKE! WIZ GETS CLOBBERED!

Storm collapses to a knee and watches as the other side of the store is set ablaze! Pyre is enraged and she’s burning everything in sight! Shaw’s ran to grab Luke as Pyre hurls flames at Tag and Ether!

Ether ] “This bitch is tryna burn us like your mom’s God awful brisket!”

Tag ] “Hey she tries!”

Tag and Ether flee to sea food section as Pyre pursues! She leaps!

DROPKICK! ETHER IS SET ABLAZE AND MADE TO STOP DROP AND ROLL!

Pyre looks for Tag next! She’s pissed off and ready to burn the whole store down!

FIRE EXTINGUISHER TO THE FACE! TAG SPRAYS PYRE WITH HIS WHITE FOAM!

Pyre ] “It got in my fucking hair!”

CATALAN OPENING! KNEE TREMBLER BY SIMON! PYRE SLAMS INTO A LOBSTER TANK!

Ether is back up and she helps Simon pull it down on top of Pyre! Simon’s wife is nice and wet and covered in crabs- er, lobsters!

The trio goes to the other side of the store where Wiz is getting tossed around by Albie Shaw! The Guv’nor is laying into him with elbow shots when he tosses him to the side!

RUNNING HEADBUTT! TAG GETS A BLOODY NOSE AS SHAW COLLIDES WITH HIM HEAD FIRST!

Shaw swings with a wild haymaker that drops Simon! He’s on a rampage but Ether is too fast to grab! She literally skates circles around him and his swings just can’t land!

She suddenly stops and ducks!

Wiz ] “PEAKABOO!”

WIZ FLINGS A BEER BOTTLE THAT CATCHES SHAW IN THE SKULL! THE GUV’NOR GETS LAID OUT!

Only Storm is left and he’s barely standing! He’s escaped to a nearby aisle but Simon meets him there with a massive smirk! Storm puts up his fists but Simon merely crosses his arms.

Hollywood Luke Storm ] “Come on then, fuck face. Come get some!”

Simon pauses for a moment, merely grabbing the nearby intercom and speaking into it.

Simon ] “Clean up, aisle eight.”

Storm looks up, spotting the number above his head before turning to see the entire shelving unit coming towards him!

Hollywood Luke Storm ] “Oh fuck me-”

CRASH! STORM IS CRUSHED BENEATH THE SHELVES!

Jet Set Radio and Simon reconvene near the demolished aisle, looking at the still burning store as Simon nonchalantly grabs a chip can, popping it open.

Simon ]”Well, we should get going. If there aren’t police soon there will definitely be firemen. Would anyone like a crisp?”

Wiz looks at Simon, raising an eyebrow.

Wiz ] “Why the fuck are you calling them that? Those are Pringles, my dude.”

Simon simply rolls his eyes, going to grab a chip only to see the tube now empty, a trail of crumbs left behind as Ether is the first to make her escape from the burning store.

Cut.

 

 

 

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“MEETING OF THE MINDS”
FEATURING
THE BUTCHER

Heaven.

The last we were here; Rain warned The Butcher that he’d be casting a spell to bring him back to Earth. The Butcher said he had a plan, and now he walks up a picturesque drive way to a large Mansion gate.

As he approaches, the gate carefully and slowly opens, allowing him inside. He doesn’t get too far before someone opens the door of the house and walks out to meet him.

The Butcher ] “You won’t know me but my name is…

We’re met by a pristine toothy white smile.

It belongs to an Old School Wrestling favourite.

The Chief.

The Chief ] “Naw, I know who you are, Big C.”

That surprises Colin.

The Butcher ] “You do?”

The Chief ] “Forgetting that I know every player in Heaven, how could I not know the man who took over my precious OSW?”

The Butcher ] “That’s why I’m here.”

The Chief invites him to sit on a couple of chairs on the porch of his mansion.

The Butcher ] “Death is coming for me. He sent a message that he’s going to use a spell to pull me from heaven and bring me back to Earth.”

The Chief ] “Well, shit.”

That wasn’t the response Colin was looking for.

The Chief clarifies.

The Chief ] “Look man, with the Gods dead, this place doesn’t have much in the way of leadership. After the war with hell and purgatory, Heaven has only just gotten back to normal. There’s not an angel here, including myself, with the juice to stop something like Death.”

The Butcher slumps back in his chair, exasperated.

The Butcher ] “So, I’m fucked?”

The Chief ] “If the spell works, then yeah. I’m sorry I couldn’t help you, man. Death is the most powerful being anyone has ever heard of. If that mother fucker wants something, he’ll get it.”

The Butcher ] “What can I do?”

The Chief ] “Do what he wants and hope that when he’s finished with you, you come back home.”

They both stare off into the beautiful sunset.

The Butcher ] “Fuck.”

Cut.