Please, continue your rabble-rousing. The more you chatter, children, the more I am able to identify the remedial section.

Speaking of remedial, today’s lesson is one of the simplest concepts in mathematics.

The basics of subtraction are not advanced mathematics, merely counting backwards. Most children understand this once they master their fingers. But some of us don’t seem to have grasped such basic concepts yet.

Allow me to enlighten you.

Subtracting is simply the process of removing one value from another in order to calculate the difference. Now, in order to take something away, one must first have value. Something of worth. Subsequently, if one removes enough value from a system, there will be nothing left worth calculating.

You see, mathematics has a beautiful honesty about it. There are no excuses. No theatrics. No colourful distractions designed to fool the eye. Many of you struggle to subtract, because you possess no measurable value yourselves.

Which brings us… to Mister El Tropico de Frio.

A man who appears to believe that a pineapple on his head and a coconut in his hand somehow qualifies him as a competitor. That his laid back life of excess gives him some kind of inherit worth.

Poor boy, you are not a competitor. You are a garnish. A tiny umbrella floating in an otherwise empty glass.

You sip your little drinks, you sway your hips, you act as though the world is one long holiday. But eventually, reality arrives to perform the most ruthless function in mathematics.

Subtraction.

A calculation that Jack Standard was only too capable of performing. Last week, he performed the first subtraction, removing the first variable of your illusion of worth.

He stripped away your theatrics, negated your colourful nonsense and subtracted your tropical façade… and what remained?

Very little.

Because when we examine your equation, Mister Del Frio, the numbers simply do not add up.

Charisma minus credibility equals embarrassment.

Confidence minus competence equals noise.

And You, El Tropico de Frio… equal nothing at all.

No subtraction remains. For your value is meaningless.

You parade around pouring piña coladas like some kind of island bartender, convincing yourself that you are refreshing, intoxicating, irresistible.

But mathematics teaches us a very simple truth.

You cannot pour piña coladas from an empty cup.

And that, Mister Frio, is precisely what you are. An empty vessel decorated to distract from the absence within. A colourful container with absolutely nothing of substance to offer.

At Slam… I perform a further subtraction to your already meaningless worth.

I will expose what remains of a talentless delinquent when all the decorations and frivolous noise are subtracted away, when the umbrellas are discarded and the glass is held up to the light.

When the last drop of your limited talent has been poured out inside that ring, we will see soon enough that there is nothing of you left worth worrying about.
El Tropico el Frio… equals zero.

And that, class, is the inevitable outcome when a man attempts to serve drinks from a cup that was empty to begin with.

Class dismissed.