Ahh man… let me tell you something — nothing tastes better than a free drink. Well… maybe one thing does. The sweet taste of victory. And lucky for me, dudes, I got to enjoy a little bit of both. First the win, then the free drink… and now the odds are lining up in my favor, dude.

Now Jack, bro… I’ll give you your credit. You’re one tough hombre. A real bad dude. I’m not gonna deny that. You’ve got grit,  and you’ve got that tough-guy attitude that makes people look when you walk into the room. But man… sometimes you just keep running that mouth a little too long, you just keep barking about tradition, dude.

Because Jack, right now you’re not standing across from one opponent. You’re staring down three, yeah that’s right a trio. A trio made up of two dudes who tore each other apart because they love this sport and have respect for the fight. And then you’ve got yours truly… the cool pineapple man himself.

And Jack, bro,you should be smart enough to figure out, that’s not good for you.

Dinosaur Dude. Eclipse Bro. I trust you two and I can keep things cool out there. Just three dudes going out there and doing what we do best. I just know yall are gonna work out as partners way better than Bag Boy.

Jack, you keep talking about how you’re a “real wrestler.” Like the rest of us don’t qualify. But bro… come on. Every single one of us here is a real wrestler. We’re just a little different looking, that’s all.

So Jack, here’s a little friendly advice.

Relax, man.

Quit taking yourself so seriously all the time. Because while you think your the toughest guy in the room, well Jack, buddy, your definitely not the coolest guy,, and that’s tropicool.