You know what ticks me off?

Ever since I was kidnapped by the Jolly Roger Gang, I never got to know what it’s like to experience stuff like some grown ups have.

I never got to play the same games other kids got to.

I never got to love the same way other kids get to.

And I never got to know what it’s like to graduate like the other kids did.

Instead, I was forced to give all that up for Hook and his crew’s sake.

Now that I’m free and can start living my life again, I’m apparently too old to do all that. Instead, I have to go find a job and start looking into having kids of my own.

I’m only eighteen! I can’t give up on those dreams and joys because grown ups said so!

I want to be able to play the games I wasn’t able to back then! I want to know what kissing a girl for the first time feels like! I want to wear a cap and gown as I receive a paper telling me I’m done with school!

I’m going to live through those moments on Monday! If anyone tries to stop me, I’ll show them what Peter taught me first hand!

Pixelshift gets to live his dream of being a video game character. He gets to run around saving princesses and beating up bad guys all the time.

It’s not fair! I should be running around as player one! Not him!

So I’m going to take the controller from you! When I do, I’ll play your game better than you ever could! If you take it from me when I’m not done, you’ll taste a Bangarang Blast!

Glitter gets to live their dream of kissing whoever they want. Everyone throws themselves at their feet, asking Casanova to take them to bed with him next.

It’s not fair! I should have anyone I want fall for me and ask me to sleep with them! Not that creep!

So I’m going to make you ugly! I’ll mess up that face of yours so bad, everyone will be so grossed out by you, they’ll come running to me instead! Don’t like it? Go cry to your mommy about it!

Academius gets to flaunt his diploma in his classroom all the time. He graduated from school, and now he gets to rub it in every kid’s face.

It’s not fair! I want a paper like that too! How come he gets one and I don’t!?

So I’m going to take it from him! I’m done with school anyways, so it’s not like he can put me in detention! If he tries, I’ll send him off to Neverland!

At the next Slam, I’m going to have fun playing my game, impressing my loves, and graduating from your curriculum.

And I’ll win your game! I’ll have everyone falling head over heels for me! And I’ll be celebrating my win like it’s the last ever day of school!

As for my fellow Lost Boys, believe in me and you will see!