HEY, MEATBAGS!

You shoulda seen your stupid faces at Wrestle Heroes! Snot, piss, and puke all down yourselves, askin’ why with your asshole mouths! How can a Warlord take orders from someone else? Well guess what!?

Sometimes war don’t make sense!

I don’t owe you no answers. All you gots to know is it’s all about the big picture!

That’s what Pixel-SHIT don’t understand!

While big, strong, meaty men like ME are out here doin’ what needs to be done, your puny ass is wastin’ time hoppin’ clouds, eatin’ mushrooms and throwin’ turtle shells!

Spits

YOU MAKE ME SICK, NEEERRRD!

One day in 40,000AD – hard to say if it was day, with ash blockin’ out the sun – I found an arcade out in the desert. It was shiny and new – untouched by the devastation surroundin’ it.

Still dunno if it was real or if my dehydrated ass was hallucinatin’… Didn’t matter; growin’ up in the end-times, if I weren’t born a boy, I’d have had nothin’ to play with at all!

Cackle

I marched inside, found a coin on the floor, and tied some string to it, so I could insert it over n over to play games!

Bet that LOSER, Pixie-DICK, has never inserted in his life!

Booming laugh

Most of ‘em were LAME. One was okay…

Blocks of all shapes and sizes rained down the screen. You had to move n rotate ‘em, arrangin’ ‘em into solid rows to make ‘em disappear. If they backed up on ya an’ filled the screen up, you lost.

Do ya got it yet, Schnitzel-PRICK!?

Your pancaked ass is out here snivellin’—

Obnoxious sobbing

—Why, Mars, whyyy!? You and those PUNY fans are desperately tryin’ to move and rotate the pieces as they fall into place all around you. You can’t find the logic or reason behind the events unfoldin’. Me, Sinister, and Dr. Q are fillin’ our boots, and you can’t out-manoeuvre us or make us disappear!

What did I tell you!?

War don’t make sense. It ain’t about order!

War is CHAOS!

Battle-cry

Sometimes, ya do things you normally wouldn’t. The enemy of your enemy is your friend. All’s fair in love and war. Whatever it takes to survive.

Everything that’s about to happen… needs to! You can run, hide, stand your ground… It don’t matter.

The War Machine keeps turnin’, its wheels oiled with your blood!

When I get you in that ring at Slam, I’m gonna ERECTIFY my mistakes! You pinnin’ me at Heroes was a FLUKE!

Voice-crack scream

You won the battle, ya little piss–baby bitch, but the war is just beginnin’! I’m gonna victimise, pulverise, and decapitise your MEEEDIOOOCREEE ass! There ain’t no cheat codes for you to win this boss fight. You glitch on me, I’ll snap your FUCKIN’ joystick off! You’re gonna need all the power-ups you got, ‘cos I’m gonna do what I did to that arcade machine when it swallowed my coin: I’m gonna rip your CUNTIN’ INNARDS out!

Bloodlust roar

PIXEL-SHIT–FUCK, THIS… IS… WAAAAARRRRR!!!!