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Viagra

Viagra

“Now, you gotta ask, what makes a man take Viagra?”

“They do it because they need to. Without a little Viagra in the bloodstream they can’t get it up.”

“Without that miracle drug they’re left limp dicked and blue-balled. It’s all they have in their lives to make life worth living.”

“Everything they do, from the pills they pop to the porn they watch is to make themselves hard enough to please the one thing they worship in this world.”

“The almighty pussy.”

“A man needs to be nice and hard before he’ll be accepted past those beefy gates and be welcomed into the promised land of a heavenly, toe-curling, mind melting orgasm.”

“These men know that without Viagra coursing through their veins they’d be nothing more than impotent losers begging on their hands and knees for a chance at the slit between those legs.”

“Prostrating and hoping for even a crumb of pussy to grace their lips or their tips.”

“Now, while impotent men look to Viagra as their savior, what does a religious man do when he believes he’s not worthy of the almighty Sky Daddy he worships so fondly?”

“He pops a Vayikra.”

“Now, you three losers have been running around OSW for weeks shilling the literal miracle drug known as Vayikra.”

“What is Vayikra, many ask?”

“It’s the supposed way to reach heaven on God’s good side.”

“See, you three know deep down that, without this magical group of yours, you aren’t worthy of getting past the gates of whatever heaven is left behind.”

“Your holy dicks won’t be able to get hard enough to fuck your way past the golden gates and be welcomed into the warm wet hole of the lord to receive the orgasm of angelic bliss we call heaven.”

“So what do you do?”

“You take it to the extremes. You pop a Vayikra and unleash all of your frustration on the world around you. You battered TGK, brutalized his buddies, and did it all while praising the lord hoping he’ll give you even a smidge of godly coochie for your troubles.”

“Y’all’re horny for Jesus and knowing that without your group you’d be unworthy must drive you absolutely crazy.”

“Keep popping those pills, keep praying and begging as you pump your flaccid cocks waiting for the lord’s light to shine on you.”

“You’re never gonna truly be worthy to even sniff the gates, let alone squeeze past them.”

“I’d say I empathize but you and I will never relate.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t need Viagra, and I sure a fuck don’t need Vayikra.”

“I fuck pussy, penetrate ass, and don’t give a fuck about if I make it into heaven.”

“The only thing that controls my life is me. I won’t beg for pussy and I won’t pray for grace.”

“So pop your Vayikra and get hard and holy for me, boys.”

“Because I’m about to raise some hell.”

“Now put your heads between my legs and kiss your win goodbye.”