Betamax: “Welcome to VHS, everybody. Tonight is one hell of a special occasion and I’m joined here at Ringside by the VHS Champion and all his ‘stuff’ to celebrate it.”
Viktor North: “What do you mean, ‘stuff’?”
[They both look at the desk, which is covered in Viktor’s gear.]Betamax: “Fuck, dude. Look at this place. We’ve got your axes, your title, your little helmet thing. This is an announce table, not a shield-maiden’s bedroom.”
Viktor North: “Are you allowed to say fuck?”
[Betamax looks around for a moment, somewhat worried.]Betamax: “This is my show, bucko. I’ll do what the fuck I want.”
[An awkward silence.]Betamax: “So then ladies and Gentlemen, we’ve one hell of a match in store for you tonight. There’s 11 of VHS’ finest and they’re going to battle it out to become number one contender to Viktor’s Championship.”
Viktor North: “A fitting warrior death awaits the victor.”
Betamax: “And that’s not creepy at all!”
[“The Eye of the Tiger” by Survivor begins to play over the speakers as Marvolo Junior rushes out onto the steps. He holds a finger up before powerwalking down to the ring and clamouring up the stairs and underneath the second rope.]Viktor North: “What is that?”
Betamax: “That’s the newest acquisition to VHS. His name is Marvolo Junior and he’s-”
[Viktor interrupts.]Viktor North: “That tiny little person is a wrestler? I took a bigger shit this morning.”
Betamax: “That’s concerning.”
Viktor North: “I had to flush three times.”
Betamax: “I know he might come up a little short in the height department, but I can assure you that he’s a capable athlete.”
Viktor North: “The only thing that dwarf is capable of is finding the ring.”
Betamax: “Is that a Lord of the Rings joke?”
[North eyeballs him.]Viktor North: “Viktor North doesn’t joke.”
[“Try Everything” by Shakira by Shakira hits and Steph makes her way out from within the tunnel as the lyrics to her theme start. She’s walks down the steps wearing all white tights, boots, and has her hands and wrists taped. She turns away from the camera to peel back to her shirt, revealing an all-white cut-off top.]Betamax: “Now this chick has some balls.”
Viktor North: “It doesn’t look like it. Unless they’re extremely tiny, I just don’t see it.”
Betamax: “Why’d you have to be so literal?”
[Stephanie and Marvolo Jr begin to circle each other, awaiting the bell.]Betamax: “Remember folks; this match is an elimination style match. They’re eliminated once they’ve been pinned or forced to submit. There’s no Disqualifications, no count outs and we go until only one remains.”
[The bell sounds and Marvolo runs at Rose, sliding straight between her legs with a Baseball Slide. She quickly turns around, the little guy catching her with a sharp kick to the chest.]Betamax: “Did he just kick her in the tits?”
Viktor North: “Unless those are her balls, I’d suggest so.”
[Stephanie stumbles backwards, giving MJ the chance to grab her by the arm and send her into the ropes. She comes back, being caught with an extremely quick Hurricanranna. Junior covers… One…. Two… Kick Out. He spins her around and locks in a chin lock, grinding his arm against her throat as he does. She twists to her left, then to her right, realizing she has the power to get up. Slowly but surely, she rises to her feet, falling backwards to break the hold!]Viktor North: “Hey, Pâté!”
Betamax: “You don’t strike me as the Pâté kind of bloke.”
[They both roll back to their feet, Marvolo running at her and swinging around her looking for a Bulldog, only Rose is wise to it and runs him straight through the middle rope and CRASHING TO THE OUTSIDE! Looking rather guilty, she stands for a moment with her hands on her hips, assessing the situation.]Betamax: “I think she feels bad that she just dropped a midget on his ass from about 10 feet in the air.”
Viktor North: “If that hurt, imagine what I’d do to him?”
[Stephanie walks over to the ropes as MJ gets up, only he grabs her by the legs, tripping her to the canvas. He pulls her onto the apron using all his strength and then runs back up the ring steps to the opposite corner of the ring. Junior takes a moment and then runs… DIVING THROUGH BOTH SETS OF BOTTOM ROPES WITH A DOUBLE FOOTED DROPKICK THAT SENDS ROSE BOUNCING OFF THE APRON TO THE CONCRETE FLOOR!!]Betamax: “Holy shit that was cool!”
Viktor North: “What does he call that?”
Betamax: [Looking at his sheet] “Flying with Airvolo!”
[That move took enough out of Marvolo Junior who upon impact, fell through to the floor himself.]“BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!”
Viktor North: [Standing up, ready to fight.] “WARSHIPS!!”
Betamax: “Sit the fuck down, Champ. That’s just the buzzer. It looks like we’re ready for the next participant.”
[There’s no music or fanfare as Thunk stomps down the steps towards the ring. He walks straight around it to meet Marvolo, who like the brave little bugger he is, comes leaping off the ring apron and straight into his arms. Thunk doesn’t bother catching him, he instead just swats him away like a fly.]Viktor North: “Yggdrasil?”
Betamax: “Bless you.”
Viktor North: “I didn’t sneeze you fool. Him, that big fella, he’s Yggdrasil.”
[Thunk walks over to Rose who catches him with a kick to the gut, only that isn’t really phasing the big man. She nails him again and again, until she eventually and rather wisely backs away. The Giant watches her as she walks around the ring and gets to a safe distance. Marvolo Junior though? That psycho son of a bitch just keeps coming. Before you know it, he’s leapt once again from the ring apron onto Thunk’s back.]Betamax: “Oh boy. This kid ain’t smart, is he?”
[Viktor stays silent, watching intently as Stephanie Rose realizes that she must help Marvolo if they want to eliminate Thunk. She runs over and hops onto the ring apron, taking a massive dive straight ONTO THE BACK OF THUNK AS WELL! Both Stephanie and Marvolo hang on for dear life as Thunk wiggles and squirms, trying to shake them off.Viktor North: “They are hanging from Odin’s horse.”
Betamax: “You what now? All I know is the strength of this guy is unbelievable. Look at him, he’s walking around the ring with them on his back like he’s carrying a rutsack!”
[Finally, Thunk falls to one knee, unable to continue any further.]Viktor North: “The horse will ride again.”
[Rose and Marvolo hop off his back, taking their chance whilst they have it. Marvolo heads to the front, taking a run up and Drop Kicking him in the chest. Even kneeling, Thunk is taller than MJ. Rose on the other hand runs from the back, leaping into a Bulldog, only The Giant doesn’t move and she goes flying STRAIGHT INTO MARVOLO JUNIOR! WHAT A COLLISION!!]Betamax: “Should we all just call for the bell now, declare Thunk the winner of the world itself and hide?”
“BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!”
Viktor North: [Standing up, ready to fight.] “Gjallarhorn!? Ragnarök is upon us!”
Betamax: “Bloody hell mate, it’s the buzzer.”
[Hero by Skillet hits and the fans go ballistic, turning their attention to the top of the steps as Chase Hero steps out. He nods, flashing everyone a wink as he hops down the steps to a tremendous ovation.]Viktor North: “This guy is an idiot.”
Betamax: “After what he did to Ash, some might say you’re right. The truth is; he’s really gone up in these fans estimations.”
Viktor North: “Why has he just grabbed that steel chair?”
[Chase isn’t wasting any time. He knows this match is No Disqualification and he’s grabbed a steel chair. He walks around to Thunk and plants him across the skull with it. The Giant groans.]Viktor North: “The Gjallarhorn… Yggdrasil groaning… end times are surely upon us, Betamax.”
Betamax: “I’ll be sure to sort out my life insurance policy.”
[Hero quickly slams him over the head with the steel chair repeatedly, eventually taking him down to a prone base. The fans aren’t quite sure what to make of it until Stephanie Rose gets back to her feet and is quickly clobbered as well. Marvolo Junior though has entered the ring and suddenly comes diving through the middle ropes with a massive Dropkick that sends the steel into the face of Chase. Both men slam into the concrete floor, joining the other two.] [Thunk though is back to his feet first, quite literally shaking free the cobwebs of those chair shots. He reaches down and grabs Chase, tossing him full force into the fans who run out of the way. Hero slams into the concrete, seated, Thunk slamming his boot straight into his face. The Giant drags him and tosses him back to the concrete floor like a ragdoll.]Viktor North: “They shouldn’t have made Yggdrasil angry.”
Betamax: “I wouldn’t want to be on the wrong side of that giant, or at the dinner line with him. Look at him. Do you want to face him of all people for your title?”
Viktor North: “It would be an honour.”
[Thunk rolls Hero into the ring and pulls himself up onto the ring apron, stepping over the top rope. He walks towards Hero as the buzzer sounds.]“BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!”
Viktor North: [Standing up, ready to fight.] “ODIN’S CALL!”
Betamax: “Try… the buzzer.”
[There’s no music or fanfare as the arena darkens and the sounds of Raven’s echo throughout it. Soon enough, Nevermore stands in the middle of the ring, the darkness fading away. Thunk swings for him wildly with a Clothesline by Nevermore is far too wiry, ducking out of the way and hitting the ropes. He launches himself back with a Dropkick to the knee, only that barely phases the big man.]Betamax: “It’s going to take a lot more than that. Could he borrow your axe?”
Viktor North: “If he touches my baby, I’ll eat his eyeballs.”
Betamax: “Right. Remind me never to touch your axe.”
[Stephanie Rose is by now back into the ring as well, this time coming from the opposite direction, hitting a Dropkick on his other leg. Before you know it, Marvolo Junior, Chase Hero, Nevermore and Stephanie Rose are hitting stereo dropkicks to the tree trunk like legs of Thunk. He finally hits the canvas, all five of them piling on into a pinfall. One…. Two… THREE!! KICK OUT! WHAT POWER! THUNK JUST LAUNCHED ALL FIVE OF THEM OFF IN DIFFERENT BLOODY DIRECTIONS!]Viktor North: “The great tree refuses to be chopped down.”
Betamax: “This man is an absolute giant.”
[Thunk rolls to the outside to recover, taking a moment to clear himself of the action. Meanwhile, Nevermore has Marvolo Junior wrapped up and THE DARKNESS! PERFECTPLEXT BRAINBUSTER!!! HE JUST DROPPED THAT LITTLE DUDE RIGHT ON HIS FUCKING HEAD! He’s about to cover when Chase Hero NAILS HIM WITH A SUPERKICK! Holy fucking shit!Viktor North: “Here comes the female!”
Betamax: “The female?”
Viktor North: “Roll up!”
[Rose rolls up Hero.. One…. Two…. Kick Out! We’ve still no eliminations here tonight! Stephanie and Chase roll away from the attempted sneak pin and get back to their feet. He grabs at her, nailing her with a DDT in the middle of the ring. He quickly runs to the ropes, only Thunk reaches through and yanks him to the outside like a ragdoll. The Giant is pissed and grabs Chase TOSSING HIM INTO THE RING POST! JESUS!]Betamax: “Can you believe the strength of this guy?”
Viktor North: “He would make a formidable opponent.”
“BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!”
Viktor North: [Standing up, head in the air, proud.] “Valhalla has summoned me!”
Betamax: “Summoned you to what? That’s the buzzer, you idiot.”
Viktor North: “I am quickly becoming irritated by you, puny maggot.”
[‘Carry On My Wayward Son’ begins to play as Evil Ash steps out of the tunnel. Taking in the boos from the crowd for a few seconds, he swaggers down to the ring. Chase Hero’s ears perk up at the sound of his entrance because before you know it, these two lock eyes and everything changes. Chase grabs the nearest weapon – Viktor’s axe and charges at Evil Ash! BOOMSTICK! ASH JUST NAILED HIM WITH THE BOOMSTICK!]Viktor North: [Standing up.] “He just stole my axe!”
Betamax: “Oh boy. Just… wait here.”
[Betamax wisely leaves the announce table, running over to where Chase lays and slowly grabbing the axe. He runs back over and places it in front of North.]Viktor North: “Your offering has been accepted.”
Betamax: “Thank fuck for that.”
[Evil Ash grabs Chase and bounces him head first off the ring apron, turning him around and driving him back first into the ring post. He unloads on him with right hands, turning to scream at the booing fans. “What’s the matter?” he yells. “Don’t you love me anymore?”]Viktor North: “It wouldn’t take a message from the Gods to answer that.”
Betamax: “These people despise him after joining The Asylum. You have to remember that just a month or so ago, Ash Boomsticked fans here in the School Yard.”
Viktor North: “Taking the fight to puny humans here is like shooting fish in a barrel.”
[Ash turns back to Chase and gets a finger in the eye for his troubles. The Hero quickly nails him with a left hand, grabbing him by his good arm and whipping him into the ring apron. He pushes up on him, rolling him into the ring where Marvolo Junior awaits. Evil Ash gets back to his feet and is quickly taken down with a Head Scissors that lands him neck first on the middle rope. Marvolo signals for it, only Chase nails Ash with a STEEL CHAIR TO THE SKULL! Ash stumbles backwards and Junior takes his shot, rolling him up… One….. Two… Three!! NO! KICK OUT!]Betamax: “That was close!”
Viktor North: “The little person has heart, Betamax.”
[Thunk meanwhile is clambering back into the ring. He steps over the top rope just as Marvolo gets back to his feet, nailing him with a giant boot.]Betamax: “Okay, so Thunk’s foot is bigger than Marvolo Junior’s head. Or what’s left of it.”
“BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!”
Viktor North: [Standing up, ready to fight.] “THE DINNER BELL!?”
Betamax: “Are you kidding me?”
Viktor North: “That one was for you, Betamax.”
[Kaito’s music hits and out onto the walkway he steps, listening to the cheering fans as he does. He raises an arm, only WHACK! HE’S ATTACKED FROM BEHIND WITH A STEEL CHAIR AND IS SENT TUMBLING DOWN THE STEPS!!]Betamax: “What the fuck?”
[The camera pans out to show David Manson stood there, steel chair in hand and a smile on his face the size of The School Yard itself. He hops own the steps as Kaito comes to a crashing halt at the bottom, joining him there. Manson slams the chair down over him, time after time, again and again, beating the holy hell out of him with every single chair shot.]Viktor North: “Can you hear that? That’s the sound of violence.”
Betamax: “That’s the sound of David Manson screwing Kaito out of his opportunity.”
Viktor North: “Aren’t you going to do anything about it?”
Betamax: “Sure I am. I’m going to sit here and watch.”
Viktor North: “Honourable as always.”
[Manson finally throws his crooked and bent steel chair down and grabs the unconscious Kaito, rolling him into the ring where Chase Hero stands. Hero isn’t sure what to do at first but drops into the cover. One….. Two…. Three! Kaito has been eliminated! Manson backs away with a smile, taking a walk around to the commentary table and taking a seat alongside Betamax and Viktor North.]KAITO HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Betamax: “Oh, you’re joining us?”
David Manson: “What’s the matter? Are you afraid of what I might have to say?”
Betamax: “I’m more afraid of the smell emanating from your direction. Look pal, I know you think the world is out to get you, but couldn’t you at least take a bath?”
Viktor North: “Ripe is hardly the word.”
David Manson: “You can make fun of what you don’t understand, but I am here to tell you the truth; the dirty little secret that none of you want to hear.”
Betamax: “You can’t afford warm water?”
Viktor North: “You only have one pair of underpants?”
David Manson: “No, it’s that you’re all being lied to, man.”
[Meanwhile, back in the ring, Chase Hero is brawling with Evil Ash once more whilst Stephanie Rose and Marvolo Junior are engaging in a sequence across the ring. Thunk on the other hand is slamming his giant hand down across the padded chest of Nevermore, slapping the holy shit out of him.]“BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!”
David Manson: [Standing up, ready to fight.] “That’s the sound of my insurrection!”
Betamax: “Oh great, so now it’s your turn?”
David Manson: “I’m getting ahead of myself, it is not yet my turn.”
[Dom Cruise slowly comes walking to the ring, taking his time to get there.]Betamax: “Oh for the love of God, a snail could make a quicker entrance.”
Viktor North: “And fight just as valiantly.”
[Cruise stops at the ring apron and watches the action, almost refusing to get involved. He folds his arm and watches.]Viktor North: “The VHS Champion is not satisfied with this.”
[North gets up from the announce table and walks around the ring to behind Cruise. He looks him up and down for a moment and then rolls him into the ring. Cruise quickly gets back to his feet, demanding to know what the hell that was about, only he steps backwards and right into Thunk. Thunk wraps his hands around his throat and lifts him into the air, slamming him down on the canvas with a double handed Chokeslam.] [Viktor North meanwhile heads back to commentary.]Betamax: “I see that you felt the need to interject yourself?”
David Manson: “That is typical of someone in your position of power, isn’t it? You abuse it because it corrupts you.”
[Betamax turns to him with a frown.]Betamax: “What do you have to say to that, North?”
Viktor North: “I bet his eyeballs are tasty.”
[Thunk drops down into the cover… One….. Two… KICK OUT! Dom Cruise kicked out! The fans didn’t like that. Thunk quickly gets back to his feet and stomps down at him, Cruise wisely rolling away until he falls out of the ring. Hero turns Thunk around and slaps him across the chest. Another. Another. Another. He hits him with everything he has until the Giant nails him with a Headbutt. Rose quickly comes in off the top rope, launching herself at him once more. He catches her, turning that into a massive Powerslam. How can anyone stop this monster?] [Evil Ash comes off the ropes… BOOMSTICK TO THE SKULL OF THUNK! IT ONLY STUMBLES HIM!! Ash looks at his metal hand and runs again… A SECOND BOOMSTICK!! NOPE. THUNK STILL STANDS! Finally, he runs, LEAPING OFF THE MIDDLE ROPE… LEAPING BOOMSTICK STRAIGHT TO THE FUCKING CHIN AND THUNK GOES DOWN!! THUNK GOES DOWN!!]Betamax: “Evil Ash is about to eliminate the tree!”
Viktor North: “It must be Odin’s will.”
[He’s about to drop into the cover when Chase grabs him by the head, launching him to the outside! Hero wants the pinfall for himself!]“BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!”
David Manson: [Standing up, ready to fight.] “Now it is my time.”
Betamax: “Fantastic.”
[Beat The Devil’s Tattoo hits as Manson slides under the bottom rope and runs with a knee to the face of Hero before he can make the pinfall. He turns him around and… SPIKED DDT!! UNSPOKEN WORDS TO CHASE HERO!! MANSON COVERS…. ONE…. TWO… THREE!]CHASE HERO HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Betamax: “The fans can hardly believe that happened!”
Viktor North: “He may stink, but not in the ring.”
[Manson gets back to his feet and starts yelling into the crowd. “I told you,” he screams. “I told you they were liars!” The crowd suddenly erupt, David thinking that he’s finally gotten through to them. He nods and turns around, walking straight into a STEEL CHAIR BY KAITO!! THE BROKEN AND BATTERED KAITO NAILS HIM AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN, RETURNING THE FAVOUR FROM EARLIER! HE FINALLY SLAMS THE CHAIR DOWN ON MANSON AND HEADS TO THE TOP ROPE!!]Viktor North: “Aren’t you going to stop this?”
Betamax: “Turnabout is fair play.”
[KAITO LEAPS… BLACK DRAGON BOMB ON THE STEEL CHAIR AND DAVID MANSON!! JESUS CHRIST!! He rolls away in agony, exiting the ring just as Evil Ash crawls back inside. He covers… One…. Two….. Three! Ash eliminates Manson thanks to Kaito!]DAVID MANSON HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Viktor North: “Kaito has sought revenge on his nemesis.”
Betamax: “And I’m sure that’s not the last we’ll be seeing of these two over the coming weeks.”
[Dom Cruise finally rolls back into the ring, just as Evil Ash gets back to his feet and rolls him up! ONE…. TWO… KICK OUT! Both men spring away, coming back together in the centre where Cruise nails him with a DDT. Nevermore meanwhile is brawling on the outside with Stephanie Rose. He drags her to the steel steps and bounces her head off, quickly slamming her back to the concrete floor by her hair.]Betamax: “That’s no way to treat a lady.”
Viktor North: “This one is fierce. She’ll be fine.”
“BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!”
Viktor North: [Standing up] “……”
Betamax: “Well?”
Viktor North: “What?”
Betamax: “What is it this time? Did Odin fart and you get wind of it?”
Viktor North: “Do not make jokes at the expense of Odin.”
[“The Phoenix” by Lindsey Stirling hits and out comes entry number 10; Lazarus. He runs to the ring and slides in, being met by Evil Ash. He ducks under the clothesline and LEAPS THROUGH THE ROPES TO THE OUTSIDE!! SUICIDE DIVE STRAIGHT ONTO NEVERMORE!! THAT JUST CUT HIS ASSAULT OF STEPHANIE ROSE SHORT! Ash meanwhile turns around to CHASE HERO!! WHAT THE HELL IS HE STILL DOING HERE!? HERO NAILS HIM WITH A BIG SUPERKICK!! TALK TO THE BOOT! AND WAIT… OFF THE TOP ROPE… MARVOLO JUNIOR WITH A HUGE BIG SPLASH!! HE JUST NAILED HIM!! HE’S ABOUT TO COVER WHEN NEVERMORE DRAGS HIM OFF AND MAKES THE COVER HIMSELF…. ONE….. TWO…. THREE!]EVIL ASH HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Betamax: “You have to wonder if these two guys will ever be done with one another?!”
Viktor North: “Their destiny’s may very well be entangled forever.”
[We’re kicking up some speed now as the eliminations come thick and fast! Lazarus rolls back into the ring, meeting Thunk who nails him with a Clothesline. The Giant has had about enough and grabs Marvolo Junior off the canvas, lifting him straight above his head and into the air, tossing him atop Dom Cruise on the outside!] [Nevermore gets back to his feet and is caught low by Marvolo Junior! MJ runs off into the ropes.. SPRINGBOARD STUNNER!! THE NINTH WONDER!! HE GOT HIM!! INTO THE COVER….. ONE…. TWO… THREE! MARVOLO JUNIOR ELIMINATES NEVERMORE!]NEVERMORE HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Betamax: “We’re reaching the climax, North.”
Viktor North: “I bet you say that to all the girls, but Viktor North is no lady!”
Betamax: “What?”
[Marvolo Junior gets back to his feet and is met by the hysterical laughter of Dom Cruise. Cruise stands there, pointing at him.]Viktor North: “Well, I see my reaction was somewhat subdued.”
Betamax: “No kidding.”
[Cruise walks over and pats him condescendingly on the head, dropping down to his knees and offering to put his hands behind his back. Marvolo looks into the booing crowd before running off into the ropes AND BIG FUCKING BOOT! CRUISE LEAPT UP AND NAILED HIM WITH A GIANT FUCKING BOOT TO THE FACE!! Junior slams off the canvas, Dom grabbing him back to his feet and THE FINAL CUT! HE GOT IT!! DOM INTO THE COVER… ONE…. TWO…. THREE!]MARVOLO JUNIOR HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Viktor North: “That was not pretty.”
Betamax: “Speaking of pretty, here’s Stephanie Rose and she’s pissed.”
“BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!”
Viktor North: “Don’t worry, I shant stand.”
Betamax: “Finally.”
[The Shark’s music hits and out comes the former Champion, hopping down the ring steps and walking straight around the ring to where North sits at commentary. He eyes up the Championship, only to be turned around by Lazarus and nailed with a right hand. Lazarus beats him back towards the ring, slamming him head first off the ring apron before rolling him inside. The Shark though is quickly back to his feet, ducking a Clothesline attempt as Lazarus swings, nailing him with a Neckbreaker.]Viktor North: [Standing up.] “Shark meat tastes good and I’m hungry.”
Betamax: “Wait a second North, just wait a second. Let them fight.”
Viktor North: [Sitting down.] “As you wish.”
[Both men are back to their feet, only The Shark slides to the outside. He goes under the ring and grabs a table, pulling it out. Lazarus comes barrelling towards him meanwhile with a Baseball Slide, slamming the table and Shark to the floor. He picks up the table and sets it up, only here comes Rose! Rose leaps from the ring apron to the outside with a Double Axe Handle, dropping Lazarus to the floor as well.] [Meanwhile, back inside the ring, Dom Cruise has been backed into the corner by Thunk.]Betamax: “Oh boy…”
[Rose sets up the table on the outside, but Shark nails her with a massive right hand. He grabs Lazarus and rolls him back into the ring, following. Thunk stops backing Dom into the corner just in time to realize that Shark and Lazarus are now there with him. He runs forward, catching both with a Double Clothesline. Dom runs up behind him though… LOW BLOW TO THUNK! OH MAN! THAT HOOK HIM DOWN TO HIS KNEES!! These final five are giving it everything they have and Rose has been here since the start.]Viktor North: “It’s open to anyone right now, isn’t it?”
Betamax: “One of these five will face you for that title at the 100th special and Damnation, Viktor.”
Viktor North: “Let us fight to the death.”
Betamax: “I really hope not.”
[Dom runs to the outside and escapes the action, Shark meanwhile up, rolling up Lazarus as he makes it to his feet. He grabs the ropes…. ONE….. TWO…. THREE!! WHERE DID THAT COME FROM!? THAT CHEATING BASTARD JUST ELIMINATED LAZ!]LAZARUS HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
[The Shark turns with a grin to see Lazarus staring at him intensely. He runs at him, catching him with a Clothesline! The former VHS Champion gets back to his feet, walking straight into the Tongan Death Grip!! LAZARUS CHAMBER! HE SCREAMS IN AGONY, THAT IS UNTIL DOM CRUISE SNATCHES HIM AWAY FROM THE MOVE AND ROLLS HIM UP… ONE…. TWO…. THREE! CRUISE JUST ELIMINATED THE FORMER VHS CHAMPION!!]THE SHARK HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Viktor North: “I did not expect that.”
Betamax: “I don’t think anyone did. Dom Cruise just did the unthinkable!”
[Lazarus – unimpressed, NAILS CRUISE WITH A SUPERKICK!! We’re down to three now and Rose crawls into the ring, covering Dom…. One…. Two…. Three! Stephanie Rose eliminates the man who eliminated the former VHS Champion!]DOM CRUISE HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Viktor North: “We’re down to two. This is happening so very fast. It’s Yggdrasil versus The Shield-Maiden”
Betamax: “Or Thunk vs. Stephanie Rose. You know, however you wanna call it, champ.”
[Rose gets back to her feet just in time to realize that Thunk is back to his. These two have been here since #1 and #3 respectively. She takes a deep breath and runs at him, Thunk catching her with a Big Boot. She rolls back to her feet… “THUNNNKKKK SMAAASSHHHHH!!!”…… BITE…. FACE CRUSHER!! THAT HAS TO BE IT!! HE COVERS….. ONE…… TWO…… THREE!! HE’S DONE IT! THUNK HAS DEFEATED STEPHANIE ROSE!!] [The bell sounds as Thunk exhaustedly gets back to his feet, looking around the audience who’re cheering him on. He looks down at Rose, nodding with respect for what she did here tonight, but it’s him who’ll be going on to face North for the VHS Championship!]Viktor North: “I must go and congratulate him.”
[Viktor North slides into the ring with his VHS Championship and a microphone, approaching Thunk from behind. The Giant turns around, looking down at him.]“Yggdrasil, you connect the nine worlds. You are the steed of the mighty Odin, who once hung himself from your sturdy branches as a sacrifice.”
Betamax: “I don’t think Thunk understands him.”
[Thunk looks understandably confused.]“As Odin has done, I shall do. I shall hang myself from your sturdy branches, and gain the knowledge of the nine worlds. At Damnation, I will sacrifice myself in the middle of the ring against you.”
Betamax: “You’re just pissing him off, North.”
[The Giant’s frown is unavoidable.]“I shall see you there.”
[North raises his title and backs away slowly, only Thunk isn’t quite so pleased. He runs at him, knocking him to the canvas with a Clothesline. North’s title sprawls away as he gets back up, trying to figure out what just hit him. He stumbles.]“THUNK SMASH!”
Betamax: “I kinda saw that coming!”
[FACECRUSHER TO THE VHS CHAMPION! FACECRUSHER!!!] [Thunk backs away, looking at his handiwork, but the reality is that he simply didn’t understand what North was saying. That kind of confusion, that kind of dangerous instinct to react, it could make this battle a bloody one.] [After all, how is Viktor North going to defeat Yggdrasil?]Betamax: “Thank you everybody for joining us here tonight. I’ve been Betamax, that patty of Champion in the ring is Viktor North and that, ladies and gentlemen, is your new number one contender. Goodnight.”
[The show comes to a close, Thunk standing tall over the VHS Champion.] [Click.]