“Some people need to learn they can’t fix everythin’.”
“A fella in the wastes said he was the best carpenter in Arcadia. Ain’t no house he couldn’t fix, no hole he couldn’t patch.”
“That’s what he said when I caught him in my turf.”
“So I gave him a chance to show his worth.”
“Fix this shitty lil house near my compound and I’ll let him live.”
“Without a word he goes about doin’ his tasks. He walks inside, surveys the damage, and gets to patchin’. New glass in the windows, new wood over the holes. See, he wanted this house to be good as new.”
“And damn it if it didn’t look good enough to sleep in.”
“But there was one problem.”
“See, after he was done, I went in to check his work. I told him I had one more thing he needed to fix.”
“And I kicked in a support beam.”
“Somethin’ load bearin’.”
“In an instant, all his hard work went to shit and that house fell in on itself.”
“He failed.”
“And that night I had a lovely meat stew.”
“See, that’s the thing about you, Death. You’re a real overachiever with those tools o’ yours. Hell, all of Arcadia seems to you as the one and only doctor who can perform miracles.”
“But we both know that no matter how good you are at somethin’, there’s always somethin’ you can’t do.”
“Somethin’ unfixable.”
“I hand you a man I cut into for dinner, a poor bastard missin’ an eye and loose on teeth who’s beggin’ for help? I have no doubt that if I left him in your care he’d be walkin’ out with an eye patch, gold teeth, and a limp.”
“Shit, he’d be good as new.”
“Just like that carpenter who I found out in the wastes, there wouldn’t be a hole you couldn’t patch or glass you couldn’t replace on that man.”
“Thing is, though, we both know that there’s one thing that no matter how good a carpenter you are, how knowledgeable a medicine man, that you just can’t come back from.”
“For the house, it was a support beam. Take it out and the whole thing crumbles.”
“But a human? A livin’, breathin’ patient?”
“You take the heart.”
“Rip it right out of his chest and watch him bleed out before you could ever dream of replacin’ it.”
“Now, once we get into that ring, I’m gonna show you first hand what the right kinda injury can do. The only way you’re walkin’ out of Olympus alive is if I don’t go for the kill.”
“Because like that carpenter, you’re on my turf up here. You either gotta show me you can patch yourself up faster than I can break ya or you ain’t gonna make it to tomorrow.”
“I’m goin’ for the heart, I’m gonna make you crumble.”
“And that night? I’m gonna be feastin’ on Dr. Death stew.”
“Now lemme ring that dinner bell.”