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Tying a Shoe

“One of the most vivid memories I had of my teenage son was when he was much younger. I bought him his first pair of laced shoes and tried to teach him how to tie a knot.”

“Before I could get through the first step, he told me that he already knew how to tie a knot. Upon his request, I stepped back and allowed him to try and tie his own shoes.”

“I watched and smiled as he somehow made a knot so intricate, it surpassed the Gordian knot. He felt proud of himself for making such a monstrosity until he saw me trying to hold back laughter.”

“I dared him to try and untie the mess he made without my help. He confidently accepted my challenge and soon realized he couldn’t even make a dent in his creation.”

“He came to me for help in the end. The knot was so large and tight, I had to cut the laces off in order to get the it undone.”

“Destructo Boy finds himself trying to wear his father’s shoes and tie the laces together. He thinks he knows how to make the knot, so he demands people trying to help him to stand back.”

“However, his acts of ‘heroism’ only result in making the knot bigger and tighter.”

“He made the knot bigger by trying to get involved with Stubbins Doom’s affairs, resulting in him getting captured by the scientist for trying to play hero.”

“He tightened the knot by trying to go out in Olympus when the bomb went off, throwing caution to the wind to try and save the lives of a tyrant and a villain.”

“He somehow managed to do both by nearly getting himself killed by three knife wielding muggers. The last one resulted in me intervening to save his life.”

“Do you feel proud of the giant knot that you’ve created in your father’s shoes? Are you aware of the laughter that’s erupting at your expense as you continue to make an ass out of yourself?”

“At Invasion, it’ll be time that you tried to untangle that monstrosity of a knot. Knowing you, you can’t make a dent in that abomination without having to ask me for help.”

“So I’ll have to step in once more to untie the mess you’ve made again.”

“Arcadia is not a place for children like you. You’ll never get anywhere if you make impossible knots and trip on your own laces like you’re doing now.”

“I’m going to untie that knot you’ve made and show you how it’s done from the beginning. You need all the help you can get if you want to be a hero, so I suggest you stop complaining and watch what I have to show you.”

“Otherwise, I’ll have to get the scissors out and cut the laces off, taking your hope and optimism along with it.”

“Fathers know best, Destructo Boy. As a former dad, I’ll show you how to properly tie your shoes in that ring.”