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KILLER CLOWN
EPISODE #240
JULY 26TH 2021

 

 

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“SEIZE THE NIGHT”
FEATURING
ALBERT SHAW, SEESAW, CORVUS, DEATH NOTE, & SIGIL

Click.

Static covers the screen as a Play ► symbol appears in the bottom right-hand corner.

Albert Shaw looks fucking dead.

A week. An entire week of being SeeSaw’s plaything.

The man has been cut from head to toe, soaking in his own blood.

If he’s breathing at all, it’s only just so.

SeeSaw, meanwhile, is also soaked in Shaw’s blood. His hand still holds the knife.

“I’m growing bored with this,” SeeSaw states, licking a bit of Shaw’s blood off of his blade. “I think you’re used up, Albie.”

SeeSaw walks to the edge of the bed. He places the knife against Shaw’s throat.

BANG!

THE BEDROOM DOOR BLASTS OPEN!

CORVUS!

DEATHNOTE!

“What do you assholes want?” SeeSaw asks. “It’s too late to save him. He’s halfway to Hell.”

Corvus and Death Note look at one another. Corvus grins.

“We’re not heroes, clown,” the Black Hand says. “You just did half our work for us!”

Deathnote charges across the room towards SeeSaw! The clown SWIPES at him with the knife, but the shinigami ducks and spears SeeSaw into the wall!

Corvus swiftly pulls his own dagger from his cloak. “Hold him still.”

“I’m trying,” Deathnote exclaims just as SeeSaw overpowers him and throws him to the ground.

The clown picks his knife back up and points it at Corvus.

“Is it a knife fight you want, little crow?”

Corvus charges at SeeSaw! The two begin dueling, their knives crashing into each others!

Suddenly, a portal opens up!

SIGIL!

HOW THE FUCK IS HE EVEN ALIVE!?

There’s blood dripping down his body from bullet wounds. He’s clearly struggling as he stands at Shaw’s bedside as the knife fight continues.

“Just stopping in,” Sigil exclaims as he grabs hold of Albert Shaw.

The two cosmic leap out of the room!

SeeSaw screams out in anger at seeing this as Deathnote creeps up behind him, leaving Corvus the perfect opening to STAB SeeSaw in the chest!

But SeeSaw narrowly avoids it with a side step, and Corvus CUTS Deathnote!

DeathNote is stricken with paralysis and hits the ground.

Corvus rushes to the aid of his friend!

SeeSaw immediately darts out of the bedroom and escapes.

“Don’t worry,” Corvus says, lifting Deathnote up to carry him. “It will wear off in minutes.”

“You should get the clown,” Deathnote screams!

“This won’t be our last chance,” Corvus says. “Let’s get to the Slaughterhouse.”

Cut.

 

 

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THE OPENER
FATAL 4 WAY SUBMISSION
MORDECAI vs. NIGEL ROYAL vs. SANCTUS BELLATOR vs. TENCHU

Four men and one fall. It’s submission only so who will tap out first?

Mordecai and Tenchu come together in a clinch, as do Bellator and Royal. The Gatekeeper of Dreams Biel tosses The Metal Shadow into a corner and misses with a running back elbow. Royal twists Bellator into a hammerlock, but Bellator spins out and kicks Royal to the head. Tenchu has turned the tables on Mordecai and nails THE HIDDEN BLADE!!!

Tenchi locks in an armbar. Bellator with the splash to break the submission attempt. Royal grabs The Templar from behind…belly to back suplex. Swivel of the hips and another suplex…and two more to complete The Royal Flush. The Bloodline gets up and turns straight into SWEET DREAMS from Mordecai. He has the submission locked into. Royal is fading fast from the ragging.

LOW BLOW!!! From Bellator. Tenchi whips The Templar into the ropes, he springs back….ARM OF GOD!!!!! Kodokush is trouble here, his hand is the air…he’s going to tap! SPITFIRE!!!! The Royal Frog Splas saves the day!!! Bellator gets to his feet angry, he throws a punch….countered into DUNGEONS OF LONDON!!!!

Tenchu is going to have to give in. HE TAPS OUT!!!! But wait! Sanctus has put Tenchu’s foot on the ropes. Bellator gets to his feet but he’s ko’d by a huge big boot from Mordecai. Royal tries for a DUNGEONS OF LONDON on The Gatekeeper but instead he gets taken into a rear naked choke and passes out!

Sweet dreams for Nigel Royal as Mordecai puts the field into a slumber!

 

WINNER: MORDECAI

 

 

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“THROUGH FIRE AND FLAME”
FEATURING
CAEL GABLE & ISRAEL GRIMWOLF

Flames rage onboard the ship that belongs to Israel Grimwolf. It’s currently docked in a harbour, but fortunately still has its crew on deck. They’re shown rushing back and forward, heaving buckets of water up from the sea to extinguish it.

Cael Gable stands, arms folded, watching as the panic ensues before him.

Grimwolf stops directing traffic for a moment, walking over and giving him a nudge.

“At least look concerned, my hearty,” he pleads. “The crew need to believe in our tale.”

Gable shakes his head.

“I’m not happy about this,” he says sternly. “This isn’t how I normally do things; yet something in me can’t wait to see it go down.”

Israel chuckles, walking forward just as the fire is put out. As the crew finally settle down, they surround him – their fearless leader.

“Avast ye,” he roars, getting their attention. “It has been foretold by Dead Man Fingers that our enemies would attack our ship in a brazen effort to sink us.”

Everyone begins mumbling amongst themselves.

“But Dead Man’s Fingers did not scrimp on the details, matey’s,” he assures them with a smile and a wink. “For I know the land-lubber responsible!”

Who is it!?” Members of the crew yell.

“A woman so obsessed with flame that her calling card cannot be ignored. I hereby place a bounty on Pyre’s head. How about we go get us some skin, lads?”

There’s a deafening roar as the crew head towards land, sure to make their way to Old School Wrestling.

Gable grabs Grimwolf by the arm before he heads off.

“How do you know this is gonna work?” He queries, concerned – his face a picture of such hesitation.

“Fingers showed us Pyre, surrounded by angry people,” he confirms. “And me crew are angrier than ever. Our destiny is those Tag Team Championships, me hearty.”

The Olympian nods.

Cut.

 

 

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MID-CARD
INFERNO MATCH
KAINE NIGHTLORD VS. CXDY

Flames flicker all around the ring as The Gold Standard stands across from The Hellbat! The heat is turning up as one of these men prepares to be lit ablaze!

Kaine and CXDY both meet in the middle of the ring to get away from the flames in a quick tie up! Knightlord has the power advantage as he pulls CXDY into a suplex! HE ROLLS THROUGH! ANOTHER SUPLEX! He goes for a third BUT CXDY NAILS A KNEE TO THE HEAD!

Second to None lands behind Knightlord and hits the ropes! BIG IN JAPAN! LARIAT FUCKING FLOORS KAINE! CXDY peels him up and goes to throw him over the ropes! BUT KAINE STOPS JUST SHORT! ELBOW TO THE JAW! CXDY stumbles back and gets knocked fucking silly by a big boot!

The Shadow Bat knows better than to let CXDY recover as he peels him up! BLOOD DRIVER! PUMPHANDLE BRAINBUSTER TO THE KNEE! CXDY bounces from the raw power of the vampire and Knightlord bears his fangs! He doesn’t want to feed but the Darkness doesn’t care! KAINE LUNGES FOR THE THROAT!

CXDY IS FIGHTING WITH EVERYTHING HE’S GOT! KNEE TO THE JAW FORCES KAINE AWAY! CXDY kips up as Knightlord stumbles back towards the ropes! KAINE GOES FOR THE CLOTHESLINE! BUT CXDY DUCKS! KAINE GETS THE ARM! BLOODY STREAM! RIPCORD CLOSTHESLINE SENDS CXDY OVER THE ROPES AND INTO THE FLAMES!

Kaine has evidence that even CXDY isn’t perfect as he sends him down into the flames! CXDY meanwhile rolls wildly on the outside as staff try to extinguish him!

 

WINNER: KAINE KNIGHTLORD

 

 

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“SHE’S SO PRETTY!”
FEATURING
CXDY & SASHA

As CXDY gets back to his feet inside the ring, the Tron flickers.

Static.

Grainy footage taken from an old handheld camera sits perched neatly between some bushes, peaking out across a small street. It’s shaky, as a car slowly approaches and pulls up.

Out gets a beautiful woman that we immediately recognize as Sasha Williams – her Husband quickly in tow behind her.

They head to the trunk and begin grabbing bags of groceries, taking them inside.

We see a gratuitous shot of Sasha’s butt as she leans into the trunk of their Land Rover, reaching something at the far back.

“Ohh,” a soft voice utters in muted whisper. “She’s so pretty.”

Cody comes back, helping her with the last few bits of groceries before they share a kiss and pull the trunk back down, heading inside together.

The footage shakes a little more before abruptly cutting off.

As the Tron turns to Static, CXDY looks as if he’s seen a fucking ghost. He immediately panics, looking left, right and behind him, but no-one is taking the chance to attack.

With his face as white as a sheet, he backs up and cautiously heads to the backstage where no doubt he’ll be in touch with Sasha.

They appear to have a stalker.

Cut.

 

 

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‘TWO OF A KIND
FEATURING
JESSIE AND JOANNA WILLIAMS & TWO-FACE

We open to see the hustle and bustle of every day life. The sign on the door says “Vote Maria Martinez for Mayor!”. Jessie and Joanna pull up in their restored pale-yellow Oldsmobile.

“This the right place? I don’t see any of Two-Face’s goons anywhere.” Jessie says looking over at Joanna who is looking at the map.

“It says Maria Martinez, and this is the office. We better get in there.”

As they walk in, a young teenaged girl runs up with a big grin.

“HI! Welcome to Ms. Matinez’s campaign office. Do you have a meeting?”

“No, but you need to get everyone out of here. You’re in danger!” Jessie says looking around.

The girl looks a little shocked and goes to a back office. A few moments later an older, Hispanic woman walks out with a serious look on her face.

“What are you talking about? What danger are you talking about?”

“A man named Two-Face has made a threat agai-“

Jessie is quickly cut off by Maria.

“Mr….”

“Williams. Jessie, but please just list-“

Again, Jessie gets cut off.

“Mr. Williams, we get threats all the time. I’m a Hispanic woman running for government office. This isn’t news, and more often than not the threats are just hot air.”

Jessie pulls out the Boomstick and aims it at her face – his attitude having changed. He’s darker, more volatile than ever before.

“Listen, you stupid bitch, there is a threat coming. A man formally known as Alton Whitlock, remember him? Yeah, we know he’s threatening this office. Now get your shit, and get the fuck out of here!”

Martinez, shocked, quickly tells everyone to get out of the office. She stands defiantly in the face of Jessie and his Boomstick.

“I don’t know what you think you’re doing, but you will live to regret this!”

A phone rings, drawing Jessie attention. He drops the Boomstick and answers on speaker.

“You think you’re so smart, don’t you? You find our plans, and think that’s it? Turn on the news, you’ll see something we bet you didn’t find in those papers you stole from us.”

Joanna and Martinez quickly turn on the news. Broadcast of a bombing at another political rally.

“See you at Up in Smoke.”

The line goes dead as the Williams’ and Martinez look on in shock at the news.

Cut

 

 

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MID-CARD
BARBED WIRE ROPE MATCH
DARKLORD vs. THE IMPALER

Who will be left standing after these two imposing foes clash inside a ring surrounded by barbed wire?

The Impaler starts the bout, hitting Darklord with his best shot. The Carthian certainly felt it but it will take a lot more to put down this gargantuan being. ADAM SMASHER!!!! NO!!! KNEEL! YOU CUNT!!! The Impaler is down. Darklord hoists him into the air…reverse suplex onto the top barbed wire rope!!! The God King grabs Impaler by both arms, dragging him along the top rope, lacerating Legion’s torso.

Impaler scrambles to his feet, wiping away the blood, he hits Darklord with an open hand strike. Thrust of the throat by The Carthian…WARLORD’S HAND!!! COUNTERED!!! Knee to the gut and a flapjack onto the top rope by Legion. Impaler takes Darklord, ties him between the top and middle rope by the throat….The God King is being choked by the barbed wire!! AND A RUNNING BIG BOOT!!!

Darklord is released from the ropes, his thick skin oozing blood…ADAM SMASHER!!! DUCKED!!! AND THE KING’S GRASP!!! Darklord is choking out The Impaler!!! JAWBREAKER!!! Impaler with a huge counter and an ADAM SMASHER to The Carthian!!!

The Dread Pirate lifts Darklord…NIGHT CITY BLACKOUT!!! COUNTERED!!! REVERSE BLACK HOLE!!! ONTO THE TOP ROPE!!!! ONE! TWO! THREEEEE!!!

The God King reigns over The Impaler!

 

WINNER: DARKLORD

 

 

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“CONTRACT SIGNING”
FEATURING
SIMON & TENCHU

In the ring, Simon is standing with a microphone. There is a table and two chairs next to it behind him. He begins to speak.

“Hello, ladies and gentlemen. Simon says applause for my guest, Tenchu!!!”

The Voyage by Typhon plays as Tenchu marches to the ring.

The crowd roars for the robot.

As Tenchu steps into the ring, Simon continues to speak.

“I’m glad to see you, my metallic friend. I put a lot of time and effort into the contract I’m about to present to you. I hope you like it.”

Tenchu nods and replies.

“I’m sure you do. If I don’t, you’ll see why you offered me one in the first place. Let me read it.”

Simon smiles awkwardly and speaks.

“It is on the table here, sit down and take a look.”

Tenchu sits and reads. He seems to like it as he nods approvingly. He reads it quicker than any human can and sets it down. Simon sees this and looks nervous to speak but does anyway.

“How do you like it?”

Tenchu responds.

“Honestly, I’m quite surprised.”

Simon raises an eyebrow and replies.

“Oh?”

Tenchu nods and continues.

“Yes, I expected something different. Something that might seem nice but much more advantageous for yourself. This looks like a simple bodyguard offer with great compensation and even an option to cease the contract if I don’t like it. You did put time into this and I am very impressed. I’ll gladly sign it.”

Simon breathes a sigh of relief and speaks.

“Wooh, I’m happy to hear it. Someone with your skills deserves a lot so I’m happy to hear you like what I’m offering. Are there any questions?”

Tenchu nods while signing the contract. After putting the pen to paper, he replies.

“Just one, what is my first assignment?”

Simon smiles and answers.

“I want you to face me at Up In Smoke. I want to see how you operate up close. Whatever I like, we can sharpen and whatever I don’t, we can upgrade your system to be better the next time out. I want to see how we can make Tenchu 1.5. I already like what I see but there’s always room for improvement. Is my assignment acceptable to you Tenchu?”

Tenchu weighs it in his mind and nods. He speaks.

“I don’t see why not, it’s a mutually beneficial assignment. Just don’t expect me to go easy on you or let you win.”

Simon nods fervently. He chuckles and replies.

“I wouldn’t want you to. I want you constantly at your best. Next week, show me why I hired you.”

Simon stretches his hand out for a handshake. Tenchu sees and shakes. He bows and replies.

“Happily. Show me why you shouldn’t need me.”

Simon chuckles and pats Tenchu on the back. He speaks.

“I like you old sport, let’s show the world what we already see in each other.”

Tenchu nods and responds.

“Let’s do it boss.”

Simon nods as he is very happy with how things went. He exits the ring and Tenchu follows him analyzing his surroundings for danger. They leave the ringside area together.

Cut.

 

 

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“VOYNICH”
FEATURING
SIGIL & ALBERT SHAW

Albert Shaw opens his eyes and shoots up with a GASP for air.

But he finds himself on a plane of existence utterly unfamiliar to himself.

He is surrounded by ticking clocks of different shapes and sizes. It looks like a surreal dream.

Albert touches his body.

He is no longer cut. No longer bleeding.

His body is a pristine temple. Healthy in every way.

“Is this… Hell?” Shaw asks himself. “Purgatory?”

“Neither,” a voice answers.

Sigil.

He’s bleeding, doubled over and breathless. He’s near death – barely able to move, yet he speaks as powerfully as he can.

“You stand in one of my caches,” Sigil answers sternly. “As you may know, I’m something of a collector. Given what all has transpired, what currently transpires, and what will? This just seemed a rather apropos location for you and I to have a chat.”

“My body,” Albert says, his voice trailing off.

“Yes,” Sigil nods. “I have healed you.”

“How?” Shaw asks with indignance.

Sigil picks up a small, golden timepiece and shows it to Shaw.

The hands spin backwards rapidly.

“Thanks to me, not only are you healed, but all the things SeeSaw did to you? It’ll feel like it never happened to begin with.”

Shaw shakes his head, “That’s bullshit, lad. I remember it. All of it.”

“Time,” Sigil begins. “It’s a funny thing. It can affect the body and the body alone, when wielded by the right master.”

“That cryptic shit? It’s got to go,” Shaw states. “I’m not like you, mate. I appreciate what you’ve done, but you’re talking around the point. Be a straight shooter, yeah?”

Sigil shrugs. “The only way to shoot straight on such a concept is to show you.”

Sigil reaches into his bag, and withdraws the time crystal.

It glows green in his palm.

Even Shaw is stunned into silence by the glow of its power.

“Now, before I demonstrate, I need a promise from you.”

“A promise?”

“A favor to be exact,” Sigil continues. “I collect those as well.”

“I’m out of the favor-giving business,” Shaw states.

“I could just leave you here,” Sigil says. “There’s only one way in and one way out, Albert, and that’s with me. I did you a favor. I didn’t have to. But I did. So how about you get back in the favor-giving business?”

Albert thinks for a moment.

“Fuck!” He screams. “Fine. A favor for a favor. I can live with that.”

“Better than dying at the hands of a clown, yes?”

Albert nods.

“‘I’ve saved this moment especially for you, Albert,” Sigil says. “So I’d appreciate your undivided attention.”

The time crystal in Sigil’s hand glows even brighter.

A green hue illuminates across the entire cache.

Suddenly, six bullets RIP THROUGH Sigil’s chest and out of his chest.

Sigil cries out in pain as Shaw watches in stunned amazement.

Just as suddenly as the bullets reversed, one by one, the holes they caused close up and disappear.

The green hue from the crystal fades.

“Do you see?” Sigil states.

“Like it never happened,” Shaw says.

“Exactly, jus like it never happened,” Sigil says. “That’s the point. And yet, you remember who did this to me?”

“Aye,” Shaw says.

“Voynich.”

Sigil nods. “For saving your life, I want you to end his.”

Shaw sighs.

“No half measures. No games. When the time is right, you kill Voynich. Before Up In Smoke. Do you understand?”

“What if I can’t?” asks Shaw.

“Then I’ll deliver you right back into SeeSaw’s hands and let him finish the job he started.”

Shaw inhales sharply. “Alright,” he says. “I’ll do it.”

“Good,” Sigil states. “Now, off you go.”

A portal opens behind Shaw, he shoves Shaw through it.

And quite immediately, Shaw finds himself standing in the ring at the Slaughterhouse.

 

 

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MID-CARD
HARDCORE MATCH
BANZAN vs. ALBERT SHAW ©

Weapons litter the ring and surrounding area, can the ex-con Albie Shaw scale the Indestructible Mountain, or will the Wellspring run dry for The Guv’nor?

Banzan is in the ring when Shaw comes from underneath with a kendo stick. He CRACKS Banzan across the back, OBLITERATING the stick into hundreds of fragments. The Double Feature next grabs two tin can lids….HE CLAPS THEM AROUND THE HEAD OF THE MOUNTAIN!!!

The Guv’nor hits the ropes and tackles Banzan to the ground….SNITCHES GET SNITCHES!!!! Not this time as Banzan presses Shaw right off him. Albie is up and he wants to attack again, Banzan fends him off….TIGER CLAW…The five point palm strike collapses the champ. Banzan grabs a set of nunchucks, he lassoes Shaw’s ankle with them and yanks The Guv’nor down. SIT-DOWN BOMB TO THE CHEST!!! ONE….TWO….SHOULDER UP!!!

As Banzan stands up, Shaw slips on a pair of brass knux…SHOT TO THE KNEE!!! The Mountain erodes. SHOT TO THE TEMPLE!!! The Mountain collapses….ONE….TWO…..THREE-KICKOUT!!!! It was close!

Shaw sets up a table. He peels Banzan off the mat….DUKKHA!!! The Saito Suplex out of nowhere!!! Shaw eats wood!!! The Guv’nor gets to his knee….MAGGA!!!! The running knee puts out all the lights inside The Guv’nor….ONE…..TWO…..THREEEE!!!!

The Mountain stands strong against even the most powerful winds!

 

WINNER: BANZAN

 

 

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“NOT PROUD”
FEATURING
NIGEL ROYAL & CXDY

“It’s a sinking ship. Tell her to sell now and you invest the funds in something that will turn an actual profit.”

Nigel Royal’s voice pierces the evening. He stands out the back of the Slaughterhouse, speaking through the window of one of his own limousines, obviously conducting business with one of his partners within.

“If we still have those shares by morning, heads will…”

His voice trails off mid-sentence.

“… I’ll call you later, get out of here and get things done.”

The car pulls out and drives out of sight. Royal turns as the source of his interruption is made clear. CXDY stands before him, glaring. Blocking the only door back into the Slaughterhouse from the back entrance where he had been conducting his business.

“You have some nerve, you sick fucker.”

Royal looks a little perplexed, unsure of what his foe is getting at exactly.

“You may have to be more specific. I have no idea what you’re getting at.”

CXDY grabs Royal around the throat.

“You mess with my family, I will end you. I will not be proud of it, but for their sake, they will find you in fucking pieces. All the money in the world won’t be able to put you back together again.”

Royal breaks the choke with a knee to the guts that doubles CXDY over for a moment. DDT PLANTS CXDY INTO THE CONCRETE!

Royal stands over the fallen Gold Standard.

“Listen here, you pestilent little worm. With one flick of the pen I could have you wiped from the Earth without so much as lifting a finger. Last week’s little stunt cost me thousands in ‘danger reimbursements’… If you overstep your bounds once more, I will wash you away like a fucking skidmark.”

CXDY groans, holding his head. Royal tosses down a £10 note onto the chest of his foe.

“For your troubles…”

He then steps over CXDY’s body and walking back through the door into the Slaughterhouse.

Cut.

 

 

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MID-CARD
TOOTH DECAY
THE SANDMAN VS. VIPER ROBERTS

Tooth Decay has set in and someone is getting an extraction! Is Sandman losing a tooth, or will Viper leave this with one less fang?

Roberts stalks around the ring, edging towards the dental chair as Sandman stands motionless! Viper grabs hold of the pliers! DARKNESS! THE LIGHTS ARE OUT! When they come back up- SANDMAN IS BEHIND ROBERTS! THE DREAM DEMON SENDS ROBERTS HEAD FIRST AGAINST THE DENTAL CHAIR! The pliers hit the mat!

Sandman lays into Roberts with lefts and rights before trying to force him into the chair! HEADBUTT PLANTS HIS ASS IN THE SEAT! Sandman goes to grab the pliers BUT GETS KICKED IN THE FACE BY ROBERTS! VIPER CAPITALIZES WITH AN ODE TO THE SNAKE! DDT PLANTS HIM IN THE DIRT!

The King Snake knocks Sandman onto his back and mounts him! Elbows and haymakers fly wildly as he pummels Sandman! Evil thoughts fill his mind as he grabs those pliers! But he has to lift that mother fucker into the chair to extract the tooth! HAYMAKER FROM SANDMAN! ROBERTS IS SENT REELING!

The Night Terror sits up before rising to his feet as Roberts leaps at him, smacking him with the pliers! Sandman doesn’t even budge as he wraps a big hand around Viper’s throat! TO SAND! CHOKESLAM RIGHT INTO THE GOD DAMN CHAIR! SANDMAN TAKES THE PLIERS RIGHT OUT OF HIS HAND AND SHOVES INTO INTO VIPER’S MOUTH! BLOOD FLIES AS A TOOTH IS YANKED OUT! SANDMAN WINS!

The Dream Demon looks at the tooth, pocketing it before disappearing from the ring.

 

WINNER: THE SANDMAN

 

 

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“A TRAIL OF BLOOD”
FEATURING
STONER & KAINE KNIGHTLORD

We find ourselves backstage, where Stoner is getting himself ready for the main event later tonight…and is noticeably trying to keep himself from being upset about something. He mutters to himself, but we don’t get a chance to hear exactly what as a voice calls to him.

“Mr. Hilm, it’s all leading to you.”

This sets Stoner off, leading the normally laid-back fella to shout in response.

“Leave me alone!”

We soon realize that he knows exactly who is calling to him, as we see Kaine Knightlord step out of the shadows.

“I can understand your anger, Mr. Hilm…if I was knee deep in this sort of controversy, I’d be upset too. The facts don’t lie, however…that trail of blood surrounding the Manhattan Mall Massacre leads right back to David Hilm, and there is no high that can mellow out the truth.”

Stoner leaps to his feet, nearly nose to nose with the Dark Detective.

“Listen, man…if you look into it hard enough, you’ll know that I’d never kill someone I consider a friend. How dare you insinuate otherwise! Go look up Sherman Dewey, and you’ll find the truth for yourself.”

Kaine cannot help but respond to this with a smirk.

“Thank you for your cooperation, Mr. Hilm.”

Stoner turns away, only to try to lunge at Kaine…who has disappeared as quickly as he arrived. This leaves us with an outraged Stoner, forced to grapple with this on the night of his chance to get back into the tag title picture.

Cut.

 

 

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“SCENE II: SHOWDOWN”
FEATURING
LUKE STORM & VIPER ROBERTS

Recorded Earlier.

There’s an anger inside Storm as the director’s trailer door slams behind him.

That tattoo could only mean one thing…

He has to find him.

He starts to search, chaotically, pushing others out of the way, but the set is so big, he’s not quite sure at first how to find him. And then he remembers.

“He is a very good friend of mine. So good he gets the trailer only second to this one!”

And suddenly a smirk curls the corner of Storm’s mouth just a little. As he heads towards the second largest trailer on set, he snatches a clapper board from the hands of one of the runners. He approaches the trailer, noticing a green sheen to the outside. He should have known the minute he set eyes on it.

Inside, a man talking on the phone leans back in an expensive chair, his feet up on the table.

“Thanks. See to it you do,” he signs off, lightly tossing the phone onto the desk in front of him. As his phone hits the desk, though, the door to the trailer slams open, almost off its hinges.

“Luke…” he says. The camera pans around and for the first time we see that Viper Roberts is the seated man. “How are you enjoying the spoils. I thought you’d come to thank me eventually.”

Luke says nothing, instead simply leapfrogging the desk and hitting Viper around the head with the clapper board. Blood is drawn instantly, but that only seems to spur Storm on, The Tempest swings wild lefts and rights at Viper, the thuds echoing. Storm lifts him up, throwing him head first into first the wall, then the desk, then the TV screen set up in the corner.

Viper, now down and nearly out, lies on the floor. Storm retrieves the clapper board, spotted with Viper’s blood, and wipes it clean on his jacket.

“I don’t want anything to do with whatever game you’re playing. I don’t need your help,” Storm practically spits.

Storm pulls Viper over to the wall, placing the clapper board over his neck, the small side between the wall and Viper, the bigger side between Viper and himself. Viper can only look on helplessly as Storm takes a short run and punts the board. Viper splutters, blood now leaking from the corner of his mouth.

But Storm has already gone.

Cut.

 

 

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MID-CARD MAYHEM
TRIOS DEATHMATCH
SIGIL, ZERO © © & DEATHNOTE © vs. VOYNICH ©, CAEL GABLE & SEESAW

We have a brutal trios match here tonight as six of the very best go head to head in deadly fashion. Will the team of double champion Zero lead the Collector and the Shingami to victory or can the world champion lead the olympian and the toybox king to a brutal win?

The bell sounds as absolute chaos reigns inside the ring, Sigil immediately PLANESWALKERing Cael Gable out of the ring before he gets a brutal ISHTAR’S GATE to the back of the head by Voynich. Seesaw rushes forward himself, driving into Deathnote with the Superfine but as he lifts him up with the spinebuster, Zero rushes low, taking out Seesaw’s knees before quickly lifting him up high into the air

ABSOLUTE ZERO! Zero tries to go for the cover but before he can drop down, a fucking steel chair gets thrown into the back of his damn head by Cael Gable. Gable picks up the chair again, swinging hard at the rising Deathnote but Sigil manages to duck under before kicking Gable hard in the dick. The olympian goes down hard but Sigil can’t capitalize as he’s brought to his knees by a hard shot with a baseball bat to the side of the head.

Sigil drops to his knees as he looks up, Seesaw twirling the memory slugger in his hands before nearly busting open the Collector’s skull with an almighty shot. Voynich slides into the ring with a table, made of glass rather then wood as the pair set it up near the corner before pulling Deathnote up to his feet. Seesaw delivers a sickening headbutt before dragging the Shingami up to the top rope.

Seesaw pulls Deathnote up, looking to lift him up into a Piledriver but Zero is up on his feet, rushing forward as he tries to stop the sure finishing blow…BULL…ZERO CATCHES IT! He tosses Voynich away into the ropes as Seesaw gets crotched up top. Deathnote is able to recover as he reverses Seesaw’s hold, getting him up onto his shoulders. DYING WISH…BURNING HAMMER FROM THE TOP….THROUGH A FUCKING GLASS TABLE! That has to be it as Deathnote collapses on Seesaw. ONE…TWO…ZERO DAMN NEAR DECAPITATES VOYNICH WITH THE FIREWALL….THREE!!!

The Shingami picks up the victory for his team here with that brutal Burning Hammer with the help of Zero as they win this chaotic brawl.

 

WINNER: SIGIL, ZERO © © & DEATHNOTE ©

 

 

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“STREET FIGHTER”
FEATURING
DARKLORD & BANZAN

It’s a busy night in Hell’s Kitchen. Men and women walk quickly through the streets, barely giving a passing thought to anyone but themselves.

CRASH! THE WHOLE SIDE OF A BUILDING EXPLODES!

People scatter from the sidewalk into the road, causing cars to honk their horns as the dust from the broken bricks begins to fade and a strange sight greets us.

First we see none other than Darklord, who is mounted on someone repeatedly punching them.

It’s Banzan!

The Carthian picks up the Mountain, who is dazed from being speared through a fucking brick wall. He headbutts Banzan.

“Perhaps I was wrong about you.” Darklord taunts. “What kind of man gets blindsi…”

BANZAN EXPLODES WITH ENERGY, THROWING DARKLORD BACK INTO A NEARBY SHOP WINDOW!

The Mountain steps through the window, glass seemingly disintegrating under his feet. There is no mercy in the eyes of Banzan as he picks up the inert Darklord.

“You are wrong.” Banzan confirms. “But that will not stop me fro…”

GLASS TO THE FACE! DARKLORD WAS PLAYING POSSUM!

HE’S THROWN A HANDFUL OF GLASS INTO THE EYES OF BANZAN!

Banzan staggers backwards, and Darklord grabs him and throws him into the shop’s counter. The shopkeeper is scared shitless, running as far as he can as these two behemoths destroy everything he’s ever worked for.

With some distance between them Darklord takes off at a sudden sprint.

SPEAR THROUGH THE COUNTER!

HE TOOK BANZAN ALL THE WAY THROUGH THE WALL BEHIND THE COUNTER!

THE WHOLE BUILDING IS SHAKING!

“Let’s finish this, shall we?” Darklord asks. But before he can continue, he looks up and heads for the exit to the shop, just as…

THE WHOLE FUCKING BUILDING COLLAPSES! SEVERAL STORIES OF BRICK FALL ON THE SHOP!

As the dust settles, people have started to gather around the giant pile of rubble where this shop used to be. Some of the bricks begin to glow.

BOOM! THE RUBBLE EXPLODES EVERYWHERE WITH A GIANT OUTPOURING OF ENERGY!

BANZAN IS TRULY INDESTRUCTIBLE!

The Mountain is pissed the fuck off as he looks around.

Darklord is gone.

But now it’s Banzan’s turn to hunt.

Cut.

 

 

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“INTO THE DARK”
FEATURING
SANCTUS BELLATOR & THE IMPALER

Blackness.

The only view we get into the darkness is the glint of light coming off the gold lining of a mask.

Sanctus Bellator’s mask.

The Holy Warrior stalks through a familiar area, one which we became acquainted with last week. Sneaking around shipping containers and boxes, we come across the scene from last week.

Worshippers, poor innocent people, all trapped in cages, starving or worse. And in the middle of it all? Sitting before the carnage?

The Impaler.

Sanctus stares on from his hiding place, teeth gritted as he looks at the scene in front of him.

“It is mine to avenge, I will repay.”

In the blink of an eye Sanctus leaps from his hiding place! The Holy Warrior lashes out at The Impaler with a flurry of blows, each one landing flush and knocking him from the chair to his knees! He tries to stand but Sanctus gives no chance!

SNAP!

The sound of a neck breaking in Sanctus’ hands rings out through the warehouse. The Holy Warrior stands above the corpse of the Imapler, a fire in his eyes.

Click.

The lights flash on, only none of this happened.

Sanctus is intsead stood in the middle of the room, his eyes covered in darkness. Everything imagined – nothing real.

Sanctus steps back in horror, looking down at his hands then up, finally seeing the walls of this once bleak warehouse.

Writing in blood leaving a message in his wake.

‘You are no Holy Warrior. Your mask shall be no more.’

Bellator looks to the cages, not even taking a second to ponder the message as he tries to free any of the living captives.

Tries.

Cut.

 

 

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MID-CARD
FIRST BLOOD MATCH
ISRAEL GRIMWOLF VS. CORVUS

The Scourge and The Crow. Spilling blood is their specialty. But who can spill it first?

The bell rings and Grimwolf is fast on his feet! A running headbutt slams into Corvus and drops him! The Crow is quick to his feet and catches a clothesline to the jaw- no! CORVUS DUCKS THE CLOTHESLINE AND HITS A LEG SWEEP! LEAPING KNEE TO THE NOSE OF GRIMWOLF!

Israel holds his nose in pain but blood isn’t flowing just yet! He rolls to his feet and gets up right into a springboard savate by Corvus! The Crow isn’t giving him an inch! UPPERCUT BY GRIMWOLF SENDS CORVUS INTO THE CORNER! THE SCOURGE STARTS PUMMELING CORVUS WITH DISASTROUS HAYMAKERS!

Corvus is fighting for his life as each punch lands flush with his skull! CORVUS DUCKS A BLOW! DOUBLE KICK TO THE GUT SENDS GRIMWOLF SPRAWLING BACKWARDS! Grimwolf hits the ropes! KEELHAULED! ROARING ELBOW- CORVUS DUCKS! BLACK HAND BLADE! LEAPING CUTTER- NO! Israel shoves Corvus away and neither man has the advantage!

Bloodthirsty and no rules holding them back, Corvus pulls two knives from his cloak! AND GRIMWOLF DOES THE SAME WITH HIS DAGGER! Both men lunge at one another! Corvus ducks a wild swipe! Grimwolf blocks a stab! CORVUS SLASHES DOWNWARDS ACROSS GRIMWOLF’S FACE! BLOOD IS FLOWING! CORVUS WINS!

Corvus spills blood first! The assassin wipes the dagger off on his robes before sheathing it once more.

 

WINNER: CORVUS

 

 

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“TETHER”
FEATURING
MORDECAI

With eyes wide open, there’s heavy breathing and panting. We watch as the eyelids flitter from side to side in a terrified panic.

A voice softly speaks.

It belongs to Mordecai, just like last time.

“You may wonder why I’m here,” he says, as if he’s talking to the person whose eyes are flittering. “I’m reaching out to you before it’s too late.”

“Who are you?” A voice returns.

“My name is Mordecai and I’m the guardian of dreams,” he replies.

There’s an eerie silence, but you can see a change in the eyes – there’s no longer terror.

“I need your help,” he continues. “The Sandman has escaped our realm and now terrorises Earth. He was summoned from within it; trapped and tethered to something.”

“Sandy Rogers,” the voice replies again.

“Indeed. There is a way for me to return him here, but I need help to manifest in your realm,” Mordecai asks.

“You need to be tethered?” is the curious reply. “Does breaking the tether not end the escape?”

“Only I can put a stop to The Sandman. Only I can bring him back to the dream realm. You can stop Sandy Rogers manipulation of him, but you cannot stop him. Only I can do that.”

The camera pans out, revealing Luke Storm, led in bed – the voice in his head.

“Tell me what I need to do,” Storm says confidently.

“You must tether me to yourself, just like Sandy did The Sandman.”

“Very well,” Storm agrees. “Tell me how.”

Cut.

 

 

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“DANCE THE HEMPEN JIG”
FEATURING
PIRATE GOLD & BAD MOTHER FUCKERS

Backstage and there’s a raucous roar erupting down the halls.

It’s the crew of Israel Grimwolf and they’ve captured the woman responsible for trying to sink their vessel.

They stand surrounding Pyre, her hands tied behind her back and a rope around her neck. They force her to her knees with fierce right hands, dropping her where she stood.

Grimwolf and Gable approach, just in time to see her knelt with fingers pointed in her direction.

“You thought you could sink my fuckin’ ship, las?” Israel asks, kneeling before her.

“Your ship?” She says in confusion, unaware of what’s happened – she’s been set up and she knows it. “If I wanted to sink your fuckin’ ship, you wouldn’t be standing here a dry cunt. You’d be wet like your buddy’s pussy,” she continues, nodding with a sneer at an unimpressed Gable.

“The bitch has a sailor’s mouth, alright,” Israel says to a roar from his crew. “Hoist her up – let her dance the hempen jig!”

The crew suddenly start heaving, pulling back on the rope around her neck that we now see is thrown over a piece of beam that makes up the roof. Before you know it, she’s hoisted off the ground, choking with her hands behind her back.

Just then, Zero rushes into the scene like a fucking lightning bolt. He runs past them all, leaps up the wall and springboards into the air, slamming his bionic fist straight through the beam.

It crunches, sending dust falling to the floor with him as he lands, in turn releasing Pyre from her hanging.

Israel rushes forward to attack, but Gable stops him.

“This wasn’t the vision I saw!” He growls angrily. “You’ve done this your way and believe me, I wanted to see it, but now let’s do it mine.”

The Captain reluctantly nods.

Zero gets back to his feet, ready to fight as Pyre recovers on the ground.

“Wait,” The Olympic Hero says to stop the fight. “Let’s talk about this. You’re out numbered, at least twenty to one and she’s in no state to defend herself. As much as I’d love for our creew to rip you to pieces and splatter these walls with your blood, that doesn’t get us what we want. You can walk away, but not without a commitment.”

“The fuck you want, cracker?” The Hacker angrily says, standing over Pyre as if to protect her further.

“A match for the Tag Team Championships at Up in Smoke,” Gable announces. “Pirate Gold versus Bad Mother Fuckers.”

That makes Zero smile.

“You hang my fuckin’ partner like you’re the KKK and all you want is to get your fuckin’ asses kicked?” He says, amused. “Book it, bitch. We’ll see you next week.”

He reaches down to help Pyre back to her feet, helping them slowly back away as the crew reluctantly part to let them pass.

Grimwolf turns to Gable with a nod.

“Impressive matey,” he says proudly, patting him on the shoulder. “Impressive.”

Cut.

 

 

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THE MAIN EVENT
TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS CONTENDERSHIPS
FACES OF REASON VS. KINGS OF THE STONED AGE

Tonight’s main event is all about bouncing back from Double Tap IV! The finalists Faces of Reason take on former champs Kings of the Stoned Age, with the winners earning a future shot at the titles!

Carry On hits the arena as the crowd begin to go wild for the classic OSW theme song. Jessie Williams and Stoner slowly open the entrance doors and walk out onto the ramp, soaking in the cheers for a single moment, before rushing forward.

Jessie and Stoner sprint up the ramp, with Stoner sliding right into the ring and Jessie releasing his boomstick just as he leaves the steel, gripping onto the top rope a good ten feet away and reeling in as he slingshots forward, flipping into the ring, and landing on his feet. Jessie fixes up his gauntlet for a moment before stepping into his corner, getting ready for the war at hand.

The opening strains of “Duality” by Set It Off play around the room as Two-Face and Simon makes their way out to the ring, refusing to pay the booing crowd any mind as they give a nod to each other before entering the ring. After a brief moment, the ref calls for the bell to kick off this main event!

DING DING DING!

The bell rings and after some discussion between the Kings, Stoner steps onto the apron with Jessie looking ready to start things…but the Faces of Reason agree upon a coin flip to decide who starts, and it ends up going in favor of Simon!

Two-Face steps onto the apron as the Taskmaster and the Prince lock up, with the more technical Simon gets the advantage as he slides out of a headlock attempt to lock a hammerlock on Jessie, wrenching it to keep him at bay. Jessie manages to get out of it, sending Simon to the ropes before connecting with a clothesline on the rebound!

Jessie gets a tag to Stoner, who quickly takes the opening with some boots to the Taskmaster before picking Simon up. Stoner with an Irish whip that sends Simon into the corner, but the Taskmaster dodges a shoulder tackle attempt which sends Stoner colliding shoulder first into the turnbuckle as Simon gets a tag to Two-Face!

The man with a crisis of duality manages to keep a singular focus as he rushes into the ring, going immediately after Stoner with some hard lefts and rights! He follows this with some boots to the midsection as Stoner struggles to get back to his feet…only to get dropped with an overdrive neckbreaker by Two-Face!

FLIP THE COIN! TWO-FACE WITH THE COVER, IS THIS IT?

ONE!

TWO!

…NO! JESSIE WILLIAMS WITH THE SAVE VIA A BOOT ON TWO-FACE!

Simon rushes into the ring as chaos erupts, the ref doing his best and failing to keep things in check as Jessie and Simon start brawling, with the bigger Jessie getting an advantage as he sends the Taskmaster back out of the ring before heading back to the apron, reaching his hand out looking for the tag.

Stoner crawls toward his partner, but is cut off as Two-Face grabs him by the leg and drags him to the opposite corner. Simon is back on the apron now as Two-Face tags the Taskmaster in, and the Faces of Reason go to work on Stoner with some hard double-team maneuvers leading to a double vertical suplex!

Two-Face leaves the ring as Simon continues the attack on Stoner, going to work on the leg with some stomps before locking in a single-leg crab to put an exclamation on his statement. Stoner winces in pain as he reaches out, practically clawing his way to the bottom rope…and grabbing it to break the hold!

Simon keeps the hold as the ref starts his count, finally letting go right at the count of four…but the break is far from a clean one, as he lays a boot to the head of Stoner! Simon picks the former tag champion up, looking for a Simonplex…but Stoner fights out of it, dropping Simon with an impaler DDT!

SPANKER DANKER PICKLE! YOU LOVE TO SEE IT! STONER WITH A HOT TAG TO JESSIE WILLIAMS!

Simon’s back to his feet but is no match for the house on fire that is Jessie Williams, as the Prince lays into the Taskmaster with some hard lefts and rights! This sends Simon into the ropes as the Taskmaster bounces off, running right into a Superman Punch!

BOOMSTICK TO SIMON! THE TASKMASTER IS OUT COLD AS JESSIE GOES FOR THE COVER!

…BUT TWO-FACE IS HAVING NONE OF IT, BREAKING THE PIN UP IMMEDIATELY!

Two-Face immediately follows this with some lefts and rights on the Prince, as Stoner rushes in for the save…but gets cut off by Simon, who sends him into the turnbuckle with a bulldog!

TORRE ATTACK! STONER IS DOWN, ROLLING OUT OF THE RING!

Simon joins Two-Face in taking Jessie down now, wearing the Prince down with more double-team maneuvers before Two-Face pulls out his coin! Another coin flip, it looks like we’re about to see Who Does The Honors…and the flip goes to Two-Face! Simon steps back as Two-Face drops the Prince with a swinging reverse STO!

HEADS OR TAILS! TWO-FACE WITH THE COVER ON JESSIE!

ONE!

TWO!

THRE–NO! JESSIE KICKS OUT JUST IN THE NICK OF TIME!

Two-Face and Simon can’t believe it as Jessie slowly gets to his feet, taunting the Faces of Reason to “bring it on” much to their chagrin. Jessie does his best to fight both of them off, eventually sending Simon out of the ring to focus his attention on Two-Face…who drops the Prince with a clothesline!

We see Stoner back up on the apron, chomping at the bit to get tagged in as Two-Face picks Jessie up…only to get rocked with a hard right hand by the Prince! Jessie leaps to his corner, making the hot tag to Stoner as Simon is back on the apron and gets a blind tag off of Two-Face. Stoner charges at the Taskmaster, who catches him with a drop toehold that drives Stoner facefirst into the canvas!

Noticing Jessie back on the apron, he taunts Jessie into trying to get in the ring…and when the Prince does, he’s forced back by the ref. This leaves an opening that the Faces of Reason happily take advantage of as Two-Face steps into the ring to kick Stoner in the gut before hoisting him up for a double-underhook piledriver…but pauses just long enough for a superkick from Simon that connects flush with Stoner!

DOUBLE-HEADED COIN! TWO-FACE DROPS STONER HEADFIRST INTO THE CANVAS!

Jessie breaks away from the ref to stop what’s coming next, but gets cut off by Two-Face! Both men fly out of the ring as Simon quickly locks in the figure-four leglock!

IS THIS A CHECKMATE FOR STONER!?

SIMON’S GOT IT LOCKED IN TIGHT!

STONER’S IN EXTREME PAIN, AND NOWHERE NEAR THE ROPES…FORCING HIM TO TAP OUT!

What a main event! The Kings of the Stoned Age did all they could to get back in the title hunt, but the Faces of Reason are victorious tonight!

 

WINNERS AND #1 CONTENDERS: FACES OF REASON

 

 

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“KILLER CLOWN”
FEATURING
VOYNICH & SEESAW

HOURS LATER…

We find ourselves back at Albert Shaw’s apartment.

The front door was left open.

Which allows SeeSaw to step right back into the very place he put Shaw through hell.

He ranges across the minimalist bachelor pad and right back into Shaw’s bedroom.

“Hello SeeSaw.”

SeeSaw stops in his tracks and tilts his head at his newfound surprise.

“What are you doing here?” SeeSaw asks.

“Looking for you.”

Voynich.

He holds SeeSaw’s knife in his hand.

SeeSaw curtsies. “Here I am,” he replies.

“Indeed,” replies the World Champion.

The two men slowly circle each other, not in an attacking posture, but well-aware of what the other is capable.

“That’s my knife,” SeeSaw says.

“It is,” Voynich replies.

“I want it back,” proclaims SeeSaw.

Voynich chuckles. “You know, last week I did something I never would have felt comfortable with before. I attempted to vanquish my enemy with extreme prejudice. Six bullets to his chest. Before I did it, I didn’t know how I could live with myself. But afterwards, I felt fine. The violence of the whole thing… It fit like a fine-tailored suit.”

“Congratulations,” SeeSaw says. “I admit, it suited you quite well. When I watched what you did… Well… What can I say, Voynich? You inspired me.”

“Glad to be of service,” Voynich nods. “But I’m not here to inspire you.”

“You’re here to kill me,” SeeSaw guesses.

“That’s up to you, clown.”

Voynich spins SeeSaw’s knife in his grasp.

“Revenge is on its way,” Voynich admits. “Sigil will no doubt come for me. Shaw will no doubt come for you. Corvus, Deathnote? They’re coming for us all. Which leaves you and me in quite a vulnerable position.”

“And?” SeeSaw asks simply.

“We are far less vulnerable if we work together.”

Voynich tosses SeeSaw his knife. SeeSaw snatches it out of the air beautifully.

“I need your help,” Voynich exclaims. “And you need mine. I’ll help you so long as you help me.”

SeeSaw chuckles.

“Very well,” the clown extends his hand.

Voynich grasps it.

They shake.

“Good,” Voynich says, and pulls his hand away.

Only he doesn’t.

SeeSaw keeps a firm grasp around it.

Voynich tries to pull away.

“It’s a shame you did that,” SeeSaw states. “Giving my knife back to me. You really shouldn’t have, Voynich. Because me? I don’t want help. I damn sure don’t need help.”

Voynich’s eyes widen.

“But you?” SeeSaw smiles. “You’re going to need all the help you can get.”

SEESAW STABS VOYNICH!

Voynich drops to the floor, bleeding out all over his torso. He’s just been stabbed in the fucking shoulder!

SeeSaw laughs.

“Good luck champ,” SeeSaw says. “In Heaven or Hell, good luck.”

SEESAW LEAVES VOYNICH BLEEDING ON THE GROUND!

BLOOD SPILLS FROM VOYNICH’S SHOULDER…

THERE’S SO MUCH BLOOD!

HIS EYES CLOSE!

Oh…

Oh my fucking god…

Is Voynich dead?

Cut.