A great adventurer always gets his prize.
And a great adventurer always brings his trail mix!
INTRODUCING…
O’Toole’s Explorer Trail Mix!
The greatest trail mix in all of Arcadia!
And what does the greatest trail mix have?
A little bit of everything.
Sweet Children, haven’t you ever wanted to go on an adventure?
To rip a page from an ancient tome and TRACK down the treasure it names?
To venture into certain danger, and emerge victorious?
Well children, so have I.
The Candy Man is ALWAYS looking for a new flavor, a new treasure.
And sometimes, obtaining them requires that Ol’ Teddy O goes on an adventure.
And rest assured, when I’m set to go on adventure, I always bring a handy bag of O’Toole’s Explorer Trail Mix.
It has a little bit of everything.
Everything I need to be successful in my adventure.
Salted pretzel, for added salt to keep my body going when I’m too tired to continue on my own.
Nuts and seeds, for some fiber that will toughen me up when I need it most.
And enough of my patented chocolate chips for a quick boost of energy.
You see sweet children? Whether you’re an ol’ chap like me, or a young chap like yourselves, the ability to fight, endure, and a bit of extra energy are exactly the things that every great adventurer needs!
Drewitt, YOU are everything a great adventurer needs.
You have a little bit of everything. The salt to keep me going. The fiber to toughen me. And the extra energy to boost me up when I needed it most.
You’re just like my O’Toole’s Explorer Trail Mix, Drewitt.
That’s why I’m bringing you along.
To use you.
So you can help me obtain what I desire.
That sick feeling in your gut, like something is wrong?
Don’t worry, ol’ chap. Thats just me, reaching in and pulling a handful of you right out.
So that you can give me what I need.
Because a great adventurer always gets his prize, Drewitt. And believe me, sport. There’s never been a prize I’ve wanted and haven’t obtained. One way or the other, the Candy Man always wins.
Isn’t that right, SWEET CHILDREN?
And for every prize I’ve won, for every adventure I’ve taken, make no mistake.
I’ve always brought a trusty bag of trail mix.
I know, it is a hard candy to swallow. But never the less, swallow it. I know first hand how it feels to be the trail mix on an adventure, and I will never experience it again.
But you?
It’s your destiny to be another adventurer’s trail mix.
You’ve got a little bit of everything.
Everything a man like me needs to get what he wants.
But you lack that one ingredient a man like me has to begin with. That flavor that takes something like candy and makes an enterprise.
There’s nothing enterprising about your flavor, Drewitt.
So who can obtain the fabled ambrosia?
The Candy Man can…
Thanks to O’Toole’s Explorer Trail Mix!