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Three-In-One Special

Three-In-One Special

I try to come up with individualized treatment plans for each of my patients.

It’s so important to determine the precise needs they have in order to get them exactly what they need. The quicker you can pinpoint the most viable intervention, the higher the probability for a better outcome for the patient.

But we all have those kind of days in the office.

It was a busy day in the emergency ward, and I had these three patients that demanded my immediate attention at the end of my shift.

The first one had been hounding me all day about these ghosts that he claimed were haunting him into madness. I consulted psychiatry.

The second was complaining of excruciating stomach pain. I ordered a full diagnostic work up and prescribed him a painkiller until results were in.

Then the third patient was wheeled in emergently on a morphine drip. Though half of his body was sawed off, the faith he showed in recovery was moving.

Now I have three patients that my team and I have to come up with plans for and take care of based on their diagnoses.

Firstly, we have patient MC. He comes to Olympus with a history of violence and cleansing. It’s driven him mad, and his psychotic break has led him to me so I can provide him peace and quiet.

Next is patient BT. He, like MC, has a complicated history, but his dietary choices have ultimately led him to the hunger and pain he experiences today.

And lastly is patient DB. He may appear as half a man, but the mighty strength and faith he possesses allows him to cope with how his disadvantages will lead to to certain death here.

You three remind me of my patients on that fateful day.

So when you’re slammed with as much work as I am, sometimes you have to cut corners. And that day at the office was just one of those days.

Mannfred, like that psych patient, your haunting hallucinations are preventable with medication, but your psychosis is ultimately incurable.

Blacktooth, similar to that patient in pain, I’m afraid your unquenchable hunger comes from terminal stomach cancer due to poor eating habits.

And Destructo Boy, much like my actively dying patient, I appreciate your strong faith in yourself, but your naivety blinds you to the greater issue at large: you’re going to die here.

So for your treatment plans, I have no choice but to do to you three what I had to do all those years ago.

I’m putting you all on comfort care because I just don’t have the time to deal with all your bullshit, and what works best for one of you will just have to work for all of you today.

I can grant Mannfred his peace and quiet, finally quench Blacktooth’s hunger, and be the hero that Destructo Boy is holding out for without wasting precious time or resources.

Call it a three-in-one special.

Honestly, you’ll all thank me for preventing your prolonged suffering here.

Because today’s just another day at the office, and I have plans for later tonight.