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That One Station

That One Station

“Everyone listens to the radio. Whether you’re in your car or fiddling with Spotify on your phone, you’re listening to it in some form or another.”

“Of course, people don’t just listen to it. They’re messing with the frequencies trying to find a song that they can enjoy listening to and vibe with.”

“Too bad that’s harder than it sounds. Most of the shit that’s on the radio is either overplayed trash or an abomination to the music industry.”

“You’d be better off finding a fucking needle in a haystack than you would a banger on the radio these days.”

“Let me take you through an average day of me listening to tunes on my boombox to give you an idea of how hard it is.”

“I turn on my radio and immediately hear some repetitive ass song that everyone and their grandfather is sick of hearing. Those Bad Motherfuckers play that kind of song so often, you’d think they’re trying to drill how tough they are into your head.”

“We get it, you’re desperate to seem cool and awesome to everyone in the arena. There’s no need to repeat that talking point until you’re blue in the face.”

“So I change the station and end up getting the music of someone like Generation Kid, the kind of shit that literally went out of style in the 80’s and hasn’t been cool since the 90’s.”

“I change stations again and end up with the stylings of STARBOY, who thinks playing the same cheesy love song I’ve heard dozens of times already will get my panties wet.”

“Newsflash, your they them cock is not getting anywhere near this pussy until you try something new.”

“Vigour comes from a world without creativity, and when I tuned into him, it showed. His song is the anthem of every ‘unique’ teen that wishes that they were just as cool as they think they are.”

“I adjusted the dial again and heard the edgy and cacophonic tunes of Deathnote and Viper Roberts, who think they’re just so badass and mysterious with their melodies.”

“In actuality, they’re little pussy bitches. Deathnote’s more likely to bitch and moan the moment things don’t go as written. Roberts meanwhile will and run away when confronted without his posse to back him up.”

“Just when I’m about to turn off the radio and go tag some shit with the boys in absolute silence, I find the tune that I’ve been searching for.”

“I find my station.”

“I don’t try to convince people that I’m something I’m not.”

“I’m not dated or something you’ve heard thousands of times already.”

“I’m a cool son of a bitch that doesn’t complain or flee the scene without help.”

“I’m the station that everyone tunes in to when they want something new and fresh to listen to. And at Lambs to the Slaughter, they’re going to hear my music as I walk out the winner of the Pandemonium match.”

“Prepare to bust a groove to Electric Moves.