And I remember watching that flick as a kid and thinking it was cool as hell. The director went off on those special effects, and Arnold doing the fancy flip thing with his shotgun, and that classic canal truck chase.
It was everything that you could ever want or need in an action movie – and that’s all it was.
Now that I’ve lived a little, it kinda scares the shit out’a me.
Because the Odawara clan kind of feels like what Skynet would have been had it been around, you know, 600 years ago, with a little bit of Harry Potter wizardry seasoning on the top.
And then I get even more bamboozled when I realize that machinery evolution started almost a millennium ago, and humankind just started paying attention to that shit in the last thirty one years.
So then in my panic state, I feel like I have to watch Terminator 2 again. because I don’t remember how it ends and I’ll feel better if I at least know that there’s a semi-positive conclusion to all of this – even though it’s just a movie with a guy that went on to play the lead role in Jingle All The Way.
Like I said, baby, Albert Shaw’s got one hell of a foot.
Either way, the conclusion was… friendship.
Whether it’s the Odawara clan or Skynet or whatever, a techno-magical prowess like that is gon’ create an inferiority complex, ya’dig? And that complex is going to make everyone scatter, thinking that it’s everyone for themselves.
You think these motherfuckas’ made it to the second half of the movie? Hell no.
You know who did? The mother, her son, and Arnold.
They used the numbers game and developed a bond that was tighter than Tag’s most treasured cock ring, and went on a journey to vanquish the beast.
Because of the integrity of that union, the world continued to spin. Even better, we got a threequel. And because of that threequel, the story of this union didn’t have to end.
In fact, much like the Odawara, that union evolved.
It grew wiser to the machine’s ways of thinking, ya’dig? Humankind, as we know it, started fighting back in the end, we survived the worst case scenarios.
That’s right, survived.
Jet Set Radio ain’t superheroes – but we’re resilient.
We ain’t gon’ eliminate an arcane savage like Tenchu for good – but watch and see if he ain’t got a couple dents and a few critical components missing after the three of us get done with him.
We ain’t gon’ rid the world of a clan that’s stood every test of time thrown at ’em – but as sure as shit on a newborn baby’s ass, they’ll remember our names.
So don’t leave when the credits start to roll, because that’s when the the good stuff begins.
We’re here for the threequel baby – all the way to the stratosphere!