In Promo by Ether

“I used to frequent an ice cream parlor back when I was a young girl. This place was notorious for having loads of toppings to garnish your order with.”

“One day I was feeling a bit adventurous and asked for a vanilla sundae with some of every topping they had. Sprinkles, Oreo cookie crumbles, caramel, hot fudge, peanuts, you name it, that shit went on my boat.”

“The moment I took that first bite, I nearly spat it right back out. There was too much flavor in that concoction for me to handle.”

“Instead of making something that I enjoyed, I created a mess that absolutely nobody would like. The second I stepped out of the shop, I threw that monstrosity away and left it for the bugs.”

“Sure it was a waste of five bucks, but I walked away learning a lesson that I won’t ever forget.”

“A lesson that one Starboy will soon be learning himself.”

“You’re quite the sex freak, aren’t you? Day in and day out, all you want to do is fuck some bitches until they cream all over your face.”

“You know a lot of methods to nail those holes too. You’ve done the classic missionary and doggy style. You’ve gotten more complex with the sphinx and snow angel. Hell, you even threw in every single toy you owned just to please a peep.”

“Yet no matter what you try out, you simply don’t spend long enough time with to enjoy any of them.”

“You’re like me when I was little. You’re too busy trying everything that you end up making the nastiest shit possible just to say you did it.”

“You could use the quality time with your partner to create an experience that you both can walk away satisfied with. Instead, you’d rather use that time to be unique and end up conceiving something that’s absolute dogshit.”

“You’re all about pleasing your partners, aren’t you? Well nobody is going to be pleased with your experimenting if all they end up with is shit on their tongue and some five dollar regret in the back of their minds.”

“Since you want to experiment, I’ve got a position I want to try on you. A new flavor of the month straight from Jet Set Radio. It’s called ‘Ether wins’. Want to know how it works? I knock your ass down to the mat and cover you for the three count.”

“It’ll be a painful position for you. I’ll be beating the crap out of you until you can no longer stand. You’ll end up with blood on your face and your pin-prick dick lookin’ like the saddest banana in the sundae.”

“What’s that? Sounds like too many toppings from this hungry girl for you to handle? Well, maybe you’ll learn something then.”

“I’m going to enjoy devouring you, Starboy. You’ll be served with all of my favorite garnishes and swallowed in one gulp.”

“Because your girl don’t need anything more than some Ether sauce and Tag nuts to make this sundae.”

“A hungry girl’s gotta eat.”