Snake in the Bed

In Promo by Sir Bellator

“When you lay down with snakes, expect to be bitten.”

A vet was once presented with a strange case.

A man owned an enormous python. Every night, the man would sleep with the python in his bed. In what he thought was a beautiful bonding moment, the python would curl itself gently around the man’s body from his head to his feet as they slumbered. But the man grew concerned for the snake’s health and brought his pet python to the vet. It seemed to be sick, the snake seemed to be starving and would not eat.

When the vet asked about the daily routine of the snake, the owner found a grave revelation. The python was fasting in order to prepare itself for one large meal. It would curl itself around the owner’s body gently as to size out its meal. What the owner had mistaken for loving support, the snake’s true intentions were far more sinister.

For snakes will always be snakes.

Simon thought that he was the owner of a great snake. A three headed beast that would devour everything in its sight.

He thought that his best laid plans could never fail and that Jet Set Radio would strike a bond that would see them take down the might of Luke Storm.

And true to his word, the three-headed python has shown us flashes of that danger.

Wiz claimed the Rewind Championship.

They made their way to the finals of Triosmania.

But in all reality, Jet Set Radio have proved to be nothing more than a trio of sin-fuelled stooges who continue to fall at the final hurdle.

Much akin to a snake starving itself.

But Simon kept right on trusting that python, waiting for the windfall that it would bring him.

Only, it wasn’t starving itself out of loyalty to its owner.

It was simply measuring him up.

Ready to feast on one big meal.

And feast Wiz did.

Just not on the target we were expecting.

You see, Wiz is a snake. A sinner hell bent on looking out for number one. A snake with a killer instinct to survive, to hunt.

He hunted down his Championship and tasted blood.

But at Pandemonium, he fasted… Until the opportune moment.

When he would reveal his true colours.

What the rest of Jet Set Radio saw as bonding and furthering their own mission, Wiz used as opportunity.

So that when he struck, they wouldn’t see him coming.

And you didn’t.

Tag, Ether… You have a snake in your bed. A flaw in your mission that’s derailed all of your owner’s precious plans.

Vayikra has no such snake in our midst.

Our mission is not flawed by a weak link starving itself to strike us in our sleep.

We are united and our mission is flawless.

Tonight, our mission will be won in unity, where yours will be lost by the sin of your own python choking the life out of Jet Set Radio.

Because snakes will always be snakes.

And sinners will always be sinners.