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Shaken Soda

Shaken Soda

“We’ve all shaken up a can of soda before. It was amusing to hear it fizz up all pissed off and angry like.”

“Shaking that fucking thing like Tag jacks off his monster cock until it nearly explodes was a common past time for me as a kid. I liked the way it bulged up against the can to the point of near eruption as if it needed to release that pent up anger immediately.”

“The moment you pull that tab? Shit geysers out everywhere and sprays you for a little bit before you’re left with a just about empty can.”

“It might not sound that bad, but you’ve never gotten hit with that shit now, have you?”

“It makes a mess out of your clothes, hair, your belongings, whatever the hell have you. It was sticky and couldn’t be washed away easily, no matter how many times you scrub away at them.”

“In the end, the only person that comes out clean is the one that held the can in the first place.”

“Reminds me a bit of you, Pyre. You’ve been bottling up that anger towards me and the rest of my Jet Set Radio buddies for quite a while now, haven’t you?”

“You’ve been shaking and and quivering for a chance to unleash that rage ever since you’ve stepped out of Hell’s Mouth. Worse yet, we’ve been shaking you up until you were damn near ready to explode.”

“The moment someone opens your top, you’re going to spray fire everywhere. Into the crowd, all over the arena, and onto your micromachine dicked friend in Zero.”

“But it won’t hit us. We’re the ones that are holding the can and spraying the soda into the awestruck onlookers while you erupt all over their faces.”

“You’re going to hurt your friends more than you’ll hurt us. We’ve shaken you up so much that you can’t control powers. The bad motherfuckers that fight with you and support you will be drenched in fire while we walk away without a singe.”

“Come Monday night, we’ll shake you up one more time and pop open your lid in front of all those fans that wanted you to kick our asses.”

“You’ll spray your rage across the ringside area and splash those outside of your crosshairs with destructive force. You’ll be so blinded with hatred for us that you won’t even realize you’re hurting those you consider friends.”

“By the time you realize what you’ve done, it’ll be too late for you to rectify the damage. The burns will be everywhere and we, your intended targets, will be laughing at you while we walk away with your most treasured possessions.”

“So go ahead, fire bitch. Save up that anger for Bad Attitude. It’ll only serve us the victory on a silver platter with a side of mashed potatoes.”

“I’m a hungry girl, as you know by now. When that bell rings, this hungry girl is going to eat you and your battery operated buddy well done!”