“Welcome one and all to the Foley Funhouse!”
“Dental hygiene is extremely important. If you don’t brush your teeth regularly, you may end up with tooth decay. Don’t listen to me though, children; listen to my good friend Sandy The Tooth.”
“Close your eyes…”
“Go to sleep.”
“Imagine a pristine set of pearly white teeth – big, bold, and beautiful. They’re perfect. But the owner of these teeth decides to neglect them. He stops brushing as regularly. Now, for the most part, many of the teeth manage just fine. They don’t appreciate being forgotten or sparsely paid mind, but they’re satisfied with growing yellow and dirty.”
“Only one tooth isn’t satisfied with just that. This tooth decides to go rotten. It slowly becomes infected and disturbed – chipping away at the enamel of surrounding teeth like some kind of meal. As its infection forces those around it to suffer, it grows darker, blacker and causes pain.”
“Excruciating, agonizing pain.”
“And the tooth, it revels in that. It enjoys it – it adores it. The tooth eventually becomes black and for as long as it’s in the mouth, it makes every day a joyless, agonizing, horrible day.”
“Blacktooth – you’re in the mouth of Arcadia and for the longest time you’ve been neglected. You’ve grown tired of that neglect, and it has made you rotten. You now feast on the destruction of those around you, infecting the teeth and gums of Arcadia daily.”
“You feast upon other teeth, chipping away at them, bite by bite, until there’s nothing but pain and despair in abundance around you.”
“Because one rotten black tooth will spoil a set of teeth.”
“Just like one Blacktooth spoils Arcadia.”
“But you see children, there’s a way to stem this infection. There’s a way to stop it from rotting away the other teeth – from destroying Arcadia. You can’t fix it by brushing the problem away. You can’t hide from it or pretend it isn’t happening.”
“To fix the mouth, stop the pain and rectify the teeth, you must extract the black tooth.”
“And for that, you need a Dentist.”
“There’s more than the VHS Championship on the line next week, Blacktooth. There’s a whole bunch of teeth in a beautiful looking mouth that need rescuing.”
“And Felix Foley is your dentist.”
“Sweet Dreams, Blacktooth.”
“Erm, I don’t mean to a pest Sandy, but I’m not actually a dentist.”
“Yes, in this instance Felix, you are. You’ll be the one to extract the rotten Blacktooth from Arcadia.”
“I mean, I don’t have any training or anything. Do you really think I can extract the black tooth? What happens if I get the wrong one by mistake?”
“It’s black, Felix; pretend you’re a police officer and you won’t miss it.”
“Alright, if you say so.”
“Well kids, I suppose that leads us to Foley’s Thought.”
“Don’t be like Arcadia and let your teeth rot, or else you’ll end up with a black tooth and need a dentist. Look after your teeth and they’ll look after you.”
“Hang on Sandy, if Arcadia is the mouth and let its teeth rot and we’re the teeth, who owns the mouth?”
“Who’s the naughty boy who hasn’t looked after his teeth?”