You’ve heard the phrase “a window into the soul”, I take it? I thought it was fucking hilarious when I heard it. On Eden we don’t believe in souls, or any of that spiritual bullshit. Only straight facts and things you can see and touch. So when someone told me that my eyes were a window into my soul I laughed. I laughed harder than I’d ever laughed before. I told them they were making shit up.
The idea that the eyes can give away something that the rest of the body is hiding is crazy to someone like me. But that person, who said they could see into my soul – they could see me. They could see the pain I’d been through. The things I’d lost. And they could see then from just my eyes.
She’d been taken into this alternative world where she lived the things I’d lived, vicariously through me. That was the day I started believing in souls.
I believe you have a soul, too, Sigil, though you aren’t great at showing it. The things you’ve done since you showed up here in OSW are almost endless and they’re littered with cruel things. Mean things. But you cover your eyes with that mask, thinking nobody will see your soul. Thinking that if you can just hide it they won’t see the pain.
The pain doesn’t stop existing just because other people can’t see it, Sigil. It manifests itself. It takes you somewhere – to a whole different plane even. The eyes are like a portal to the soul, but you can’t turn them off like you can with your portals. You’ve spent so long hopping planes to escape yourself that you’ve forgotten what its like to feel.
But your portals can’t fool me. You can run as much as you like but those portals will never lead you anywhere but right back here. You have to stop living vicariously through those portals and live in the here and now.
Why?
Because deep down there is a fucking soul in there, I know it. And that soul wants to make things right. You harness incredible power with all the stones you’ve collected. There’s a million and one things you could do to any single one of us here in OSW. But you don’t. Because you want to change. I can see it in you. I’ve seen through the window into your soul Sigil, and I know. I know the pain. I’ve felt loss just like you. And I know more pain and loss is the last thing you want. I know other people feeling those same feelings you feel is the worst thing you could imagine.
So stop with your portals, and stop pretending to run, and just let people in to the only portal that matters. Let people see the real you, at long last.
Show me your fucking peepers, Sigil.
Let’s do it now, and do it loud!