Static covers the screen as a Play ► symbol appears in the bottom right-hand corner.
Somewhere, in the middle of no-where; in the middle of space itself. In the void of black that is space, we witness a glass like chamber, looking out into the abyss.
This chamber has many different visions strewn upon it, almost like screens, each displaying something different.
We focus on just one, for now.
[ Mordecai ] “What’re you doing?”
He growls at his brother.
[ Mordecai ] “You’re using power you shouldn’t. You’re giving Luke Storm premonitions? Do you understand how dangerous that is, brother? You’re crossing a line.”
The Sandman shrugs, stepping towards Mordecai.
[ Deathnote ] “Such matters that are beyond the scope of your creation. Even your brother knows of your mistake.”
[ Deathnote ] “Do you really think that you’ll only answer to me? At Red Snow, you caught the attention of something else. Something even you should be afraid of. Something not many know exist.”
That stops The Sandman in his tracks.
[ The Sandman ] “That’s a fallacy.”
Suddenly, we hear something so thunderous, it booms against our eardrums. The power of the noise puts a pressure inside our head that reverberates and then abruptly stops.
It leaves but a tingle behind.
It felt much worse.
All that echoes in remnants of that deafening ear drum bursting boom is a sound that we can barely make out.
[ Unknown ] “போதும.”
A circle of chair is set out upon the linoleum floor of a community centre hall. A group of unfamiliar faces sit around. Among them, Pyre and Zero sit.
All eyes seem to be trained on one bespectacled man, the one holding the clipboard and a name-tag that reads ‘Dr. Floyd’, who speaks in a soft voice.
[ Dr. Floyd ] “Okay group. We’re going to practice that breathing we learnt earlier. In through the nose, hold, out through the mouth, hold. Very good.”
He scans the room, but pauses on Pyre. Reading her frustration, he beckons for her to share.
[ Pyre ] “I don’t know why I’m here. I’m not weak. I know how to handle myself. This is just a waste of my time.”
Dr. Floyd isn’t put off by her lack of enthusiasm, he simply smiles warmly at her again.
[ Dr. Floyd ] “I’m sure that is all true. But humour me. Tell us what you would need to ‘handle yourself’ from.”
Pyre seems momentarily disarmed, beginning her statement very slowly.
[ Pyre ] “No… I can handle myself. I don’t need your mumbo jumbo bullshit.”
She stands, seething in the anger the bubbles underneath the surface.
Zero stands too, going to place his bandaged hand on her shoulder, but stopping himself before he touches her… remembering.
[ Zero ] “Be a hero in the fucking ring Pyre. Right now, you need to get your shit under control, I’m not ending up toasted because you didn’t want to fucking breathe!”
Before Dr. Floyd can speak again, he is interrupted from a voice calling across the room from the buffet table.
[ Ether ] “I’d listen to him. He may be part robot, but he’s not stupid.”
Stuffing a few donuts into her mouth, Ether begins to walk across the room, flanked by Tag. Tag tosses her a steel chair to match the one he carries with him. The rest of the group hightail it in a flurry of scattered chairs.
Zero and Pyre stand up off their own chairs, fold them up and come to meet their foes in the centre of the circle. The only one left sitting is Dr. Floyd who speaks in a voice calm as water.
[ Dr. Floyd ] “Now now, this is a safe place. Let’s keep it that way.”
His pleads fall on deaf ears. Jet Set Radio clobber Zero and Pyre over the head and take them both down to their knees with a clatter of falling chairs. Ether raises her chair above her head, looking for the killing blow on Pyre as Tag does the same for Zero.
That is until what seems like an explosion erupts from Pyre. Ether, Tag, Zero, Dr. Floyd and the collection of chairs all are sent flying as flames erupt around the community centre hall. Pyre sits, seething in anger in the epicentre of the explosion, while the carnage around her settles. It is not Jet Set Radio, not Zero but Dr. Floyd himself who is first to speak. He does so, frothing at the mouth in a rage.
[ Dr. Floyd ] “You fucking assholes! This is a place of anger management and look what you have done. Now fuck off, the lot of you, and don’t fucking come back!”
But Jet Set Radio have already gone, leaving BMF to face the aftermath. Two things are clear. Pyre does not have that anger under control… and JSR are under her skin.
TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS MATCH
BAD MOTHER FUCKERS © vs. JET SET RADIO
These fierce rivals get one more crack at battle against each other— but will it settle the war?
DING DING DING!
Zero moves to the apron and Pyre steps forward, pointing to Ether and begging for her to bring it on!
Ether looks to the crowd, who’s on their feet in anticipation, and waves them off, stepping through the ropes to the apron to a chorus of boos.
Tag instead steps forward, taking it all in, and points at Pyre—
HE CROTCH CHOPS HER!
“SUCK IT!” he taunts.
Pyre’s incensed! She launches herself at Tag before he can regain his composure—
Pyre takes Mr. Money Shot down to the canvas and is raining fists down on him! Rights and lefts, Tag is trying desperately to get to his feet but Pyre catches him in a side headlock. She wrenches it in as Tag yelps out! Tag reaches for Ether—
SIDE HEADLOCK TAKEDOWN!
Pyre tosses Tag flat onto his back again—
SHE’S TRANSITIONING INTO A TRIANGLE CHOKE—
NO! TAG KICKS PYRE IN THE FACE!
Pyre’s grip is loosened now—
ANOTHER KICK TO THE FACE!
Pyre stumbles off Tag, allowing him a moment to breathe. But before he can tag Ether in, Pyre grabs ahold of his foot and pulls him in to face her—
SHE FLIPS HIM THE BIRD!
TAG COUNTERS INTO AN ENZIGURI!
Pyre is shook, but she takes one last stab at Tag—
BAPTISM BY FIRE!
NO— TAG DUCKS THE SUPERKICK!
FIVE STAR FACIAL!!
THE BICYCLE KICK KNOCKS PYRE BACK INTO HER CORNER!!
Pyre slams the mat in frustration! Small flickers emanate from her fingertips as Tag mimes fellating a cock and balls at her!
Pyre flings herself up, but before she can attack, a friendly hand on her shoulder steadies her.
Sensing his partner’s impending rage, Zero tags himself in.
“I got this,” he says.
Zero marches up to Tag with purpose—
TAG CHOKES ON IT!!
But Tag maneuvers himself to his corner and the ref counts to FOUR before Zero is forced to relinquish the choke.
Tag puts his hand out— and Ether happily tags in.
Ether skates at Zero, who leapfrogs over her. Ether rebounds off the ropes and skates back at Zero faster this time— Zero lays flat on the ground and Ether is forced to jump over him! Again rebounding off the ropes, Ether is starting to lose her balance and she sputters right into a bionic clothesline from Zero—
Without wasting any time, Zero rebounds off the ropes to the sitting Ether—
Zero rolls back into a cover—
ETHER KICKS OUT!!
Zero yanks The Bad Random up by her hair now, and lifts her up on his shoulders—
IT’S BURNING HAMMER TIME!!
BUT TAG HAS JUMPED INTO THE RING AND LUNGES AT ZERO—
NO!! THE REF STEPS IN BETWEEN; HE WON’T ALLOW THIS TITLE MATCH TO BREAK DOWN!!
Except he has.
While the ref ushers Tag back to his corner Ether has slipped out of Zero’s grasp and pulled something out of her pocket—
THE LOLLIPOP KILL!!
SHE SHOVED IT RIGHT DOWN HIS THROAT!!
Zero collapses to the mat, giving Ether just enough time to tag Tag in.
After pulling the candy out from his windpipe, Zero can only gasp for air as Ether pulls him up by the arm. Tag leapfrogs him from behind—
NO COMPLY! FUCK YA FACE!
POP SHOVED IT!!
THE FAMEASSER-SOLE FOOD COMBO REPROGRAMMED ZERO!!
ZERO KICKS OUT!!
Ether tags back in, and Tag lifts Zero up high into a stalling suplex…
Tag drops Zero headfirst to the mat in a sharp, jerking MCTWIST as Ether drills him with an ETHER STRIKE—
HOW MUCH MORE ABUSE CAN ZERO TAKE??
DOES ZERO HAVE ANYTHING LEFT IN THE TANK??
PYRE STOMPS ON ETHER TO BREAK THE COUNT!!
Pyre continues her onslaught on Ether with a flurry of fists as the ref tries to maintain some order!!
The ref bearhugs Pyre off her nemesis back into her corner, scolding her as Tag takes this opportunity to blatantly give Zero a low blow—
BLACK AND BLUE BALLS!!
Pyre is appealing to the ref but he didn’t see any of it!!
The crowd is all fired up—
The chant breaks out at Tag as Mr. Money Shot tags back in. Pyre finally relents, but not without inadvertently roasting the ref, and begs Zero to tag her in!
Meanwhile, Tag climbs the turnbuckle to the top rope, pausing a moment to take in all the boos before reaching the top.
Tag raises his arms and grinds his hips—
AND LEAPS AT ZERO WITH A BIG SPLASH—
MR. MONEY SHOT WAS BLUE-BALLED, LANDING RIB FIRST ONTO ZERO’S KNEES!!!
Tag clutches his midsection, writhing in pain as Zero tries to locate his corner!
Pyre is stomping on the apron—
The crowd is clapping with her—
Zero crawls towards her—
Tag scoots himself with one arm towards Ether…
FLAMES ARE FLICKERING ON PYRE’S HANDS— SHE’S ON FIRE!!
ETHER IS RUBBING HER BELLY— SHE’S A HUNGRY GIRL!!
THE ROOF IS GONNA BLOW OFF THE SLAUGHTERHOUSE!!!
THEY BOTH REACH OUT—
Pyre and Ether launch themselves into the ring and Ether skates right into a clothesline!
THE FIRE BITCH IS BURNING UP!!!
Tag, who may have a few broken ribs, hobbles towards her but is met with a swift kick to the gut, bending him over—
FIRE CROTCH CHOP FROM PYRE—
SHE PLANTS TAG WITH AN X-FACTOR!!
FIRE IN THE BELLY!!
Pyre tells Tag to shove it, and when she turns about face her arm is grabbed by Ether, who goes to fall back—
FUCK YA FACE—
Pyre never allowed Ether to fall to the ground, falling back herself, wrapping her legs around Ether’s arm and countering into a triangle choke—
FIRE TRIANGLE!! IT’S LOCKED IN!!
Ether reaches out— she’s fading…
BUT HERE COMES TAG—
Zero surprises him from behind with his big, black ANACONDA VICE—
BIONIC VICE IS LOCKED IN ON THE MAT!!
TAG AND ETHER ARE FACE TO FACE BESIDE ONE ANOTHER IN AGONY!!!
THE JET SETTERS HOLD HANDS IN SOLIDARITY AS THEY SCREAM IN PAIN!!!
THEY’RE SHAKING THEIR HEADS NO— THEY WON’T TAP!!!
IN UNISON, THE JET SETTERS FLIP OFF THE BMF’ERS IN DEFIANCE!!!
Pyre and Zero exchange a look of frustration before rearing back one last time—
ZERO’S BIONIC ARM TIGHTENS AROUND TAG’S NECK—
AND FLAMES ERUPT AROUND ETHER’S HEAD—
TAG AND ETHER BOTH FRANTICALLY TAP OUT!!!
The Bad Mother Fuckers are victorious after another brutal battle in this endless war!
WINNERS AND STILL TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: BAD MOTHER FUCKERS
Backstage, there is a tension in the halls of the Slaughterhouse. It’s that time of year when the competitors are chomping at the bit to send the rest of these lambs to slaughter.
It’s the sort of electricity that The Impaler has learned to dwell in, as he prepares himself for a more immediate battle.
Right now, he cannot concern himself with staking a claim at the World Championship. He has to set his mind on putting a stop to whatever plan Chronoa is carrying out…and in doing so, take the Double Feature Championship away from the Harbinger of Fate.
The thought of changing his own destiny intrigues him…excites him, even…and this excitement is evident in the ebb and flow of the power residing within him.
Which draws a chuckle from off in the distance, distracting Legion for a moment. He turns his attention to the doorway, where he sees…her.
A smirk on her face, something The Impaler has seen one too many times by now.
[ Chronoa ] “Look at you, Legion. Getting yourself all worked up, and for what? To change something you have no control over?”
From what little of his face is exposed, we see a semblance of a snarl.
[ The Impaler ] “What business have you here, witch? I said I would rewrite my destiny, but I’ll do so in the right and proper manner…and I will take that as my trophy.”
He points to the Double Feature Championship around Chronoa’s waist, which only draws another chuckle from the Keeper of History.
[ Chronoa ] “Legion, haven’t you wondered at all where this sudden surge of power came from? Or have you already forgotten the events of Night City? Because I haven’t. It’s my place in this world to know what happened, to be better prepared for what’s to come. It’s clear to me that you haven’t learned to control this power…so when I break you down, you’ll come to accept my offer.”
Her next statement comes with a wicked grin, seeing the anger–and electricity–fluctuate inside the Dread Pirate Roberts of Pro Wrestling.
[ Chronoa ] “You’ll make a fine weapon, Impaler. If you can’t accept your role in the grand scheme of things, I can pull the plug just as quickly. Either way, you cannot fight fate.”
With that, the Keeper of History walks off, leaving The Impaler to stew over these words as the power becomes too much for him to bear…and all hell breaks loose, with Legion breaking clean through the doorway in pursuit of his foe!
But she’s gone without a trace.
What state will we find The Impaler in when he collides with Chronoa tonight!?
Vigour looks very out of place sitting inside of a drab doctor’s office. But he is there nonetheless, sitting across from the same doctor that ran scans on him just a few weeks ago.
[ Doctor ] “Thank you, Mister Vigour, for coming in on such short notice.”
The Good Time Guy doesn’t exactly look happy to be there.
[ Vigour ] “Just Vigour is fine, Doctor. You sounded panicked when you rang me. What’s up?”
Shuffling some papers on his desk, the Doctor pushes one across the table. On it is a photo of Vigour’s brain.
[ Doctor ] “I’ve been studying you… the tests I ran anyway. Obviously, I’ve kept my findings secret, but there is something here you need to see.”
He takes a marker and draws a bright red circle around a part of the alien brain.
[ Doctor ] “When I was scanning you, I was getting massive amounts of interference. It took me a week or so, but I figured out that it’s some type of object emitting a mutated radio signal. Alien in origin… obviously.”
[ Vigour ] “Before you ask, that’s not part of my anatomy… to my knowledge, anyway.”
The Doctor sighs.
[ Doctor ] “If that Kid friend of yours was here, he’d be saying “E.T. Phone Home” right about now.”
Vigour looks confused.
[ Doctor ] “Nevermind. The important thing for you to know is that this signal is very powerful. It’s shooting straight into space, and then to god knows where.”
Vigour stands up, crumpling the piece of paper.
[ Vigour ] “God may not know, but I do.”
Turning around, Vigour leaves without a word, leaving a stunned doctor behind.
Is this object embedded in his brain sending a signal to them?
THE SANDMAN vs. MORDECAI
The bell rings but Mordecai doesn’t look ready to fight! The chains glowing around his neck have him barely standing as he weakly stays in his corner!
Mordecai leans in his ring corner as sweat pours down his face! But Sandman doesn’t have any intentions of letting him off easy as he approaches him and grabs him by his throat! He Biel tosses him across the ring with ease! Mordecai tries to crawl away but Sandman grabs his foot and drags him back!
DEADLIFT WHEELBARROW SUPLEX!
Mordecai lands with a pitiful bounce as his devilish brother grabs him and forces him up! He whips him into the ropes!
BIG BOOT TO THE JAW!
Like a shotgun blast that boot knocks the Guardian fucking silly! He’s out on his back but Sandman is enjoying inflicting his agony as he peels his brother up!
HAYMAKER! HAYMAKER! HAYMAKER!
The rights and lefts land flush and Mordecai is almost knocked out on his feet! He stumbles back into the ropes groggily and comes back!
MORDECAI IS TOO WEAK! HIS BLOWS ARE PRACTICALLY USELESS AGAINST SANDMAN!
As the Guardian bounces off of the demon Sandman lets out a deafening cackle! He headbutts Mordecai! Another! Another! He whips him back into the ropes!
END OF DAYS! DEEP FUCKING SLEEP BY SANDMAN! THE RING SHAKES BENEATH THE IMPACT OF THAT SLAM!
“You’re going to die out here, brother. Should have left me alone.”
Sandman slides out of the ring! He grabs a steel chair and comes back in! He watches with glee as Mordecai weakly pulls at his chains before rising the chair!
MY GOD! SANDMAN IS MURDERING MORDECAI RIGHT HERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!
THIRTEEN FUCKING CHAIR SHOTS! MORDECAI ISN’T EVEN MOVING AFTER THAT! HIS WHITE HAIR HAS TURNED A CRIMSON RED!
Sandman drops the chair, the metal bent and mangled beyond recognition! He reaches down, pulling Mordecai up by his bloodied hair! Despite his beating, however, Mordecai is still pulling at his chains!
“It’s futile, Mordecai. You failed.”
But Mordecai speaks!
It’s but a whisper, Sandman’s cackle returning as Mordecai’s fist tightens around the chains!
HOLY SHIT! MORDECAI JUST SHATTERED THE CHAINS IN HIS HANDS! HE USED ALL OF HIS STRENGTH TO PULL THEM APART! A GREEN SHOCKWAVE ERUPTS FORTH THAT SENDS SANDMAN BACKWARDS!
When the dust clears Sandman finds himself staring down Mordecai, his chains ripped free from his neck! He rushes him!
MORDECAI CATCHES SANDMAN WITH A MASSIVE BACK BODY DROP! THE DREAM DEMON MUST BE TEN FEET IN THE AIR AS HE FLIES OVER THE TOP ROPES TO THE CONCRETE BELOW!
Sandman tries to get to his feet! He grabs onto the barricade to stand!
BUT MORDECAI ISN’T FINISHED! HE HITS THE ROPES! SUICIDE DIVE THROUGH THE ROPES! BOTH MEN CRASH THROUGH THE FUCKING BARRICADE!
Mordecai has a job to do here tonight as he wrenches Sandman up to his feet and throws him full force into the ring steps! The steps get bowled through like they’re nothing! Sandman stumbles to his feet!
FALSE AWAKENING! PUMPHANDLE POWERBOMB TO THE STEPS! THE STEPS FUCKING CAVE IN BENEATH THE POWER OF THAT MOVE!
The Night Terror is dazed and Mordecai shows no signs of letting up as mounts Sandman and rains down blow after blow!
SANDMAN CATCHES A FIST! MASSIVE HEADBUTT TO MORDECAI! THE DREAM DEMON CRACKS HIM ACROSS THE NOSE AND KICKS HIM OFF!
Both dreamers are to their feet and begin to trade blows left and right!
A TOOTH FLIES OUT OF SANDMAN’S FACE!
BLOOD SPLATTERS FROM MORDECAI’S NOSE!
SANDMAN GRABS MORDECAI! DEEP SLEEP! ANOTHER END OF DAYS RIGHT TO THE FUCKING RING APRON!
The apron dents inwards ever so slightly! The arena can’t contain the brutality between these two monsters! Sandman nails Mordecai with a powerful uppercut before whipping him into the barricade!
HE RUSHES FORWARDS! MASSIVE LIFTING SPINEBUSTER ONTO THE BARRICADE! THE FUCKING BARRICADE CRUMPLES BENEATH THEM AS SANDMAN USES ALL HIS STRENGTH ON THAT ONE!
The Dream Demon pulls Mordecai out of the wreckage and throws him face first onto the concrete! He grabs him by the hair!
HE STARTS SLAMMING MORDECAI FACE FIRST INTO THE CONCRETE!
OVER AND OVER UNTIL A POOL OF BLOOD APPEARS BENEATH HIS FACE! SANDMAN IS OUT TO KILL MORDECAI AND HE JUST MIGHT DO IT!
The Demon lets go of his brother, smearing his face in the viscera before rising to his feet! He begs Mordecai to rise! He’s going to end it!
FORTY WINKS! TWO THUMBS TO THE EYES AS HE BEGINS TO BRUTALLY YANK MORDECAI BACK AND FORTH! THE GUARDIAN SURELY CAN’T KEEP GOING!
A BIG RIGHT HAND WRAPS AROUND SANDMAN’S THROAT! MORDECAI LIFTS HIM HIGH AS HE LEAPS INTO THE FUCKING AIR!
WORLD BREAKING CHOKESLAM! THE CONCRETE FUCKING CRACKS BENEATH THE IMPACT!
Everything goes silent as Mordecai collapses next to Sandman, both brothers beaten and bruised, neither one seemingly able to move after that desperation move by Mordecai! But somehow, some way, Mordecai begins to stir! With blood leaking from his face, his mask cracked, and his eyes leaking viscera from Sandman’s attack, he finds a way to stand! He grabs Sandman by his foot and drags him to the ring before swinging him by his leg and throwing him into the ring! He follows!
Sandman is slowly stirring, he surely can’t stand up after that terrifying chokeslam, can he? But he’s rising! He’s getting to his feet!
MORDECAI IS ON HIM AS SOON AS HE EVEN GETS TO A KNEE!
WISH FULFILLMENT! OMEGA DRIVER BY MORDECAI! SANDMAN GETS PLANTED RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING RING!
Mordecai isn’t done!
EVERY TIME SANDMAN HITS THE MAT MORDECAI POWERS HIM BACK UP FOR ANOTHER PILEDRIVER! THIS WASN’T KILLED WITH FIRE! THIS WAS A FUCKING INFERNO!
Mordecai kicks Sandman onto his back, closing his eyes as he places his hand on Sandman’s face for the pin!
There was no chance of Sandman kicking out, the Dream Demon has been fucking vanquished here tonight!
With that brutal match over…
They both disappear.
The ring stands barren – desolate, empty.
Somewhere, in the middle of no-where; in the middle of space itself. In the void of black that is space, we’re back at the glass like chamber, looking out into the abyss.
Only this time, The Sandman and Mordecai now kneel before a ginormous throne, staring at something or someone we cannot see.
But for the first time ever…
We see fear in their eyes.
[ Mordecai ] “I warned you, brother…”
The Dream Demon looks at Mordecai, then back to whatever terrifies them both, gulping.
[ Unknown ] “He’s been watching you.”
A mysterious figure that we also cannot see appears before them both, with a feminine voice. She stands before The Sandman and Mordecai, who look shocked.
[ Unknown ] “You cannot him hear him speak, for it will fragment your minds. But know that he has been watching and he is far from amused or impressed.”
[ The Sandman ] “I’m so sorry…”
He cowers, begging – weeping.
The Dream Demon – this almighty monster, left begging and crying by what he sees before him.
Mordecai places an arm around his brother’s shoulders, consoling him as he sobs, terrified.
[ Mordecai ] “My brother made a mistake in coming to the mortal realm; but I’d like to remind you that our existence is imperative to the function of humanity. We’re the Ying and the Yang and we’re needed in our roles that we’ve long forsaken.”
There’s a pause whilst the two confer.
[ Unknown ] “He agrees.”
The Sandman slowly stops sobbing.
[ Unknown ] “You shall both be returned to the realm of dreams, where you’ll do the jobs that you were created to do. Upon his mercy, you will not be replaced.”
[ Mordecai ] “Thank you…”
[ Unknown ] “But there is a catch.”
Mordecai and The Sandman look at one another.
[ Unknown ] “One of you must fight in the Deathstrike competition on behalf of the humanity you have forsaken; they need a fighter in the tournament and one of you will suffice.”
The brothers take a deep breath.
Then the sound of ginormous fingers clicking can be heard and the pair vanish back to the dream realm, banished until Deathstrike.
“TIME BACK TURN”
Continued from FTW 265.
We’re back at FTW 265 now, as Wiz presses the button.
There’s a quiet beep followed by a small, concentrated explosion.
We’re backstage at Invasion, and based on the corridor he’s walking down, TGK has recently left Zero after reclaiming his hoverboard from Jet Set Radio.
[ The Generation Kid ] “Great Scott!”
TGK looks confused as he turns the hoverboard over in his hands. After a moment he starts to peel back the same panel Wiz peeled back the week before.
[ The Generation Kid ] “I know my board, and I knew it didn’t feel right.”
That Eighties Kid pulls the tiny circuit board away from the internals of his board and sighs.
[ The Generation Kid ] “But what does this mean?”
A week has passed, and we’re now backstage at Triosmania. “Bad To The Bone” hits somewhere in the distance, until the music cuts as Wiz shouts.
[ Wiz ] “Kill the Music. Dial up the noise!”
Knowing that Wiz is otherwise engaged, the sneaky shadow of TGK appears in shot. As he walks along the corridor he gets to a door that says ‘Jet Set Radio’ on it. He slips in.
Inside, TGK finds the jackpot – Wiz’s prize scooter sits alone, glinting in the low light.
[ The Generation Kid ] “Perfect. Now just to make some minor adjustments. No flux capacitor needed here.”
TGK affixes the circuit board to the underside of Wiz’s scooter, in a way that hides it almost fully from sight. It looks like he’s made small small amendments to the device. As quietly as he arrived. TGK leaves.
We’re back at FTW 265 again, as Wiz presses the button.
There’s a quiet beep followed by a small, concentrated explosion…
…and the front wheel of Wiz’s scooter bursts, sending him tumbling to the floor! TGK speeds past and finishes the race in first place. Wiz is seething as he makes is way back to his feet, staring at the ruined front wheel of his scooter.
[ The Generation Kid ] “I knew you were up to something, Wiz, when I found the device inside my hoverboard. Luckily for you I’m not a bad man. I toned down your device. Your scooter isn’t lost, a quick replacement wheel will see you right, but your plan has definitely been derailed.”
Wiz puts his scooter down and walks up to TGK, poking his right index finger in his chest.
[ Wiz ] “One small scratch on this baby is enough to earn my wrath, boy. Race or no race, you best believe I want this match too, so I can teach you a lesson about playin’ with a man’s scooter, ya dig?”
[ The Generation Kid ] “Oh I dig, alright. Nothing I’ve done is near as bad as your intentions. But let’s leave the lightweight explosives out of it, Wiz, and settle this in the ring.”
[ Wiz ] “You just started a war you can’t win.”
Wiz retreats, leaving TGK to do the same.
DOUBLE FEATURE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
CHRONOA © vs. THE IMPALER
Power drawn from a tragic past, Chronoa’s manipulation of the tragedy of Night City has created a monster in the Impaler but will he become something she can control or will Legion be ultimately the downfall of fate itself?
The bell starts as Chronoa rushes forward, trying for a running dropkick that the Impaler ducks under, springboarding off the ropes
ADAM SMASHER BITCH!
The lariat turns Chronoa inside out as she stumbles to her feet into a pair of heavy hands before he grips her by the throat and throws her hard over head into the corner with a sickening thud. The Harbringer slowly rises to her feet into an oncoming nearly 300 pounds Avalanche.
LEAPING SPLASH driving Chronoa hard into the steel. She staggers out, clutching her back in pain to a brutal knee to the midsection
NIGHT CITY…NO! Chronoa manages to slip down the Impalers back,
Legion drops to his knees, the powerful strike nearly snaps his quad in half as he struggles to get back to his feet but Chronoa doesn’t let him, flipping him to the mat before wrapping around the bad knee as she leaps up high
DROPPING HER ENTIRE 230 POUNDS ON THE BAD KNEE!
Impaler yells out in pain as Chronoa drills him in the face with a hard kick, stunning Legion before gripping him by the leg and dragging him backwards. She slides out of the ring , pulling him towards the corner
BEFORE LOCKING IN A FIGURE FOUR AROUND THE RINGPOST!
Legion screams out in pain, Chronoa bridging back onto the ringsteps as the referee begins to count her down. Chronoa ignores the count, finally breaking a split second before the count of five as she flips back onto her feet on the floor.
Legion begins to crawl his way out of the corner but the damage has been done as he tries to stand, only to collapse on the weight of his busted knee. Chronoa slides back into the ring, rushing forward
BIG GIRL SENTON ONTO THE INJURED KNEE!
Legion has to be wracked with pain here and the Harbringer ain’t making it better for him as she drops down
AND GIVES THE IMPALER SOME OLD SCHOOL EDUCATION!
Figure Four Cloverleaf shades of the old Enforcer here and just as deadly as Chronoa is tearing apart the Impaler’s knee here. The Dread Pirate Roberts trying to fight through the pain and drag his way to the ropes but Chronoa refuses, dragging him back and even grabbing the ropes herself for extra leverage.
The referee doesn’t see it though, focusing more on Legion’s shoulders as they collapse to the mat, the referee counting
TW…NO! Legion shoots his shoulder up, body wracking in pain as the referee finally sees Chronoa using the ropes, admonishing her, forcing her to let go and distracting Legion just enough to allow him to scoot backward and wrap a single finger around the bottom rope, breaking the hold.
The damage has been done thou, the Impaler can barely get up to his knees let alone stand as Chronoa just smirks, rushing to the ropes as she looks for the killing blow
INTO THE…SPINE ON THE MO’ FUCKING PINE!
Massive Spinebuster plants Chronoa nearly through the mat but the Impaler can’t follow up, trying to power through the pain but it’s a struggle just to stand. The Harbringer slowly rises as the Dread Pirate tries to rush forward for another Adam Smasher
INTO THE SHADOWS! Beautiful Superkick right on the chin knocks the Impaler for a loop as Chronoa grabs him by the chin
AND DELIVERS A WHISKEY INFECTION! A viral dose sends shockwaves through Impalers body and that well could be it there as Chronoa drops down, rolling through with the hook to the leg.
IMPALER GETS THE SHOULDER UP!
The Many slowly rise up to their feet, trying for a surprise Adam Smasher but Chronoa sees it coming, ducking under before positioning the Impaler in a pumphandle position before flipping him over
DISMISSING THE IMPALER FROM CLASS WITH YOUR DEMISE!
Chronoa might well be about to deliver a teachable moment to the Impaler here as she backs up, looking for the killing blow as he stumbles up to his knees
HAS ALLREADY BEEN WRITTEN! BRUTAL ELBOW TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD!
Chronoa drops down, hooking both legs and this may be all she wrote here.
IMPALER KICKS OUT!
The Harbringer is beside herself, absolutely furious she couldn’t put the Impaler down there as she heads to the apron, reaching down underneath the ring apron before holding it aloft high
The Chains of Fate.
Wrapping them around her right fist, she pounces on the Impaler, pounding down upon him with brutal lefts and rights, breaking flesh and possibly bone before gripping the chains with both hands and wrapping them around his throat. The tighter she squeezes, the more life begins to fade away from the Dread Pirate, Chronoa’s anger may well erase the Impaler from existence for good as his eyes close for a moment.
Before flashing open completely black.
The Impaler seems to bulk and grow in size as he effortlessly rises to his feet, gripping the chains with one hand before throwing Chronoa over his shoulder nearly through the ringposts on the other side of the ring.
The Harbringer rolls to her feet, the chains haven flown out of the ring as she rushes forward
INTO THE SHADOWS…DOES NOTHING!
The Impaler smiles, patting his other cheek as he dares for Chronoa to try that shit again as she feints going for another superkick
Before kicking him low
PANDEMONIUM’S CURSE! IMPLANT DDT!
The Impaler seems out on the mat as Chronoa quickly clambers up to the top rope, hesitating only for a moment before flipping off
DEJAVU THROUGH THE HEART AND THE IMPALER’S TO BLAME!
CAUSE HE FUCKING NO SELLS IT!
Chronoa barely gets to turn around before she’s turned inside out by a mammoth Adam Smasher clothesline that nearly takes her head off, the Impaler not letting her hit the mat before she’s powered up high in the air
NIGHT CITY BLACKOUT!
The Impaler pulls her back up to her feet
A SECOND NIGHT CITY BLACKOUT! AND THE IMPALER IS NOT DONE!
He pulls Chronoa back up to her feet once more, lifting the limp Harbringer up onto his shoulders but whatever he had planned is thwarted as she slips down his back, rolling the Impaler up into a suprise small package.
CHRONOA USES THE MIDDLE ROPE FOR LEVERAGE!
THREE!!! Chronoa somehow retains the Double Feature Championship
The Harbringer quickly rolls out of the ring clutching her Double Feature title, having had to use dirty tactics to survive tonight but from the look on her face, even fate itself may be no match for the true power of Night City.
WINNER AND STILL DOUBLE FEATURE CHAMPION: CHRONOA
“… MUST COME TO AN END”
Kaine is staring down Lucy after she got up in his face.
[ Lucy Seraphina ] “I’m sick of your plans and your games, Kaine. While you spent weeks chatting with Tenchu, I took abuse from Banzan for you. Now I do one thing for me now I’m a problem?”
The HellBat glares at her as she continues to invade his space.
[ Kaine Knightlord ] “Remember your place, Seraphina. A Blood Hunt is about to be called for you, and I’m the only thing stopping it from happening.”
At the mention of a Blood Hunt, Nines’ ears perk up. The rebellious Kindred steps up and joins the other two with a new interest in what is happening.
[Nines] “Big words you’re throwing out there, Kaine. You think we will listen to your Ivory Tower fucks if an order is given just because of her talking with us?”
The Dark Detective turns towards Nines, his stance becoming even more aggressive.
[ Kaine Knightlord ] “You’re lucky I don’t gut you where you stand, Nines. We had a deal. We gave your Anarchs California, if you left us be in New York. You would stay out of our territory, and we’d let you live.”
Nines smirks at this.
[Nines] “You’d let us live? That right? You tried fighting us in California, and you had to retreat. With what I heard just now, sounds like you might be repeating mistakes.”
Kaine grabs Nines by the neck and slams him against the wall, pulling back his other fist ready to strike.
[ Kaine Knightlord ] “Let me fix this one then, bitch.”
Before Kaine can follow through, Lucy grabs the HellBat by the arm and pulls him back. If Kindred breathed like mortals, Nines would be gasping for air with the release. Instead, he rubs his neck.
[ Lucy Seraphina ] “Like I said, I’m done with your shit, Kaine. Call the Blood Hunt, don’t call the Blood Hunt. I don’t care. I want my brother back, and if pissing off you stupid fucks in the Camarilla is the result of that… You know what, with all your games, I’m going to do more than talk. I’m going to show you exactly how done I am with your games.”
Lucy storms out of the bar as Kaine looks back to Nines.
[ Kaine Knightlord ] “This is your only warning. Get the fuck out of New York. Next time I see or hear about you on any territory ran by any Prince, I will gut you where you stand.”
Kaine storms out of the bar as Nines just stands there, his night thoroughly ruined.
The Boiler Room.
“I hear you’ve been looking for me.”
The voice of Sigil echoes throughout the dimly lit boiler room as The Collector enters carefully. He slowly walks down the hallway towards where the altar once stood.
He finds Deathnote slumped against a boiler, grimacing.
[ Sigil ] “Look no further, Shinigami.”
[ Deathnote ] “Where have you been? Undertaking a little light reading, perhaps?”
Suddenly, Viper Roberts blindsides Sigil out of no-where, slamming him into a set of pipes. He quickly goes to work, slamming right and left hands into him, pinning him face first to the wall with a hand.
[ Viper Roberts ] “You took the book, didn’t you Collector?”
Sigil must be grimacing under the mask because he’s grunting in pain. Roberts grabs both of his arms to stop him portalling, tying rope around them.
Deathnote stands up, meeting them there.
[ Sigil ] “What’s the plan, huh? Tie me up, force me to miss Lambs to the Slaughter and I’ll tell you what I know? Well, you’re fucking with forces beyond your measly comprehensions. ”
[ Viper Roberts ] “Is that an admission of guilt?”
[ Deathnote ] “Tell me where the book is and we’ll let you go. Don’t and Lambs to the Slaughter will be the least of your concerns. If you take from me, I’ll take from you. I bet the crystals aren’t far behind you, are they?”
The Collector whips his head towards Deathnote. You can’t see his eyes, but he must be glaring a hole right through the Shinigami.
Suddenly a star flies through the air, catching Viper Roberts right across the face – stumbling him backwards.
The OSW World Champion runs into the room, bouncing off the wall with a beautiful step up that follows with a flying fist to the face of Deathnote. Roberts and Deathnote fall backwards, leaving Corvus to stand before The Collector and most surprisingly, in his defence.
[ Corvus ] “Enough!”
[ Corvus ] “I don’t care what business you have with Sigil; it doesn’t happen tonight. You have no idea what we must do tonight. This conversation is on hold. If I must come back, I’ll take your souls.”
He reaches down and helps Sigil back to his feet, untying the ropes and allowing him to be free.
Together, they both exit the boiler room, leaving Viper and Deathnote to consider their position.
REWIND CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
WIZ © vs. TGK
Party meets Breakfast Club when the Purple Pelican takes on That 80’s Kid tonight, with the Rewind Championship on the line. Wiz took the strap from TGK, but can the kid take it back?
The bell sounds and Wiz is straight into it. He scoots his way across the ring looking to gain the early advantage, but is INSTANTLY MET WITH A KARATE KID KICK TO THE FUCKING CHIN!
THAT’S COMING OUT OF THE GATES STRONG BY THE CHAMP!
MR MIYAGI WOULD BE PROUD!
The Purple Pelican seems to fall in slow motion, coming to land backwards across the ring as he scooter continues to move forwards, sliding out of the ring to ringside. The Generation Kid poses for a moment before scooping his opponent up… NO!
WIZ TUCKS HIM FORWARD INTO A VICTORY ROLL!
HE WAS PLAYING POSSUM!
THIS COULD BE OVER ALMOST BEFORE IT BEGINS!
NO! NO CHANCE… TGK BREAKS THE PIN!
Both men reach their feet and lock horns instantly, dragging each other from rope to rope before Wiz can use his size to gain the upper hand. He forces TGK into the corner and softens him up with knee strikes to the guts.
SPRINGBOARD DROPKICK TO TGK IN THE CORNER!
IT WAS SLOPPIER THAN A TWO YEAR OLD’S HANDWRITING, BUT IT GOT THE JOB DONE!
WIZ IS ROLLING!
He climbs the ropes, looking towards the heavens. Wiz stands atop the turnbuckle, lining up his shot!
TOP ROPE LEG DROP!
HOLY SHITBALLS, TKG ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY AND WIZ LANDS ON HIS PURPLE PELICAN ASS!
The momentum shifts again and now the ball is back in TGK’s court. He drags Wiz to his feet and flings him ropewards with an Irish Whip. Wiz attempts to clothesline him on the return journey but TGK ducks the assault.
DOC BROWN’S DELOREAN!
THE SPEAR NAILS WIZ AGAINST THE ROPES!
HE FLIES UP AND OVER THE TOP ROPE, TUMBLING TO THE CONCRETE OUTSIDE!
The Generation Kid climbs himself out onto the ring apron taking a few moments to warm the crowd up into a frenzy of claps. When Wiz begins to stir and climb to his knees, TGK LEAPS…
THE BREAKFAST CLUB FROM THE APRON!
HE TAKES THE DOUBLE AXE HANDLE AND SWINGS IT TO THE OUTSIDE!
BUT NO! WIZ HOLDS UP HIS SCOOTER!
TGK’S FISTS SLAM STRAIGHT INTO THE FOOT PLATFORM OF WIZ’S WHIP!
The referee doesn’t seem too happy about the weaponry, but Wiz pleads self defense and drops the scooter as if to prove his innocence… Then grabs TGK by the scruff of his neck and flings him into the steel steps for good measure.
The Generation Kid hits the steps at pace, crashing over them and landing awkwardly on the other side.
HERE COMES WIZ… JUMPING OFF THE STEPS!
FLYING KNEE DROP HITS TGK SQUARE IN THE CHEST!
I’M NOT EVEN SURE THAT’S WHERE HE WAS AIMING, BUT IT PROVED EFFECTIVE!
Wiz drags The Generation Kid back into the ring, hoping to continue where he left off inside. He slides in quickly after him and pulling him back to his feet. A couple of solid right hands have TGK right where Wiz wants him.
THE BOOM BOOM!
FLOAT OVER DDT TAKES DOWN TGK!
THE SULTAN OF FUNK IS FEELING IT AND CLIMBS UP THE TURNBUCKLE!
HE ALMOST MISSED TGK COMPLETELY, ONLY GRAZING HIS SHOULDER AS HE LANDS!
TALK ABOUT CRASHING AND BURNING!
NOW BOTH MEN ARE DOWN!
After no short amount of time, both men are beginning to find their feet again and they do so by exchanging clubbing blows in the centre of the ring. Right fists follow each other, rocking both men as they slug it out.
A particularly potent right fist sends TGK reeling into the ring ropes. But he rebounds off with a CLOTHESLINE THAT TURNS WIZ INSIDE OUT!
WIZ LANDS HARD BUT SLOWLY PUSHES HIMSELF TO HIS FEET!
NOBODY CALLS ME YELLOW! THE BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX PLANTS WIZ!
THIS TIME HE DAMN WELL STAYS DOWN!
TGK FALLS ONTO WIZ FOR THE PINFALL!
IS IT ENOUGH?!
WIZ KICKS OUT! HE’S STILL GOT MORE!
The pair lock horns again, and TGK continues where he left off, barraging Wiz about the head with elbows and fists. BUT WIZ RAKES THE EYES!
IT CREATES THE OPENING HE DESPEREATELY NEEDED!
CLOTHESLINE TAKES DOWN TGK!
BUT THE KID BOUNCES RIGHT BACK UP AND COMES CHARGING AT THE PURPLE PELICAN!
TAPDANCE FUNK NAILS TGK AND HE CRUMPLES TO A HEAP!
The Generation Kid is down and out, and Wiz once more climbs to the heavens, up atop the turnbuckle. Desperately hoping that the third time is the charm!
A SENTON SLOPPIER THAN THE LUNCHLADY’S SLOPPY JOES… BUT WIZ HITS IT HARD!
HE LIES BACK FOR THE PINFALL!
THE CHAMP COULD RETAIN HERE!
NO LIFE FROM TGK!
THE SMALLEST OF MARGINS! TGK GETS A SHOULDER UP!
THE KID IS STILL IN THIS!
Both men find themselves once more in the centre of the ring, slogging out their differences.
A RIGHT HOOK FROM WIZ RATTLES TGK!
A STIFF ELBOW FROM THE KID IN REPLY!
WIZ UNLOADS A HEADBUTT THAT SENDS TGK STAGGERING!
CLOTHESLINE TO TGK SENDS HIM UP AND OVER THE TOP ROPE! BOTH MEN FALL TO THE GROUND AT RINGSIDE!
Wiz finds his footing first, and his scooter. But the referee is having none of it and demands the sooter be handed over. The ref turns his back to place the scooter down and WIZ REACHES UNDER THE RING!
HE FINDS TWO CANS OF SPRAYPAINT!
CANNED HEAT… DOUBLE CANNED HEAT!
HE SLAMS BOTH CANS INTO THE BACK OF TGK’S HEAD!
THE REF NEVER SAW IT!
Wiz slides his foe back into the ring, and hastily wraps him up into a pinfall.
NOT LIKE THIS!
TH-NO! TGK HAS A FOOT ON THE DAMNED ROPE!
HE STILL LIVES!
Wiz, frustratedly drags his foe back to his feet. HE IGNORES TGK MOMENTARILY… AND BEGINS TO SOMERSAULT AROUND THE RING!
HE’S GONE NUTS!
TGK RISES TO HIS FEET, GROGGILY!
PELICAN FLY! THE MOTHER OF ALL JUMPING SUPERKICKS!
TGK DUCKS THE KICK AND COUNTERS INTO AN EXCELLENT ADVENTURE!
EXCELLENT ADVENTURE THAT DRILLS WIZ RIGHT INTO THE MAT!
AND THE GENERATION KID DROPS INTO A PINFALL!
WIZ IS NOT MOVING A DAMNED MUSCLE!
HE’S DONE IT! NO KICKOUT, NO FOOT ON THE ROPES!
TGK HAS WON!
This match went back and forth more than eyeballs at a tennis match. In the end, it was The Generation Kid who stood tall and walks away with his championship held high. He climbs the turnbuckle and holds his Rewind Championship for all to see.
WINNER AND NEW REWIND CHAMPION: THE GENERATION KID
The locker rooms.
Nestled inside of the Slaughterhouse, we find nonother than Luke Storm. The A-lister sits back in a chair facing a table, watching as the far door swings open to reveal The Taskmaster himself, Simon.
[Hollywood Luke Storm] “Figured you’d come looking for me, dickhead.”
[ Simon ] “You really are always so crude, Lucas.”
Storm merely rolls his eyes.
[Hollywood Luke Storm] “Take a seat.”
Simon does as asked, facing Storm who leans forwards and chuckles a bit, reaching into his jacket and pulling out, to no ones surprise, a revolver. He tosses it down onto the table in front of him, perfectly distanced between himself and Simon.
[Hollywood Luke Storm] “See, it’s time we put this shit to rest. Now, it occurs to me that every time you’ve had a gun pointed at me? It’s been unloaded. The shotguns? Your pistol? As empty as your head. And mine? They ain’t been empty.”
It quickly dawns on Simon just what’s going on as he eyes the revolver on the table.
[ Simon ] “You want us to play a game of Russian Roulette, Luke? Spin the barrel? Risk it all?”
Luke shakes his head, moving forward in his seat.
[Hollywood Luke Storm] “Nah, not that simple bud. There’s one round in that revolver, but I ain’t looking to play a game. You love games, right? No, I’m looking to have a little stand off!”
STORM GRABS THE REVOLVER AND POINTS IT AT SIMON!
SIMON GRABS AT THE REVOLVER AND KICKS STORM IN THE GUT! HE YANKS IT AWAY AND FIRES!
Luke flies forwards with a wild haymaker! Simon stumbles and he slams his hand on the table to free the gun before taking it out and pistol whipping the Taskmaster and firing!
Simon grabs Storm’s arm and chops the elbow! He forces the gun towards Luke and the two fight for it, both arms going in the air!
DOWNPOUR! SIMON GETS HIT WITH THE CODEBREAKER AND LANDS FLAT ON HIS ASS!
Luke points the gun at him, smirking.
[Hollywood Luke Storm] “Now, I know what you’re thinking. Did we fire five shots or only four? Only one round in the chamber. Do you feel lucky? Do ya, Simon?”
The Taskmaster can’t help but begin to chuckle, pushing himself slowly away on the ground.
[ Simon ] “You’re fun, Luke. You really are. But the thing with these kinds of games? Well, I never lose.”
SIMON KICKS THE CHAIR HE WAS SITTING ON AT STORM! STORM FIRES!
A hole forms in the wall right next to Simon’s head! The Taskmaster’s desperation move making Luke misfire! He rushes towards the door as Storm knocks the chair out of the way! But Simon is quick, gone down the hallway as quickly as he arrived, leaving Storm behind with the literal smoking gun.
[Hollywood Luke Storm] “Killing him would have been worth Pyre getting pissed. Would’ve saved her in divorce court too.”
The A-lister sighs, pocketing the gun as he takes his leave.
After FTW #266
We’re back on the grounds of Odawara Castle, but this time it is very different from the last time we saw it. The castle is burning and walls brought down. It looks as if a war had just taken place and the castle is in shambles and smoke rising. We see a Japanese man wandering the ruins of the castle, a concerned look on his face.
The Japanese man is careful with his steps, not wanting to bring what remains of the building down on him. He sees a small pile of rubble with what looks like a robotic hand sticking out of it.
[Japanese Man] “Tenchu-san?”
No response. The man grabs the hand and tugs on it, but the hand comes free.
It’s been dismembered. The man has a shocked look on his face as he begins pushing more of the debris away. Nothing remains there, the man decides to search further.
[Japanese Man] “Tenchu-san?”
The man calls out again, but still there is no response. A wall crumbles beside him and that’s when we see it.
Pieces of the Metal Shadow are strewn about the room the Japanese man has walked into, oil and other machine fluids splattered all about the room.
[ Banzan ] “What happened here?”
Banzan’s voice nearly makes the Japanese man jump out of his skin as Banzan looks around.
[ Banzan ] “WHAT HAPPENED?”
[???] “Another ally, another death.”
Banzan turns and quickly enters the Mountain stance.
[ Banzan ] “You caused this?
[ Kaine Knightlord ] “I’m only here because I had heard Lucy had made her way to Japan looking for her brother. I come here, and I find Odawara Castle destroyed and you at the centre of it. Looks like another ally of yours is dead.”
[ Banzan ] “Part of your plans, no doubt.”
Kaine laughs as he turns to walk away from the Mountain, not saying another word. Off in the distance, how ever is another party. Lucy Seraphina is watching from the shadows as the Mountain and the HellBat leave.
VHS CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
SIR BELLATOR © vs. SEESAW
A confrontation between spiritual opposites, but equal proponents of extreme methods, that will shake the foundations of Heaven and Hell with the VHS Championship up for grabs.
We cut straight to ringside where VHS Champion Sir Bellator is admonishing a teenage member of the crowd. Maybe The Last Templar doesn’t like his haircut or the t-shirt he is wearing. The sermon is interrupted as the challenger, SeeSaw, charges into the back of Bellator, rushing him into the crowd barrier.
Mounting the barricade, SeeSaw rains down blow after blow, the crowd counting along to a ten punch count! SeeSaw rolls Bellator into the ring, joins him and the referee signals DING! DING! The match is officially underway.
Inside the ring, SeeSaw lifts Bellator and whips him hard into a corner front first, bouncing out into a SLAPSTICK CLAPTRAP!!!!. Bellator staggers from the double forearm blow, SeeSaw lifts the champion and grounds him hard, mounting him and pounding down with hammer fists.
It’s not pretty but it’s damn effective from SeeSaw, who eventually relents after landing double figures in blows. SeeSaw gets to his feet and holding his arms parallel to the mat begins to spin around like a whirling dervish.
BIG WHEEL COMING UP!!!
Mr. Make Believe lifts Sir Bellator onto his shoulders and begins spinning…
Christ’s Forgotten Son is free with an elbow, landing on his feet he sizzles SeeSaw with a stiff enziguri!
SeeSaw is back on his feet, trying to shake off the pain in his head but he’s spun inside out as Sir Bellator drops him with a standing headscissors takedown. SeeSaw rolls out of the ring with the momentum, Sir Bellator runs and leaps over the top ropes.
THE LAST TEMPLAR LANDS ON SEESAW!!!
BOTH MEN ARE DOWN ON THE CONCRETE!!!
Bellator is back on his feet, stumbling onto the crowd barrier to catch a breather. But there’s no time.
THROUGH THE CROWD BARRIER!!!
SEESAW JUST SAWED SIR BELLATOR IN HALF!!!!
A section of the crowd barrier has totally collapsed as both men lay among the wreckage of it. But SeeSaw is the first man up. Stumbling back to the ring, SeeSaw forages around underneath and pulls out a baseball bat. He looks impressed until he shakes his head and goes back under the ring. What does he have now?
A BUCKET GLUE!!!
Mr. Make Believe starts smothering the sticky substance all over the bat then pulls out another item.
A BOX OF THUMB TACS!!!!
SeeSaw pours the entire contents over the bat. It’s a mess at ringside of glue and tacs but SeeSaw holds up his improvised weapon like it’s Excalibur itself!
Sir Bellator is back on his feet, emerging from the wreckage of the crowd barrier. SeeSaw takes a big running swing but The Last Templar ducks. Another swinging from The Toymaker and Sir Bellator has to leap backwards to evade. But has he moves backwards, Sir Bellator stands in the glue.
SeeSaw’s eyes light up.
Sir Bellator can’t move!
“HOME RUN!!!!” Mr. Make Believe shouts to The Slaughterhouse as Sir Bellator’s senses are knocked out of the field.
Unconsciousness is brief though because as the champion slumps backwards he lands on the pile of tacs and is woken by the tabs of 100s of metal points.
Sir Bellator is back to a vertical base. SeeSaw swings the bat again but a crescent kick from The Last Templar disarms the challenger and as SeeSaw swings an arm, Sir Bellator ducks and counters with a backdrop suplex, planting SeeSaw right onto the gluey thumb tacs!!!
There is a zealot’s focus about Sir Bellator now. He drags SeeSaw back to a vertical base then runs him face first into a steel ring post. Mr. Make Believe’s forehead wobbles around. Bellator rolls him into the ring and climbs to the top rope.
DOUBLE FOOT STOMP!!!!
ONTO SEESAW’S CHEST!!!!!
The Last Templar covers…
SEESAW KICKS OUT AT THE LAST FRACTION OF A SECOND!!!
Bellator is back outside the ring now, dragging a table out underneath and sliding it inside the ring. He pulls out another item. A bottle of meth spirit!
The VHS Champions sets up the table and pours the spirit all over the top. Striking a match, Sir Bellator stands over SeeSaw.
“By the fire of Yahweh, this abomination will be judged!”, the zealot proclaims, then sets the table on fire!
Sir Bellator lifts SeeSaw into a crucifix above his shoulders.
SEESAW SLIDES OUT.
THE RUNNING BULLDOG THROUGH THE FLAMING TABLE!!!!
SeeSaw stands up, his got a burning sleeve for his efforts, which he easily puts out. But Sir Bellator…
HE’S IMMERSED IN FLAME!!!!
The Last Templar is rolling around, he’s burning but SeeSaw is simply…
Sir Vant slides into the ring, he’s got a fire extinguisher and he sprays Sir Bellator. SeeSaw, his smile curled into a menacing grimace, charges but he takes a face full of powder, allowing Sir Vant to escape to safety.
SeeSaw turns to Sir Bellator.
Christ’s Forgotten Son gets to his feet.
IT’S LIKE DIVINE INTERVENTION!!!
Sir Bellator hooks the legs…
FOOT ON THE ROPES!!!
Sir Bellator lifts SeeSaw again, he’s looking for the same move.
THE BIG WHEEL!!!!
SEESAW CUTS SIR BELLATOR LIKE COMMUNION BREAD!!!!
Mr. Make Believe has this won. The Champion is down. So what is he doing?
SEESAW IS GOING TO THE TOP ROPES!!!
HE’S FLAPPING HIS ARMS!!!
FLIGHT OF THE ORNITHOPTER-
SIR VANT PULLS DOWN THE ROPES AND SEESAW IS HUNG OUT TO DRY!!!
Sir Bellator climbs to the top rope with SeeSaw. He’s got him locked.
FROM THE TOP ROPE!!!!
SEESAW COUNTERS WITH A FREEMAN BLASTER!!!!
ONE FROM THE COLLECTION!!!
Mr. Make Believe covers…
SeeSaw has done it! Mr. Make Believe takes home the VHS Championship belt!
WINNER AND NEW VHS CHAMPION: SEESAW
The match is over. The VHS Championship is decided.
But the absolute war between Sir Bellator and SeeSaw doesn’t seem to be over.
SeeSaw rises to his feet, making sure his body is in order, but he the adrenaline starts flowing once again once he realizes Sir Bellator has left the ring.
[ SeeSaw ] “Get back here! I’m not finished with you yet!”
Bellator circles the ring, but instead of sliding back in, kneels down to get something from beneath it. Sliding into the ring, the masked zealot now has something in his hands.
[ Sir Bellator ] “I think we are finished, Fish. Because I have other business to attend to, and you have bigger problems than vengeance.”
The curious Mr. Make Believe doesn’t attack, instead waiting like a raging bull inside its pen.
[ Sir Bellator ] “Those papers you dropped? The ones that talked about your little secret?”
SeeSaw rages forward, but Bellator holds up the envelope, stopping him in his tracks.
[ Sir Bellator ] “You came to me to find out what it’s like to find our you’re not alone, and now I know why.”
From the envelope, Bellator draws out a small vial, full of green liquid.
[ Sir Bellator ] “It is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his garden. It grew and became a tree,…”
He tosses it at SeeSaw, who looks confused.
[ Sir Bellator ] “This little mutagen here… the doctor used it to create you through heretical sciences. Except this mustard seed wasn’t the only one, was it?”
Not the only one?
[ Sir Bellator ] “How many are there like you? How many other SeeSaw’s are there out there?”
SeeSaw reaches forward, but Bellator ducks to the outside.
[ Sir Bellator ] “I once alone, but I found Fellowship in Vayikra. What will you find, Andrew Fish?”
Bellator walks away, leaving SeeSaw in the center of the ring. He drops to his knees, staring at the mutagen.
The mutagen that created him.
That created more just like him.
Just like SeeSaw?
This is not going to be good.
“HEIST OF THE CENTURY”
In the middle of the night, as pitch black is barely lit by streetlights, a black van pulls up outside a large glass building.
The sign hung from the top says Nakamura Industries.
Two guys leap from the back of the van in all black and rush towards the side entrance, using a key card to gain access. As the green light pings, they dive inside.
One of the men stops, pulling off his hood to reveal a makeshift and terribly designed visor. It’s held together by wires, tape, and bad soldering. It’s essentially a prototype.
[ Xavier ] “This fuckin’ thing is janky, bro. I’m on their Network but this prototype needs improvements.”
His friend takes down a hood and looks around, concerned.
[ Friend ] “Well, that’s why we’re here isn’t it? Goro has all that tech in the basement.”
[ Xavier ] “The cameras are down and the doors are unlocked. Let’s go.”
Both head down the hallways, passing through doors that should be locked until they reach an elevator. Once there, they go down to the bottom floor.
There’s no security.
As they enter the basement lab, they’re immediately confronted by a technician.
[ Technician ] “Xavier? Gunnar? What the fuck are you doing here?”
Gunnar – the friend, slaps the technician to the floor.
[ Xavier ] “Dude, what the fuck?”
Then he pulls a gun.
[ Xavier ] “Are you fuckin’ serious? Put that shit away, homie.”
[ Friend ] “Nah, we need it, man.”
Gunnar points the gun at the technician as Xavier reels in shock.
[ Gunnar ] “We need your tech. We need chips, implants – the works.”
Xavier helps the technician back to his feet and follows him into the lab. He points to where the tech is and watches as Gunnar begins ransacking it.
[ Xavier ] “I’m sorry about this Stevie. Goro ain’t been straight with us about the tech. He’s been sayin’ it ain’t ready but I hacked the mainframe and that shit is ready to be implanted. He holdin’ out on us, man.”
[ Stevie ] “It’s ready, yeah, but you won’t be able to install it out there. The only way it’s getting into your body is if I do it here.”
Gunnar turns, raising an eyebrow.
[ Gunnar ] “The fuck you say?”
He rushes over, pointing a gun right at his head.
[ Xavier ] “Dude, fuckin’ relax!”
[ Gunnar ] “Xav, get in the fucking chair.”
[ Xavier ] “WHAT?!”
Gunnar turns to his friend, keeping the gun focused on Stevie the technician.
[ Gunnar ] “You don’t have time to fuck around on this, man. He’s gonna do the surgery now. You don’t have a choice – you gotta fuckin’ do it. We ain’t gonna find a surgeon out there before the Yakuza track us down. If you don’t do it now, it’s over.”
Xavier takes a deep breath and nods, taking off his jacket and then his shirt.
[ Xavier ] “I’ll do it – but you need to put the fuckin’ gun down. Stevie is cool, man; he ain’t gonna try nothin’.”
Stevie steps closer, looking over the arm.
But Gunnar doesn’t hesitate – he steps closer too, keeping the gun pointed at him.
OSW WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
CORVUS © vs. ZERO
The Crow finally rose high above to take his place on the throne but the first test of his reign will be his toughest as the greatest VHS champion of all time steps up to make the world champion a bad motherfucking piece of gold once again. Will Corvus prove himself against the man he could not beat at Red Snow or will Zero make him a stone cold punk bitch?
Both men are in the ring as the referee is going over the pre-match preparations, checking over the world champion for foreign objects as Zero smirks, flipping Corvus the bird before rushing forward.
Zero just used the referee as a launchpad to knock the Crow’s teeth in as Corvus crashes to the mat, rolling to the outside, rocked and possibly knocked out as the Hacker rushes to the ropes, leaping up to the top
VIRUS DETECTION TO THE OUTSIDE!
Brutal Elbow drop to the small of the back causes cries of agony to wail from the Crow as Zero peels him up off the floor, throwing him back inside the ring before stalking him slowly, trying to regain his breath after the brutal tag team war earlier tonight.
Corvus slowly rises off the mat up to one knee as Zero rushes forward
16 GB of RAM! SHINNNNING WIZZZARD!
That may well be it allready as Zero leaps onto Corvus for the cover
…………CORVUS GETS THE SHOULDER UP!
Zero sits up, visibly annoyed but still knows that it’ll take more then that to put down the world champion as he pulls Corvus up to his feet
Corvus counters out of nowhere, staggering back Zero as Corvus begins to fight back with lefts and rights, backing Mister Mother Fucker back into the ropes before throwing him across the ring
DROP TOE HOLD!
Zero lands throat first on the bottom rope as Corvus rushes to the ropes, springboarding off
INTO THE PUNK CITTY KILLER!
STUNNER OUT OF NOWHERE!
BUT CORVUS ROLLS TO THE OUTSIDE AGAIN!
Zero just shakes his head, his eyes glancing towards the turnbuckles but he thinks better of repeating such a risky move, instead watching Corvus like a hawk as the world champ slowly rises, his back to the apron. Zero leans over the ropes, trying to pull Corvus back into the ring
KABONG! STEEL CHAIR TO THE SKULL!
Corvus caught Zero out of nowhere as the Hacker slumps over the ropes in a daze, Corvus leaping up to the apron as he sizes his challenger up for a moment
TO THE OUTSIDE!
Zero crashes hard on the outside, Corvus rolling through from the hurricanrana as he pulls the dazed Hacker up, gripping him by the back of his head as he rushes forward in the direction of the turnbuckles
DROP TOE HOLD ONTO THE STEEL STEPS!
Zero counters just in time as Corvus’s head cracks against the metal, opening up a small cut on his forehead. Zero gets to his feet, shaking the cobwebs away before pulling Corvus up, rocking him with a brutal headbutt before lifting him up high
Corvus saves his spine from the agony of the hardest part of the ring, grabbing hold of the ropes as he stops Zero’s momentum. The Hacker tries to power Corvus down but a flurry of lefts and rights leave Zero groggy as Corvus manages to pull himself onto the apron.
Zero tries to grab Corvus again but a hard kick to the jaw rocks him before the Crow slingshots off the ropes
POISON RANA ON THE STEEL STEPS!
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!
Zero may well be dead here, completely limp on the steel as Corvus rolls his dead weight into the ring before dropping down for the cover
ZERO KICKS OUT!
That may well have been on instinct alone thou as he’s still dazed and confused on the mat, Corvus taking advantage as he pulls the Hacker up and begins peppering him with an onslaught of blows.
JUMPING ELBOW STRIKE!
MURDER OF BLOWS!
Zero’s out on his feet as Corvus grabs him for what looks like an STO before spinning his arm around and spiking him into the mat with a vicious DDT
That very well could be it there but the Crow wants an emphatic victory here as he backs off, sliding down to the mat as he slowly stalks Mister Mother Fucker, looking for that one final killing blow
ABSOLUTE MOTHER FUCKING ZERO!
Zero counters with the Chokeslam out of nowhere, all of Corvus’s wind taken from him as Zero quickly drops down, wrapping his arms around Corvus’s head
AND LOCKING IN THE BIONIC VICE!
Corvus screams out in pain, the pressure of the lock squeezing opens up that cut once more as blood begins to ooze down the forhead of the world champion who is desperately trying to scramble for the ropes but Zero pushes them away, crawling back into the middle of the ring and rearing back even tighter on the hold.
The Crow is fighting but he can barely see through the blood and Zero’s grip is almighty strong as he slowly begins fading away. The referee checking on Corvus as he lifts up the right arm
IT FALLS ONCE
IT FALLS TW…NO! The Champion’s hand rises high, refusing to stay down and lose this way after fighting to become world champion for so long as he slowly crawls to the ropes, Zero clamping down with all his strength the whole way before with a gutteral roar,
The Crow manages to grab hold of the bottom rope, breaking the hold!
Corvus survived the Vice but he’s breathing hard and barely able to get to his feet as Zero backs up, looking to increase Corvus’s memory with a little bit more ram. The Crow gets to one knee as Zero rushes forward
DAGGER TO THE ARM!
Zero staggers back, staring at his arm in puzzlement as he sees in Corvus’s fatigue he nailed the wrong arm with the paralysing agent. Zero chuckles at the dagger embedded in the metal for a moment before the Crow chuckles back, clicking his fingers
AS THE KNIFE EXPLODES WITH A MINI EMP PULSE!
Zero collapses to one knee, his right arm dangling useless to his side, temporarily disabled thanks to the crafty Crow as he can barely register let alone defend the running roundhouse kick to the jaw that damn near knocks him out cold. Zero is rocked as a brutal headbutt rocks him before he’s spun around
GARROTE!…? NO! Zero grabs hold of the ropes nearby, stopping the submission attempt but Corvus is determined, unleashing an onslaught of strikes to the back of the head before a spinning elbow that has the Hacker seeing stars allows Corvus to slip underneat his neck
Corvus is slowly choking Zero out from behind but he can’t quite drop him down into the bodyscissors, Zero still fighting as Corvus unleashes knee after knee to the kidneys before finally dropping down to the mat
ZERO HAS THE ROPES AS HE MANAGES TO ROLL BACKWARDS INTO A PINFALL ATTEMPT
CORVUS BREAKS THE HOLD!
Zero hits the stunner out of nowhere but he’s absolutely exhausted and collapses to the mat right next to the Crow. Both men lay there for moments, the sheer physicallity of this match taking everything out of both men before Zero finally manages to roll over and lay an arm over Corvus for the cover.
COULD THIS BE IT?
………………CORVUS KICKS OUT! 2.9999!
That delayed cover may well have cost Zero here as it gave Corvus just enough time to recover. Zero gets to his feet first, feeling out his right arm which is slowly coming back online as he looks over the recovering champion, wondering how he can beat him as his eyes turn to the turnbuckles.
Could Zero take a page out of his friends book to become world champion here?
Mister Mother Fucker slowly walks over to the ropes, climbing up the turnbuckles as he’s begging for Corvus to get to his feet to put down this bitch once and for all. The Crow slowly staggers up to his feet, stumbling on his feet as Zero flies
RKO OUT OF GODDAMN NOWHERE! This has to be it as Corvus dives onto Zero for the cover
COULD THIS BE IT?
FOOT ON THE ROPES!
The referee stops the count at the last possible millisecond, just noticing the Hackers foot on the ropes as this match must continue. Corvus slowly gets to his feet, shaking his head in disbelief as he doesn’t know what else he can do to beat Zero who’s using the ropes to pull himself up to his feet.
The Crow motions for Zero to come get some, a motion that Zero responds with a double bird before both men rush forward
They clubbering here as Corvus manages to duck under a roundhouse before flipping him
That staggers Zero into the ropes who rebounds with a brutal FIREWALL clothesline. Corvus crashes to the mat, staggering back up to his feet into a kick to the gut
PUNK CITY…NO! Zero slips out, leaping up high, BLACK HANDS…NO! Zero pushes off, sending Corvus flying through the air but the Crow lands on his feet, rolling through as he rushes forward
A SECOND ONE!
AND A THIRD TO A KNEELING CORVUS!
MOTHERFUCKING SUPERKICK PARTY!
Corvus is dazed on his knees as Zero sprints to the ropes, springboarding off
16 GB OF RAM! SHINNNING WIZARDDDOO!
That may well be it but Zero knows he needs to double tap that black hand asshole to make it truly stick as he stalks from behind, waiting for the world champion to slowly rise up to his knees.
32 GB OF RAM! THE BOOM!
SHINNNNNINNNNNG WIZZZZAAAARRRRD TO THE BACK OF THE FUCKING HEAD! And Corvus is out goddamn cold, Zero turning him over with the last of his strength before collapsing onto him for the cover
COULD THIS BE IT?
THREE!!! WE HAVE A NEW WORLD CHAMPION!
Zero does it, going through an absolute war with the Crow here tonight as he becomes the 34th OSW World Champion here tonight like a badass Mother Fucker.
WINNER AND NEW OSW WORLD CHAMPION: ZERO
“RING OF DREAMS”
He’s done it!
Zero has won the OSW World Heavyweight Championship! By God, what a performance. He gets back to his feet and slumps back into the ropes, holding the title high in the air.
The opening of “Nightmare” by Halsey hits the Slaughterhouse speakers as the lights begin to flash red. Wisps of fire, like candles, form in a circle on the stage.
I keep a record of the wreckage of my life
I gotta recognize the weapon in my mind
They talk shit, but I love it every time
The fire forms into the form of Pyre, her eyes glowing red – the invasion briefcase in her hand. The fire surrounds her as she walks down to the ring and slides in.
Zero looks at her – unsure of her purpose.
Is she invading?
Is Pyre invading on her own team-mate?
Pyre drops the briefcase and throws her arms around Zero, pulling him into the biggest hug imaginable.
The fans go wild, cheering and celebrating as Pyre releases Zero and turns to face the camera.
Only when she turns back around, Zero isn’t there.
What the fuck?
He’s not standing.
He’s down on one knee.
Oh my God!
It had always been rumoured but never confirmed.
With a ring box in his hand, Zero rests on one knee, offering Pyre a hand in marriage. She doesn’t know what to do at first – she’s utterly shocked.
But then she enthusiastically nods.
The crowd go wild as Luke Storm runs down the entrance ramp and slides into the ring, celebrating with them both.
Zero, Pyre and Luke all hug, pulling one another close.
[ Simon ] “Uh-hum.”
The voice of The Taskmaster clearing his throat echoes throughout the arena, causing all three members of Bad Mother Fuckers to turn their attention to the entrance ramp in which he now stands.
[ Simon ] “That’s utterly adorable, isn’t it? But aren’t you guys forgetting something?”
He flashes his ring finger at the camera.
[ Simon ] “You’re not getting married any time soon, folks. No no, not any time soon at all.”
[ Simon ] “But don’t worry Zero, I’m sure there’s some kind of arrangement we could come to. Once I’m done beating the snot out of Luke Storm – its your turn. Perhaps we could, you know, work something out?”
The Taskmaster laughs once again, tossing the microphone down as the boos echo throughout the arena.
Lambs to the Slaughter is up next, but this war between bMf and Simon has some way to go.
“THE SHACKLES OF GLORY”
In the middle of no-where, overlooking a beautiful field of flowers, a man sits upon a bench.
There’s a slight breeze in the air, swaying the back of his jet-black hair.
He says nothing at first.
He just looks out into the beauty before him.
But silence can’t last forever, not even here.
[ Unknown ] “I’ve got a wife now. Can you believe that?”
[ Unknown ] “It all started off like a bad John Wick meets Batman fan-fic. Face-painted vigilante tangles with the underworld, viewing it as a divine duty. Volunteering for a ‘necessary’ task because anyone else would suffer more. I was the posterboy for the manifestation of destiny. I was defined by what I was. I even made a foray in Old School Wrestling, trying to achieve my destiny in another way – fighting crime not by searching dark alleys, but by being a symbol under the spotlight. It didn’t work out so well.”
There’s a pause whilst he contemplates.
[ Unknown ] “And here comes the Wick part. I made a lot of enemies, but Kendall Smith? Nobody knew who he was. Nobody cared… Until one solitary slip-up. One time I acted on impulse, just walking my Kujo down a country path until I saw some poor thing in the receiving end from… Well, I don’t even know. Boyfriend? Dealer? Pimp? One backhand later, he was uttering profanities in a ditch and she was running to safety. The thing about Kendall is… Nobody is scared of him. The next day I woke up with a dead dog. 9 inch nail through the skull. That night I went to drown my sorrows, hoping that somehow they’d drown me. I wanted a fight, I wanted a new nail, through my head and through my coffin. I found a fight I wasn’t prepared for.”
The wind blows a gust that interrupts him, so he pauses, shuffling in his seat.
[ Unknown ] “I don’t know what possessed her. What made her walk up to the seething creature with a mosaic for a face, but seems a tapestry of scars is her kind of art. I didn’t feel so ugly when the lights went out. in fact, I haven’t felt ugly since. For the first time I could remember, I was less concerned about the story I wrote for myself a decade ago and more on a… collaborative work. One where I didn’t die tied up to a chair in the back of a shady warehouse. I didn’t care about the glory. I now care for the beauty of the living.”
He chuckles to himself.
[ Unknown ] “The idea of being the one righting the world’s wrongs… It was romantic. It was noble. It was, ultimately, hollow. The world is fucked, and I can either keep pissing in the wind or I can finally cast off the shackles of glory and live for myself, as a free man. I’m not dedicating my life any more to standing on a conveyor belt, waiting for a butcher’s blade around my neck. Instead, I am going to try and be ‘that one night’. Maybe not through my choice, I found a way out of the abbatoir.”
Then he stands up, putting his hands into his pockets.
[ Unknown ] “As I return, there are so many people chasing glory like I once did. But I ask… How long will that glory last? Tonight, I find my way back into the abbatoir – but it isn’t to slaughter, it’s to save. You can either die with the rest of the lambs, or you can join me, lambs free in the wilds. The choice is yours.”
THE LAMBS TO THE SLAUGHTER MATCH
You know what time it is.
It’s time for Lambs to the Slaughter.
Let’s go over the rules, shall we? Twenty of Old School Wrestling’s finest will enter at two-minute intervals until all twenty have entered the match.
Eliminations are by pinfall, submission or a knockout.
The winner of this incredible match will go on to face the OSW World Champion at Ring of Dreams VIII.
So, without further ado – let’s get started on the 8th Pandemonium Lambs to the Slaughter match.
ENTRY #1 – BANZAN
The Slaughterhouse comes to a standstill as a barrage of a drumbeat sounds, accompanied by the unmistakable sound of “Wolf Totem” by the Hu.
The massive frame of Banzan appears in the entranceway, the purple aura of his lifeforce emanating a pulsating light around him in time with the beat of the music.
Banzan adopts a kung-fu stance, with his fist pushed into the palm of his hand. His eyes, rolling back into his head momentarily, are filled with a similar purple hue.
The big guy begins his slow descent to the ring.
ENTRY #2 – GORO NAKAMURA
Flashing lights cover the dark Slaughterhouse as “Majinahanashi” by Hideyoshi starts up.
Stepping into the spotlight, Goro Nakamura is wearing a full suit, looking dapper as hell. He adjusts his collar as he takes in the crowd. With a cocky grin, the head of Nakamura Industries heads down the aisle.
Stepping between the ropes, Nakamura removes his suit jacket and tie. He loosens his collar, revealing his impressive cybernetic implants, before removing his cuff links and rolling up his sleeves.
It’s time to go to work.
This will be a fucking war.
It’s the Dragon, Goro Nakamura…
And the Mountain, Banzan.
The bell sounds and both men lock up, immediately testing their strength against one another. They twist and turn before breaking away, each stepping off slightly.
The crowd are on their feet.
“LET’S GO BANZAN!”
“LET’S GO BANZAN!”
Both men lock up again, only this time Goro smirks, launching Banzan backwards. The Mountain doesn’t see it coming, being pushed over and rolling back towards the corner.
Goro demands he ‘Come Get Some’ and Banzan obliges, storming from the corner into a thunderous Clothesline that Nakamura ducks.
He spins him, delivering right hands as the crowd go wild, watching Banzan slam Goro back into the ropes. He whips him across the ring, Nakamura ducking under another Clothesline attempt and bouncing back off the ropes..
THAT JUST STUMBLES THE MOUNTAIN!
Banzan shakes his head..
FIVE… POINT.. PALM STRIKE!
DOWN GOES GORO NAKAMURA!
The fans roar as Banzan leaps into the cover…
GORILLA PRESS KICK OUT!
HOLY FUCKING SHIT! WHAT POWER!
Banzan got thrusted across the ring and can’t believe it. It’s rare that anyone manhandles him the way that Goro Nakamura has tonight.
ENTRY #3 – THE GENERATION KID
“You got the touch
You got the power
The Touch by Stan Bush blares into the arena, sending the crowd roaring with excitement as The Generation Kid steps out onto the stage.
“After all is said and done
You’ve never walked, you’ve never run
You’re a winner!”
He gives the audience a wave before taking a deep breath and then running down the entrance ramp, sliding into the ring.
BANZAN ALMOST TAKES HIS FUCKING HEAD OFF!
THE GENERATION KID ENTERS THE RING AND GETS FUCKING ANHILIATED!
He rolls to the outside, holding his head and kicking his feet off the floor in agony as The Mountain turns his attention back to Goro. The Dragon meanwhile is back up to a knee…
LOW BLOW TO BANZAN!
The Mountain drops to a knee, only able to watch as Nakamura bounces into the ropes and comes back with a brutal knee strike to the face.
The fans boo but that doesn’t stop him. He pulls Banzan straight up, scooping him into position.
Jesus Christ – that’s three hundred and forty-three pounds in the air…
STEINER FUCKING SCREWDRIVER!
HE FUCKING NAILED HIM!
INTO THE COVER…
KICK OUT! BANZAN KICKS OUT!
Goro gets back to his feet and runs a thumb across his throat, calling for the end. He stalks Banzan…
But there’s The Generation Kid!
TGK is back on the ring apron.
GORO GRABS HIM!
HE GRABS HIM OVER THE ROPES…
BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX… FROM THE APRON INTO THE FUCKING RING!
THE GENERATION KID MAY BE BROKEN THE FUCK IN HALF!
Nakamura storms across the ring but TGK shows incredible ring awareness and rolls to the outside. That may have just saved his elimination!
He’s tried to get involved twice and twice he’s been on the receiving end of punishment!
ENTRY #4 – LUKE STORM
The lights begin to flash like a paparazzi’s camera as Deep Purple’s “Stormbringer” hits the Slaughterhouse. Smoke fills the entrance tube as the lyrics kick in.
Comin’ out of nowhere
Drivin’ like rain
Hollywood Luke Storm walks through the clouds like a lightning bolt to stand at the head of the ramp. He removes his sunglasses as he takes in the booing crowd, a cocky grin on his face.
Ride the rainbow
Crack the sky
Time to die
With a nod and smile, the Real Deal marches down to the ring, ready for war.
Here he comes, entry number 4!
Luke Storm rolls under the bottom rope and pops back up, immediately ducking a Clothesline by Goro Nakamura. He rushes into the ropes and comes back…
NO! NAKAMURA CATCHES HIM!
FALL AWAY SLAM TO LUKE STORM!
Storm rolls to the outside, thumping on the floor with a thud. Goro finally decides to exit the ring, getting onto the ring apron and dropping off with a Double Axe Handle across Luke’s back, sending him back to the floor as he tried to rise.
Goro rolls back under the bottom rope…
THE GENERATION KID IS BACK! He nails Goro with a Dropkick that sends him back under the bottom rope and to the outside with Luke Storm.
Both get back to a stand….
THAT 80’S KID THOUGHT BETTER OFF IT AND STOPPED AT THE ROPES!
Luke meanwhile grabs Goro and runs him STRAIGHT INTO THE FUCKING RINGSTEPS!
BANZAN ROLLS UP TGK!
THE KID KICKS OUT!
Hollywood Storm begins bouncing Nakamura’s head off the ring steps, smashing him as hard as he can. He finally stops, pulling The Dragon away…
T-BONE SUPLEX ON THE OUTSIDE!
The Collective Leader slams into the concrete floor with a thud, rolling away in agony!
ENTRY #5 – VIPER ROBERTS
‘Reach Out and Touch Faith.’
A huge explosion erupts at the top of the ramp from which Viper Roberts suddenly appears with his head bowed. He looks up slowly with a shit-eating grin before scanning the room through his silver locks.
The lights flicker from red, to yellow, to orange as he descends upon the the ring; almost as if he’s walking through a fiery inferno.
He stops at the bottom just in time to see Luke Storm getting back to his feet…
VIPER SPITS THE CLOUDY SUBSTANCE IN HIS FACE!
That’s one way to introduce yourself!
Roberts grabs Storm by the head and immediately runs him into the ring post, slamming him off face first.
Banzan is now on the outside too.
The Head Snake rounds the corner and doesn’t see him.
KINSASHA TO ROBERTS!
VIPER STEPPED BACK AROUND THE RING POST AND BANZAN GOT NOTHING BUT STEEL!
Vipe goes under the ring, grabbing out a steel chair. He places it around the knee of Banzan, who just collided with steel. What’s he thinking? This can’t be good.
But here’s Goro Nakamura!
Goro grabs Roberts from behind and runs him STRAIGHT INTO THE RING POST!
The Dragon climbs back onto the ring apron..
KNEE DROP TO THE STEEL CHAIR ACROSS BANZAN’S KNEE!
HE MAY HAVE JUST BROKEN HIS FUCKING LEG!
BANZAN IS HOWLING IN AGONY!
Nakamura gets back up to check the damage, realizing that Banzan’s knee is now protruding from his fucking leg!
OH MY GOD!
THE DRAGON GRINS…
LOW BLOW BY VIPER ROBERTS!
LOW BLOW TO GORO NAKAMURA!
As referee’s tend to Banzan and his broken knee, we hear that fateful sound.
ENTRY #6 – SIR RENAULT
The lights go out.
We hear the heavy guitar chords and smashing drums of RED’s “The War We Made” begin playing over the speakers.
A lone spotlight shines down atop the stage, revealing a kneeling Sir Renault with his head down, and his hands clasped together in prayer.
The camera pans from left to right as a curtain of golden pyro showers down on Renault, engulfing him in sparks.
Darth Jesus emerges out of the sparks and without wasting any time, he hurtles down the ramp…
LEAPING CLOTHESLINE TO VIPER ROBERTS!
DOWN GOES THE HEAD SNAKE!
Goro is still down on his knees from the low blow, so Renault gets back to his feet and backs up…
SHINING WIZARD TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD OF NAKAMURA!
Darth Jesus might be feeling the effects of last weeks drop, but he’s not showing it.
He immediately searches the ringside area until he finds The Generation Kid.
Both men begin trading right and left hands on the outside, Renault taking control and backing TGK into the barricade.
He lifts him up…
CHEST FIRST ACROSS THE BARRICADE!
That Eighties Kid stumbles away holding his chest, but Renault isn’t letting up. He grabs him from behind…
ROLLING GERMAN SUPLEX ON THE OUTSIDE!
HALF NELSON SUPLEX!
BRIDGING… DRAGON… SUPLEX!
THE HOLY TRINITY!
THE GENERATION KID HAS BEEN FUCKED UP!
Renault gets back to his feet…
RIGHT INTO GORO NAKAMURA!
BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX!!
THE DRAGON PLANTS HIM ON THE OUTSIDE!
What a debut by Goro Nakamura. He gets back to his feet…
STEEL CHAIR TO THE SKULL!
IT’S HOLLYWOOD LUKE STORM, BAYBEE!
THE CHAIR IS BENT TO FUCK AND GORO NAKAMURA IS ON HIS KNEES!
Storm measures him up…
SUPERKICK TO THE KNEELING DRAGON!
The Tempest throws his arms into the air for applause and gets it, but doesn’t see that Viper Roberts is waiting.
BELT TO THE FUCKING FACE!
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST…
THAT JUST BROKE LUKE STORM’S FUCKING GLASSES!
As the glasses fall from his face and hit the floor, Hollywood looks up – his expression turning from arrogance to sheer fury.
Roberts swings the belt again!
LUKE CATCHES IT!
He wraps it around his hand and pulls Roberts in.. WHAM! Right hand with the belt to the face of the Head Snake. Viper stumbles, so Luke wraps the remaining belt around his neck…
DOWNPOUR TO VIPER ROBERTS!
The buzzer sounds!
ENTRY #7 – SIGIL
As Monumental by Aviators begins to play throughout the arena the lights dim down to near darkness.
A plethora of portals open up everywhere around the Slaughterhouse. Around the ring, near the ceiling, towards the ramps. They all show strange and distant lands.
And finally, we see Sigil. The Void Walker can be seen for split seconds through each portal, walking from land to land before a final portal opens inside of the ring showing the inside of his citadel, Sigil walking out and closing all of the portals in an instant as he enters the ring.
The Collector notices that not a single person is inside the ring and makes a b-line to the ropes…
DOWN GOES STORM… DOWN GOES ROBERTS…
THE COLLECTOR TAKES BOTH MEN OUT AS THEY GET BACK TO THEIR FEET!
He lands standing and walks around the ring to retrieve a ladder, pulling out from underneath. Sigil quickly places it as a bridge across the ring apron and the barricade.
BUT THERE’S SIR RENAULT!
Renault spins him, grabs him by the head and takes a run up…
LADDER BRIDGE CLOTHESLINE TO SIGIL!
THAT DAMN NEAR TOOK HIS HEAD OFF!
The Last Crusader pulls Sigil back to his feet, pulling his head between the rungs of the ladder and placing his arms either side. The Collector now rests in the gap!
Renault backs up….
RENAULT RUNS TOWARDS THE LADDER!
SPEAR! SPEAR! SPEAR!
THE GENERATION KID RUNS ACROSS THE APRON, LEAPING FROM IT INTO A BRUTAL SPEAR THAT TAKES DOWN SIR RENAULT!
“HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!”
The fans are on their feet!
TGK surely saved Sigil from a terrible fate. The Collector meanwhile realizes where he is.
Here comes GORO!
SIGIL TAKES THE LADDER OFF THE BRIDGE…
DOWN GOES GORO!
He presses the ladder off and above his head, dropping it down across Nakamura’s back!
We’ve seven participants in the match and not one single elimination yet!
Viper Roberts meanwhile stalks Banzan.
The Mountain has been recovering beside the ring for quite some time since severely breaking his knee and Roberts has just realized.
He approaches with a steel pipe in hand.
Banzan scoots backwards, begging off…
He’s fucking helpless, you snake!
PURPLE ENERGY! PURPLE ENERGY!
BANZAN HAS BEEN FUCKING HEALING!
HE THRUSTS THE ENERGY AT VIPER ROBERTS, BLOWING HIM BACKWARDS INTO THE BARRICADE!
ENLIGHTENMENT OF THE MOUNTAIN!
Banzan gets back to his feet, fully healed from the broken knee and watches as Roberts kneels against the barricade, back to it, paralyzed…
KINSHASHA TO ROBERTS, THROUGH THE FUCKING BARRICADE! BOTH MEN GO THROUGH THE FUCKING BARRICADE!
ENTRY #8 – SEESAW
The lights go out and we zoom in on the video screen, which is filled with nothing but gray static, while the opening guitar section of “Be Quiet and Drive” by Deftones begins.
Once the guitar cuts out, the static is replaced with one word in bright red – SEESAW.
As the song begins to break in, SeeSaw appears center-stage, holding the VHS Championship. He scans the crowd, before dropping to his knees to violently slap the floor three times. He then jumps back up and begins to skip along the rest of the way down the ramp, and into the ring.
SeeSaw stops at the bottom of the entrance ramp to survey the carnage. Banzan and Roberts are out of it, covered in broken barricade.
He takes the VHS Championship…
AND RUNS IT STRAIGHT ACROSS THE SKULL OF SIGIL!
DOWN GOES THE COLLECTOR!
With a sinister smile, he watches as The Generation Kid stumbles into view…
VHS TITLE TO THE SKULL!
TGK ducks and SeeSaw runs straight into SIR RENAULT!
DOWN GOES DARTH JESUS!
The Generation Kid turns SeeSaw…
NO-BODY CALLS ME YELLOW!
BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX ON THE OUTSIDE TO MR. MAKE BELIEVE!
We have 8 people in the match and not a single elimination. The Generation Kid goes under the apron, pulling out tables. He pulls out two and begins setting them up next to each other before going back for one last one.
Only this gives Luke Storm the chance to interfere and he does with a massive right hand. TGK stumbles, being ran STRAIGHT OVER THE BARRICADE AND INTO THE CROWD!
Hollywood goes back under the ring, looking for something else…
A BARBED WIRE BASEBALL BAT!
BARBED WIRE BAT TO THE SKULL!
SEESAW GRABS IT WITH BOTH HANDS, LAUGHING AS HE DOES!
BLOOD TRICKLES THROUGH HIS FINGERS AS LUKE STORM TRIES TO FORCE IT FORWARD.
SEESAW RIPS IT AWAY!
BARBED WIRE BAT TO THE MID-SECTION OF LUKE STORM BY SEESAW!
The Actor doubles over, receiving a second shot to the back!
Now the deranged fucking SeeSaw has a barbed wire bat. He aggressively begins ripping the barbed wire from it, wrapping it around his hand like a glove.
BARBED WIRE HAND TO NAKAMURA!
SHOT TO SIGIL!
SHOT TO SIR RENAULT!
IT’S A BARBY PARTY, BAYBEE!
Down goes every person with the vile shot the skull – though fortunately two have masks to lessen the blow. SeeSaw pulls Goro back to a knee and begins rubbing the barbed wire hand over his skull, cutting him wide open!
Mr. Make Believe slams him face down on the concrete after making mince-meat of his fucking skull!
ENTRY #9 – ETHER
The opening beats of “Electric Moves” by the Orion Experience fill the arena as colored smoke rises from the ramp. When the drumbeats hit, Ether skates through the smoke with a lollipop in her mouth and a smirk on her face. She bobs her head to the music as she slides her way down to the ring.
Once at ringside, she realizes there’s not a person inside the ring!
Ether hops onto the ring apron and swivels around the corner so that she’s aligned with SeeSaw who has no idea she’s there…
RUNNING HURICANRANNA TO SEESAW!
SHE NAILS HIM!
Entry number nine is bringing the fire.
Ether gets back to her feet and immediately takes her rollerskates off. She knows she needs to be on solid footing for this one.
BUT WAIT, SHE PUTS ONE ON EACH HAND!
Luke Storm is back to his feet…
ROLLERSKATE TO THE SKULL!
RIGHT HAND SKATE!
LEFT HAN SKATE!
LUKE STORM IS ON JELLY LEGS…
And there’s TGK standing on the barricade!
THE KARATE KID TO LUKE STORM!
LEAPING KICK TO THE FACE TAKES DOWN THE BAD MOTHER FUCKER!
That Eighties Kid gets back to his feet to see Ether running at him with a Skate in hand. He ducks underneath and drills her with a Neckbreaker straight into the floor.
The Kid grabs Luke and rolls him onto one of the tables before grabbing Ether and rolling her onto the other.
He’s got a wild idea.
FROM BEHIND WITH A STEEL CHAIR IS SIR RENAULT!
Renault slams the chair into the back of the Generation Kid and immediately drops it, grabbing TGK and rolling him back into the ring. He follows, but there’s no cover planned.
TGK gets back up…
THE LAST CRUSADE..
OVER THE TOP ROPE! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!
RELEASE CRUCIFIX POWERBOMB OVER THE TOP ROPE ONTO ETHER AND LUKE STORM, STRAIGHT THROUGH THE FUCKING TABLES!
“HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!”
SIR RENAULT HAS FUCKING DESTROYED THE GENERATION KID!
ROLL UP FROM BEHIND!
KICK OUT BY RENAULT!
THAT WAS CLOSE.
The Collector gets back to his feet and demands that Renault join him, which he does…
DROPKICK INTO THE FUCKING CORNER WITH SUCH POWER BY SIGIL!
RENAULT IS DONE! HE’S SURELY DONE!
ENTRY #10 – SIR GABLE
The lights go out.
Three crosses illuminate the stage.
Lazarus by Bellarive starts playing.
The moment the lyrics scream “Come out”, Gable rises through the stage through the middle cross.
YOU COULDN’T FUCKING WRITE IT!
WELL… YOU COULD…. I MEAN, I DID!
HERE COMES SIR FUCKING GABLE!
He makes a b-line for the ring, sliding in as Sigil gets back to his feet. Gable rushes at him, grabbing him quickly and launching him with an Overhead Suplex. We have over half of this match in the ringside area and not a single God damn elimination.
Gable immediately picks up Renault and demands that they go to work on Sigil, of which he naturally obliges. They both pull The Collector into the corner and beginning tearing him apart with right and left hands, boots and whatever else they can throw at him.
Renault grabs him by the head as Cael backs up…
HE THROWS SIGIL FORWARD..
SIGIL PORTALS OUT! SIGIL PORTALS OUT!
AND GABLE SPEARS RENAULT! HOLY FUCKING SHIT! GABLE SPEARS RENAULT!
The Collector throws Gable off and covers…
KICK OUT! ON THE FUCKING BUTTON, RENAULT KICKED OUT!
But here comes SeeSaw! SeeSaw is back into the ring and decks Sigil with a Clothesline as he gets back to his feet. Mr. Make Believe then goes after Gable, dragging him back to his feet.
INTO THE TORTURE RACK…
THE BIG WHEEL!
BUT THERE’S RENAULT!
RENAULT STOPS HIM WITH A KICK TO THE GUT!
GABLE DROPS OFF THE BACK…
BACKSTABBER BY GABLE!
SEESAW BOUNCES UP….
STRAIGHT INTO RENAULT AND THE PACKAGE PILEDRIVER! THAT WAS FUCKING EPIC!
THEY CALL THAT THE SIN BREAKER!
SEESAW HAS BEEN ELIMINATED! SEESAW IS OUR FIRST ELIMINATION! THE VHS CHAMPION IS OUTTA HERE!
Vayikra are responsible for our first elimination in this years Lambs to the Slaughter and what a fucking coup it was.
But they’re not alone any longer.
The Generation Kid unwisely rolls under the bottom rope and uses the ropes to get back to his feet.
Gable looks at Renault.
Renault looks at Gable.
Then the Cell starts lowering.
What the actual fuck is going on?
ENTRY #11 – VIGOUR
“The future is bulletproof.
The aftermath is secondary.
It’s time to do it now, and do it loud.
Killjoys, make some noise.”
The the heavy crash of drums and lilt of the guitar lick hit the speakers and the crowd is bathed in a writhing pulse of colour as the spotlights cycle through the colour spectrum.
Vigour runs out onto the stage and towards the ring, pumping up the crowd as he goes, before swiftly sliding under the bottom rope and kipping up, ready to go.
Vigour barely made it in as the Cell lowered around ringside. What the fuck is happening? Why is the cell being lowered?
Luckily for TGK, he’s no longer alone.
All four men storm towards one another, slamming together in a cacophony of violence. The Cell gets lowered to ground level and already people around the ringside area are noticing.
Luke Storm heads up one side.
Ether heads up too.
This is going to be fucking chaos.
Goro Nakamura and Sigil are on the other side, everyone climbing towards the top.
As Vayikra and The Rainbow Party do war in the middle of the ring, Luke Storm and Ether battle atop the cell.
Goro and Sigil finally make it too and start slugging it out.
This might not end well, folks.
VIGOUR SENDS GABLE INTO THE CELL WALL!
SIR RENAULT SENDS THE GENERATION KID INTO THE CELL WALL OPPOSITE!
AND THEN THEY FACE OFF… IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING…
THE TENSION HERE IS BUILDING TO A FEVER PITCH!
VIGOUR RIGHT HAND!
RENAULT LEFT HAND!
KNEE BY RENAULT!
KNEE BY VIGOUR!
Both men get back to a stand and hit the ropes…
Vigour ducks a Clothesline and Springboards off the middle rope.
RENAULT THROWS HIM OFF!
VIGOUR LANDS ON HIS FEET!
They go again, this time locking up! Renault takes control, swinging behind The Prince. He runs him into the ropes, only Vigour holds on and sends Renault sprawling backwards with a roll.
They both turn to meet once more…
WHAT A SEQUENCE!
Ether meanwhile is down on the roof of the cell and Luke Storm appears to be climbing the cabling in the corner. What the fuck is he doing? Is he fucking mad!?
Ether slowly gets up…
BLOCKBUSTER TO ETHER!
THEY BOTH DRIVE INTO THE FUCKING CELL ROOF WITH A THUD! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!
Goro Nakamura has Sigil down and trundles across the cell to Ether. He pulls her up and to the centre. Oh no… what’s he thinking?
NAMAKUBI THROUGH THE CELL ROOF!
OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!
OH MY FUCKING GOD!
SHE’S GOTTA BE DEAD! SHE’S GOTTA BE FUCKING DEAD!
GORO NAKAMURA JUST STEINER SCREWDRIVERED ETHER TWENTY FEET THROUGH THE FUCKING CELL TO THE GOD DAMN FUCKING CANVAS!
“HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!”
“THIS IS AWESOME!”
“IS SHE DEAD?”
“THIS IS AWESOME!”
“IS SHE DEAD?”
“THIS IS AWESOME!”
“IS SHE DEAD?”
Ether stirs just enough to let us know she’s alive, but Goro isn’t in much better condition and could have a broken fucking tailbone. He rolls away..
The Generation Kid meanwhile crawls into the cover…
YOU COULD COUNT TO A THOUSAND! IT WAS ALWAYS GONNA TAKE SOMETHING SPECIAL TO PUT ETHER DOWN AND MY GOD, THAT WAS BRUTAL!
ENTRY #12 – KAINE KNIGHTLORD
As the opening beats of No One Will Save You begins, a flame lights up on the stage and forms a ring.
A few moments pass and slowly Kaine Knightlord rises from underneath as the haunting beat continues. He saunters to the ring, focused on the competitors in the ring.
As he reaches ringside, he walks up the ring steps before facing out to the fans. He glares over them before looking back into the ring and eyeing the competitors inside. He spits blood into the air as he climbs into the ring, entering through the cell door.
Knightlord enters the steel cell and runs straight towards a getting up Gable, clobbering him with a Clothesline. He quickly turns to see Renault running in his direction and ducks under a wild right hand, turning him inside out…
SPINNING UNPRETTIER TO RENAULT!
Knightlord swivels back to his feet – watching as Banzan trundles through the door.
“YOU!” He roars.
We saw earlier that Tenchu was found dead, and Banzan wants answers. The Mountain storms across the ring and both he and Kaine start going toe to toe. Right and left hands are traded before Sir Gable and Sir Renault are back in the action.
Kaine is taken away by Gable.
Banzan is taken away by Renault.
BLOOD DRIVER TO SIR GABLE!
SAITO SUPLEX TO SIR RENAULT!
Both Banzan and Kaine get back to their feet, once again locking eyes from across the ring.
The Mountain runs at him…
KNIGHTLORD ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY!
Banzan crashes and burns in the corner! Sir Gable is back to his feet…
SPINNING UNPRETTIER TO GABLE!
KAINE KNIGHTLORD ELIMINATES SIR GABLE!
Meanwhile, back on top the cage and Sigil has Luke Storm…
He’s T-T-T-T-TEETERING ON THE EDGE!
Storm is about to go…. He’s about to go….
BUT HE SPINS IT! HE TURNS AND TOSSES SIGIL STRAIGHT THROUGH THE FUCKING AIR LIKE A GOD DAMN LAWN DART!
THE COLLECTOR IS GONNA CRASH AND BURN ON THE FUCKING ENTRANCE RAMP!
HE LEAPS THROUGH THE PORTAL, COMES OUT ON ONE BEHIND LUKE STORM AND SPEAAAAAARRRRR!
SPEAR OFF THE FUCKING CELL!
SPEAR OFF THE FUCKING CELL TO THE ENTRANCE RAMP BELOW!
THESE GUYS MUST BE BROKEN IN FUCKING HALF!
The crowd can’t believe it as Luke Storm and Sigil land on the floor with a sickening thud. They’re not moving, and they might not move again tonight. That was fucking brutal.
ENTRY #13 – CORVUS
“Foreboding” by Adrian Von Ziegler plays and the audience rises in recognition of the former OSW World Heavyweight Champion. Corvus oozes out of the shadows into The Slaughterhouse. Surveying the scene, he points his arms to the sky then throws down two smoke bombs. When the smoke clears Corvus has disappeared. Cut to the ring where Corvus has taken a knee on one of the top turnbuckles. Another smoke bomb clouds the vision and when it dissipates Corvus is in the middle of the ring, amidst the fray.
Entry number 13 signifies ten people in the match. Only SeeSaw, Ether and Sir Gable have been eliminated.
When Corvus’ smoke bomb clears, he’s immediately ducking a Clothesline by Kaine Knightlord…
THE BLACK HAND’S BLADE!
RKO TO THE VAMPIRE!
NOOOOOOOOOOOO! KICK OUT BY KAINE!
Corvus gets back to his feet and there’s Viper Roberts, looking for some revenge from earlier. Kick to the gut…
ODE TO THE SNAKE!
Corvus blocks it and pushes away..
FLASH KICK TO THE SKULL OF ROBERTS! That stumbles him backwards into Vigour.
VIM AND VIGOUR!
LUMBAR CHECK TO ROBERTS!
He should cover but Sir Renault has him from behind, RUNNING HIM STRAIGHT INTO THE SIDE OF THE STEEL! WHAT FEROCITY!
Vigour bounces off with a thud, rolling backwards. The Generation Kid meanwhile is on the top rope and leaps off…
BLACK HANDS BLADE!
RKO OUT OF NO-WHERE IN MID-AIR TO THE GENERATION KID!
DOWN GOES THAT EIGHTIES GUY!
Renault grabs Vigour again, this time looking towards Goro Nakamura for assistance. They both back him up and run him towards the steel cell door…
THEY FUCKING LAUNCH VIGOUR THROUGH IT! THE DOOR SNAPS OFF ITS FUCKING HINGES! HOLY FUCKING SHIT! VIGOUR HAS JUST BEEN THROWN TO THE OUTSIDE VIOLENTLY!
Back inside the ring and Corvus is pinning Roberts…
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ROBERTS KICKS OUT AT THE LAST FUCKING SECOND!
Banzan is by now back to his feet and grabs Goro, slamming him with an uppercut as Renault follows Vigour to the outside to continue their war. Knightlord spins Banzan around and looks for an uppercut of his own.
GORO WITH AN UPPERCUT TO KAINE.
BANZAN WITH AN UPPERCUT TO GORO
KAINE WITH AN UPPERCUT TO BANZAN!
IT’S UPPERCUT CITY, BITCH!
All three men stumble back and forward, delivering uppercuts after uppercuts until Knightlord falls to one knee. Banzan runs at Goro, dropping him with a Clothesline on the way to his ropes and continues back…
SHINING WIZARD TO KNIGHTLORD!
ENTRY #14 – GUNNAR KAI
A piano line begins to be heard over the PA system. It is soon accompanied by drums and bass..
“Cut me open, and you’ll find..”
“A brain, heart, liver, lungs..”
“..And a knife in the spine..”
To the rhythm of the band, stage lights begin to flicker as a low smoke rolls onto the stage area. Through the darkness steps a slender silhouette of a man, the stage lights reflecting off the visor that covers his eyes. He saunters down to the ring while running a hand through his silver hair.
IT’S GUNNAR KAI!
He enters the cell just in time to see Goro getting back to his feet. He runs at Banzan, slamming him across the back of the head with a double forearm.
The Mountain turns around angrily to see who’s hitting him.
CYBER CITY KILLLLERRRRRRR!
RKO OUT OF NO-WHERE!
THAT’LL FUCK WITH ZERO!
Kai turns around to see Goro and both of them now rush towards Knightlord, who’s out numbered.
Goro lifts him up…
POWERBOMB TO KNIGHTLORD!
BUT GORO HOLDS ON…
AND HE HOLDS ON AGAIN….
ONLY TO TOSS HIM TOWARDS GUNNAR…
THE CYBER CITY MESSIAH IS LEAPING OFF THE MIDDLE ROPE….
FLYING CHUCK KICK TO THE BACK OF THE FALLING KNIGHTLORDS HEAD!
KAINE KNIGHTLORD HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Meanwhile, on the outside, Vigour and Sir Renault have been climbing the cell. They’re making their way to the top and there’s no-one to stop them.
When they reach the top, they immediately begin slugging it out, delivering left and right hands as they battle exactly where they were only last week.
Who has a score to settle? Is it Renault who took the dive, or Vigour, who hung? Either way, this doesn’t look good.
On the entrance ramp, Luke Storm and Sigil have begun stirring.
Back inside the ring and Goro has noticed Luke Storm – which naturally, is of great interest. He directs Gunnar Kai to go get him and he obliges, grabbing him by the hair and tossing him back inside the cell.
Storm crawls across the canvas towards Goro, who bends down to look at him.
“Send Xavier my regards,” he says with a grimace before standing back up.
He runs into the ropes…
LUKE STORM WITH A FUCKING SUPERKICK OUT OF NO-WHERE!
THAT STUMBLES GORO!
Kai comes in from behind, but there’s Banzan with a massive TIGER CLAW!
FIVE POINT PALM STRIKE TO KAI!
Nakamura stumbles back towards Luke..
“Tell him yourself, dickhead.”
KICK TO THE GUT!
GALE MOTHER FUCKING FORCE!
ENTRY #15 – THE IMPALER
A miasma of thick black smoke flows out on to the entrance ramp as Wrong Side of Heaven by Five Finger Death Punch begins to play and after a few moments the smoke recedes as if forming from the smoke itself the demon Legion aka The Impaler stands.
As the song continues to play he makes his way to the ring.
Before entering the ring he rolls his head almost unnaturally back across his shoulders and from the exposed corner of his mask we can make out a sinister sneer.
The Impaler looks up at the fighting Vigour and Sir Renault, immediately going under the ring and grabbing something that might come in handy…
It’s a long rope with a noose.
Then he starts to climb.
Once at the top, both Vigour and Renault back off… almost as if to query why he’s even there. The Impaler tosses the rope between them and backs away, climbing BACK down the fucking cell.
Are you kidding me?
Renault rushes for the rope, only for Vigour to leap with a fierce Dropkick that sends him tumbling over. He looks down at The Generation Kid, who gives him a nod.
What’re they thinking?
Vigour grabs the noose and wraps it around Sir Renaults head. Oh no… Please… not this again…
Darth Jesus tries to fight back, slamming fists into the mid-section of The Prince of Party, stumbling him back.
Both men are back to their feet now, Vigour ducking under a weak Clothesline attempt and TOSSING RENAULT THROUGH THE GAP IN THE CELL!
THE NOOSE CATCHES TIGHT AND SIR RENAULT PANICS!
OH MY GOD!
HE’S BEING FUCKING HUNG THROUGH THE CENTRE OF THE CELL!
HE KICKS WILDLY AS VIGOUR HOLDS HIM WITH ALL HIS MIGHT, LOOKING DOWN AT THE GENERATION KID…
VIGOUR DROPS HIM…
HE’S CAUGHT IN POSITION BY TGK…
ROCK BOTTOM! ROCK BOTTOM! ROCK BOTTOM!
AN EXCELLENT ADVENTURE!
THE KID COVERS…
SIR RENAULT HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
The fans roar with approval as Sir Renault joins the elimination list. There’s still ten people in this match and only five have been eliminated with five to come. This one is still open to any winner.
Suddenly, the cell starts rising.
Vigour, wisely begins climbing down, just dropping through the centre of the cell before it gets too high to safely do so. Whoever’s controlling this thing has decided that enough is enough.
Meanwhile, Vigour drops straight into The Impaler!
VIGOUR PANICS AS THE IMPALER DRAGS HIM AROUND THE FUCKING RING!
The Generation Kid quickly rushes to his aide…
DOC BROWNS DELEORAN!
SPEAR! SPEAR! SPEAR!
SPEAR THROUGH THE IMPALER AND VIGOUR! OH MY GOD! HE SPEARED THEM BOTH TO HELL!
ENTRY #16 – THE DEAD
As the klaxon sounded, the stage is immediately bombarded by strobe lights and “Scavengers Of The Damned” by Aiden blares out over the speakers. A man, face obscured by a funeral shroud, walks out onto the stage, pausing at the top of the ramp. Moving his hand towards his ‘mask’, he pulls it away, revealing…
Making his first OSW appearance since the days The Virus ran rampant, the former Painkiller paces like a caged animal, before making a beeline to the ring, sliding under the bottom rope with fists already clenched.
The fans are going wild for the number 16 entry; The Dead.
He rushes into action, finding Viper Roberts waiting and dropping him with a Clothesline.
Clothesline for The Generation Kid!
Clothesline for Gunnar Kai!
But here comes Goro Nakamura! Goro charges him into the corner and starts going to work. Vigour approaches, pulling Nakamura away…
VIM AND – NOOOOOOOO!
GUNNAR KAI IS THERE WITH A LOW BLOW TO MA16 – THE DEADKE THE SAVE!
Vigour drops Goro and drops to his knees, only able to watch as Gunnar leaps back and drops him with a Superkick to the jaw.
Kai goes to check on Goro but gets clobbered from behind by The Impaler! The Impaler drags him away and into a massive Back Drop, slamming him hard into the canvas. He slides to the outside, going towards the ladder that Sigil once had and placing it across the ring apron and the barricade.
This isn’t gonna be good.
He gets back on the apron, only there’s Viper Roberts! Roberts attacks, stepping out onto the apron to join The Impaler.
MANDIBLE CLAW TO THE IMPALER!
ROBERTS HAS IT LOCKED IN!
THROUGH THE FUCKING LADDER!
OH MY FUCKING GOD!
NEST OF VIPERS!
MANDIBLE CLAW CHOKESLAM THROUGH THE FUCKING LADDER AND THE IMPALER IS DAMN NEAR BROKEN IN FUCKING HALF!
Roberts turns around…
THE FINAL BREATH!
BULLHAMMER TO THE THROAT BY THE DEAD!
Viper falls off the apron, crumbling to the floor!
The Dead turns around, walking straight into a recovered Luke Storm. Storm lunges forward with a kick, only The Painkiller dodges it, pulling him in close and locking in both arms.
THE DEATH RATTLE!
Luke Storm goes down! The Actor may have a broken nose after those series of Headbutts. The Dead walks away, straight into a kick to the gut by Sigil, who nails him with a DDT! Corvus though is back in the thick of it and grabs Sigil as he gets back up, telling him they need to work together to survive the night. Sigil nods in agreement, just as the buzzer sounds.
ENTRY #17 – CHRONOA
A heavy grey mist fills the Slaughterhouse as a rising crescendo fills the air. A lone figure stands in the entranceway, their head slowly rising as the gutteral melody of a guitar begins to pierce through the crescendo.
And as the bass drops, Chronoa’s arms spread wide, dissipating the mist with a sinister grin etched upon her face.
Before sprinting down the entrance ramp at blinding speed.
Within seconds, she reaches just before the ring , leaping high into the air above the ropes before rolling through.
CLOTHESLINE BY FUCKING HELL!
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!
CORVUS JUST TOOK HER FUCKING HEAD OFF!
The minute she leaped over the top rope, Corvus was there and waiting to damn near decapitate a bitch! He turns around to see Vigour coming and nails him with a DROP TOE HOLD! VIGOUR LANDS THROAT FIRST ACROSS THE BOTTOM ROPE!
Corvus quickly pulls himself over the top…
LEGDROP ACROSS THE HEAD OF VIGOUR! RIGHT ON THE RING APRON!
Corvus goes under the ring apron and pulls out a set of tables, dragging them towards the entrance ramp. He begins setting them up, looking for a way to ruin someone’s night. The Crow goes back under one last time, finding a barbed wire table for good measure. He now has three set up, one after the other, heading up the entrance ramp.
What he doesn’t realize is; on the other side of the ring, The Impaler is back to his feet.
Legion slides under the bottom rope, making a b-line towards Corvus on the outside…
SIGIL CATCHES HIM OUT OF FUCKING NO-WHERE WITH A BRUTAL DROPKICK!
CHRONOA BREAKS UP THE NEAR FALL!
What the fuck!?
She grabs Sigil and runs him through the middle rope to the outside, before pulling The Impaler up.
THE PANDEMONIUM CURSE!
WE SEE YOU, EDDIE NEWTS!
THE IMPALER HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Corvus and Sigil though aren’t impressed, sliding back into the ring to face her. She gets back up, looking to defend herself against the two on one assault that cometh.
SUPERKICK TO CORVUS!
INTO THE SHADOWS!
Sigil grabs her from behind…
LONG ROAD AHEAD! He slams her back first over his knee and then demolishes her face with a barrage of elbows. Throwing her off, Sigil gets back up…
BANZAN NAILS HIM WITH A FUCKING KINSASHA! DOWN GOES THE COLLECTOR!
Corvus though isn’t having that.
BLACK HANDS BLADE!
RKO TO BANZAN!
The former OSW World Champion is back to his feet, but there’s The Generation Kid!
AN EXCELLENT ADVENTURE!
VIGOUR OFF THE TOP…
FIVE…. STAR…. FROGSPLASH!
A SPLASH OF COLOUR!
Vigour and TGK pin Corvus together…
CORVUS HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
And there comes the buzzer!
ENTRY #18 – TAG
The lights go out, soon replaced with strobing purple and green as Sexy Dynamite begins to play. Tag appears at the top of the ramp, looking down at the fans for a moment before getting on his board and taking off down the ramp.
He builds up speed, going as fast as he can before ollieing, kicking his board into his hands and landing on the apron. He vaults over the ropes, playing to the crowd as he lands in the ring.
This is unbelievable.
The former OSW World Champion has been eliminated and we’re left with ten in the ring and another two after Tag. Who could they be?
Vigour and TGK are back to their feet in celebration of that excellent elimination, only here’s Sigil and Tag! Both men blindside them, working together to drop Rainbow Party where they stand!
Here comes The Dead, tackling Tag to the canvas!
Sigil meanwhile has The Generation Kid and tosses him over the top rope to where the tables are. What the fuck does he have in mind? TGK has been here since early doors, but so has Banzan, Goro Nakamura, Luke Storm and Viper Roberts. They must be exhausted.
Gunnar Kai on the other hand has a steel chair in hand.
CHAIR SHOT TO THE DEAD!
CHAIR SHOT TO TAG!
CHAIR SHOT TO VIGOUR!
But wait… The Dead didn’t feel that. He stands up, looking at Kai with disgust.
CHAIR SHOT TO THE DEAD!
CHAIR SHOT TO THE DEAD
HE’S BEGGING FOR ANOTHER…
CHAIR SHOT TO THE DEAD
THERE’S FUCKING BLOOD…
CHAIR SHOT TO THE DEAD
CHAIR SHOT TO THE DEAD
CHAIR SHOT TO THE DEAD
THE CHAIR IS BROKEN! THE CHAIR IS FUCKING BROKEN… AND
WHILST WOOZY, THE DEAD REMAINS FUCKING STANDING!
Gunnar Kai can’t believe it.
THE FINAL BREATH!
BULLHAMMER TO THE THROAT OF KAI!
He stumbles backwards into the ropes and falls forward…
GUNNAR KAI HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
The Dead gets back to his feet and stumbles – he may not have felt those chair shots but that doesn’t mean his body isn’t hurting in its own way. He stumbles into the ropes, collapsing through them to the outside.
Vigour meanwhile is back to his feet, not noticing Viper Roberts is stalking him…
VIGOUR HAS BEEN LIMINATED!
And here comes entry number 19!
ENTRY #19 – REZIN DECKARD
As “Iron Horse” by Motorhead hits, the sound of a roaring engine echo throughout the entire arena.
“He rides a road that don’t have no end
An open highway without any bends
Tramp and his stallion, alone in a dream!”
Just then, through the tunnel and onto the ramp comes Rezin Deckard, on a motorcycle that he revs for good measure.
He stops it there, turning off the engine before making a walk towards the ring. He stops at ringside to see TGK and Sigil fighting and pulls a metal pipe from within his vest.
WHAM! PIPE TO SIGIL!
WHAM! PIPE TO TGK!
He slides into the ring to meet up with Goro, who’s stood there in exhaustion, waiting.
Both men hug before Rezin steps away to NAIL LUKE STORM WITH A FUCKING PIPE TO THE SKULL!
Here comes Banzan…
CLOTHESLINE FROM FUCKING HELL TO BANZAN!
Viper Roberts attacks next with forearms to the back, but Goro stops him, dragging him away…
SNAKE OIL! SNAKE OIL TO THE FUCKING EYES OF GORO! NAKAMURA IS BLINDED!
He stumbles into Rezin Deckard, not realizing who it is.
BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX TO REZIN DECKARD! GORO JUST TOOK OUT HIS OWN FUCKING GUY!
And here comes Sigil! He’s fucking pissed…
FINITE! FINITE TO NAKAMURA!
LEAPING ROUNDHOUSE TO THE FUCKING JAW!
Down goes Goro! Sigil turns around to see Tag! TAG WITH A LOW BLOW TO SIGIL!
SPRAY BACK! SPRAY BACK TO THE COLLECTOR!
SINGLE LEG POWERBOMB LUNGBLOWER!
SIGIL HAS BEEN ELIMINATED BY TAG! HOLY FUCKING SHIT, WHAT AN ELIMINATION!
A former OSW World Champion is outta here, but there’s still three left!
With Goro stumbling back to his feet, he has no idea that Luke Storm is there waiting for him…
STUNNER TO NAKAMURA!
Storm leaps into the cover…
GORO NAKAMURA HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
The second entry in this match has finally been eliminated. Can you believe it? Goro Nakamura started this match with Banzan and The Mountain remains in active competition.
There’s eight left in the ring with one to come… who’s next? Who’s joining the fray as the final participant in this years Lambs to the Slaughter?
ENTRY #20 – SIMON
The lights in the Slaughterhouse dim as horns begin to blare throughout the area, leading all eyes to the entrance as the man himself steps out to “Simon Says” by Pharaohe Monch, keeping his eyes on the ring. As the music continues playing, Simon makes his way toward the ring, never losing focus as the Taskmaster mentally prepares himself for what’s to come before finally sliding into the ring.
This is it.
Simon is the final entry of Lambs to the Slaughter 2022. The Taskmaster joins eight other people – nearly half of the match, for what will be an utterly explosive end to the night.
The Dead – still woozy from that earlier chair assault, gets back to his feet, only to be rolled up by The Generation Kid!
BACK TO THE FUTURE!
KICK OUT BY THE DEAD!
TGK gets back to his feet as both men spring away from the pinfall attempt.
THE FINAL BREATH!
The Generation Kid ducks it and spins The Painkiller..
AN EXCELLENT ADVENTURE TO THE DEAD!
THE DEAD HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Simon has escaped the ring to the outside, going into hiding. He doesn’t want any part of what’s to come.
Rezin Deckard is back to his feet…
“Hey, mother fucker…”
A very ominous sounding Zero stands atop the entrance ramp with a microphone and a sledgehammer.
“Remember me, you fuckin’ cunt?”
SLEDGEHAMMER TO THE MOTORCYCLE!
HOLY FUCKING SHIT!
ZERO JUST KNOCKED OVER THE GOD DAMN BIKE!
Deckard wants to leave the ring, but there’s Simon – ever the opportunist!
Deckard falls into the ropes and Simon rolls him up…
REZIN DECKHARD HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Zero laughs into the microphone as he leaves the damaged bike and heads backstage – meanwhile, Deckard is outta here!
And we, quite unbelievably, are down to seven!
Former OSW World Champions in Luke Storm, Banzan and Viper Roberts are by now back to their feet. There’s a look amongst them, as if something might’ve just clicked.
They walk towards the centre of the ring, talking among themselves.
This could be bad for everyone else.
Simon has inevitably left the ring, leaving Chronoa, Tag and The Generation Kid. There’s no love lost between Tag and TGK, but if they want to survive, they’re going to need to fight together!
BUT TAG PUSHES CHRONOA INTO STORM!
DOWN GOES THE HARBINGER!
THAT FUCKING COWARD!
He turns to face TGK, kicking him low with an awful Low Blow that incapacitates him too. What the fuck is this cunt doing? He turns to Storm, Banzan and Viper – offering a high five in celebration.
RIGHT HAND BY STORM!
Banzan with a LEFT!
Viper grabs him and tosses him over the top rope, heading to the outside near the barbed wire tables.
Banzan pulls Chronoa back to her feet..
NO! CHRONOA FLIPS OUT! SHE EVADES!
KICK TO THE GUT OF BANZAN!
Chronoa runs to the corner, leaping up the turnbuckles like a cat before LEAPING BACKWARDS!
COFFIN DROP! COFFIN DROP TO BANZAN!
THAT’S A PAGE OUT OF DARBY SORROW’S BOOK, MAY HE REST IN PEACE!
Chronoa gets back to her feet as Banzan gets to his knees.
HAS… ALREADY… BEEN… WRITTEN!
SIMON IS THERE!
CHRONOA GETS DROPPED!
THE TASKMASTER QUICKLY LOCKS IN THE FIGURE FOUR… CHECKMATE! CHECKMATE!
The Harbinger screams but she doesn’t have a choice…
SHE TAPS! SHE TAPS!
CHRONOA HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Simon gets back to her feet looking proud of himself. He’s been a complete coward, only getting into the match when the opportunity presents it. He swaggers, turning around…
IT’S LUKE STORM!
THE COLOUR DRAINS FROM SIMON’S FACE!
The Tempest storms at him, backing him straight into the corner. He immediately begins delivering left and right hands, slamming away as hard as he can as the fans cheer him on.
Luke stops, whipping Simon as hard as he can into the corner!
The Taskmaster slams over the fucking corner turnbuckle and rope with the ferocity, landing him on the ring apron. Simon can barely believe the power in which he was almost obliterated there. He’s now right by the two tables. Viper Roberts and Tag are fighting up the entrance ramp… what the fuck is he gonna do?
Storm heads out onto the ring apron and grabs Simon, lifting him up onto his shoulders.
What the fuck is he thinking?
Knees to the side of head rock The Actor, forcing him to release Simon, who drops down off the apron and falls backwards into the tables.
BLOCKBUSTER THROUGH ONE OF THE THREE FUCKING TABLES!
LUKE STORM DRIVES HIMSELF AND SIMON THROUGH ONE OF THE THREE FUCKING TABLES!
HOLY SHIT! HOLY FUCKING SHIT!
There’s carnage now! Both men are down.
Meanwhile, Tag and Viper are fighting near Rezin’s downed motorcycle. Viper slams him face first into the heated body work, calling him to scream. He backs off, walking into a kick. Roberts lifts him up and runs him HEAD FIRST INTO THE FUCKING BACKDROP OF THE STAGE! JESUS CHRIST!
Banzan is by now back to his feet inside the ring, alone with The Generation Kid. These two warriors have been here since third and first respectively.
The Mountain grabs the kid and whips him across the ring, only TGK baseball slides to the outside to evade.
Banzan rushes over the to the ropes, only The Kid is quick and slides back in between his legs. He gets straight back up and drives himself into the ropes, coming back with a Crossbody Block!
The Mountain catches him!
He re-positions him!
KICK OUT! THE GENERATION KICKS OUT! THAT’S FUCKING UNBELIEVABLE!
Banzan can’t believe it. He gets back to his feet and backs off, signalling for the end.
But here comes Luke Storm and Simon. They’re brawling back into the ring. These two just went through tables and here they are…
TGK gets back to a knee…
THE KID DUCKS! BANZAN NAILS STORM!
TGK rushes into the ropes and comes back…
DOC BROWNS DELOREAN TO BANZAN! HOLY FUCKING SHIT! AS BANZAN TURNED, HE GOT NAILED!
Simon quickly pulls Luke Storm back to his feet…
SIMONPLEX! SIMONPLEX TO LUKE STORM!
THE FISHERMAN SUPLEX NAILS HIM!
TGK MEANWHILE COVERS BANZAN…
LUKE STORM HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
KICK OUT BY BANZAN!
IN FUCKING STEREO!
HOLY FUCKING SHIT! WE ALMOST HAD TWO FORMER WORLD CHAMPIONS ELIMINATED IN STEREO!
BUT LUKE STORM IS OUTTA HERE!
The Kid gets back to his feet and stumbles backwards into the ropes. Simon is up too, laughing at Luke Storm who he just eliminated. ROLL UP BY TGK!
ROLL UP ON SIMON!
KICK OUT! SIMON KICKS OUT! THE TASKMASTER REFUSES TO BE DONE JUST YET!
Meanwhile back at the entrance ramp and Viper Roberts has left Tag as a crumpled mess and is making his way back to the ring. There’s two tables left out there, one with barbed wire on it and one that doesn’t. He takes down the barbed wire table and slides it under the bottom rope.
SKATEBOARD TO THE FUCKING HEAD!
TAG OUTTA NO-WHERE!
HE WAS DOWN AND HE LOOKED OUT, BUT HE’S CLEARLY FAR FROM IT BECAUSE VIPER ROBERTS JUST HAD A FUCKING SKATEBOARD WRAPPED ABOUT HIS HEAD! Tag picks Viper up and rolls him onto the table left out there, punching away at him.
Back in the ring and TGK drops Simon with a thunderous Clothesline, forcing him to roll to the outside.
Here comes Banzan!
The Mountain runs at The Kid with a Clothesline of his own, only The Kid blocks it!
BANZAN ELBOWS OUT! THE KID CAN’T LIFT HIM!
LOW BLOW TO BANZAN! LOW BLOW TO BANZAN!
BANZAN HAS BEEN ELIMINATED! OH MY GOD! THE GENERATION KID – ENTRY NUMBER 3, ELIMINATES A FORMER WORLD CHAMPION IN ENTRY #1, BANZAN!
We’re down to four.
THE FINAL FOUR.
One of these four will headline Ring of Dreams!
It’s Tag, Viper Roberts, Simon and The Generation Kid.
TGK and Viper have been here since #3 and #5 respectively. #3 has been the most won from position in OSW history with two other people winning from entry #3. Last year it was Luke Storm and in 2017, it was Solomon Rhodes.
BUT WE DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THAT…
SHOOTING STAR PRESS FROM THE FUCKING RING APRON!
STAR FADE! STAR FADE!
STRAIGHT THROUGH THE FUCKING TABLE!
STRAIGHT THROUGH VIPER FUCKING ROBERTS!
TAG HAS JUST BRUTALLY PUT HIMSELF AND VIPER THROUGH A GOD DAMN TABLE ON THE OUTSIDE!
Sexy Dynamite is back to his feet, showing the great resilience his age brings and he’s rolling Roberts back into the ring. He’s gonna end this one.
TGK has rolled to the outside.
Simon is also on the outside.
Both are recovering.
Tag can eliminate a former OSW World Champion, right here, right now.
WHAT THE FUCK!?
The entire arena has gone pitch black.
THE LIGHTS ARE BACK ON!
IT’S THE SNAKE!
IT’S VIPER ROBERTS FUCKING SNAKE!
HOLY FUCKING SHIT!
THE SNAKE STANDS OPPOSITE TAG WITH A STEEL CHAIR!
STEEL CHAIR TO THE FUCKING SKULL!
The Snake slams the chair into Tag and drops it on the canvas, rolling Sexy Dynamite back to his feet and in position…
PILEDRIVER ON THE STEEL FUCKING CHAIR! PILEDRIVER ON THE FUCKING STEEL!
The Snake grabs Roberts and places him atop Tag…
Not like this….
TAG HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
TAG FINISHES FOURTH IN HIS FIRST LAMBS TO THE SLAUGHTER!
The Snake plays dividends for Viper Roberts here tonight.
BUT THERE’S SIMON!
SIMON GRABS THE SNAKE! THEY’RE TUSSLING! OH MY GOD! COULD THIS BE IT!? COULD THIS BE THE MOMENT…?
SIMON RIPS OFF THE HOOD!
OH MY FUCKING GOD!
SIMON STUMBLES BACKWARDS IN UTTER FUCKING SHOCK!
NO-ONE CAN BELIEVE IT! NO-ONE!
THE SNAKE IS…. IT’S….
IT’S FUCKING WIZ!
WIZ JUST COST TAG THE LAMBS TO THE SLAUGHTER MATCH! WIZ WAS THE ONE WHO DRANK DOWN VIPERS CONCOCTION AND BECAME A SNAKE! WHY!? WHY THE FUCK DID HE DO THAT!?
IS THIS THE END OF JET SET RADIO?!
OH MY FUCKING GOD!
Wiz slides to the outside and walks away as quickly as he can, leaving Simon in utter shock. Jet Set Radio work for Simon; he brought them here. What the fuck is happening?
As the crowd murmur and look on in shock, something even odder happens.
DAVE THE RABBIT IS HERE! DAVE THE FUCKING RABBIT – WE HAVEN’T SEEN HIM SINCE THE DEATH OF THE FOREVER FRIENDS!
Viper is down.
Simon is slumped in the corner in shock.
And TGK is on the outside, preparing to get back into the ring.
But right there on the entrance ramp, Dave sits eating a fucking carrot!
“Oi, you little blighter!”
The sound of a familiar Australian voice echoes throughout the arena. Wait a minute… is that?
IT’S CHIP MONTANA!
HOLY FUCKING SHIT!
Chip Montana rushes out onto the stage with a net on a stick and DIVES AT DAVE!
DAVE RUNS AWAY!
Chip gets back to his feet in embarrassment, watching as Dave scoots off and runs away, leaving him stood there like a right fucking plumb.
“Rabbits, roight?” He scoffs.
THEN HE LEAVES!
HAS CHIP MONTANA JUST RETURNED TO OLD SCHOOL WRESTLING!?
I THINK FUCKING SO!
As the audience laugh at the comic relief of Chip Montana, who quickly exits the stage, we head back to the ring where the end of Lambs to the Slaughter is no doubt in sight.
We’re down to the final three.
Viper Roberts, TGK and Simon are all now stood in the middle of the ring. It comes down to this final battle. One of these guys will Headline Ring of Dreams VIII – but whom?
Simon and Viper both turn their attention to TGK, who gulps.
It’s no surprise, but he’s in trouble.
They storm him, slamming him into the corner and going to work. Right and left hands begin taking him apart, piece by piece, until Simon drags him out and into a Hip Toss.
Viper Roberts sets up the barbed wire table in the corner.
He knows exactly what he wants to do. He tells Simon to get The Kid up, directing traffic.
That doesn’t sit well with The Taskmaster.
Simon refuses, telling Roberts to do it himself.
Both men come nose to nose in front of the barbed wire table that’s leaning against the corner turnbuckle, each bitching and moaning about who should oversee kicking The Generation Kids ass.
IT DESCENDS INTO VIOLENCE!
Both men begin slugging it out.
DOUBLE DROPKICK BY THE GENERATION KID!
STRAIGHT THROUGH THE FUCKING BARBED WIRE TABLE!
OH MY GOD!
SIMON AND VIPER ROBERTS SLAM INTO THE TABLE AND THERE’S BARBED WIRE, PIECES OF TABLE AND BLOOD EVERYWHERE!
TGK pulls Viper from the wreckage, barbed wire still attached to his hair and clothes, but he just about gets him away from the table.
Wait a second…
He’s going to the top rope.
What the fuck are you doing, kid?
TOP ROPE BODY SPLASH!
STRAIGHT DOWN ON VIPER!
STRAIGHT DOWN ON THE BARBED WIRE WRAPPED UP IN HIM!
HOLY FUCKING SHIT!
HE’S IMMEDIATELY INTO THE COVER…
VIPER ROBERTS HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Can you fucking believe it!? The Generation Kid is absolutely shook. He pulls barbs from his clothes and chest, scooting backward in shock that he just did what we just saw. He’s bleeding on his hands and through his shirt, but he just eliminated a former OSW World Champion.
However, he’s not alone.
As he gets back to his feet, Simon has also removed himself from the carnage.
And he’s… pissed.
It comes down to this, folks.
Lambs to the Slaughter 2022.
SIMON vs. THE GENERATION KID.
Entry #20 versus Entry #3.
As both men begin to circle one another in the middle of the ring, something special happens.
Vigour and Starboy head out onto the stage, both holding steel chairs.
They stand guard, making sure that no-one dares interfere in what we’re about to see.
Both men lock up, Simon taking control of The Kid and transitioning into a Hammerlock. He wrenches it on, pushing TGK forward until he wisely drops down and scoots back under, between his legs. He pops up behind and locks in a waist lock, looking for a German Suplex.
Simon though blocks…
He turns him, pulling him inside and DDT!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THAT EIGHTIES KID KICKS OUT!
It’s gonna take a little more to finish this one. The Taskmaster gets back to his feet and signals for the end, grabbing the legs and…
FIGURE FOUR LEGLOCK!
IT’S LOCKED IN!
THE GENERATION KID SCREAMS IN AGONY, BUT THERE’S NO WAY TO BREAK THE HOLD! THERE’S NO ROPE BREAKS IN LAMBS TO THE SLAUGHTER! HE’S BELLOWING!
HIS HAND IS COMING DOWN…
WILL HE TAP!?
IS HE GOING TO TAP!?
HE FUCKING WONT!
HE SCREAMS…. AND TURNS OVER THE HOLD! HE TURNS OVER THE HOLD!
Simon now screams in agony, releasing the hold as quickly as he can. Both men roll away to recover, but Simon is back to his feet first. He grabs TGK by the head and pulls him back to his feet…
TGK PUSHES OUT!
NO-BODY CALLS ME YELLOW!
BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX!
HE DROPS HIM!
TGK dives into the cover…
The Generation Kid gets back to his feet. He wants this; you can see it in his eyes. It’s the biggest fight of his fucking career. There’s no doubt about it.
He heads to the middle rope and waits for Simon to get back to his feet…
THE BREAKFAST CLUB!
DOUBLE AXE HANDLE SMASH FROM THE MIDDLE ROPE!
He’s feeling it now!
It’s fucking feeling it!
Up to the top rope he goes….
TOP ROPE BODY SPLASH!
SIMON GETS HIS FUCKING KNEES UP!
The scream echoes as TGK lands awkwardly on the knees, definitely breaking ribs in the process. Simon gets back up and demands that The Kid get back up as well.
Slowly but surely he does… getting to his knees… crawling…
Simon runs into the ropes…
THE FINAL WORD!
KILL IT WITH FIRE!
TGK ROLLED AWAY! HE FUCKING ROLLED AWAY!
BACK TO THE FUTURE!
SIMON KICKS OUT! HE BARELY KICKS OUT!
They both spring away from the backslide and TGK is fucking exhausted. He’s barely able to stand.
The Taskmaster leans into the ropes, realizing that this is no walk in the park. If he wants to win, he’s going to need a little something extra. He slides to the outside and grabs a steel chair, entering the ring with it.
The Generation Kid stumbles back to his feet.
He doesn’t have the energy…
STEEL CHAIR TO THE FUCKING SKULL!
THE KARATE KID! KRANE KICK TO THE FUCKING CHAIR, STRAIGHT INTO SIMON’S STUPID FUCKING FACE!
The fans roar as Simon drops the chair and stumbles backwards.
RIGHT ON THE FUCKING STEEL CHAIR!
AN EXCELLENT ADVENTURE!
IS THIS IT…
COULD THIS BE IT….
TGK HOOKS THE LEG….
SIMON HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
TGK HAS DONE IT!
THE GENERATION KID HAS FUCKING DONE IT!
THE ROAR FROM THE CROWD IS UNLIKE ANYTHING YOU’VE EVER FUCKING HEARD! THE AUDIENCE GO ABSOLUTELY WILD!
The Generation Kid can’t believe it. He rolls away in utter exhaustion as Starboy and Vigour run towards the ring, dropping their steel chairs in excitement as they do. They both slide in and tackle The Generation Kid, screaming in his face – roaring with palpable excitement. Starboy and Vigour help him back to his feet, lifting him into the air and confetti falls around us.
The Generation Kid is going to the show.
He’s going to Main Event Ring of Dreams VIII.
The fans cheer as Vigour and Starboy parade an exhausted Generation Kid around the ring, celebrating the biggest victory of his fucking career.
What a match.
“SEASONS DON’T FEAR”
A portal opens and Sigil steps through, appearing at the doors of the warehouse. Whilst stood outside, he’s not sure what to expect when he enters.
He carefully steps inside, taking a deep breath.
And there, waiting for him, is Corvus.
[ Sigil ] “Is he coming?”
There’s a pause.
The sound of something heavy slams behind Sigil, forcing the Collector to half turn his head towards the darkened door he entered through behind him.
Something isn’t right.
[ Corvus ] “Of all the things I thought you were, foolish was not one of them.”
The Collector immediately tries to portal but can’t.
The Crow looks up at the ceiling.
[ Corvus ] “A Primordial Trap.”
He says, pointing up.
[ Corvus ] “Your escape powers won’t work in here.”
[ Sigil ] “If anyone’s foolish, it’s you Crow. You had the chance to work with me to kill Death – your master, once and for all. I could’ve given you what he hadn’t.
There’s a pause.
Suddenly, pale faced men and women wearing black suits begin coming from all directions, surrounding Sigil who is vastly outnumbered.
[ Corvus ] “I’ll never work for or with you, Collector.”
They start closing in.
[ Corvus ] “Season’s don’t fear The Reaper; but Death sent only his finest for you here tonight.”
As The Reapers close in on a helpless Sigil, there’s a loud bang.
“Did you really just quote the blue oyster cult, you fuckin’ douchebag?”
“What a douchebag.”
Suddenly, from a walkway above, two ropes drop down into the middle of the lit circle that Sigil now stands alone.
But not for long.
IT’S JAY JECKEL AND MICHAELA LANE!
They join their friend in the middle of The Reapers, ready to fight!
[ Corvus ] “That’s cute; you brought back-up.”
[ Sigil ] “Did you really think I’d come alone? I never trusted you Corvus.”
[ Corvus ] “Wait, shouldn’t there be two more?”
The Collector laughs.
[ Sigil ] “Sanctus couldn’t make it – he was too busy, ya know, zealoting.”
Suddenly, headlights illuminate the darkness as the sound of an engine revving can be heard.
A truck then flies into frame, blasting through The Reapers – rolling right over, through and into as many as he can.
Corvus meanwhile barely dives out of the way.
Then the fight begins.
Tank backs up the truck, running over anything that rises from the impact.
Michaela, Sigil and Jay Jeckel go to work, delivering right and left hands to just about anything that moves.
With Reapers falling left and right thanks to Legacy’s help, Sigil notices that Corvus is running away towards the back door but is too busy battling the swarm of Reapers to try and stop him.
[ Michaela Lane ] “You have to let him go, boss. We can’t win this fight without you.”
Sigil looks towards the door as he exits, surely angered…
Corvus tried to play him here tonight. He colluded with Death to trap him in this warehouse and murder him; but Sigil saw it coming. The Collector brought back-up in legacy and as they fight through The Reapers sent by Death to take their souls, the real war is only just beginning.