“Have you read the Odyssey?”
“In the end, there is a massive feat, a labor, that is set out to crown the new king of Ithaca.”
“To become the leader of the land, one simply had to string Odysseus’ bow and fire an arrow through twelve axes heads.”
“Many men, would be suitors of the queen, tried their hand at this contest.”
“One by one they took the bow string and fought with all of their might to string it. Some used sheer strength, some tried to use their intellect in a futile attempt at success.”
“And, as quickly as they grabbed the bow did they fail.”
“Until one last man, one dressed in rags, walked up. He expertly strung the weapon and fired the arrow with unmatched precision through the axe heads.”
“As the suitors watched in awe, the man threw off his rags, revealing himself to be Odysseus himself.”
“The true king.”
“The only one worthy enough of claiming the queen and his throne.”
“Mount Olympus is a mythical labor set forth by Zeus himself to decide who shall be worthy enough to sit upon the throne as champion of his arena. The new king of Ithaca must lace up his boots and knock down eleven other men to gain his favor.”
“We’ll all line up one by one, using everything we can to impress the Baron and show him we deserve the belt at the top.”
“But only one of us can claim the prize.”
“While the likes of Stubbins Doom and Teddy O’Toole might try to use their minds to overcome the task, they’ll not be strong enough to string the bow.”
“And while Redgrave and Drewitt may be powerful, even they will find the task at hand seemingly impossible to achieve.”
“One by one they’ll climb, one by one they’ll fall.”
“It won’t be until I step up to the challenge that the winner will be declared. I’ll lace up my boots, I’ll knock eleven hostiles down in a row.”
“But unlike Odysseus, I am not clothed in rags.”
“Instead, I am wreathed in the regalia of Zeus himself.”
“You see, I left out the ending of this tale. After Odysseus proves himself to his wife, he had but one last task to preform.”
“He slaughtered the remaining suitors in a show of devotion to his crown and his throne using that very bow he strung.”
“And with Zeus watching over me I’ll prove to you that I am the true and rightful king of Ithaca, the rightful champion of Olympus.”
“Each and every one of you will go down just like Caesar XL, like the suitors. But instead of with a flurry of arrows it’ll be a flurry of blows that bruise your egos, batter your bodies.”
“When all is said and done I’ll be surrounded by unconscious bodies and failed suitors to the throne.”
“I’ll sit upon throne throne with the title around my waist and Zeus’ favor in my heart.”
“Eagles Soar.”