What’re you waiting for? If you haven’t applied to join OSW already, you should be on your way there. Failing that, be sure to follow us on Twitch at TheRAGEsmash and FastLanePlays!
Back to Top

News

News

Oh boy –

Oh boy, boy –

You know when you just wake up in the morning and you’re stretchin’ all of those muscles and just wondering what this day of sunshine and daisies is going to bring to us today – and it’s almost clockwork that you hear bad news?

Maybe it’s in the newspaper, maybe through the good old grapevine, but it’s just not what you want to deal with right now.

But whatever it is still compels you enough to want to know why – and what could have caused such an unexpected thing to come your way when your brain is just so goddamn full from everyone else getting the only fucking thing that I have in this mediocre, loveless world – dirty… disturbed.

So it’s like, you’ve got your glass of orange juice, your comfy fleece robe on, the morning cartoons are just a riot today, and then you look outside —

And there’s these parasites walking by you like all of a sudden they own the place.

That’s just terrible news if you ask me, because they didn’t even have the decency to say hello to a veteran resident of these parts. It’s valuable to demonstrate yourself as friendly as possible when entering areas that you haven’t been around a whole lot.

You see, things don’t change a whole lot. We have a solid routine and we keep things moving as productively as possible.

Business is business – and we all have crowds for times like those, of course – but when strangers decide to remain strangers, the door must open.

And unfortunately, I will have come to further understand that the two of you are Wiz… and Tag.

It appears that we have a little bit of a problem. You see, for starters, there are rules around here. I can imagine that you both have been stuck in a lawless bubble for a very long time, so it’s easy to stumble into places without at least minding your manners.

Unfortunately, you’ve caught me at a real bugger of a time. You see, I have guests.

A lot of guests. We are in that re-acquainting level right now, so I’m a little occupied.

You see, I wasn’t expecting them and I’ve been trying my hardest to take care of this bloo-ugly mess here that some lovely Australian left – but you always gotta take care of the bad news first, right?

Am I right?! 

I hope you find it just as hilarious as I do that I didn’t have more than a goddamn minute in between my stretch and the point that you two decided to come around here and assume that I needed anymore goddamn company.

Because I don’t – but kids like you don’t listen anymore.

You weren’t built right – and you’ll figure that out eventually.

Until then? I am going to ask all of my desirable company to remain patient, and then I’ll tend to you.

I trust you understand that I’m not a fan of breaking news, no sir I am – and you are not welcome here.

Do you understand me?

No?

Just wait.