Losing My Religion
There’s two types of worship in religion.
The first kind is true worship. This type hurts because it changes things not only for us but for those around us as well. It’s outcome is good for all parties: the hungry are fed, the naked are clothed, and the enslaved and oppressed are set free.
In contrast to that is false worship, which centers around us as individuals. It focuses on what the worshipped can do for us and the self-satisfaction related to its outcome.
The main difference between true and false worship though is how and to whom one’s sins are being paid in penance.
In true worship, you answer to Yahweh for your sins.
In false worship, you answer to anyone but Yahweh for your sins.
And as you very well know, father, false idol worship is a most egregious sin.
You’ve been worshipping a false idol since the day I stepped foot into the Slaughterhouse. And just like a false prophet, you’ve had me do his bidding.
I’ve acted as an ignorant zealot because you told me so.
I crucified an innocent child because you told me so.
And I hanged a man to die because you told me so.
You told me that all I needed to do was adopt religion and follow Yahweh’s orders in order to bring back mom.
Little did I know that those orders were not His.
Those orders were Death’s.
And the sins I’ve committed were for your satisfaction- for Death’s satisfaction.
We are both sinners, Solomon, but the difference between us is that while your actions have been selfish, mine have been selfless.
Everything I’ve done is for Yahweh, without question, because you’ve asked me of it, father, without anything other than the love for my mother filling my heart.
So I’m done putting my blind faith into worshipping you, father.
This will mark the last time I confess anything to you. And god do I have a lot of sins to confess to you face to face; man to man; father to son.
At Red Snow I’m losing my religion, and I will be a clean slate when the dust settles and the mess is cleared away from our holy war.
I will be free to choose my own actions.
I will be free to find my own faith.
And I will be free to worship Yahweh the way I was always intended to:
Free of you.
I’m losing you, father.
I will take responsibility for every action I take moving forward, and it starts with the actions I choose to take against you.
Please forgive me when I wage war on you and Sanctus.
Please forgive me when Lux and I crucify you for your sins.
And please forgive me for subjecting unto you everything of which you have subjected upon me sevenfold.
Your sacrifice to Yahweh will hurt, but I know in my heart that it will change things for the better, for us, and for those around us.
Forgive me father, for I have sinned.
And my penance shall be paid in your blood.