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Just Like Me

Just Like Me

Everybody wants to be just like me.”

“In the playground, I was the best fuckin’ tag player you done ever did see. I reckon tales of my exploits were shared far and wide.”

“They heard about me in high school, I mean.”

“So, naturally, every mother fucker with a pulse and two hands wanted to play tag with Zero.”

“This one smarmy lookin’ ugly cunt came to my School thinkin’ he was the shit. He was all about that skippin’ school, rebel without a fuckin’ clue bullshit. Mother fucker was dirt poor – like so poor, people would break into his house and leave him shit, just so he had somethin’.”

“He wanted to be me sooooooooo bad.”

“He walked like me, talked like me and acted like me. He had no daddy. He was a food stamp away from comin’ to School in blackface.”

“Of course, he wanted to challenge the Champ.”

“If tryin’ to be me wasn’t enough, he needed a piece.”

“This prick chased me around the fuckin’ playground, tryin’ to emulate my every move; tryin’ to mimic things he’s seen me do. He wanted so badly to be like Zero, but when push come to shove, that mother fucker couldn’t tag me.”

“He couldn’t get close.”

“So, he wanted me to chase him. He wanted me to do the taggin’. He thought if I couldn’t be caught, maybe he couldn’t be either.”

“Hey Tag, I see you, homie.”

“How many weeks are you away from comin’ to Fuck the World in blackface, dude? You want a hook up with some badass cybernetics, too? I mean, I’ve got a condom around here with some jizz-juice in it, if you wanna try and replicate my ass. Maybe you can shove that shit in Ether and have yourself a little black Zero baby.”

You want my girl?

“You wanna talk like me, walk like me, act like me, mother fucker?”

“You even got a pretty little stable just like me.”

“Now you wanna step into the ring for a good old-fashioned fight and just like the playground, you wanna see who the real big swingin’ dick around here is, right?”

You wanna fuck around and find out?

“Cause believe me, bitch, that mother fucker couldn’t tag me either and at Revolt, you’re gonna fuck around and find out that there’s only one Zero. You can’t be me no matter how hard you try, cracka. You can chase me around Old School Wrestling like a bitch in heat or a dog lookin’ for a bone and it ain’t gonna matter shit – cause there’s only one bad mother fucker around here.”

“Come at me, dawg.”

“Take your shot at the fuckin’ King.”

Often imitated, never replicated, bitch.

“Tag…”

You’re it, mother fucker.”