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Interview With A Vampire

[The People’s Voice has been cleared out for a very special interview. For the first time ever, Doom graces them with his presence. He sits comfortably in a chair across from a young male interviewer.]

[Daniel Malloy] We were really surprised to get your call, Mr. Doom.

[Doom] [Ahem] Doctor. [Ahem]

[Daniel Malloy] My apologies, Doctor. I’m of the understanding that you have something big you wish to discuss. An announcement, is it?

[Doom leans in.]

[Doom] [Whispering]I’m a Vampire.”

[Malloy smiles. That smile is quickly wiped off his face by the piercing eyes of Doom.]

[Daniel Malloy] “Uhm…”

[Doom] “It all began when I stumbled upon what I believed to be the story of a lifetime. Get your notebook out, boy… you’re going to need it.”

[Daniel does as he’s instructed.]

[Doom] “I stumbled upon an undeniable truth; I learned that Narcissa Balenciaga was the leader of the Uprising. I came to Zeus and told him everything. I gave him what I believed was sage wisdom, but I didn’t factor in alternative circumstances. I was foolish.”

[The interviewer is surprised.]

[Daniel Malloy] “You knew it was Narcissa?”

[Doom nods.]

[Doom] “I kept it to myself. I leaned into passivity. I chose to remain docile and impotent, even when the world around me began to quite literally crumble. I had my mind altered and for some time, that gave me an excuse. I could act within reasonable deniability. I knew nothing.”

[Daniel Malloy] “I don’t understand?”

[Doom] “It didn’t last, Daniel. My memories came flooding back and when they did, the truth looked me in the eye and I, I’m ashamed to say, looked the other way. I was terrified of the consequences. I was afraid of what might happen if I looked back.”

[Daniel Malloy] “This is why you kept it to yourself?”

[Doom shakes his head.]

[Doom] “No. I kept it to myself because I’m a coward, Daniel. I did not do the right thing.”

[Daniel Malloy] “Do you blame yourself for the loss of life in The Red Light District? So many innocent people died.”

[Doom sighs and takes a beat.]

[Doom] “I killed them. My inability to act, killed them. I was insufficient at a time when I was needed to be more than the sum of my parts. I failed spectacularly, Daniel.”

[That shocks the reporter.]

[Daniel Malloy] “That’s quite a statement, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t ask… what does any of this have to do with your claim of being a Vampire?

[The Doctor hums faintly.]

[Doom] “Because Daniel, I think what I’m about to say is rather undeniable…”

[Malloy leans in.]

[Doom joins him.]

[Doom] “It’s because, and please excuse my lack of eloquence here….”

[He whispers.]

[Doom]I… suck.

[Like a deflated balloon, the air is suddenly released from the room. Malloy looks both surprised, perturbed, and disappointed at the same time. Somehow, he still has a scoop.]

[Daniel Malloy] “Okay….. If I were to print your admissions here today, Doctor Doom, I’d like to give you your given birthname. Could you please confirm it for me?”

[The Scientist stands up.]

[Doom] “Yes. Colt Ramsey.”

[Daniel Malloy] “Hang on… that’s… what… wait…”

[Doom begins walking away.]

[Doom] “That was his story, Malloy. That was his story.”

DOOM