“Let’s say your sink has run a leak.”
“There’s water pouring everywhere, your towels are drenched, and you’ve all but run out of buckets to fill. You need help, you need someone to fix this problem.”
“So who do you go to for help?”
“The sensible solution is to find a plumber, a trained professional to fix it.”
“But others? They find the local handyman.”
“A man with a box of tools and optimism in his heart. He may not be trained, may not have all the knowhow, but he wants nothing more than to help you.”
“But the thing about someone like him is he’s an amateur. In trying to fix it, he could very well make the problem worse.”
“Twist the pipe out of place, overtighten the screws. By the time he’s done under your sink the pipes have burst and the damage is irreparable.”
“You can have all the best intentions in Arcadia, but even the kindest man must learn when to step back and let the plumber do the job he’s been paid to do.”
“Arcadia is full of handymen, Kaiju. They’re normal people with all the tools that could be used to help the people they call neighbor but none of the knowledge and understanding to make it work. You’re so kind, you mean so well, but you just don’t get what you’re doing, do you?”
“Let’s look at Arcadia as the sink, the broken pipes flow forth not with water, but with crime.”
“You want to help. You patrol the levels ready to twist those bolts and straighten the metal. But with every criminal you put down another two pop up. Sure, you can sit under the sink all day trying to force wave after wave of scum back in the pipe, but the truth of the matter is while you might delay the problem?”
“You just can’t seem to fix it.”
“Despite your size, your optimism, everything you do is just making it worse. The more you meddle with the pipes the bigger the mess gets. You can crack skulls and break bones, but that won’t stop the criminals you confront. They’ll still be on the streets, sloshing across Arcadia’s floor.”
“But there’s an answer to this problem, Chiba. Something that could have been done from the start to prevent every bit of the mess you helped make.”
“The owners could have found a real plumber, a man with the right tools, the right knowledge.”
“The right identification.”
“They could have found me.”
“Like the rest of APD’s finest I’ve spent years learning how to deal with the leaks that plague Arcadia. I can fix the pipes, Kaiju. I can force the criminals into a cell and keep the streets clean. You’re a handyman, but I’m a professional.”
“Now I’m going to need you to stand back, because when we step in that ring I’m going to show you exactly how it’s done.”
“And I’m going to do it by the book.”