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Welcome to the wild west.

“Four men step into a dust covered landscape; their weapons drawn. Only one can leave this place with the coveted gold nugget. He who survives the battle will take the prize, but all four cowboys come touting different weapons.”

The first cowboy comes holding a candy bar.

“He considers himself an intelligent and clever individual, and thinks that by wielding this delicious treat, he may be able to distract the other three cowboys from using their weapons.”

“Perhaps he might hand the treat over, or if desperate, toss it in their general direction.”

“Maybe, just maybe, a melee will happen for the candy bar and he’ll be able to walk away with the golden nugget?”

“What’s more likely is that those who came to fight for the prize, would have paid no mind to a lacklustre one in the palm of his hand.”

“The second cowboy forgot to bring a weapon.”

“You see, he forgot who he was or what weapon would suit him best. He’d already lost a shootout and wasn’t sure exactly what had befallen him.”

“He came wielding his fists and stood there with them raised, hoping that they’d be enough to see him through.”

“After all, if he couldn’t remember who he was, then what use would be a weapon that he’d have no idea how to wield?”

“The third cowboy brought a different language.”

“I suppose he thought he could confuse matters by speaking in odd sentences and using random misplaced words? Whilst everyone else held a weapon of choice, he held nothing but his bronze tongue.”

“And bronze is putting it somewhat complimentary.”

“Because in actuality, his poor grasp of language only succeeded in making him look like an unintelligent buffoon. He may have been able to speak in a unique manner, but if no-one could understand him, what use were the words he’d speak?”

“The cowboy might as well have been mute.”

Then there was the fourth cowboy – who brought a gun to a gunfight.

“This cowboy already owned the golden nugget and the three imbeciles who came for it had no idea the lengths he’d go to keep it. You see, this is the wild west and the weapon of choice is a gun.”

“Not candy.”

“Not your fists.”

“And not the spoken word.”

“Teddy, Drewitt and Drexl have come to the wild west and stand in my dusty landscape, looking for the golden nugget. They each brought what they consider their current strength in hopes of taking it.”

“But we all know that you can’t bring candy, your fists or the spoken word to a gunfight.”

“And that’s what this is, gentlemen.”

A gunfight.”

“By the end of the night, you’ll either be Dead or Alive and I’m the only one with a gun.”

Bang! Bang!

You’re dead.