Oi! I’m Chip Montana, and I’m grabbin’ nature…
…
BY THE BALLS!!!
Unfortunately mates, I’ve learned there’s another animal expert in OSW, which I believe is gimmick infringement, but hey, these things happen in business.
From what I’ve gathered, there’s a dog training sorceror in the ranks here, capable of turning men into dogs! That’s right! His name is Simon, and if you’re a good man, look out, because he’ll turn you into a good boy, and Amber Heard will take a dump in the bed and blame it on you!
I mean, you don’t even necessarily have to be a good man for him to do it to you. Just look at what he’s done to these two muts!
Awwwwwwww, just look at them, wagging their tails and licking each others balls. That big, black one there, he’s obsessing with that damn snake in the grass, trying to play with it, and crying LIKE A BITCH when he gets bit!
Hey Blacky, ya big bitch, you’re supposed to be a boy dog!
And then there’s the other one. He looks all sorts of fucked up. Half-chihuahua, Half-Wienerdog, and his fur is died like a fucking pride month flag!
Poor little bugger. I’d say that’s animal abuse, but the little dicked bastard loves it.
Now, Simon, to his credit, has his dogs well-trained. At his command, they’ll do whatever he tells him to do, even if they think they know better!
Now that’s a couple of REAL GOOD BOYS right there!
And they’ve got the cutest good boy names! Tag and Wiz!
Hahaha. Wiz. You get it right? Like, “I gotta take a wiz?” Like piss?
Well, Tag and Piss are a couple of well-trained pups and, credit to Simon, its all thanks to him that these former degenerates now just run around chasing tennis balls and sniffing other dogs assholes.
But I want to play with these good boys meself! But I’m not a dog trainer, so I have to find some other ways to get them to interact me.
So, I went to the pet store and picked me up some puppy supplies!
I got me kibbles and bits.
I got me chew toys.
And last but not least, I got me dog whistle!
And when I blow on this dog whistle, it gets every dogs attention.
Then, guess what? Chip Montana gets to rassle around with a couple of Simon’s dogs!
Rassling around with dogs is the funnest thing you can do. They love getting picked up and tossed! They love when you get on all fours and tackle them! They love getting slammed around! Hell, sometimes they even get aroused by it. And a little fucking rocket pops right out of their wieners, which is one of the most disgusting things in all of nature!
And I’ve heard these muts are a couple of cummers. They won’t cum on Chip Montana, because dogs are part of nature, which means I’ve got them by the balls.
And I’ll fucking rip them off, mate.