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Games

He’s back, he’s back, oh how exciting.

I finally have a friend to play with.

And my best friend, he’s not quite as quirky as he used to be. See, my best friend is a Doctor. He’s a big bad Doctor of science and that means he has all the answers.

I can’t wait to play a game with him. I think I’m going to start with operation.

You know the game of operation, don’t you Blacktooth? It’s a game in which a surgeon carefully and delicately chooses parts of the body to remove.

A surgeon could choose to remove the brain for example. But let’s be honest, in your case, there’s unlikely to be anything there. You’re not quite known for your intelligence, are you?

In fact, one would say that any human being who chooses to eat human flesh might be a little on the stupid side but who am I to judge? Whilst the act itself does indicate a lacking comprehension of how things actually work. Have you never heard of food, little buddy? It’s this yummy substance you put in your mouth. It often lacks blood, guts and goo, but there’s flavor.

If the brain was off limits due to a lack of existence, we couldn’t take that. A surgeon could become somewhat of a dentist and perhaps go for that black tooth of yours, but I don’t see that as a fruitful endeavour.

After all, this is a game of operation, not dentistry.

But then again, my best friend the doctor, isn’t really a medical doctor. His speciality is more in the sciences but I’m sure he’d love to play this game with me.

Perhaps we could remove your stomach. Who knows what wonderful treats we’d find in there. I bet if your stomach could talk, it would echo the screams of your victims; ahhh stop eating me.

We could take out your digestive system. But I think if we did that, we’d just find that you’re well and truly full of shit.

Hmm, so what do we do?

At a certain point, the body on the table just isn’t worth saving. If there’s not a single part you can salvage, then why bother? You’re a beaten down and broken up piece of junk, Blacktooth. There’s not one part of you worth operating on. You feast on the flesh of human beings, which means your organs are serviced by poison.

My good friend the Doctor won’t be pleased to see that.

And neither am I, good buddy. Neither am I.

Thinking about it, I can’t ask my good friend to play a game of operation with you. I’d look foolish. All you’re good for is a body bag.

I can make that happen.

Let’s play a game by ourselves then, Blacktooth.

How about Clue?

I’ll be Miss Scarlett, you’ll be Chef White and I think I’ll murder you in the ring at Thunder, with a pair of scissors.

Oh what fun we’ll have.

Do you wanna play a game? Do ya?

Snip Snip.

Scissors