Recorded Earlier
Andy’s Emporium.
One week after they teamed together in a match, Bill Kirby stops by Mister Andy’s shop for another visit. He walks through the door and the bell sounds, alerting the Shopkeeper to his presence.
Bill takes off his gloves and walks spritely over to the counter where Andy is waiting.
“Do you remember me?” Kirby asks with a wanting expression.
Andy nods, his smile gleeful.
“Of course I do,” he says to Bill’s surprise. “I gave you a toy just a few weeks back for that sad little girl. Did she like it?”
Kirby frowns.
“I didn’t get a chance to give it to her. Her father thought it best she stays with relatives, but I’ve held onto it,” he says taken aback by Andy’s lack of recognition. “You don’t recognize me from anywhere else?”
Andy takes a step back and rubs his chin. He’s trying to place him but failing miserably. He finally sighs, placing his hands down on the counter in frustration.
“I’m terribly sorry, but business has been rather good – I haven’t been great at keeping track of all my new customers, but I’m sure I’ll get there.”
Bill leans in.
“Business can be like a SeeSaw, can’t it?” He remarks.
Mister Andy immediately recoils. It triggers something within him. He stutters and stammers, his face pale.
“I… I must be going,” he grumbles, moving away as fast as he can. “Will you please close the door behind you? I’m feeling rather unwell.”
And with that, Mister Andy rushes into his back room, slamming the door. Kirby thinks about it for a minute and steps backwards, likewise making his exit.
As he steps back outside into the cold and puts his gloves back on, he thinks about what’s next.
Cut.
The Taskmaster has proved to be an intriguing enigma since his debut a few weeks ago but can he live up to his name tonight or will he be another victim of the mastermind Collector?
The bell sounds as both men circle the ring, looking for the perfect opening before Simon rushes forward, trying for a clothesline that Sigil ducks under, delivering a lightning fast MERCIFUL that drops Simon down to one knee. The Taskmaster barely gets the chance to register the blow before he’s bent over Sigil’s knee and shown THE LONG ROAD AHEAD! Sigil leaps up, drilling a grounded Simon with a hard knee to the face before quickly covering, ONE..TWO..Simon gets the shoulder up
Sigil tries to pull Simon to his feet but gets an surprising uppercut that stuns the Collector before a lightning fast SIMONPLEX slams Sigil into the mat as Simon bridges back for the pinfall, ONE…TWO…Sigil kicks out. Simon picks up Sigil, trying for a second Simonplex, COSMIC LEAP!
FINITE! The Roundhouse kick knocks Simon loopy as Sigil backs up, looking for the end, PLANES….GAMBIT! Sigil runs right into that huge backfist as Simon smacks the Collector to the canvas mid-run
Sigil is dazed on the mat, Simon wasting no time as he grabs the Collector’s leg, locking in CHECKMATE! Sigil tries to fight out of it but Simon has the Figure Four locked in tight as the Collector is forced to tap out
Simon picks up a massive victory here in his first OSW singles match, defeating a former world champion as he looks like a huge contender for the future
A compound, off the grid or on it, depending on Simon’s desires.
But tonight, Death Note could care less about what Simon wants.
He expertly picks not just one, or two, but a series of locks that mark the door, both mechanical and electronic.
Nothing stops Death Note.
He slowly steps through the door.
The lights are out.
Closes it silently behind him.
And yet, as soon as the door closes…
“Simon says ‘freeze.’”
The lights BANG ON.
And Death Note finds that he himself is taken by some kind of high-tech force field.
Indeed, he has frozen.
And at that moment, Simon steps directly in front of him.
“You fool,” Simon says, chuckling to himself. “If there’s one thing I could count on, it’s a rat like you taking the bait and falling into my trap.”
Death Note would probably have something to say — but frozen in place, all he can do is listen.
He is rendered completely helpless, and entirely at Simon’s mercy.
“If you truly believed I was lying, if you truly believed I didn’t have an eraser for that silly little book of yours, then you wouldn’t have risked coming here.”
You can practically here Simon’s sneer spread across his face.
“But the truth always sits somewhere in between with us, doesn’t it? I mean, this game of cat and mouse we’ve played for so long has required half-truths for decades.”
Simon steps closer to Death Note.
“But now it is time to reveal the whole truth, is it not? And the whole truth is this, old foe. I do not have an eraser.”
“I am the eraser.”
Simon gets right up to Death Note’s face. The frozen Death Note could practically feel his breath.
“And now? Now, old foe, I am going to erase you.”
Cut.
Two of the meanest SOBs in OSW go toe to toe here. The Head Snake, Viper Roberts, has impressed immensely since his Wrestle Heroes debut, where he bagged the Double Features Championship. Reaper is one of the toughest cats around. Can The Harvester pick up a big scalp tonight in this non-title bout, or will The Viper land his bite yet again?
Reaper is out of the traps quickly, tackling The Viper into a turnbuckle The Harvester unloads lefts and rights. Roberts counters with a knee to the midsection and the wrestlers change position…BIG BOOT!!! The Head Snake drops The Harvester. Slowly Viper unties his snake skin belt…TANNIN’ THE HIDE!!! NO!!! Reaper grabs The Viper’s arms, uppercut to the gut….SWIFT REVENGE!! Single Arm DDT and Reaper has a cover…ONE…TWO…KICKOUT!!!
Reaper now grabs Viper’s belt, he gives a quick snap for effect, before stalking Roberts with it. Reaper raises his arm and is about to bring it down on The Viper but the latter drags the ref in front of him and Reaper pulls out of the attack. Viper pushes the official into The Harvester, uses the distraction to gain the advantage…ODE TO THE SNAKE!!! Viper pulls out his own DDT…ONE…TWO…SHOULDER UP!!!
Viper continues his attack with stomps to Reaper but The Harvester pushes himself up. Big, stiff elbow to the back of Reaper’s head…NO!!! COUNTER!!! JUSTICE BROUGHT!!! The Samoan Drop has Reaper lining up…THE SHOTGUN BLAST!!! But Roberts counters with a back elbow.
Viper looks to Irish whip Reaper but The Harvester counters and sends The Head Snake over the top rope. Viper lands on the apron though. Reaper charges…SNAKE OIL!!! REAPER IS BLINDED!!!! The Head Snake back into the ring….SNAKE BITE!!!! COVER FOR….ONE….TWO……THREE!!!!
With his match ended, Reaper heads to the doors at the top of the ramp. However, as soon as he passes through them and disappears, we hear the slamming of a door.
Followed by the opening tune of “The Show That Never Ends”!
Reaper finds himself on set to the sounds of applause! Standing on the stage before him is nonother than Monty Straight with The Judge accompanying him. Judge stands with his arms crossed, Reaper joining him on stage, a clear air of disdain about him.
“Why are you just standing there? Get him!”
He points to Monty, poised to pounce when Judge puts an arm in front of him, stopping Reaper in his tracks and drawing the other man’s ire.
“Not yet.”
“And why not?”
“Well, gentlemen.” Monty Straight’s confident voice speaks over the others, his smile glinting in the light. “It’s because on this show, I’ve decided to let our dear friend The Judge be a contestant! But don’t worry, this doesn’t disqualify you from being a contestant again down the line.”
A cocky wink to the missing crowd is all it takes for Judge to stomp his foot, getting Monty’s attention.
“You pulled us here, and you told me I would be a contestant. Give me my choices.”
Monty takes a moment, looking at where Judge stomped.
“Oh dear, we got a Judge but it seems we need a janitor for those smudges! Oh well, we’ll get to that later. But Judge, you must know that when I let someone on my show they must make a choice before they can leave. And here’s what I’m giving you!”
He waves his hand to one door, drawing their attention.
“The first door will allow you and Reaper to exit the stage unharmed! Rather mundane, but it sets you free to continue your work as a… team?”
He then points to the next door.
“But the second door will give you the chance to let out your anger. Clear your head. How do you clear it? Through attacking the person you believe is the biggest thorn in your side!”
Reaper nudges Judge, pointing to the second door.
“Do it. Kick his ass!”
Judge nods, walking to the door, opening it with confidence!
And revealing Reaper?
Reaper looks down in shock, unsure how he got there! He shoves Judge back in disgust.
“I’m the biggest thorn? Not Monty?”
“You’re irrational and your calls to violence are getting in the way!”
Reaper goes for a punch- NO! RESTORATION! JUDGE POWERBOMBS REAPER!
The powerbomb cracks… onto the concrete of the backstage?
Judge looks around bewildered for a moment. Monty is gone, and all he has to show for his time on the show is Reaper unconscious at his feet.
It is amateur wrestling expertise meeting the Shinigami tonight. Which being will make a name for themselves tonight and put the roster on notice?
Carfano looks to size his opponent up, moving to the center of the ring for a collar and elbow tie, but the Shinigami has not interest in following etiquette tonight. In a flash, he darts behind Carfano, rebounding off the ropes and clubbing him to the back of the head. Carfano staggers forward… BULLDOG TAKES HIM DOWN!
The tough as nails Old Hand doesn’t stay down for long though, pulling himself to his feet as fast as his old knees will take him. DEATHNOTE WITH A RUNNING KNEE STRIKE… NO! CARFANO REVERSES IT INTO A NICE HIPTOSS TAKE DOWN! Down on the mat is Carfano’s territory, and Deathnote is trespassing!
Carfano weakens Deathnote’s arm with an ARMBAR that he locks in with youthful grace. Clearly, he’s looking to soften up Deathnote for his Snapper. Deathnote frees himself of the hold, only for Carfano to grab him around the waist. GERMAN SUPLEX! NO! DEATHNOTE KICKS BACKWARDS AND CATCHES HIM IN THE GUTS!
Deathnote spins around with surprising speed and clocks Carfano right in the face with a right hook that staggers him into the turnbuckle. He picks him up, using the turnbuckle to elevate Carfano onto his shoulders… GTS! GATHER THY SOUL! CARFANO IS DOWN! BUT DEATHNOTE IS NOT DONE YET! KISS OF DEATH FROM THE TOP ROPE SEALS THE DEAL AND DEATHNOTE COVERS FOR THE PIN! ONE! TWO! THREE!
Deathnote has one this one, standing tall over the experience and wrestling skill of Victor Carfano tonight!
Earlier Today
The dark underbelly of Hell’s Kitchen, the kind of streets that people don’t visit without a purpose. Here, we find Voynich and Darby Sorrow. The pair look suspiciously about them before disappearing around the corner. Though, contrary to their search, they are not alone.
CXDY steps out of the shadows, a device in his hands, a screen like a radar system blipping silently at him, slowly moving further and further away from the center of the screen. He moves towards the corner where Voynich and Sorrow had disappeared and peers slowly around. Looking at the screen, he notices the blip has disappeared… And so too has Voynich and Sorrow.
Instantly, he pulls out his phone and presses a few buttons. His phone blares into life as BEG’s voice bursts out of the speaker.
“You have something to report, I presume?”
“Yeah.” He greets the voice on the other end. “They’ve vanished again. One moment, the trace was here, the next…” His voice trails off as he looks at something that has caught his eye.
“Hang on a sec…” CXDY walks forward, into the center of the alleyway. “Surely not.”
A manhole cover, leading to the sewer system lies before him. CXDY looks about him, knowing that there is nowhere else he could have gone.
“I know where Colin is hiding. At least, we’re getting closer.”
BEG chirps in again.
“Don’t go getting hasty on me now. Things must be done the right way. You don’t go following them into some place on a whim.”
CXDY draws a deep breath, exhaling in frustration.
“I know, I know.”
BEG continues.
“Where are they hiding out, anyway?”
CXDY smirks.
“Let me put it this way. Zero… Can you get your hands on a schematic of New York’s sewer system?”
BEG waits for a moment.
“Did you say…”
CXDY cuts him off.
“Yeah. Cowabunga dude. I just need to know where.”
Zero’s voice chimes in.
“Based on what I’m seeing in the schematics here. There are only three possible directions they could have gone from your particular location. I’ll try triangulating that with the partial trace we had on the Butcher’s phone last week and see if we can narrow down our quadrant at all.”
CXDY smiles, nodding.
“So what do you need from me then?”
Zero’s voice comes through again.
“There’s one last piece of the puzzle. I just need you to get close enough to Voynich for a couple of minutes.”
BEG’s voice sounds again, a little worried and a bit frustrated.
“Hang on. We expose ourselves when the time is right, with the most leverage to gain and not a moment sooner.”
Zero, in contrast sounds cool, calm and collected.
“I’m not asking him to date the guy, just to be in the same room as him for a couple of minutes. I’ll take care of the rest.”
CXDY nods.
“Consider it done.”
With that, he shuts down the call and ends the conversation.
Cut.
Darklord might be one of the if not the most intimidating warrior to step foot in OSW but is even he immune to the order of the universe and it’s judgement?
The bell sounds as The Judge rushes forward before Darklord can even blink, THE VERDICT! The Spartan Kick hits solid but the boot basically bounces off the Carthian, who simply sneers before retaliating with KNEEL! The Spartan Kick from Darklord sends The Judge flying into the corner with such force it nearly snaps the buckles. The Judge barely pulls himself up before he’s nearly decapitated with a lethal clothesline, staggering out as he’s lifted high up into the air
BLACK HOLE! The Judge is nearly sent through the mat with that spinning powerbomb as he sits down for the cover, ONE…TWO….The Judge barely gets the shoulder up. Darklord peels him up off the mat but The Judge slips out of his hold, biting down hard on Darklord’s forehead. The Carthian’s skin is too tough for the Judge’s bite to penetrate but it does stun the monster as The Judge goes for a Cutter, YOUR PAST MAY….DARKLORD REFUSES TO CRASH TO THE MAT!
The Judge tries to pull him down but Darklord just spins the Judge around, gripping him by the throat for a magnitude 6 WARLORD’S HAND! The Chokeslam may have done it but Darklord isn’t finished, almost effortlessly picking up the near 400 pound Judge onto his shoulders in a backbreaker before spinning him down into the EVENT HORIZON! The Judge looks done as Darklord places one hand upon his chest while the referee counts the ONE…TWO…THREE!!!
The God King picks up his first victory in OSW, looking like an absolute world destroyer with his dominance over the Judge here tonight
After that match with The Judge, Darklord gets back to his feet and dusts himself off.
That’s when police officers suddenly start pouring out from the entrance tunnel and storming towards the ring.
Darklord doesn’t understand what’s going on as these cops enter the squared circle, surrounding him.
That’s when Viper Roberts appears atop the entrance ramp.
“The human condition is a complex one,” he begins with his microphone, pacing back and forth. “No mortal is mere.”
The God Kid tilts his head.
“Barbarism is but one facet of our offense. You see, to be more than mere but mighty, one must employ greater tactical advancements. You’ve clearly yet to understand humanity, Darklord.”
He leans in, almost hissing.
“But tonight, I’ll teach you a lesson. Slither to me, young Lord. Slither.”
Instead of storming this absolute behemoth of a man, the officers pull Tasers and begin firing.
Multiple beads slam into the skin of the Carthian.
He immediately seizes up, jolting with every bolt of electricity that hits him.
As the surges of electricity begin to wane, Darklord does the unthinkable, pulling as many of the prongs out as he can.
The officers panic.
They rush at him, being swatted away with relative ease.
Darklord turns around…
SNAKE OIL!
THERE’S VIPER ROBERTS, SPEWING SNAKE OIL INTO THE EYES OF THE CARTHIAN!
Roberts grabs him as quickly as he can…
ODE TO THE SNAKE!
DDT!
The Head Snake drops him!
Officers quickly rush over, grabbing handcuffs and placing them together to make a link and then putting them on Darklord.
Viper stands aside with a grin, watching as the officers try to manoeuvre Darklord out of the ring.
Cut.
Can Forever Friends dethrone strange bedfellows!?
Ultimo America offers his hand to Redwing, who shakes it. They tie-up, and The Watchful Protector schools the rookie hero with several takedowns. America’s Son shows true grit, however, as he keeps getting up. Redwing busts out the strikes, then hoists him up into the RED JUSTICE brainbuster to the knee! He tags in Monty Straight.
The Deal Maker gets his licks in, showboating in-between. His preoccupation with the Slaughterhouse attendees almost lets Ultimo escape, but Monty snatches the patriot up into THE COMMERCIAL BREAK emerald flowsion! ONE—“Chuuuuuunk!”—TWO… Chunky Moses just breaks it up with a running—okay, lightly-jogging—sit-down splash! The referee ushers him onto the apron…
DOUBLE TAG! Redwing hops the ropes and takes it to Chunky – but the arcade-gamer blocks every shot with his twitch-shooter reflexes! A stunned Redwing kicks him in the gut and hooks the arms—RETURN TO ARKHAM! MOSES BLOCKS THE UNDERHOOK DDT! The Eminent Arcadian shoves him into the corner… HAHAHADOKEN – THE SPEAR! ONE… TWO… MONTY SAVES IT!
Chunky slowly ascends the ropes for the bonzai drop – THE EASTER EGG! REDWING EVADES IT – MOSES LANDS ON HIS TAILBONE! REDWING TAGS STRAIGHT! Monty tries STRAIGHT SHOOTING – but Chunky’s legs are too, well, CHUNKY! HE KICKS THE EMCEE OFF AND TAGS ULTIMO! Straight sweeps America’s legs and twists him over – STRAIGHT SHOOTING! The gutsy underdog refuses to submit to the sharpshooter… He blacks out!
The gameshow host and the vigilante retain tag-team gold!
Backstage, Sweet Alice is walking to find Banzan.
She’s frantically trying to find him before her match.
“Where is he? Pyre is one of my opponents tonight and I can’t break in front of her. My mind is going to go straight to water the moment we collide.”
She makes her way to an area she has seen him meditate before. He is not there. A note has replaced the mountain.
“I will not be in the Slaughterhouse before the main event tonight. I am saddled with my own test week and therefore I must focus on my own.”
She nods.
“He says he has his own test but this must be part of mine. Of course, a stone doesn’t frantically flow from area to area trying to get to where it needs to be. That’s the mentality of water and that’s how I will get fractured. I must harden up and be like a stone. I’m no mountain but I can be a pebble tonight.”
Elsewhere, Banzan is tied up in a chair with Bishop and Pyre simply watching over him just chatting away to each other. Banzan while confused still calmly speaks.
“Why are you doing this? When I woke up in this room and saw you two I expected to be beat up or worse. I expected some sort of torture knowing you two.”
“I could burn those ropes if you want.”
“That won’t be necessary, Pyre. You see, Banzan, we didn’t trap you here to torture you, we trapped you to torture Alice. We know you’re training her but training can’t possibly be close to done yet and without being able to draw from the wellspring, she must be freaking out. Fragile doesn’t even come close to describing how she feels so how fractured do you think she is right now?”
Banzan’s eyes open wide but he looks at the floor disappointed. Pyre speaks up.
“Oh, don’t look like that, we’ll let you free soon, just after I’m done taking care of the pieces still left of our friend. You can’t be like this for long. You have to face the Sandman tonight. If he encounters this version of you, he will easily conquer the mountain and your night could be worse than Alice’s… if that’s possible.”
Banzan just nods sadly.
“Don’t be that worried for her. She won’t lose her head”
“… yet.”
Pyre leaves the room completely confident about her upcoming match. She has no idea Alice is feeling the same way.
Cut.
It’s a crossroads of rivalries as Voynich, Corvus and Sweet Alice take on Two-Face, BEG, and Pyre!
Voynich and Pyre start things off, with the Fire Witch immediately heating things up as she lays in a flurry of offense on the Best Kept Secret…until Voynich gets the upper hand with a dropkick that sends Pyre into the opposite corner, quickly making a tag over to Sweet Alice!
Alice charges at Pyre, but BEG makes a blind tag to insert himself into the situation. Alice unleashes some quick offense on Greene and goes for a crossbody off the top rope…but BEG catches her in midair, turning her around into a sleeper hold! BILLION DOLLAR DREAM, CINCHED IN TIGHT!
Alice is fading fast, about to drop to the canvas before Corvus runs in to make the save…but he’s stopped by Two-Face, who makes a beeline for the Shadow Walker! The two trade blows before falling to the outside, and Two-Face isn’t letting up as Alice finally manages to escape!
Alice is back on the offense, driving BEG into the corner before using his own momentum against him! DOWN THE RABBIT H–SPINEBUSTER BY BEG! He flips Alice over! FINANCIAL CRISIS! Voynich looks to make the save but is cut off by Pyre, leaving Alice no choice but to tap out!
This match ends in a nightmare as BEG, Pyre, and Two-Face pick up the win!
This six person tag is over!
He’s tried all match, and now Two-Face has his eyes set entirely on Corvus and there is no OSW official to enforce the rules. For his part, Corvus merely regards the crazed former politician as they circle one another.
“You’ve been looking for me?” Corvus asks.
“How’d you guess?” Two-Face responds, his voice a growl.
The hooded man raises an eyebrow.
“The river of blood I waded through backstage was enough to give me the idea.” He responds after a moment. “But I’m not hard to find. Not if you know where to look.”
Two-Face draws out his coin.
“We’re of two minds of what to do with you. Heads says we rip your throat out right here. Tails says we take our time, and let you know what it feels like to be us.”
Corvus keeps his eyes on the coin rolling between Two-Face’s scarred hand.
“That’s it, then? A simple flip of the coin decides a man’s fate? I expected better of you, Whitlock.”
At the sound of his given name, Two-Face rushes in with reckless abandon, his hands aimed for Corvus’s throat.
But the hooded man slips away. As Two-Face turns, Corvus holds up the coin.
He swiped it!?
“Two minds on every subject, but you still know less than you think.” Corvus taunts.
He flips the coin up in the air, distracting the enraged Two-Face, who grabs it out of the air with a grunt.
Corvus is gone.
Cut.
THE HACKER PUSHES THE LADDER OVER! Bishop lands throat-first across the ropes. Zero resets the ladder and scales it. THE GOLD IS INCHES AWAY – but the 6’10” Gunslinger is hot on his heels! Bishop races to the top, opposite Zero… SUNSET FLIP! Zero lands on his feet and spins round. He climbs underneath Bishop—ELECTRIC CHAIR DROP OFF THE LADDER!
Both men writhe. Zero recovers first, and he stalks Bishop. He recovers, and Zero charges. Bishop, however, scoops him up into the LAST RITES TOMBSTONE – BUT ZERO DROPS DOWN INTO A BIONIC HANDSTAND! HEADSCISSOR TAKEDOWN, FACE-FIRST INTO THE LADDER! Zero fetches a second, taller ladder. Before he can set it up, however, Bishop hits the DEADEYE SPEAR! The monster-slayer prepares the ladder, then ascends it…
HIS FINGERS BRUSH THE BELT! Wait – here comes Zero! Both men slug it out atop the ladder. Bishop, the Marine boxing champion, gains the upper hand. That is, until Zero clocks him with his bionic fist! GOOZLE… ABSOLUTE ZERO! HOLY SHIT – BIONIC CHOKESLAM OFF THE LADDER! Bishop plummets to the mat, leaving Zero to unhook his title!
Zero cements his reign as VHS Champion from Wrestle Heroes!
Backstage.
The Forever Friends stand outside a locker room door with the name ‘Victor Carfano’ on it, trying to pluck up the courage to knock on it.
“You do it,” Miles whispers, looking at Chunk.
“It’s your wabbit,” Chunk replies with a shrug.
Ultimo America meanwhile bravely knocks on the door. When Carfano answers and realizes it’s them, he immediately grabs America by the throat.
“Wait!” Miles interrupts the choking. “We came to apologize again. I know you won’t believe us, but we just want to be friends. We’ve even come to beg for your help.”
Victor reluctantly releases Ultimo, who grabs his neck with a cough.
“Wune took his wabbit,” Chunk chimes in. “We need to get him back. It’s a wabbitnapping! Can you help us wescue Dave?”
“We’ll stay out of your way,” Miles announces. “Just please, we need your help.”
Carfano thinks about it.
“How much money do you got on ya, kids?” Carfano barks, folding his arms.
Ultimo has no pockets, so that’s him out.
Chunk hands over a pocket full of crumbs – keeping the pie they belonged to, no doubt.
Miles has a button, some fluff and an English penny.
Which leaves Dewey.
Everyone turns to look at him.
“Oh, come on guys,” he begs off. “Not my coin purse. I need this to repair my weapon.”
Everyone looks down at his cardboard sword and frowns.
“Fine!” He gives in, handing a bag full of coins over to Carfano who chuckles.
“Alright boys, I’ll take the job,” he agrees. “I’ll get your ‘wabbit’ back.”
The Forever Friends high five as the door slams abruptly in their faces. Will Victor Carfano hold up his end of the bargain?
Cut.
Mister Andy proved his class at Wrestle Heroes but in his first defence of the Rewind Championship he’ll need all his powers of invention to overcome the crank and the magician.
The match begins and Rune makes straight for Magical Miles. The Magician is immediately on the defensive, the white flag of both hands raised. With his right index finger he asks for a moment and produces a deck of cards, he hands one to Rune, who turns it over and shrugs. M&M tosses the rest of the pack into the air…52 CARD PICK UP….and tries to escape. But Rune grabs Miles by the cape and swings him around and around, after three rotations launching The Magician into a turnbuckle, which he slams into hard and collapses on the floor.
The Painted Man now turns to Mister Andy, charging the champion, but The Toymaker takes The Glitch into a headlock, bounces off the ropes and connects with a running bulldog…CATASTROPHIC COLLIDER CACOPHONY!!! Cover for ONE…TWO…NO!!! MILES WITH THE SHOWSTOMPER!
Mister Andy gets up and looks down at his foot, like he’s been bitten by a bug. Miles hits the ropes and flies at The Toymaker…GORE!!! MISTER ANDY TAKES OUT MILES IN MID-AIR! SPINEBUSTER FOLLOWS!!! SUPERFINE TURBINE BLAST!!! The Toymaker looks like he’s got this won, but wait…TEAR THE VEIL!!! RUNE TAKES DOWN THE CHAMPION…ONE….TWO….KICKOUT!!!
Rune is up, he’s muttering to himself frantically, and confronted by Miles. The Magician has a wand and his top hat in his hands, he shouts “and for my next trick…” but Rune grabs Miles by the throat and thrusts him through the ropes to the outside. Mister Andy capitalises, scooping up The Glitch and hitting The Big Wheel…ONE…TWO…THREE!!!
Mister Andy sees through the veil with a touch of his own magic to retain the Rewind Championship.
Somewhere Else. Another day.
A flash of lightning.
A roar of thunder.
Inside of a very plain looking home, we find Sigil wreaking havoc on someone’s personal effects. Couches have been shredded, televisions shattered, and cabinets emptied.
The Collector seems to be on a very strict mission as he pulls pictures off the wall, and basically makes a mess of this suburban delight.
“There has to be something here.” He mutters. “She had to have left some kind of clue!”
She?
A picture on the ground quickly reveals whose home he has invaded.
The late Wynona Cartwright.
The woman he killed for the love crystal.
Thumbing through a notebook, Sigil keeps shaking his head.
“The Crypt was a fake. I don’t even know where the real book is. And the woman left nothing here to speak of where I can find other crystals.”
Sigil launches the book he’s holding into the wall before sighing.
Ding Dong.
The Collector’s head darts to the entryway.
Ding Dong.
Sigil walks to the front door, his body language incredulous that someone is ringing the door bell of a dead woman. With a weapon materializing in one hand, he opens the door…
…to reveal D’Von Chambers.
“A minute of your time, my brother?” Chambers says.
“Fuck off.” Sigil responds. “How did you know I was here?”
D’Von laughs.
“Your antics in retrieving crystals has certainly been public enough for me to have an idea of where you’d be searching for clues.”
Sigil shakes his head.
“So you, the man trying to raise dust balls back to life, are making fun of me now.”
He raises his weapon. Chambers raises his hands in peace.
“No, my brother. I have come for your help, as I’ve said. I will lead you to the power you seek, but you must help me raise Yahweh from the dust.”
The weapon vanishes from Sigil’s hand, and he leans into D’Von’s face.
“I’ve traveled from one end of the universe to another, from one end of space and time to the other, and I’ve put together the allies I need to take what I am after. Do you really think I care one little bit about Yahweh? I will find what I’m looking for, and you’re going to have to do what I told you to do earlier.”
He slams the door in D’Von’s face.
“Fuck off.”
Cut.
The Mountain. The Nightmare. Two of OSWs biggest and baddest stand across from one another in what is bound to be a brawl!
The bell rings and Banzan approaches Sandman without fear! The Dream Demon lashes out and grabs Banzan! He lifts for a double handed chokeslam- CHOP TO THE HEAD! Sandman drops Banzan AND GETS PULLED INTO THE SAITO SUPLEX! DUKKHA! Sandman is in a heap and Banzan arches!
BUT HE DOESN’T EVEN GET A ONE COUNT! Sandman forces himself out and Banzan doesn’t even have time to be surprised as a big boot takes off his head! He slams into the turnbuckle AND RIGHT BACK INTO THE END OF DAYS BY SANDMAN! DEEP SLEEP TO THE MOUNTAIN SHAKES THE FUCKING RING!
Sandman is quick to his feet and peels Banzan up, nailing him with a knee to the gut before hitting the ropes and flying back with a massive clothesline! BUT BANZAN TANKS THE BLOW! The Mountain refused to move and takes The Night Terror by surprise as he clobbers him with a massive right hand!
The blow causes the world champ to stumble and Banzan lays into him with lefts and rights but Sandman returns the strikes with intensity! HEADBUTT TO SANDMAN SENDS HIM BACK! MAGGA-NO! FOURTY WINKS! SANDMAN DRIVES HIS THUMBS DEEP INTO BANZAN’S EYES! The Mountain is screaming as he tries to free himself! HE TAPS! BANZAN TAPS!
The Sandman stands tall again, putting Banzan to sleep and continuing his reign of terror!
When we arrive backstage, we see Darklord being placed into the back of a wagon – only he stops himself, being stood upright at the door.
Batons are quickly produced, beating him into the back of the vehicle.
Viper Roberts is of course there to gloat – looking smug.
Did he arrange this?
Is a snake involved? They must be.
The wagon is about to pull away when the breaks are suddenly hit, almost slammed in fact, halting them instantly.
The vehicle shakes back and forth.
IT VIOLENTLY FLIPS OVER!
HOLY SHIT!
WHAT THE FUCK?
The entire police wagon shook violently back and forth before literally flipping over with some ferocity, landing on its side.
Viper rushes towards the door, only they kick open, the doors flying off their hinges.
Darklord emerges.
Oh my God.
He begins ambling towards an absolutely petrified Viper Roberts, who looks frantically from left to right, hoping for an escape route.
“I underestimated you,” Darklord growls. “I saw you people as insignificant. I was wrong.”
The Head Snake doesn’t run – he can’t. There’s no-where to go. He stands his ground as The Monster approaches.
“But don’t underestimate me, Roberts. You’ll do that at your peril.”
Gulp.
“What now?” Viper asks whilst looking him in the eye.
“I’ve learnt your lesson, snake; it’s time you learned mine.”
He’s about to strike when the sounds of sirens in the distance stop him. Realizing that he’s now wanted, he slowly backs away, knowing tactically that there’s a time and a place and this isn’t it.
Undeterred by Jessie’s exit, Ash and Luke slowly circle and size each other up.
“Come get some!” The silver-haired elder Williams repeats.
“I don’t want some; I want the whole thing!” Storm quips—
LUKE DRIVES HIS SHOULDER INTO ASH’S GUT!
HE RAMS HIM INTO THE NEAREST TREE!
The mixed martial-artist works his ribcage like a heavy bag. Williams, caught offguard by the size of the fight in the dog, hits back with clubbing blows across the back.
HE USES HIS 80-POUNDS WEIGHT ADVANTAGE TO SHOVE STORM BACK!
Luke skids in the mud, catching himself before he falls.
HE CHARGES ASH ONCE MORE—
THE FORMER CHOSEN ONE SIDE-STEPS HIM, THOUGH!
STORM RUNS UP THE TREE TRUNK!
HE BACKFLIPS OVER WILLIAMS’ HEAD!
LIGHTNING STR—ASH BLOCKS THE SUPERKICK!
HE SWEEPS THE LEGS…
CATAPULT!
LUKE HITS THE TRUNK FACE-FIRST!
He staggers back, fresh blood oozing from his swollen nose. A waiting, Fractured Williams locks his arms around his waist—
GERMAN SUPLEX ONTO A DAMN BOULDER!
Storm moans gutturally, as his back arches over the rock. Ash clambers up alongside him. He stands over Luke, framed against the sun.
HE REARS BACK WITH THE GAUNTLET—
HE’S GOING TO SPLATTER HIS BRAINS ALL OVER THE CLEARING!
BOOOOMST—
STORM SLIPS THROUGH HIS LEGS!
WILLIAMS BOOMSTICKS THE BOULDER!
The steel-on-rock collision sends shockwaves up Ash’s wrist, through the length of his forearm, and up to his shoulder. He howls in pain and loses his footing, tumbling onto the ground.
Luke claws his way onto onto all-fours; he fell through the damn Cell, then suffered the world’s worst amateur chiropractic adjustment. His back is shot.
Williams—the S-Mart Employee of the Month—recovers. Nursing his arm, he snarls at his son’s ally.
“After everything I’ve lost…” His voice cracks with emotion. “You brought Jessie back here!?”
HE KICKS HIM IN THE RIBS!
Luke falls flat on his gut, the air driven out of his lungs. He scrambles back onto his hands and knees…
“HE’S ALL I HAVE LEFT!”
ASH KICKS HIM AGAIN, FLIPPING HIM ONTO HIS BACK!
Storm rolls onto his side. Spitting blood onto the floor of the clearing, he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, then starts getting up—
“Do you have ANY idea what Sandman is capable of!?”
THE KING KICKS HIM SO HARD, HE LIFTS HIM OFF THE GROUND!
Landing in a heap in the mud, Luke coughs and splutters. He forces himself to sit up, propping himself against a sapling.
“A-actually…” He wheezes. “Yeah – I do.”
WILLIAMS ADVANCES—
BUT STORM SLINGS MUD IN HIS EYES!
ASH GROWLS AND SWINGS WILDLY AT THE AIR – HE’S BLINDED!
LUKE RISES TO HIS FEET!
THE TEMPEST TAKES IT TO WILLIAMS!
LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT, RIGHT, ELBOW, ELBOW, FOREARM, UPPERCUT – LUKE STORM IS GOING APE-SHIT ON THE OLD MAN!
Ash is pushed further and further back by the whirlwind of strikes, unable to keep up—
BOOMSTICK!?
NO!
STORM DUCKS THE DESPERATION SUPERMAN PUNCH!
LIGHTNING STRIKES!
THE SUPERKICK HITS ASH WILLIAMS ON HIS BIG-ASS CHIN!
He lands spread-eagle on the earthy floor. Nursing his back, Luke walks around his downed foe. He snaps the branch of a nearby sapling and swishes it through the air, nodding approvingly.
Ash groggily rolls onto his hands and knees. The Tempest pulls the Elk Grove resident’s shirt over his head…
“The Sandman—”
SNAP!
WILLIAMS SCREAMS AS STORM WHIPS HIM WITH THE BRANCH!
“MURDERED—”
CRACK!
Ash yelps like a wounded dog.
“My BROTHER—”
SLAP!
The lashes cut into his flesh.
“Edward FUCKING Newton—”
KER-RACK!
“Right in FRONT of me!”
Luke winds back for the finishing blow—
WILLIAMS TURNS AND GRABS THE BRANCH!
HE YANKS STORM INTO A MONKEY FLIP!
LUKE IS THROWN INTO A CLUSTER OF THORN BUSHES!
The fighter disappears from sight, as he sinks through the tangled branches.
Ash stands up, wincing at the open wounds on his back. He surveys his handiwork.
“You’ve been a thorn in my side long enough.” The jaded hero remarks.
He turns to leave, when a faint moan stops him.
Turning back round, he rolls his eyes as the gloved hand of Luke Storm emerges!
Dragging himself out of the bushes, his gear skagged, flesh torn, Stormbringer crawls up to Williams’ feet.
“You didn’t think it’d be that easy, did you?” He taunts.
“Ya know, for a minute there, yeah – I did.” Ash replies.
With that, he grabs Luke by his hair and pulls him to a nearby thicket.
SNATCHING A HANGING VINE, HE WRAPS IT AROUND STORM’S THROAT!
ASH WILLIAMS IS CHOKING THE LIFE OUT OF LUKE STORM!
The eldest Newton sibling thrashes desperately, his eyes bulging in their sockets, lips turning blue as he gasps for air…
Light in his eyes fading, Storm slowly sinks to the ground, his resistance growing feebler. His arms droop to his sides.
“Go to sleep, kiddo…” Ash says through gritted teeth, cinching the vine.
Luke stops struggling.
Chuckling to himself, Williams looks down—
HIS LEG IS THREADED THROUGH A VINE!
STORM WAS PLAYING POSSUM; HE TIED THE VINE AROUND HIS LEG!
Snapping into action, Luke pulls on the trap that he set—
THE VINE GOES TAUT – SNATCHING ASH OFF HIS FEET!
WILLIAMS IS SUSPENDED IN MID-AIR!
Massaging his windpipe, Storm gets back up. Smirking, he nudges Ash, causing him to sway back and forth.
Locking his fingers behind Williams’ head, Luke jerks him down—
DOWNPOUR! DOWNPOUR!
HE HITS THE CODEBREAKER!
The vine snaps, leaving Ash lying on the ground, motionless.
The old Luke Storm would end it here and walk away to find Jessie. Category 5 Luke Storm, however, doesn’t. Vengeance is bubbling inside him, and Williams has provoked his wrath…
He doubles down and starts climbing the oldest, thickest, tallest tree on the perimeter of the clearing. Its gnarled bark, bearing lightning-scars and claw-marks, provides natural footholds and handgrips.
Scaling the tree, Luke crosses his heart and looks over his shoulder at Ash. He asked for this…
HE PUSHES OFF FROM THE TREE TRUNK!
MOONSAULT – THUUUUNDERRRRR!
WILLIAMS ROLLS OUT OF HARM’S WAY!
HOLY SHIT!
STORM HITS THE GROUND HARD!
HE COULD BE SERIOUSLY INJURED!
THERE ARE NO REFEREES, EMTs, OR ANY OTHER RINGSIDE CREW TO HELP!
Even Ash can’t believe what he’s seeing, mouth agape as he holds his head.
Fortunately, Luke shows signs of life. He wiggles his fingers, then gingerly moves his arms and legs, checking for himself that his extremities still work. The combination of mud and moss must have provided just enough cushion to break Storm’s fall.
Seeing stars, The Real F’n Deal slowly gets to his feet…
WILLIAMS HOISTS HIM UP—
SPINNING GOTCH PILEDRIVER – HAIL TO THE FUCKING KING!
LUKE GETS DROPPED ON HIS HEAD!
Ash polishes the Boomstick knuckles nice and shiny. He’s ready to end this damn thing once and for all!
Storm somehow summons the testicular fortitude to get up, albeit on jelly-legs. He turns around…
WILLIAMS LEAPS INTO THE AIR!
SUPERMAN PUNCH!
BOOOOOOMST—GALE FORCE!
LUKE COUNTERS WITH THE STUNNER!
Ash’s square jaw clatters into Storm’s shoulder, knocking him out cold.
Standing tall over Williams, Luke looks up at the eerily-calm clearing…
After that absolute brawl of a match between Luke Storm and Ash Williams, it’s safe to say that the pair have a new found respect for one another.
As they rise back to their feet in exhaustion, the last thing they see coming is The Sandman.
He runs right over both of them with a furious Clothesline that slams both back down to the dirt.
Ash rolls over to the Shotgun, grabbing it as Luke gets back to his feet and lunges forward with a Superkick.
Only the Sandman stops it, swatting him away only to step down onto the Shotgun, meaning Ash can’t pick it up.
Williams rolls away and leaps into the air upon getting back to his feet.
BOOMSTICK!
HE NAILED IT!
Sandman stumbles backwards, but shakes it off. He grabs Luke who comes again and rams him head first into a tree, knocking him out cold.
Ash tries another Boomstick but gets caught by the throat.
CHOKESLAM!
CHOKESLAM ONTO THE DIRT!
Both Ash and Luke are out cold! The Sandman grabs a leg each and begins dragging them away towards his dungeon.
He has plans and these two are now right smack dab in the middle of them.
Meanwhile, back in the brush, Jessie Williams hears the commotion and comes running back.
Only he’s too late.
The Sandman is gone, as are Luke Storm and Ash Williams.
Cut.