Static covers the screen as a Play ► symbol appears in the bottom right-hand corner.
It’s the early morning and we’re greeted by a fluffy white quilt as we enter the bedroom of Zero and Pyre. They’re both relaxing in bed, Zero with his arms behind his head and Pyre snuggled in close.
This isn’t how we’re used to seeing them. It’s a peek behind the curtain. On the bedroom unit beside Zero is his OSW World Championship and the Invasion Briefcase sits beside Pyre.
[ Zero ] “So, we’re gonna have to talk about it, ain’t we?”
She looks up at him.
[ Pyre ] “I know.”
[ Zero ] “I’m the OSW World Champion and you got the Invasion Briefcase.”
Pyre sits up slightly, so that she can look at him properly.
[ Pyre ] “There’s a lot of people out there who’d tell you they’d never invade in a million years, Xav and we both know they’d be lying.”
[ Zero ] “We don’t lie to each other, Pam; never fuckin’ have, never fuckin’ will.”
[ Pyre ] “Right? So, listen to me when I say this; I will not invade on you. I’m not lying, I’m not playing the long game and I’m not setting you up. Anyone else? Sure; But not you. I don’t give a fuck what people think! I’m promising you on the ring I accepted that I will never betray you.”
Zero sits up and pulls her in close for a hug.
[ Zero ] “I dig it, baby. I dig it. I just had to ask though; you know? You have every right to come at me for a piece of this gold.”
[ Pyre ] “But I won’t. I promise you, Xav.”
They both smile.
[ Zero ] “He who gets it next is fucked, then?”
[ Pyre ] “Royally.”
[ Zero ] “In the meantime, you know I gotta get at Simon for those divorce papers; that shit is gonna get fuckin’ worse before it gets better.”
[ Pyre ] “You do what you gotta do for us, baby. I won’t ever critique that. I know you’re gonna have to do some questionable shit to get those papers and if you need my help, you’ve got it.”
They both hug once again.
Stood in the middle of the ring with a microphone is none other than Viper Roberts.
The Head Snake looks focused as the boos reign out around him.
[ Viper Roberts ] “Snake…”
[ Viper Roberts ] “Get out here.”
“All the waaaaaaaay to the stratosphere, baby!”
A majestic drum fill plays red carpet to a thumping bass line and a fortified horn section, as “If It Ain’t Funky” by Chuck Brown and the Soul Searches starts to play.
The Purple Pelican makes his way out, looking rather worried. He carefully walks down the ramp and slides under the bottom rope, into the ring.
[ Viper Roberts ] “Cut the music!”
He yells, forcing the music to abruptly cut.
[ Viper Roberts ] “When I began collecting snakes, I created a system that protected their identity and kept them anonymous. The point in such a system is that no-one knows a snake of mine when they see it.”
Roberts steps closer to Wiz, getting in his face.
[ Viper Roberts ] “Until now.”
The Purple Pelican begins apologizing profusely, his eyes welling up with tears at having displeased his master.
[ Viper Roberts ] “At Pandemonium, you allowed yourself to be outed to the world. Everyone knows you belong to me, and if everyone knows it, you’re of no fucking use to me.”
Wiz begins crying – audibly sobbing.
[ Wiz ] “Please, Mr. Roberts…”
He reaches out, clutching at the arm of Viper who simply pushes hm away.
[ Viper Roberts ] “You’re fired; you’re done. You’re outta here, Wiz. You’re no longer a snake that belongs to me.”
With that said, Viper throws the microphone down and exits the ring, leaving Wiz sobbing in the middle of it. Whatever hold Viper has over these people, it’s raw, vile, and strong.
Just then, the lights go out, soon replaced with strobing purple and green as Sexy Dynamite begins to play. Tag appears at the top of the ramp, looking down at Wiz for a moment before running to the ring. He heads straight past Roberts and slides in, stopping before the kneeling Purple Pelican.
[ Tag ] “What the fuck is going on!?”
He demands to know.
Only Wiz, his eyes red with tears, rolls away to the outside and begins chasing after Roberts.
Tag can’t believe it.
He looks on in utter shock.
What the fuck has happened to Wiz?
DEATHNOTE VS. STARBOY
One makes love, one writes death – but whose narrative to win over the audience tonight?
Deathnote stalks The Ass for The Masses. Starboy grabs their “credentials” and begins gyrating at The New God but Deathnote gives that short shrift with a running lariat. Starboy is back to their feet, Deathnote looking for a big boot, Starboy ducks. OIL CHECK!!!!
As Deathnote’s entire body stiffens with that violation, Starboy drops him with a hurricanrana from behind. The Lover springs to their feet, adjusts their thong, hits the ropes and lands a “teabag” bomb onto the face of Deathnote. Cover for ONE….TWO….SHOULDER UP!!!
Starboy whips Deathnote into a corner, climbs to the middle rope and dry humps the face of The Bookkeeper. POWERBOMB OUT OF THE CORNER!!!! Deathnote had had ENOUGH!!! Roughly lifting Starboy onto his shoulders, Deathnote hits a running Burning Hammer….DYING WISH!!! Cover for ONE! TWO! THREE-NO!!! KICKOUT!!! Deathnote isn’t done, lifting Starboy by the throat, The Author charges The Lover into a corner….BUKKAKE!!! Molky white goo all over Deathnote’s mask. DONKEY PUNCH!!!!!
Starboy on the top rope…CHOCOLATE STARFISH DESTROYER….NO!!! DEATHNOTE COUNTERS INTO THE GTS….GATHER THY SOUL!!!! Cover for ONE….TWO….THREEE….NO!!! SHOULDER UP!!! Deathnote is furious. He drags Starboy to their feet and TURNS THE PAGE!!!! ONE! TWO! THREEEE!!!!
The Shinigami proves the pen is mightier than the sword!
Impaler is backstage resting. The effects of the last few months catching up to him, as he reflects on Lambs to the Slaughter. When out of the darkness a voice calls out.
[???] “WHERE IS HE?!”
Legion stands to his feet preparing for a fight. A look of exhaustion on his face as Lucy Seraphina approaches in a rage.
[ The Impaler ] “What are you talking about?”
Lucy gets up into the Impaler’s face, a look of anger written across her own.
[ Lucy Seraphina ] “We were there that night, in Night City! Where is my brother?”
The Dread Pirate rolls his eyes at the mention of Night City once again. He turns to leave, having had enough of Seraphina and Night City already.
[ The Impaler ] “Chronoa set you up for this? Give you some story about seeing your brother there that night?”
The Angel of Silence grabs him and turns him around not willing to be dismissed like she has been lately.
[ Lucy Seraphina ] “Fuck you, and fuck Chronoa. I said we were there when you did whatever it was you did. It’s where I lost my brother Lucien.”
Impaler pulls away from Lucy. He turns to look her up and down sizing her up.
[ The Impaler ] “I don’t know what you’re talking about. How am I supposed to know where anybody was that night? I’ve got bigger things to worry about than your little wild goose chase for some dumb fuck who wound up where he shouldn’t have been. Besides, don’t you have issues of your own? Heard you killed Tenchu.”
Lucy shakes her head sticking her finger into the masked visage of the Dread Pirate of Pro Wrestling.
[ Lucy Seraphina ] “What are you talking about? I was no where near Tenchu. As for my brother, I know you had something to do with him. I’m going to make your life hell until you tell me what happened!”
Impaler walks out the door before turning back one last time.
[ The Impaler ] “High Stakes may have been short lived, so I’m letting you off. But you leave Night City alone before I remind you what happens when I set my focus on you. This is your only warning.”
Impaler heads out into the darkness of the night as Lucy contemplates her next move.
The smiling face of Chip Montana fills the screen, the footage somewhat shaky from a handheld camera.
[ Chip Montana ] “G’day mates! I’m Chip Montana, and I’m grabbing nature…”
We zoom out shakily, revealing a set up behind Chip that could only be thought up in Wiley E. Coyote’s dreams. An elaborate system of ropes and pulleys leading to a large net that hangs suspended in the air.
[ Chip Montana ] “By the balls!”
He brings a finger up to his mouth. Crouching down, he holds a carrot in his other hand.
[ Chip Montana ] “Be very quiet… Today, I’m hunting rabbits.”
He places the carrot on the floor, measuring out the distance between the net and the floor underneath by closing one eye and raising his thumb in the air, to squint past it thoughtfully. Satisfied that he has the perfect spot, he carefully steps away, being careful not to trip over his elaborate system of tripwires.
[ Chip Montana ] “These pesky little blighters are tricky buggers. One cannot be too careful. Now, we crack open a Fosters and we wait.”
He backs away, hiding behind a pile of crates and cracks open a can of true-blue Fosters beer. But he doesn’t have to wait long. In about four sips time, he hears the telltale sound.
The sound of rope and nets falling to the ground and Chip Montana pops out with all the gusto of a wallaby.
[ Chip Montana ] “Aha! I’ve got you now you pesky little… What?! You’re not a rabbit! What the blazes are you doing in my trap, you flaming galah?”
The trap has snapped shut. The net has fallen. But where Chip Montana expected to find Dave the Rabbit, he finds a particularly frustrated looking Kaine Knightlord. Knightlord, whose human side momentarily gives way, bares his teeth.
[ Kaine Knightlord ] “What is the meaning of this? How dare you.”
Montana takes one look at his fangs and shakes his head.
[ Chip Montana ] “Not bloody vampires again. What is it about this place that attracts you pricks?”
Kaine struggles with the net, tossing it off himself after a few moments of frustration. Chip Montana holds up his hands.
[ Chip Montana ] “Nevermind. You cost me a rabbit. Now either you’re going to help me catch the blighter, or I’m gonna have to roll me sleeves up.”
Kaine Knightlord looks a little dumbfounded, unsure how to respond. In the end, he doesn’t. He turns and walks away without a word.
[ Chip Montana ] “Oi! Get back here!”
Montana throws his hands up in dramatic frustration, but doesn’t see the presence of a third figure watching intently.
She holds open a tome of sorts, glancing at the pages before looking up with a shake of her head.
[ Chronoa ] “Those that do not learn from the mistakes of history are fated to repeat them.”
VIGOUR VS. BANZAN
What happens when a monk and an alien step into the ring together? Let’s find out!
The bell rings and Vigour bee-lines at Banzan, locking horns with all his might— Banzan simply tosses him back to the mat and readies himself for Vigour’s next rush at him. Vigour’s up and flies back at Banzan only this time to be met with a TIGER CLAW— FIVE POINT PALM STRIKE!
Vigour crumbles to the mat but Banzan lifts the Prince of Party right back up by his jacket collar, dangling him off the ground— HEADBUTT! ANOTHER!! THREE HEADBUTTS!!! Vigour may be concussed but The Mountian doesn’t let up— DUKKHA!! SAITO SUPLEX!! Cover— ONE! … TWO!! … THR— VIGOUR KICKS OUT!!
Banzan shakes his head as if he wishes Vigour had stayed down for his own sake, then stalks Vigour from the corner as he rises to his knees. To end his suffering, Banzan rushes at him— MAGGA!! BUT VIGOUR DUCKED UNDER THE KINSHASA!! Banzan whips back around only to be met with pain…
LOW DROPKICK TO BANZAN’S INJURED KNEE FROM PANDEMONIUM! Vigour seizes his moment— QUICK THRILL!! STANDING SHOOTING STAR PRESS INTO A COVER— ONE— BANZAN TOSSES VIGOUR OFF!! Banzan crawls to the apron for reprieve— but Vigour is there! Banzan’s caught between the ropes as Vigour hops up— PLEASURE SEEKER!! KIWF PILEDRIVER!!! Cover— ONE! TWO!! THREE!!!
It was a tough climb, but Vigour has climbed atop the Mountain’s summit tonight!
With the match over, both Vigour and Banzan eventually get up to their feet. They look at one another, nodding in respect as they meet in the middle of the ring.
They shake hands, but Banzan holds on, holding eye contact with the Good Time Guy.
[ Banzan ] “There it is.”
Vigour pulls away quickly.
[ Vigour ] “There what is?”
Holding his hands up in peace, the Mountain continues.
[ Banzan ] “I thought I felt it during the match, but now I’m sure. Energy waves, of a kind I’ve never felt before. They cut through the natural flow, going…”
He trails off, shrugging.
[ Vigour ] “And your point?”
The monk pauses before answering.
[ Banzan ] “You don’t know what they are, do you?”
[ Vigour ] “Do you?”
Banzan shakes his head in the negative.
[ Banzan ] “All I know is that they distract you, keep you from focusing on your goal. Let me help you.”
Vigour snorts, placing his hands on his hips.
[ Vigour ] “Help me? How do you plan to do that, big man? We’re dealing with powers you know nothing about.”
He goes to leave the ring, but Banzan reaches forward to grab his arm. Vigour reacts with a raised hand, but the Mountain doesn’t blink.
[ Banzan ] “I don’t know what the energy is, but I know how to read its flow. Meditate with me next week, and we will try to unearth the mystery of your energy waves.”
A moment passes, the anger dissipating from Vigour’s eyes. Finally, he nods.
[ Vigour ] “Next week, then.”
The two men nod at one another, taking their leave for the ring.
All the while, a hooded figure looks on from the rafters.
“CASUALITES OF WAR”
We find ourselves in the presence of Death himself, whose expression quickly sours at the sight of his servant Mortimer, whose head is bowed in solemn reverence.
[ Rain ] “Something tells me I’m not going to like the news you bring, Mortimer.”
The servant gives a slow nod of confirmation, still unable—or unwilling—to look Death in the eye.
[ Mortimer ] “We tracked Sigil down, with the help of Corvus and the trap he set into place…but the Collector had backup. The damage he caused on his way out was tremendous…and our Reapers suffered mass casualties.”
This only further frustrates Death, who turns away from his servant as he shakes his head in disbelief.
[ Rain ] “No, that won’t do. That won’t do at all, Mortimer.”
Just as quickly, Death turns his attention back to the messenger of this disappointing turn of events.
[ Rain ] “But, if Sigil has some sort of plan in place, rest assured…so do I.”
This draws a look of concern from Mortimer, who finally raises his head out of curiosity.
[ Mortimer ] “Do you mean…?”
The question prompts a knowing nod from Death, a smirk forming on his face.
[ Rain ] “The next phase is about to commence, Mortimer. Sigil has played this game a little too long, and he’s about to suffer the consequences. We have a lot of work to do, Mortimer…very important work.”
The servant nods his head in agreement.
[ Mortimer ] “Of course. So it begins.”
With that, the pair walk off, leaving us to ponder what plan Death looks to set in motion…and what Sigil could possibly do to stop it.
CHRONOA vs. SIMON
Is it possible to plan three steps ahead of fate? We find out tonight!
The bell rings and Chronoa and Simon tie up. Chronoa uses her sky-scraping height to her advantage, imposing on Simon by pushing him down to his knees. Just as Simon is about to get pinned to the mat however, that sly bastard slides under between Chronoa’s legs and yanks her arms through, sending her face-first into the mat!
Simon hooks Chronoa’s leg up and transitions into an STF! The Taskmaster yanks back as Chronoa fights and claws her way to the ropes for the break! But Simon yanks Chronoa off the ropes by her leg and slams her knee into the mat before the ref pushes Simon away with a verbal warning!
Simon catches Chronoa as she’s getting up— he hooks her sore leg— AND LIFTS UP FOR A SIMONPLEX!! …NO— CHRONOA COUNTERS INTO A BIG VERTICAL SUPLEX OF HER OWN!! Both competitors up to their feet and Simon charges right into a BIG BOOT from Chronoa!!
Simon clutches his lower back as he gets up to meet the Harbinger of Fate, who doubles him over with a kick to the gut— IMPLANT DDT!! SIMON’S BEEN STRUCK WITH PANDEMONIUM’S CURSE!! Chronoa knots up Simon’s legs into a figure four cloverleaf— CHRONOA GIVES HIM SOME OLD SCHOOL EDUCATION!! SIMON TAPS!!!
Tonight Simon has been taught why we cannot and should not tempt fate!
“DINNER FOR THREE”
The smells of pulled pork and barbecue sauce radiate through the backstage as we find ourselves staring at a plate of the juiciest, meatiest southern BBQ you could hope to find in a place like New York. And who else could be digging into it if not The Hungry Girl herself.
However, despite having such a delicious meal in front of her, she doesn’t seem all that keen to eat it as she picks at it solemnly. Even the glass of coke she has is untouched.
[ Ether ] “Man… I ain’t even hungry right now.”
This statement of surprising fact is met with a shocked, though mocking, gasp as two figures enter the room.
[ Pyre ] “You aren’t hungry? You? Thank god, maybe some kids won’t go hungry tonight.”
[ Hollywood Luke Storm ] “Think if we’re fast enough we can get this to the family of eight who ordered it?”
Standing in front of the poor girl are two members of Bad Mother Fuckers, their faces covered in painfully cocky smirks as they approach, Storm placing his hand on the table in front of Ether, leaning towards her.
[ Hollywood Luke Storm ] “Heard there’s trouble in paradise with dumb and dumber. Guess not every group can last forever though, right?”
Ether looks up from her meal at Storm, sneering, gritting her teeth as she retorts.
[ Ether ] “Shut your fuckin’ mouth, C-list. Keep talkin’ about my friends and you’ll be on the menu.”
[ Pyre ] “Your friends? You mean the snake and the dumbass-”
A FORK GOES INTO STORM’S HAND!
A GLASS OF COKE INTO PYRE’S FACE!
[ Hollywood Luke Storm ] “BITCH!”
STORM THROWS A HAYMAKER THAT CLOCKS ETHER! PYRE FLINGS THE TABLE RIGHT INTO THE HUNGRY GIRL’S FACE! SHE GETS A FACEFUL OF PORK AND SAUCE AS BMF SLAMS HER TO THE GROUND!
Ether struggles to move the heavy wooden table, covered in food as Storm and Pyre turn to leave.
[ Pyre ] “Best watch your back, pig. You ain’t got any friends to do it for you.”
The two Bad Mother Fuckers leave, leaving us with Ether as she slides out from under the table, wiping food off of herself as she’s forced to prepare for her match.
We find ourselves some distance away from the Slaughterhouse, inside a building long abandoned by its owners…but not unoccupied for long, as a pair of figures step into view, staring each other down.
We quickly recognize the pair, Corvus and Deathnote, the latter of whom wears a mix of concern and frustration on his face.
[ Deathnote ] “I understand you have some information for me?”
Corvus gives a nod in response.
[ Corvus ] “I am aware of your search for the book, and after our recent little…confrontation, I did some digging. I needed to know what he was hiding…and I can now confirm your suspicions, that the Collector indeed has what you seek.”
This frustrates the Author of Death, realizing he had Sigil in his clutches.
[ Deathnote ] “Tell me then, Corvus…why did Sigil take it? What possessed the Collector to try and test me?”
[ Corvus ] “He was eager to find Death’s name written in its pages, to stop what was coming to him…but the Collector got far, far more than he bargained for.”
This draws a small chuckle from Deathnote.
[ Deathnote ] “He figured you out, I gather?”
Another nod from the Hidden Blade.
[ Corvus ] “In his reading of those pages, in that search for the name he desired, he became aware of my impending betrayal. I lost sight of him, but only temporarily…Death will have him yet, it’s only a matter of time.”
Deathnote nods in agreement, a wicked smirk on his face at the chance to catch the Collector and retrieve his book.
But the pair are not alone in this meeting space. As we turn our focus away from Corvus and Deathnote, we notice a figure lurking in the shadows, glaring at the exchange with a stern face.
VAYIKRA VS. JET SET RADIO
In one corner Vayikra stand united by a common purpose. Opposite them, Jet Set Radio look fractured after the revelation that Wiz has been recruited as one of Viper Roberts’ snakes. Let’s fight!
Tag and Ether stand together, a visible chasm of space between them and Wiz, who they regard suspiciously. The Purple Pelican steps through the ropes and is instantly set upon by Sir Renault. Chop after chop to the chest and a belly to belly overhead suplex across the ring. Sir Bellator is tagged in.
The Templar climbs to the top rope, missile dropkick to the chest of Wiz and then a slingshot tornado DDT. Cover for ONE! KICKOUT! The Snake easily powers out. But Vayikra keep up the pressure, Sir Gable tagged in and he immediately gets to work with some tight technical holds, eventually manipulating Wiz into a German suplex.
Swivel of the hips by Gable and he lifts Wiz again. Back elbow and an Enziguri!!!! TAPDANCE FUNK!!! Wiz scrambles to his corner looking for a tag but Tag and Ether TURN THEIR BACKS ON THEIR PARTNER!!! Wiz stands up and turns….GOLD RUSH!!!! Sir Gable speared Wiz out of his boots. A cover again for ONE! TWO! THREE-
NO!!! Tag drags the referee out of the ring. Vayikra seize the opportunity to lay a beat down on the fallen Wiz. Eventually the ref gets in and clears them. Wiz blind tags Ether. The Hungry Girl steps in and Gable immediately wraps her up in SILENCE IS GOLDEN!!!! Tag tries to intervene but is cut off Renault and Bellator as The Hungry Girls slips into unconsciousness!
The sound of Yahweh’s call drowns out the Jet Set Radio tonight!
Backstage, SeeSaw wanders through the halls of the Slaughterhouse. He’s muttering to himself, clutching the vial of mutagen given to him at Pandemonium by Sir Bellator. HIs eyes are darting back and forth.
Searching for something.
Nearing a dead end, SeeSaw begins to turn around but his gaze catches an open door. Curiosity getting the best of him, Mr. Make Believe steps into it. It’s completely dark, the only light coming from the hallway.
That is, until the door slams shut.
Then a small flame flickers into existence, illuminating a table. Sat on the other end is none other than Sir Vant.
[ SeeSaw ] “I’ve been looking for you.”
Vant leans forward, the candle inches from his grey beard.
[ Sir Vant ] “So I’ve heard. Have you come for more information about your wretched creation?”
Mr. Make Believe takes a seat opposite Sir Vant, absentmindedly twirling the mutagen as he speaks with sinister undertones.
[ SeeSaw ] “Information? I thought you wanted me dead?”
[ Sir Vant ] “Revelation comes before death, boy. The fact remains that you are not the only abomination out there, created in a test tube with that vile liquid you brandish like a child’s toy.”
Nodding, the VHS Champion stops twirling the vial, instead growing deadly serious.
[ SeeSaw ] “I could kill you right now.”
[ Sir Vant ] “So you think.”
Leaning back into the darkness, Vant seems as a ghost in the darkness.
[ Sir Vant ] “You have the documents and the mutagen. But there is something else you must gain before you confront your salacious siblings.”
[ SeeSaw ] “And you have it?”
[ Sir Vant ] “If you want it, then you must complete a task for me. Banzan is another abomination that must be destroyed. You will seek him out and do what you will with him. He must not meet with Vigour. Then you will meet me at Heritage Village for further instructions.”
Raising an eyebrow, SeeSaw accepts a slip of paper that Sir Vant slides to him. Just as he opens his mouth to speak, the candle goes out.
CHIP MONTANA VS. PYRE
Can Chip feature Pyre on his web-show? Or will Pyre make Chip’s career burn out? Does Chip even realize he has a match tonight??
“Crikey…” Chip exclaims, running his hands over Pyre’s body as he inspects her. “What a BEAUT—“ CAMEL CLUTCH!! CHIP WENT RIGHT IN!! The crowd looks on in horror— it’s not the camel clutch they’re accustomed to… SLAP!! PYRE JUST SLAPPED THE ABSOLUTE CHIP OUT OF HIM!!
Chip staggers back and Pyre follows up with a flying forearm that knocks Chip into the corner. Kick to the midsection, another, another— Pyre’s on a rampage, and concludes her onslaught with a massive QUESTION MARK KICK to the face that drops him on his ass!
Pyre is tuning up the band from the corner as Chip rises to his feet— BAPTISM BY FIRE! NO! CHIP DUCKS IT! Chip wraps his limbs around Pyre from behind as if they were tentacles— OCTOPUS HOLD!! Chip can’t quite lock it in around Pyre’s arm though and she slips out, picking him up into a FIREMAN’S CARRY!
Pyre tosses Chip up— and drops him into an X-Factor— FIRE IN THE BELLY!! Pyre rolls Chip over and hooks a leg— ONE! TW— CHIP USES PYRE’S MOMENTUM AGAINST HER AND ROLLS THROUGH INTO A SMALL PACKAGE!! “Oi!” he yells as the ref counts— ONE! TWO!! CHIP HAS PYRE’S TIGHTS— THREE!!!
Chip managed to con Pyre into his net, exposing her to his viewers!
WINNER: CHIP MONTANA
The Generation Kid walks backstage, fresh from his big victory at Pandemonium. But he’s alone, and it’s quiet – something we’re not used to seeing around him. He enters through a doorway after taking a quick look at a note from his back pocket, and as he steps into the even darker room…
[ Vigour/Starboy ] “SURPRISE!”
The lights in the room come on all at once – rainbow of course – as confetti pours from the ceiling, fluttering all over the nicely prepared buffet sat against the back wall. Party music pulses in the background.
[ The Generation Kid ] “Guys, what is all this?”
[ Vigour ] “Well, we remember when we first found you backstage. A quiet mouse, wouldn’t say boo to a goose.”
[ Starboy ] “And just look at you now. Standing up for yourself with Wiz over your board and winning the Lambs match. You’ve changed. Starboy could almost even say you’re more forward than him…”
Vigour looks at him, eyebrows raised.
[ Starboy ] “What? Starboy said ALMOST“.
[ Vigour ] “We’re just proud of what you’ve become since you arrived. And you know us, man, we can’t turn down any excuse for a party! We wanted to celebrate you, Kid!”
TGK smiles, still rooted to the spot near the door, whilst the other two stand near the buffet.
[ The Generation Kid ] “Aww shucks, guys, I’m turning red. You both know I couldn’t have done this without y-”
That Eighties Kid doesn’t get to finish his sentence as suddenly the party music cuts, the rainbow lights stop dancing and Sir Gable appears, grabbing the Kid from behind, rendering him unable to move. As Vigour and Starboy look to come to his aid, the buffet table lurches forward, splintering, Sir Renault and Sir Bellator emerging from behind them and taking hold of them both. All three members of Vayikra slug at the Rainbow Party with lefts and rights. Renault and Bellator both making extra sure that Vigour and Starboy can’t stand, their faces red with their own blood.
[ Sir Bellator ] “Just look at this disgusting scene.”
[ Sir Renault ] “We could hardly believe it. The gall you all have to flaunt your sins so openly.”
Sir Gable, wrestling with TGK as he tries to escape, wrenches his neck so that he can see the faces of Vayikra before him.
[ Sir Gable ] “Exodus chapter 20, verses 4 to 6 state it very clearly. You shall not bow down or serve them.”
Vigour, barely able to move, let alone think, mumbles.
[ Vigour ] “Serve who?”
[ Sir Renault ] “False idols. Mere mortals masquerading as Gods on this earth. This “celebration” of The Generation Kid is uncouth. It’s pure idolatry, and we cannot stand for it.”
Sir Bellator steps forward menacingly, having thrown Starboy to one side.
[ Sir Bellator ] “God does not tolerate idolatry either, and we do the Lord’s bidding as he wishes us to. Within the bible he tells us two things for certain. One, that all false idols should be REMOVED.”
[ Sir Gable ] “And two, that all those who worship them are not worthy of life under the one true God.”
And with that, Renault throws Vigour to one side too, the pair lighting a match each and dropping them on the napkins all over the floor that once adorned the buffet.
[ Sir Gable ] “That’s why you’re coming with us, false idol.”
He wrenches TGK towards the open door.
[ Sir Renault ] “And why these two blasphemers must pay for their idolatry, in fire and brimstone.”
The fire rages as Vayikra escape with The Generation Kid. Moments later, Vigour and Starboy manage to crawl from the burning room, just about alive but exhausted and covered in soot.
But TGK is nowhere to be seen.
MAIN EVENT MATCH
ZERO © VS. VIPER ROBERTS
The Bad Mother Fucker versus The Head Snake. Can Viper Roberts slither his way back into title contention with a victory over the current champ OSW World Champion?
A collar-elbow tie-up but the boost of that bionic arm gives Zero the advantage and he forces Viper back into a corner against a turnbuckle. KICK BETWEEN THE LEGS!!! No fucks given by the Viper as he deals a blow to Zero and Pyre’s happy family prospects. The Head Snake lifts himself onto the middle rope with a flying a double axe handle smash to Zero, the champ is down.
Viper peels Zero off the mat and controls him with a headbutt, then a snap suplex. Viper is feeling confident as he slithers around Zero, slowly unbuckling his belt.
TANNIN’ THE HIDE!!!
Zero uses the power of his bionic arm to spring off the mat into a handspring hurricanrana.
Viper rolls through but gets to his feet quickly.
The Bad Mamajama nearly decapitates The Snake with a brutally stiff bionic clothesline. Zero is now stalking Roberts, like a mongoose stalking a serpent. Viper gets to his feet.
PUNK CITY KILLLLLAAAAAAA!!!!
Viper sends Zero into the ropes. DROP. TOE. HOLD. The most electrifying move in The Slaughterhouse pops the audience.
Viper rolls over Zero and locks in an ANACONDA VICE!!!! The World Champion is locked and got no escape route in the middle of the ring.
IS THE WORLD CHAMPION GOING TO TAP OUT???
With a huge effort Zero swivels his hips and shifts himself and Viper to Zero’s right. Viper still has the submission locked in but Viper’s shoulders are pinned to the mat.
VIPER ISN’T LETTING GO!!!
Viper is releases and rolls away at the very last nanosecond. But the damage has been done. Zero staggers back to his feet.
ODE TO THE SNAKE!!!!
Zero is spiked headfirst into the mat. Viper covers…
Zero gets the shoulder up!
But The Head Snake is in total control here. Lifting Zero up by the hair, Viper lifts a knee to the chest of Viper and then clubs the back of his head with a forearm smash. Zero is down on his knees, Viper hoists him high into the air, holding the position for a stalling vertical suplex.
HOLY SHIT!!! THE HEAD SNAKE JUST BORED A HOLE RIGHT THROUGH ZERO!!!!
It’s academic now as Viper covers…
Zero gets a shoulder up again! There is zero quit in the champ!
Showing some frustration, Viper slides out of the ring and folds up a steel chair. As he gets back in the ring with it, the ref cuts him off. The Head Snake burns a fucking hole right through the ref and the official backs off. Viper lifts the chair above his head.
SHADES OF LUKE STORM FROM ZERO!!!!!
Viper staggers back onto the ropes, bouncing right back into a reverse fireman’s carry by Zero.
CPU DRIVER!!!! BURNING HAMMER!!!!!!
Viper looks done. He looks finished. But does Zero have anything left to get across and cover.
The champion does. Zero hooks the legs…
HAS ZERO DONE IT?
FOOT ON THE ROPES!!!!
VIPER’S INCREDIBLE RING INTELLIGENCE PAYS OFF AGAIN!!!
There’s a natural break as both men trying to summon reserve powers to get them going again. On opposite sides of the ring, Viper and Zero are using the ropes to get back to their feet. Surprisingly, it is Zero that looks fresher now and he charges at Viper.
VIPER PULLED THE REFEREE INTO ZERO’S PATH!!!!
THE OFFICIAL TOOK THE FULL FORCE OF THAT BIONIC CLOTHESLINE!!!!!
Viper takes advantage of the distraction to blind Zero. He pulls off his belt.
TANNIN’ THE HIDE!!!!!
The Head Snake is giving beating Zero like a fucking runt mutt!
Having battered ten shits of hell into Zero, Viper now uses the belt to choke the world champion. Dragging Zero to his feet is Viper’s mistake because Zero frees himself with a mule kick.
PUNK CITY KILLEEEERRRR!!!!
VIPER TOOK EVERY DAMN BIT OF IT!!!!
Count the crowd. But the official is still down!
Zero tries to rouse the man in the middle, eventually restoring consciousness.
Viper clocks Zero from behind! And hits the wraparound neckbreaker!!
Viper drops down for the cover and the ref is now on the spot to make the count…
Zero shows that champion’s fortitude to get a shoulder off the mat.
Viper is losing it. The Snake rolls out of the ring and sets up a table on the concrete. Back inside the ring, The former OSW Champion peels the current OSW Champion off the mat and drags him across to a corner, lifting him up to the top turnbuckle.
WHAT DEVILISH IDEA IS RUNNING THROUGH VIPER’S MIND?
The Head Snake lifts up the cyborg-
HE’S GOING TO SUPLEX HIM FROM THE TOP ROPE TO THE OUTSIDE!!!
But Zero reverses, sliding out. He GOOZLES The Head Snake…
FROM THE TOP ROPE!!!!
THROUGH THE TABLE ON THE OUTSIDE!!!!!!
VIPER ROBERTS IS SURELY FINISHED!!!! HE MUST BE FUCKING DEAD!!!!
Zero stands on the top rope as the crowd are going berserk inside The Slaughterhouse. The referee initiates a ten count.
No movement among the wreckage.
Viper Roberts is motionless!
The debris begins to shift!
Viper is getting up! But does he have enough time to beat the count?
Viper is scrambling…
ROBERTS JUST ABOUT BEATS THE COUNT!!!!
HOW THE FUCK HAS HE SURVIVED THAT!!!
BUT HERE IS ZERO!!!
PUNK CITY KILLEEER!!!
INTO SNAKE BITE!!!!
Zero slips free…
PUNK CITY KILLEEEEERRRR!!!!
HE GOT IT!!!!!
It was total war between these two in a bout fit for any Championship match but the OSW World Champion prevails!
“DEAL OR NO DEAL?”
With the match over, Zero gets back to his feet, having his OSW World Championship passed back to him by the referee. He slumps against the ropes when the crowd suddenly begin booing.
They’re booing because on the entrance ramp is none other than Simon, with a microphone, about to make his way to the ring.
The Champion readies himself for a fight as The Taskmaster carefully walks up the ring steps and steps through the middle rope.
[ Simon ] “You don’t need to brace yourself for a confrontation, dear Xavier. I haven’t come to fight.”
He steps closer towards the Champion.
[ Simon ] “I’ve come to make a deal.”
Zero looks at him with a raised eyebrow. He doesn’t believe any of it.
[ Simon ] “I can only imagine how desperately you’d like me to divorce your beloved. It must be torture knowing that another man holds her beautiful hand in matrimony.”
The World Champion snatches the microphone.
[ Zero ] “Cut the shit, dickhead.”
The fans cheer.
[ Zero ] “The fuck you want?”
[ Simon ] “Eloquent as ever, I see.”
Zero steps closer, forcing Simon to step back.
[ Simon ] “Relax.”
He says with a smirk.
[ Simon ] “I can give you what you want. I can sign these divorce papers and make all your dreams come true.”
The Taskmaster reaches inside his jacket and pulls out the papers, waving them in Zero’s face.
[ Zero ] “But?”
[ Simon ] “But first, I want to have some fun. You see, what I originally wanted was a match for the OSW World Championship at the crudely named Between F and you.”
[ Zero ] “But The Butcher won’t allow it, will he?”
[ Simon ] “No; some twaddle about The Generation Kid and Ring of Dreams. But what he did say is that if I beat you at that event, I will be the first in line for a title shot after Ring of Dreams!”
[ Zero ] “If all you want is a match, then you got it, bitch. I’mma fuck you up and it’ll be my fuckin’ pleasure.”
[ Simon ] “How delightful. That isn’t all I want, Xavier.”
[ Simon ] “I want to bend you to my will; I want to show the world that you’re not really a Bad Mother you know what. I’m going to make you my puppet and only when I’m satisfied that you’re broken, will I give you Pamela’s divorce.”
The fans are chanting and cheering around them now, the atmosphere and tension ramped up.
They’re yelling at Zero, telling him to “fuck him up”, but the World Champion must be more measured than that.
[ Zero ] “I don’t have that kind of time, Simon.”
The Taskmaster places a hand on his shoulder.
[ Simon ] “You underestimate me, boy.”
Zero shrugs his hand off and gets in his face.
[ Simon ] “Heel, boy. Heel. In fact, let’s show these irritating booing folk just exactly what I’m capable of, shall we?”
That causes the Champion to step back.
[ Simon ] “Here’s how it’s going to work. First, your name is no longer Zero – it’s Dog. Do you understand me? You’ll be introduced as Dog, you’ll wrestle as Dog and you’ll do exactly as I command.”
The Bad Mother Fucker scrunches up his nose.
[ Simon ] “If you don’t, you’ll never make her your bride. Deal or no deal, dog?”
The sheer intensity Simon says that makes Zero skip a breath. He knows exactly what’s on the line here. He slowly nods.
[ Simon ] “Good, now, on your knees dog.”
The fans boo, begging him not to do it – but Zero doesn’t have a choice. He slowly drops to his knees, lowering his head.
[ Simon ] “This is who you vile people celebrate; a no good, rotten, dirty little dog!”
The Taskmaster roars.
[ Simon ] “Come, Dog.”
Zero reluctantly gets back to his feet and exits the ring alongside Simon, who he now apparently obeys. The crowd roar with boos, throwing things into the ring with anger as we take one last look at Simon’s delighted face as they head backstage.