CORVUS & VIPER ROBERTS
Click.
Static covers the screen as a Play ► symbol appears in the bottom right-hand corner.
Earlier.
At home, and back on dry land, Corvus stands in his bedroom. It’s pitch black outside, as Corvus draws the curtains. He notices that his voicemail is blinking red, so The Black Hand hits play.
[ The Butcher ] “Corvus. It’s Colin. At Invasion, you’ll face off against Sandman and Viper Roberts. I just wanted you to hear it first ha-”Corvus hangs up the phone and slumps on the bed, tired. Before he knows it he’s fast asleep.
He’s inside the Snake Pit, but he knows it’s dangerous there so he lurks in the shadows. There are too many of Roberts’ snakes, though, and he’s quickly spotted by a patrolling guard, who tries to grab him. Corvus makes a dash but there are soon five or six of the guards after him.
Trapped, and with little choice, Corvus produces several of his signature daggers seemingly from nowhere and with a swish and a thwack each of the guards gets a throwing dagger straight to the forehead, taking them down instantly in a pool of their own blood. Dead.
But before he can even breathe a sigh of relief someone grabs him from behind.
[ Viper Roberts ] “Guess who…”Viper holds a big knife and slides it across the exposed throat of Corvus.
SLASH!
Gasp.
Corvus sits up straight, drenched in a cold sweat, back in his bedroom once again. It was all a nightmare.
He wipes away his brow, breathing deeply.
It’s not often he finds himself almost dying in a dream.
He drops back head first onto the pillow and takes a deep breath.
Cut.
DEATHNOTE & CHRONOA
Somewhere else.
Hidden away in the shadows, two figures become recognizable straight away.
One, the Harbinger of Fate herself, the Keeper of History…Chronoa.
The other, the Author of Death and God of the New World…Deathnote.
The latter speaks up after a moment of deathly silence.
[ Deathnote ] “Tell me, O keeper of history…how does it feel?”Chronoa is confused by the question, refusing to answer.
[ Deathnote ] “Someone who aims to keep fate in balance. It’s an honorable task, but one that lends itself to deep, dark knowledge. Secrets best left unrevealed…like aligning yourself with forces beyond the scope of understanding. Forces that would even have a Dream Demon quivering in fear.”The look of confusion on Chronoa’s face is replaced with one of worry, realizing the truth in Deathnote’s words…something the Author of Death picks up on with a smirk. This, naturally, only angers Chronoa further.
[ Chronoa ] “Well then, if you’re aware of that then you know all too well that when it comes, everything will end in tears.”The smirk quickly fades from Deathnote’s face, as he considers the gravity of this statement.
[ Deathnote ] “And what of The Impaler? It seems we have an unstable weapon that could be set off at any time…which makes him a problem. The same goes for Vayikra, who are glued to their moral code.” [ Chronoa ] “So what do you want from me?” [ Deathnote ] “An alliance, at least long enough to handle such concerns until Invasion has come and gone.”Chronoa takes just a moment to consider this, before she scoffs at the offer, shaking her head.
[ Chronoa ] “It won’t matter, anyway. This will all end soon…and no one will be free and clear.”Surprisingly, this response does not anger Deathnote…rather, it seems to amuse him.
[ Deathnote ] “Well, then…If we’re not aligning, we’re fighting.”Suddenly, the two vanish from this mysterious place…before reappearing at ringside.
The fight is on!
DEATHNOTE vs. CHRONOA
Deathnote may carry a schedule of every death to come but it is Fate that controls the planes. The Harbinger is here and she’s out to show The Author of Death that our history is inescapable!
Straight outta the traps, Chronoa on the offensive, The Harbinger of Fate with a superman punch…DEJA VU!!! The Reaper’s SHOTGUN BLAST makes a return to The Slaughterhouse! Deathnote may be done here and he’s covered for ONE! TWO! STRONG KICKOUT! Chronoa may tower over the Shinigami but he shows his strength to press the historian off him.
Now Deathnote’s turn, he bounces off the ropes…running lariat…and a big leg drop! The Author of Death is heading to the top rope….KISS OF DEA-NO!!! GOOZLE!!! DEJA VU as Chronoa destroys the Death Scribe with Darklord’s WARLORD’S HAND!!! No cover this time, instead Chronoa goes to the top rope.
It’s time Deathnote needs and he recovers, pulling down the top rope. Chronoa is straddled, Deathnote climbs up…SUPERPLEX!!! The ring shakes with the force. Can Deathnote take advantage? The Shinigami peels The Harbinger off the mat and onto his shoulders….DYING WISH!!! It’s a burning hammer for the ages!!! Deathnote hooks the legs…ONE! TWO! THREE-SHOULDER UP!!! The fate of this match remains unresolved!
Deathnote drags up Chronoa. Is this the moment to TURN THE PAGE…NO! Back elbow from the historian…DEJA VU…NO!!! YOUR FORETOLD DESTINY ducked by Deathnote and this time he does TURN THE PAGE on history, followed by a cover for ONE! TWO! THREEEE!!!
History is written by the winners and Deathnote proves the adage tonight!
THE GENERATION KID, TAG, WIZ, & ZERO
Smoke billows down the hallways of the Slaughterhouse.
No, it ain’t a fire, but The Generation Kid is on the case. With his trusty hoverboard tucked under his arm, TGK is following the smoke signals to their source, but it should come as no surprise as to who he finds.
Tag and Wiz. Puffing on a freshly rolled joint.
[ Wiz ] “Been a while since I had BK, Tag baby.”The Pelican passes the stick to Tag, who gets his first puff before noticing the Kid. TGK approaches them with a wary gaze.
[ The Generation Kid ] “I’m no Spicoli, and Michaelangelo said that it’s not cool to do drugs…”The Jet Set pair look at each other with confused expressions.
[ Tag ] “What the fuck are you…” [ Wiz ] “Is that a fucking hoverboard?”Wiz practically leaps at TGK, who recoils as the Sultan of Funk snatches his board. He examines it, turning it over and over, before looking back up at TGK.
[ Wiz ] “How’s this fly, daddio?”Tag rolls his eyes, stepping in.
[ Tag ] “It doesn’t. It’s from Back to the Future. It doesn’t do shit.”He eyeballs TGK for a moment, while Wiz just looks confused.
[ Tag ] “But it’ll look real good next to my board. Almost as good as that Rewind title would.”TGK grabs his hoverboard back, almost using it to shield his title belt. He tries to walk away, but Tag quickly steps in front of him.
[ Tag ] “How bout it, Kid? You ready to get tagged and…” [ Wiz ] “How does someone go back to the future? Shouldn’t it be forward to the future?”Tag and TGK both turn to Wiz with confused expressions on their face. Before either can say anything, Wiz’s ears perk up.
[ Wiz ] “Zero’s coming. We better bolt, ya dig?”Tag shoves the joint in TGK’s hand, and the Jet Set pair get the fuck out of dodge just as none other than Zero comes round the corner. He looks pissed as hell as he lays eyes on TGK standing there with the joint. He snatches it away, taking a drag as TGK just points down the hall.
[ Zero ] “Stay away from those guys or you’re going to get hurt real fucking bad.”The Hacker takes off in the direction JSR ran off in, leaving a very timid TGK all alone.
He even took the joint.
Cut.
VIGOUR vs. PYRE
The Prince of the Party takes on the infamous Fire Bitch of the Bad Mother Fuckers. Will Vigour blow out Pyre’s candle or will ashes be All That Remains at the end of the rainbow?
Vigour is out of the blocks like an Olympic sprinter…leg lariat reverse bulldog. EAT THAT BITCH!!! Expression Incarnate rebounds off the ropes…rolling thunder!!! On to the top ropes, here comes a SPLASH OF COLOUR!!! NO!!! Knees up from Pyre and a stiff boot to the ribs as a follow-up.
Vigour stumbles back into a corner, handspring into a headscissors takedown from the Queen of Flames. She leaps on to the top rope…DANCING FLAMES….COUNTERED….CODEBREAKER FROM VIGOUR!!! Cover for ONE! TWO! KICKOUT!!! The Prince of the Party peels Pyre off the mat, off the ropes he’s looking for a running bulldog but Pyre counters with a drop toe hold…into THE AWAKENING!!!
The Queen Flames has The Jack of All Senses locked in good, he can feel the burn through all five mediums of sensory input and all that remains is for Vigour to tap out. But he didn’t escape an emotionless world to AVOID feeling. The pain only inspires The Prince of the Party and he forces himself back to a standing position…somehow….some way!
Vigour runs towards the corner and tosses Pyre into the turnbuckle. However, she lands on the top rope and flips into DANCING FLAMES!!! Vigour is spent and Pyre hooks the legs for ONE….TWO…..THREEE!!!
Pyre’s flame burns brighter than a rainbow tonight!
MORDECAI & SIGIL
A few days ago.
We see Mordecai relaxing at home, it’s just him and a book this fine evening.
There’s a knock on the door.
Mordecai visibly annoyed, puts down the book and marches towards the door. He was not expecting anyone today.
Mordecai opens the door.
[ Mordecai ]“Hello!”He sees its Sigil.
[ Mordecai ]“Oh, it’s you. What are you doing here?” [ Sigil ] “Don’t look so happy to see me, just be happy I knocked. I could have just teleported right in and forced you to listen to me.”Mordecai sighs.
[ Mordecai ]“You’re right but that doesn’t answer my question. Why are you here?” [ Sigil ] “Ever hear the phrase the enemy of my enemy is my friend?” [ Mordecai ] “Who hasn’t? Continue.” [ Sigil ] “Well as you know, we’re in a number one contender’s match with a man who’s mad at the world and another who’s just mad. Maybe we can change their demeanor or have them drive into it by altering their subconscious mind.” [ Mordecai ] “You want me to change their dreams and potentially personality to win an opportunity at a title, not even the title itself?” [ Sigil ] “Well, when you say it like that, it sounds rather reductive.” [ Mordecai ] “Good, I meant it to, it’s not worth it.” [ Sigil ] “How can I make it worth it?” [ Mordecai ] “You’re a collector, figure something out.” [ Sigil ] “I’ll let you choose anything from the collector’s den outside of the stones.” [ Mordecai ] “Now we’re talking. If you get them to go to sleep when they’re not supposed to, I’ll have freer reign. Force them to sleep, got it?”Sigil nods.
[ Sigil ] “Yeah, I got it. Anything else?” [ Mordecai ] “What do you want them to dream about?”Sigil explains what he wants to happen in their dreams with Mordecai nodding.
[ Mordecai ] “I can work with that, just make them go to sleep sooner rather than later.” [ Sigil ] “Understood, thank you again.”Mordecai nods and Sigil leaves.
Mordecai goes back to his book.
Cut.
PYRE, ZERO, VIGOUR, & THE GENERATION KID
Smoke. More smoke.
It’s from the same source though, as we find that same joint almost depleted between the lips of Zero. He and Pyre, fresh off her match, are sat on a pair of folding chairs, heads down as they puff, puff, pass in silence.
They lost one of their own, and there’s nothing but grief and anger in the air.
No words can fix that.
Knock. Knock.
The sound at their locker room door causes them both to stand up. They’re already on edge after the events of Bad Attitude.
[ Pyre ] “Jet Set wouldn’t knock.”Zero tosses the joint away, flexing his cybernetic arm.
[ Zero ] “Your hubby would.”The door opens, and both of the Bad Mother Fuckers step up ready for a fight. But all that’s stood before them is an alert Vigour and a very tense Generation Kid.
[ Zero ] “Goddamn it, Kid. You again?”Vigour steps between Zero and TGK.
[ Vigour ] “Listen, we’re not here to fight.”The Kid clears his throat, pushing past Zero to stand face to face with him.
[ The Generation Kid ] “Thanks for earlier. Those two had bad intentions for me. But Vigour is right, we didn’t come here to pick a fight. Or even really to thank you.”The tension seems to lessen between the foursome, with Pyre stepping up beside Zero.
[ Pyre ] “Then why are you here?”Vigour steps up to match Pyre.
[ Vigour ] “We’re sorry about Shaw. Me, Kid, and even Starboy. So if it’s alright with you guys, the Rainbow Party would like to pay our respects at the funeral.”Zero and Pyre exchange a glance.
[ Zero ] “Maybe it’s cause I just got a good high, but if you shit magnets want to show up and pay respects, I’ll be glad to see you.”Nodding her agreement, Pyre adds her two sense.
[ Pyre ] “But if you guys fuck this up, then your little party is going to be shut down. Got it?”Vigour nods, with a smirk and a gleam in his eye, while TGK offers an earnest nod of his own. They leave Pyre and Zero alone, who just look at each other and sit back down.
Silently grieving their fallen brother.
HOLLYWOOD LUKE STORM vs. SEESAW vs. THE IMPALER vs. BANZAN
Four forces of nature clash in this one fall to the finish bout. Can Luke Storm’s tempest rage, or will The Mountain stand against the elements? Can SeeSaw turn make believe into fact or will The Impaler turn The Slaughterhouse into another Night City?
SeeSaw attacks Banzan….SPEAR!!! SPINEBUSTER!!!! SUPERFINE TURBO BLAST!!!! SEESAW JUST TOPPLED A MOUNTAIN!!! But there’s no time to celebrate because The Impaler is on the attack…ADAM SMASHER!!! Hollywood is hanging off the ropes, he looks like easy meat. Legion charges in…LIGHTNING STRIKE!!!! Monumental effort by Storm.
Luke is going up top. If you look to the skies in a storm, after the lightning comes THUNDER!!! Moonsault lands right on top of SeeSaw. Legs hooked…ONE…TWO…SAVED!!! The Impaler intervenes. Legion hoists up Storm..Arn Anderson spinebuster!!! The Impaler is looking for NIGHT CITY BLACKOUT… But Banzan grabs him from behind...DUKKHA….The Saito Suplex drills Legion.
Here comes SeeSaw….TIGER CLAW!!! The Mountain erupts like a volcano. SeeSaw is on the ropes, Banzan like an ominous lava flow bears down on The Cackling Madcap….DOWNFALL!!!! Luke Storm intervenes with a codebreaker outta nowhere!!!! There are bodies everywhere!!! And SeeSaw wants to take advantage…
FLIGHT OF THE ORNITHOPERN!!! MISSES!!! Mr Make Believe rolls away clutching his ribs. Banzan steams in…MAGGA!!! SeeSaw is out cold from that knee strike!!! BLACK MIST TO BANZAN!!!! NO!!! The Mountain ducked and The Impaler blinds Hollywood Luke Storm. Banzan smothers Legion…SAMUDAYA!!! The triangle choke does for The Impaler who has to TAP OUT!!!
The Mountain stands tall tonight!
SIGIL, SEESAW, & IMPALER
What a match!
The crowd roars their appreciation as Banzan and Luke Storm make their way to the back.
The cheers quickly turn into boos as Sigil slides into the ring with a chair in hand!
Massive chair shot to the back of Impaler’s head!
SeeSaw turns around after hearing the blow!
He’s keeping some distance just looking for a moment to strike!
Sigil doesn’t give him the moment as he chucks the chair straight at SeeSaw!
SeeSaw blocks it and bends down to grab it real quick!
Sigil smirks like this was his plan.
Sigil leaps!
Curb stomp on the chair!
Impaler is pulling himself up but Sigil sprints over there!
Punt to the skull!
Sigil is proud of his handiwork, but he’s not finished! He pulls a needle out of his pocket and jams it into Impaler’s carotid artery. He’s injecting him with some sort of serum! Impaler is fading quickly!
He’s out cold!
SeeSaw is back to his feet with the chair!
He swings it at Sigil!
Sigil drops to a knee to avoid the swing!
Low Blow!
SeeSaw teeter totters are crumbled, and he crumbles with them!
Sigil pulls out another needle and injects SeeSaw with the same serum!
He’s out cold!
[ Sigil ] “Hope you guys have as much fun in your dreams as I just did.”He taps them on their foreheads.
[ Sigil ] “Good night… you’re in Mordecai’s hands now.”Cut.
TENCHU vs. THE GENERATION KID ©
The martial artist pulls him up onto his shoulders. LETHAL—NO! That 80s Kid jumps down, avoiding the Death Valley driver. He kicks the back of the ninja’s knee, cutting him down to size, then hits a sketchy bulldog! Climbing the middle rope, he waits for the robot to stand… Double axe handle – THE BREAKFAST CLUB! He pins him. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT!
TGK appears to have a eureka moment. He stands on one foot, raising his arms in a crane stance! Tenchu slowly turns round… THE KARATE KI—BLOCKED! The Metal Shadow sweeps the leg! He backs into the corner, biding his time… Busaiku knee – THE HIDDEN BLADE strikes! He hooks the leg. ONE… TWO… SHOULDER UP!
The 6’7” Tenchu looms over his downed foe. He almost seems to laugh as TGK claws his way up his body… “NOBODY CALLS ME YELLOW!” He bellows – BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX! He collapses on top of him. ONE… TWO… SHOULDER UP! The challenger shoves the Champion off of him. They get to their feet… Inside cradle – THE TRANSFORMERS! ONE… TWO… THREE!
The Generation Kid retains the Rewind Championship!
KAINE KNIGHTORD AND TENCHU
Tenchu is knelt in front of a makeshift Odawara shrine, eyes closed honouring the ancestors he has long since outlived.
[???] “All that time on your knees, and you’re told that you have disrespected their memories.”Tenchu whips around, quickly drawing his sword and putting it to the neck of his intruder.
Kaine Knightlord
The Dark Detective doesn’t flinch at the threatening gesture.
[ Tenchu ] “What do you want? Figured Banzan put you in your place at Bad Attitude.”A sly grin creeps across the Vampire’s face.
[ Kaine Knightlord ] “I have information for you. I’ve been watching you for a while, as I’m sure Banzan has told you. I’ve heard what he’s said; that you’ve disrespected Odawara.” [ Tenchu ] “And he is right. I have broken their laws.”Kaine presents a folder.
[ Tenchu ] “What’s this?” [ Kaine Knightlord ] “Evidence. He says you’ve broken laws, training you to be better. Meanwhile his hands are drenched in blood.”Tenchu throws the folder back at Knightlord.
[ Tenchu ] “Why should I believe you? You’re a vampire. Seems like you’re just trying to divide us.”Kaine picks up the folder, placing it on a chair.
[ Kaine Knightlord ] “That’s fine. I’ll leave this here. I’m just looking for justice, and you’re being lied to by the man who claims to know better.”Kaine straightens out his coat and walks out of the locker room. Outside Lucy is waiting.
[ Kaine Knightlord ] “I’ll deal with Tenchu. Banzan is yours. Do with him as you please.” [ Lucy Serephina ] “This will be fun. Any rules?”Kaine shakes his head as he walks away.
[ Kaine Knightlord ] “Just don’t kill him.”Lucy smiles as she goes off in her own direction.
Cut
SANCTUS BELLATOR, SIMON & LUKE STORM
Sir Bellator walks through the streets of New York, the VHS title belt slung over his shoulder. He arrives at the steps of a chapel, looking to enter when the door slowly creeps open.
Simon.
The Taskmaster gives a wry smirk to Sanctus as he steps out of the church, the templar stopping his tracks.
[ Simon ] “Sanctus.” [ Sir Bellator ] “Simon.”The two share a pregnant pause as Simon steps out into the moonlight.
[ Simon ] “If I am to understand correctly, you and your ilk are on a… crusade against the morally corrupt, correct?”Bellator nods his head, not letting down his guard for a moment.
[ Sir Bellator ] “Are you here to offer up Jet Set Radio for their lustful, gluttonous ways?”The Taskmaster merely chuckles, shaking his head.
[ Simon ] “Oh, not at all. No, I’m here to offer up a much more egregious target. Someone who partakes in pride, wrath, lust, even envy. A paragon of sin that I’m certain you would love to get your hands on.”Sir Bellator adjusts his footing, looking over either shoulder before facing Simon, walking towards him.
[ Sir Bellator ] “And who would that be? More importantly, why would you want to hand such a sinner over to me?” [ Simon ] “Oh, I hand him over because he’s as much a thorn in my side as he is one in yours, Mr. Bellator.” [ Sir Bellator ] “Sir Bellator.” [ Simon ] “Of course, Sir Bellator. Getting rid of him would help both of us. I’m sure you don’t wish to trust me, and once he’s gone you and I can battle out our frustrations ourselves. It would only be fair, hm?”Sanctus looks conflicted for a moment before nodding his head.
[ Sir Bellator ] “Fine. Tell me more about this paragon of sin.” [ Simon ] “Of course. His name… is Luke Storm. And I’m more than happy to tell you more about his wicked ways.”Simon backs into the chapel as Sir Bellator follows. However, as the doors close the camera shifts, peering into an alleyway where the glowing red glint of a cigarette burns. A familiar voice speaks from the shadows, his voice filled with hate.
[ Hollywood Luke Storm ] “Go ahead. Make a deal with the devil, Sanctus. You’re just another name on my list if you do.”Cut.
KAINE KNIGHTLORD vs. VIPER ROBERTS ©
Stomping him with his snakeskin boots, he unfastens his scaly belt. He’s going to TAN THE—DENIED! Nightscream SLICES THE BELT with his bat-shaped blade! Viper’s going to have to send his Snakes shopping for a new one! He charges at the challenger… Monkey flip! Knightlord yanks him up. Pumphandle brainbuster to the knee – BLOOD DRIVER! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT!
Bloodlust not yet sated, Kaine sinks his fangs into The Head Snake’s, well, forehead – JUST A BITE! He lets the Champion crawl to his feet. Ripcord clothesline… Northern lari—NO! Roberts DAMS THE BLOODY STREAM! Kick to the gut… DDT – ODE TO THE SNAKE! That looked like it killed him! ONE… TWO… SHOULDER UP!
Roberts coils in the corner, waiting to strike… SNAKEBI—CRIMSON VOW! Kaine sandbags the wraparound neckbreaker, pulling Viper into the gogoplata! Roberts thrashes desperately. WILL THE CHAMPION SUBMIT!? SNAKE OIL! The venomous mist burns Shadow Bat’s eyes; Knightlord breaks the hold. They get to their feet… SNAKEBITE – Viper hits the neckbreaker! ONE… TWO… THREE!
Viper Roberts retains the OSW World Championship!
STARBOY & SIR GABLE
In the vicinity of Hell’s Kitchen there are many clubs.
In the vicinity of one of these clubs, there is a particular VIP room.
And tonight, within that very VIP room, is STARBOY… but he’s not alone.
A collection of scantily clad men of all shapes and sizes stand against a wall as the Lover of All addresses them, a whip in his hands.
[ Starboy] “You don’t need to hide who you are. Embrace who you were meant to be.”STARBOY cracks the whip in the air, playfully.
[ Starboy] “Years of feeling repressed, let them go. You’re here so that you can look upon each other, without judgement. Have fun, gentlemen, be who you are for once…”Hesitant looks from STARBOY’s clientele, but slowly, some of the more outgoing of the group begin to make some gentle advances upon other members.
That is… until a voice booms out over the party.
“Everyone who is arrogant in heart is an abomination to the Lord. Be assured, he will not go unpunished…”
The dim lights of the party are abruptly cast into brightness as Sir Gable makes his presence felt, entering through the door to the VIP room and hitting the lights.
[ Sir Gable ] “Proverbs 16:5… And this, is an abomination.”STARBOY turns to meet Sir Gable. A mixture of rage and offense on his face. He stands guard between the Zealot and his clients.
[ Starboy] “I am trying to show these beautiful folk what they have been searching for in their lives. They approach me because they feel the same way. They’re not living their true selves. I’m merely showing them the way.” [ Sir Gable ] “There is but one way, and it hides not in the shadows. The very air you breathe is an offense to the Lord. You and your little Sodom and Gomorrah here… and it will not go unpunished.”STARBOY stands their ground.
[ Starboy] “You think you operate some moral high ground but speak out of fear and hatred. You don’t scare me, you’re just like the rest of those homophobic religious fuckwits.”Sir Gable holds up a single finger, pointing it around the room in accusation.
[ Sir Gable ] “You have been warned.”Cut.
VAYIKRA vs. JET SET RADIO
Two stables that have unleashed complete chaos on The Slaughterhouse since their arrival at the start of the season. The religious zealots of Vayikra are as depraved and brutal as their Middle Age dogma, while Jet Set Radio got blood on their hands last week with the death of Albert Shaw. This will be war, but who will come out victorious and how much will collateral damage will be caused?
Sir Gable starts for Vayikra, there is some discussion on the outside among Jet Set Radio before Tag steps through the ropes. Gable is looking to engage in some chain wrestling but that isn’t Tag’s rodeo. He throws his skateboard at Gable then uses the distraction to topple the former Olympian with a baseball slide.
Tag hits the ropes and lands on Gable with a running front flip splash, flipping onto his feet and giving Gable the “tosser” taunt before tagging in Wiz. The Purple Pelican is straight onto the top rope…
CROSS BODY!
SIR GABLE CATCHES HIM IN FLIGHT…
BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX!!!
Wiz is thrown into the Vayikra corner. As he gets to his feet, he’s pinned against the turnbuckle by Sir Renault and Sir Bellator. Gable charging in…
GOLD RUSH!!!
CORNER SPEAR!!!
Gable felt some of that too so slaps the hands of Sir Renault. The Last Templar slices into the flesh of Wiz with repeated knife edge chops to the chest. An arm drag tosses The Purple Pelican out of the corner, Renault rebounding off the ropes and connecting with a sliding elbow smash. Cover…
ONE!
.
.
TWO!
.
.
KICKOUT!
Sir Renault tags in Sir Bellator, lifting the Jet Setter, Bellator flies from the top turnbuckle to deliver a backbreaker / TERRA TREMUIT double team. The Warrior of Light covers…
ONE!
.
.
TWO!
.
.
ETHER SAVES THE DAY!
The Hungry Girl is desperate for her pound of flesh but the ref pushes her back to her corner, allowing all three members of Vayikra to lay a sly beatdown on Wiz. Ether tries to tell the official but he’s not listening, ordering her back to the corner.
Tag decides he’ll use the same play book, using Ether’s distraction to slide into the ring…and he’s got an equaliser!!!
CASSANDRA!!!
SKATEBOARD TO THE SKULL OF SIR GABLE!!!
TRUCK FUCKED!!!!
SKATEBOARD TO THE GUT OF SIR BELLATOR!!!
AND McTWIST ONTO THE DECK!!!!
Sir Renault tries to blindside Tag…
FIVE STAR FACIAL!!!
BICYCLE KICK TO RENAULT!!!!
TAG HAS LAID WASTE TO ALL OF VAYIKRA!!!
Ether now retreats to her corner, joined by Tag. Sir Gable and Sir Renault have rolled out of the ring, leaving Wiz and Sir Bellator. The Purple Pelican is pulling himself to a vertical base using the ropes and climbs to the top turnbuckle…
ELECTRIC FREEBIRD!!!
SLOPPY SENTON BOMB!!!
CONNECTS!!!
Wiz hooks the legs….
ONE!
.
.
.
.
TWO!
.
.
.
THREE-
.
.
.
NOT QUITE!!!!
SHOULDER UP!!!!
Wiz, who had withstood so much punishment, was close to pulling it off for his team!
Now it’s a race to see who can make a tag first. Wiz and Bellator edge, inch by inch, towards their respective corners.
SIMULTANEOUS TAG!!!
ETHER AND SIR RENAULT ARE IN!!!
The Hungry Girl has the edge thanks to her skates and drops Darth Jesus with a shoulder barge, then a running headbutt to Sir Gable to knock him off the apron.
Renault is on his feet, ham hock slaps to his torso, Ether is tenderising Renault like a veal steak! Irish whip into a corner, Ether looking for a corner splash…
…forward roll by The Last Crusader.
GERMAN SUPLEX FROM RENAULT!
FOLLOWED BY A HALF NELSON SUPLEX!
THE HOLY TRINITY COMPLETED WITH A DRAGON SUPLEX!!!
BRIDGE FOR A PIN…
ONE!
.
.
.
TWO!
.
.
.
TAG INTERVENES!!!
Renault gets to his feet, Tag has something in his hand…
MONEY SHOT!!!
NO!!!
Sir Renault ducks the spray and locks Tag into a crucifix submission!!!
PENTANGLE!!!!
BUT WHICH VARIATION!!!!
CHASTITY!!!!
IT’S A CHOKE!!!!
TAG IS BEING BLUE-BALLED!!!!
AND HE’S OUT COLD!!!!
Sir Renault releases a floppy Tag, spotting Ether getting to her feet. Darth Jesus tries to grab Bad Random in the crucifix but she spins out and drops to the mat.
FUK YA FACE!!!!
INVERTED FOOT STOMP FACEBREAKER!!!
Ether tags in Wiz. The Sultan of Funk hops on to the top rope. Are we about to see another…
ELECTRIC FREEBIRD?
NOOOOO!!!!
SIR GABLE PULLS DOWN THE TOP ROPE!!!
WIZ IS STRADDLED!!!
Ether charges the Olympian.
GOLD RUSH!!!!
SHE IS SPEARED OUT OF HER SKATES AND THROUGH THE ROPES!!!!
Sir Bellator joins Wiz on the ropes, they are standing on the top rope, The Templar in control.
IMPERTIO!!!
FROM THE TOP TURNBUCKLE!!!
HOLY SHIT!!!
SIR BELLATOR WITH THE MOONSAULT SIDE SLAM OFF THE TOP!!!!
The official has lost all sense of control here. Who is even the legal partners in this one? Wiz and Tag are laid out in the ring. Sir Bellator is in a corner clutching his sides. Sir Gable and Ether are broken on the outside.
Just Sir Renault is standing.
And Sir Vant is sliding something into the ring.
Sir Renault lifts it up.
A rope?
Tag is up, barely.
He’s using a turnbuckle to get to his feet but Sir Renault is on him.
He’s using the rope to bind a weary Tag to the turnbuckle.
Sir Vant slides something else in and climbs on to the apron to distract the official.
Sir Renault picks up the article from Sir Vant.
It’s a birch whip!!!
Part of the Arma Christi!!!
Sir Renault rips away Tag’s body clothing, exposing his naked back.
Sir Renault is going to flagellate Sexy Dynamite!!!
BUT HERE’S WIZ!!!
TAPDANCE FUNK!!!
ENZIGURI FROM BEHIND!!!
NO!!!
SIR RENAULT DUCKS!!!
PENTANGLE!!!!
PINFALL FOR PIETY!!!
ONE!
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TWO!!
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THREE!!!!!
Vayikra find divine intervention to claim victory over Jet Set Radio!!!!
bMf, THE RAINBOW PARTY, VAYIKRA, SIMON & JET SET RADIO
Sometime later.
A church.
In a secluded cemetery, a church should be filling with people who knew Albert Shaw – but it isn’t. He lived a life working for the highest bidder and friends weren’t a commodity he could afford.
Instead, Pyre, Zero and Luke Storm sit on individual pews, all to themselves. They’re dotted throughout the church, and when the large doors at the back open, it’s The Rainbow Party.
As requested earlier, they’re here to pay their respects.
They take a seat on a pew well at the back, making sure to keep themselves to themselves among the grieving Bad Mother Fuckers.
At the front of the church, a closed casket sits on a large stand, housing the body of The Guv’nor.
They’re waiting for the priest to begin the service.
[ Zero ] “Where the fuck is he?”Zero impatiently demands to know. Pyre shoots him a look and he nods, calming himself down.
The Priest then arrives, wearing a hood that covers his face.
[ The Priest ] “We’re gathered here today to celebrate the life of Albert Shaw. Please join me in a prayer.”Everyone lowers their heads.
[ The Priest ] “May you always walk in hell, and Devil’s around you flow. For the misery you gave us, everyone will forever know. It made us smile to lose you, but you did not go alone.”With these words, everyone suddenly turns their attention to the altar in which The Priest stands, his face now visible for the world to see.
Sir Renault.
[ Sir Renault ] “May you take your friends with you.”bMf suddenly jump up and just as they do, the doors to the church fly open.
It’s Jet Set Radio.
Sir Bellator and Cael Gable join Sir Renault from behind.
Oh my God.
What the fuck is this?
The Rainbow Party immediately attack Jet Set Radio before they can enter the church, all three members taking the fight to Tag, Ether and Wiz.
Luke Storm has Sir Bellator up against a pew, slamming his head violently into the wood.
Zero is being strangled by Sir Gable, who has a rope wrapped around his neck.
Pyre on the other hand has tackled Sir Renault at the altar and finds herself slamming him with right and left hands.
Ether though comes from behind with a bible, slamming it into the back of Pyre’s head, sending a splatter of blood off in the direction of the casket.
Luke Storm quickly comes to her aide, only Sir Bellator grabs him, spinning him around and running him straight through the fucking wooden altar. As wood splinters everywhere, Bellator violently snaps a piece of wood off and goes to work, slamming it across Storm’s back.
The Generation Kid realizes that Tag and Wiz are double teaming Zero, simultaneously strangling and punching him. He runs, leaps across a pew…
Then another…
He steps across multiple pews with agility, leaping straight onto both Tag and Wiz, sending them both tumbling to the floor!
Starboy quickly notices and begins running towards them…
CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL BY SIR GABLE! THAT TURNS STARBOY INSIDE FUCKING OUT!
Vigour suddenly attacks him from behind with a wooden chair, breaking it across his back. He storms down the aisle, picking up whatever he can put his hands on.
BIBLE TO THE HEAD OF SIR RENAULT.
Ether leaps at him from the stage, only he catches her, slamming her down into a set of pews.
This is fucking carnage.
There’s blood everywhere.
There’s violence everywhere.
There’re bodies strewn around this entire church.
And then appears Simon – right when everyone else is laid out. He stands now at the broken altar, looking over Luke Storm, who’s bloodied and beaten. In his hand, a large golden metal cross.
[ Simon ] “I liked Albert Shaw; he had moxy.” [ Hollywood Luke Storm ] “This is his kind of funeral.”Luke replies, softly and pained.
Simon smiles.
WHACK! METAL CROSS TO THE FUCKING HEAD OF LUKE STORM!
JESUS GOD DAMN CHRIST!
The Taskmaster lays him out, knocking him out cold with everyone else.
At Invasion, Sir Bellator defends his VHS Championship against Luke Storm and Simon.
Starboy and Sir Gable wage war.
Pyre, Vigour, Ether and Sir Renault battle for the InVasion briefcase.
And The Generation Kid defends his Rewind Championship against Zero, who’s life he may have saved, Tag and Wiz.
But tonight, there’s absolute chaos at the funeral of Albie Shaw.
The Taskmaster steps away from the carnage to grab a gasoline canister, pouring gasoline over the coffin of Shaw.
With no-one to stop him, he whistles confidently, pulling a lighter from his pocket..
AND SETTING IT ABLAZE!
SIMON SETS THE COFFIN OF ALBIE SHAW ON GOD DAMN FIRE! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SICK PRICK THINKING!?
The fire rages, immediately latching onto the drapes as smoke begins to fill the room. Simon makes a b-line for the exit, gathering Tag, Wiz and Ether, whilst leaving everyone else behind…
To burn and die.
Cut.