THE GENERATION KID, STARBOY & VIGOUR
Static covers the screen as a Play ► symbol appears in the bottom right-hand corner.
We’re backstage, watching the back-alley entrance door when it slowly and meekly opens. A head pops in through the gap, unsure if they’re in the right place. It belongs to The Generation Kid, who eventually finds the courage to open the door fully and step inside.
The Rewind Champion thinks he’s clear for quiet entry and carefully starts walking down the hall when the screeching voice of someone unfamiliar halts him.
[ Starboy] “Cooey, wait up Champ, wait up!”
The Generation Kid stops to see both Starboy and Vigour walking in his direction.
[ Vigour ] “Congrats on the big win, you must be on top of the world.”
[ The Generation Kid ] “Actually, I’m not really sure that I belong-“
Starboy cuts him off.
[ Starboy] “Nevermind that. We saw what you did out there and it’s clear that to survive in a place like this, newbies like us need to stick together.”
[ Vigour ] “And we both want shots at your title.”
Starboy looks at Vigour, who shrugs.
[ Starboy] “That’s true, but we still want to be friends.”
The Rewind Champion looks understandably awkward and put on the spot. He isn’t sure what to do, but one thing is for sure, he’d definitely appreciate some friends around here.
[ The Generation Kid ] “Okay.“
He says quietly.
[ The Generation Kid ] “I mean, I could use some friendly faces. This place is beyond scary.“
[ Vigour ] “Attaboy. Now, we’ve thrown you a little shindig – a party of sorts, to celebrate your title win.”
[ Starboy] “There’s girls, boys, non-binary – whatever takes your fancy. There’s lots of booze and loaaaads of drugs.”
[ The Generation Kid ] “Uh, um..“
[ Starboy] “Come on, let’s go. That party isn’t gonna drink, snort and fuck itself!”
Starboy puts his arm around The Generation Kid and both of them head off towards the party. Vigour meanwhile is left behind, shaking his head.
[ Vigour ] “Sex, drugs and booze, really? I’d be surprised if this kid drunk pop and took painkillers.”
LUCY SERAPHINA vs. KAINE KNIGHTLORD
Will the Angelic Assassin take down the Dark Detective as her first target in OSW?
The bell rings and the two competitors tie up. Knightlord twists Seraphina’s arm and locks it behind her. Kaine transitions into an abdominal stretch and leans into Lucy “Welcome to OSW, milady…” he says seductively— JUST A BITE!! The vampire just bit Lucy’s fucking forehead. In response, Lucy elbows Kaine in the nose, and now both of them are bloody messes!
Kaine in a fit of rage yanks Lucy’s arm between her legs and used his power to lift her up—BLOOD DRIVER!! Lucy’s head lands hard on Kaine’s knee before she crashes to the mat. Kaine covers— ONE! TWO!! NO!! Lucy knees Kaine in the head, knocking him off her. Both competitors back to their feet, Knightlord aggressively steps toward Seraphina but the OSW newcomer boots him right in the face, knocking him back through the ropes onto the apron!
Kaine pulls himself up on the ropes— SLAP!! Lucy just slapped the shit out of him!! Lucy wastes no time and uses her speed to stay on the offensive, entangling herself over Kaine on the ropes— MALICE’S BITE!! The ref counts to four before Lucy is forced to relinquish her submission. Shadow Bat is short of breath. He charges and swings wildly at Luce, who ducks! She reaches back and pulls Kaine’s hair…
But his hair is too short for her to successfully pull off the back breaker! Kaine knees Lucy in the gut and grabs her arms from behind—he spins—NIGHT RAID!! Kaine covers and the ref counts— ONE! … TWO!! …THREE!!!
Nightscream has proven too loud for the Sovereign of Silence on this night, flipping the killswitch and picking up the victory!
BAD MOTHER FUCKERS
Hell’s Mouth Maximum Security Prison.
The newest prison in NYC has three esteemed visitors. Or rather, three Bad Mother Fuckers, looking rather dapper in some business casual attire.
They’re being led down a dingy hallway by a female Corrections Officer. Zero turns to Albert Shaw as they walk.
[ Zero ] “No place like home, is there?”
[ Albert Shaw ] “They make little metal fingers wherever you got that arm, mate?”
Hollywood Luke Storm rolls his eyes and steps up to walk beside the C.O.
[ Hollywood Luke Storm ] “Care to tell us why our friend was brought to this place?”
Zero and Shaw join them.
[ Zero ] “Or why this place even exists?”
The officer frowns.
[ Officer ] “There’s an awful lot of enhanced people walking around the city right now. Not to mention the zombie apocalypse last year. We need a place to keep them.”
They round the corner to an open room. Cells line the room, each one very different, but the thing they immediately notice is one tinged in a pale blue color.
Pyre is inside, and Hell’s Mouth has done everything they can to minimize her powers. Her body is covered in in soaked cloth. Water is being funneled into the room at a rapid rate, each time bursting out of a random sprinkler somewhere in the room. They somehow always hit her.
[ Zero ] “What the fuck?”
He goes up to the glass, but stops when he sees the Officer has cautiously drawn her sidearm. Storm, who has turned pale at the damn near water torture going on to their friend, walks over to Zero.
[ Hollywood Luke Storm ] “You know if we break her out, they’ll come get her. We need to hit them at the source.”
They’re joined by Albie.
[ Albert Shaw ] “Even the shithole I was in wouldn’t do this to someone. Let’s find the Jet Set Cunts and end them.”
Zero nods his affirmation, never taking his eyes off of Pyre.
[ Zero ] “They like to run in a pack, so we pick ‘em off one by one.”
[ Hollywood Luke Storm ] “Do we need a plan of attack?”
[ Albert Shaw ] “I’ve always got a plan, mate.”
Zero raises an eyebrow as Storm nods.
[ Albert Shaw ] “Attack.”
All three men smile.
They’re on the same page now.
Jet Set Radio is about to be paid a visit by some Bad Mother Fuckers.
SIMON, PHINEAS MOODY & BANZAN vs. ZERO, LUKE STORM & ALBIE SHAW
The Bad Motherfuckers announced a new recruit at Wrestle Heroes and tonight they team up against three of OSW’s finest.
We cut straight to the ring where Bad Motherfuckers are opening a can of whoop ass on their opponents. The band of feral dogs are taking some big bites of their prey. Simon is propped against the ropes…DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE!!! Shaw and Zero send The Taskmaster out of the ring. Banzan is next. LIGHTNING STRIKE!!! IN STERO!!! Zero and Storm flatten the mountain.
Albie Shaw lifts and restrains Phineas Moody. Zero and Storm move in. But like a fart on the wind, Moody disappears. AND RE-APPEARS BEHIND ZERO AND STORM!!! Carnevil slams the heads of those Bad Motherfuckers together and BEARDED LADY KISS to Shaw!!!! The Guv’nor falls through the ropes with the force. Moody tags in Banzan.
The Mountain erupts…MAGGA!!! Zero rolle out of the ring on impact. Banzan wraps Storm….DUKKHA!!! The Mountain folds the VHS Champion in half! Banzan covers…ONE! TWO! Storm kicks out! Banzan tags in Simon, who immediately looks for CHECKMATE! Here come Zero and Shaw with the iinterference.
GAMBIT!!! Spinning backfist from The Taskmaster to Shaw….SIMONPLEX!!! Zero is put down. The distraction gives Luke Storm is opening…DOWNFALL!!! Now Moody and Banzan intervene….PUNK CITY KILLER and GBH see to them as Storm nails GALE FORCE and covers for ONE! TWO! THREE!
The Bad Motherfuckers start 2022 with a big ol’ bang!
KAINE KNIGHTLORD & MORDECAI
We’re in Kaine Knightlord’s crypt and he is pacing back and forth. For someone with all the time in the world, he has grown impatient.
“Where is he?”
There’s a knock on the door.
Knightlord’s eyes grow wide open and rushes to the door.
He opens it quickly and it’s Mordecai!
[ Kaine Knightlord ] “Surprised you came.”
[ Mordecai ] “Well luckily for you, vampires don’t dream after turning so you’ve accrued some time, now what do you need?”
[ Kaine Knightlord ] “I want that to change, I want to dream like these humans do. You and I both know they are insignificant creatures that Yahweh took pity on so why do they get a gift like that when we don’t?”
[ Mordecai ] “You just said it, he pitied them so they got to dream about the things they can’t do while we actually do them.”
[ Kaine Knightlord ] “They get to dream beyond our capabilities though. If anyone knows that, it’s you Mordecai. When I was still human, my dream self could destroy the being I am today in a nanosecond. I don’t want to lose that feeling of power just because I’ve achieved a fraction of it.”
[ Mordecai ] “You want to dream again so you can feel more powerful? There has to be more to it than that.”
Kaine nods his head.
[ Kaine Knightlord ] “When I was human, dreams let me interact with people I missed dearly either due to death or distance. I’m tired of all the loss I’ve had to endure over the years. To see them again is what I really want.”
[ Mordecai ] “Is this about Joanna?”
[ Kaine Knightlord ] “She’s part of it, there’s plenty of others that I miss. My parents, my siblings, past lovers, past friends. I want to see them again somewhere else other than my memories or the cemetery.”
[ Mordecai ] “You know you’re asking me to break a curse for you, right?”
[ Kaine Knightlord ] “I need this Mordecai; we both know you owe me.”
Mordecai looks down and slowly nods his head.
[ Mordecai ] “Fine, I can’t promise you’ll be happy about it.”
[ Kaine Knightlord ] “I just want a chance.”
[ Mordecai ] “So be it.”
Mordecai palm strikes Knightlord’s forehead, and we see Kaine stumble backwards as what appears to be a string slowly enters the forehead where Mordecai struck it.
Mordecai makes his way to the exit.
[ Mordecai ] “Sweet dreams.”
JET SET RADIO vs. THE IMPALER & TENCHU
Jet Set Radio make their official debut together here tonight as they take on the duo of Tenchu and the Impaler but can the trio make a big splash or will they crash and burn?
The bell sounds as Ether begins the match against the Impaler, Legion trying for the Adam Smasher but she slides underneath before delivering a brutal Ether Strike to the back of the head. Impaler doesn’t go down, insteading stumbling forward right into Truck Fucked!
Tag nailed Impaler with the skateboard to the face, dropping him to the mat as Ether tags in Wiz, who climbs up to the top rope, Bootsy Conne…hits mat! Wiz staggers up to his feet right into the Adam Smasher Lariat before Impaler staggers to his corner, tagging in Tenchu.
Wiz slowly gets to his feet right into a kick to the gut, Lethal Blo…Money Shot! Tenchu’s momentarily blinded by the paint spray as Ether rolls into the ring behind him. Fuck Yo Future! Combination Bicycle/Skate enhanced Spinning Heel Kick Combination hits flush as Tenchu looks like he’s out cold.
Tag delivers another Bicycle to Impaler on the apron, sending him to the floor below before all three climb up onto opposing turnbuckles and dive off. Ride the Sky! Electric Freebird! Star Fade! Three Post Massacre to Tenchu as Tag covers for the One…Two…Three!!!
Jet Set Radio pick up the emphatic victory here tonight, showing off their natural chemistry and pure teamwork as they should be a force to reckon with in the future
A commotion is backstage as a sea of tents and other homeless shelters has taken over an area of the backstage area. Dirty, drug-addicts and other assorted homeless tramps have taken up residence in the backstage area.
A camera man trips over one of them, who groans as he wakes up from his drunken stupor.
“Hey! Asshole! Watch where you’re goin’!”
[ Rasputin ]”Hey, man! What’s the issue here?”
The camera man just takes a step back, apologizing. Rasputin, in all his dirty glory, walks up and checks on the homeless man.
[ Rasputin ] “Rest easy, my friend. I’m sure it was an innocent accident. He should be more careful and certainly more respectful of our home when he comes in unannounced.”
Suddenly a blood curdling scream comes from the other end of the Skid Row. Rasputin, the cameraman, and a horde of other homeless people go running in the direction of the scream.
On the ground, one of them is dead in a pool of blood.
[ Rasputin ] “What the hell happened here?”
The terrified looking woman is sat on the ground, shaking and terrified. Rasputin walks over to the woman and takes her trembling hand in his own.
[ Rasputin ]”Relax, darlin’. Everything will be alright. Did you see what happened?”
The woman shakes her head, the terror still clear on her face at the sight of the dead body.
[ Rasputin ]”It’s alright. We’ll figure it out and make the bastard pay.
Rasputin looks at the cameraman, anger in his eyes.
[ Rasputin ]”Don’t think I’ve forgotten about you.”
TENCHU AND BANZAN
Tenchu is walking backstage after it’s match. As he walks, a voice comes from the Robotic Assassin’s locker room.
“And he shall not bring dishonour to the Odawara, by word or deed, unless he brings dishonour to his whole family.”
[ Tenchu ] “Under pain of Seppuku, you shall carry yourself with honour.”
Sitting there with a scroll in hand is Banzan who looks up to the Samurai Machine.
[ Tenchu ] “What do you know about the Laws of the Odawara, Banzan?” his hand on the hilt of the katana.
[ Banzan ] “I know enough. I know you have broken many of the laws written here and yet you have not honoured that very simple command.” Banzan states as the Mountain stands to his feet.
Tenchu draws his sword but Banzan is quicker than anyone his size should be, placing his hand on the pommel of the sword and forcing it back into the scabbard. He glares the Metal Shadow in the eye as a glowing aura surrounds the Monk.
[ Banzan ] “You haven’t earned the chance to draw that blade against me, Tenchu.”
Tenchu struggles for a moment before being met by a Tiger Claw palm strike that sends the Metal Shadow into a wall of lockers.
Tenchu shakes his head as Banzan looks down on him.
[ Banzan ] “I’ll remind you of the laws you swore to uphold.”
With that, Banzan marches out of the locker room as Tenchu falls to his knees.
CHRONOA vs. STARBOY vs. SIR RENAULT
Two very interesting newcomers step into the ring against one of OSW’s finest in Sir Renault! Can they prove themselves here tonight?
GANGBANGARANG! SLINGBLADE RIGHT OUT THE GATE TO SIR RENAULT! Darth Jesus hits the mat and Starboy prances around playfully- BEFORE BEING WELCOMED TO MANSON STREET! RUNNING NECKBREAKER BY CHRONOA! She’s channeling David Manson here tonight and follows up with a devastating stomp to Starboy’s face that busts him open!
Chronoa peels him up AND GETS A BUKAKKE FOR HER TROUBLE! THE WHITE SEED BLINDS CHRONOA! He follows up with a leaping senton that plants Chronoa in the dirt, tea-bagging her for good measure! However, as he turns around HE GETS CAUGHT BY A MASSIVE LARIAT BY RENAULT!
Starboy is laid out and Renault capitalizes on the blinded Chronoa by letting her up AND HITTING HER WITH A LEAPING ELBOW TO THE FACE! Chronoa gets knocked to a knee and is busted open! Renault goes in- AND GETS HEADBUTT! ANOTHER! ANOTHER! CHRONOA HAS INTRODUCED HIM TO THE BAD DREAM AS BLOOD SPLATTERS THEM BOTH!
The assault keeps going on and Chronoa doesn’t realize Starboy is up! OIL CHECK! THERE GOES A THUMB RIGHT UP HER ASS! The Harbinger drops Renault and turns around! DIRTY SANCHEZ! THE CHOP TO THE FACE DROPS HER! BUT RENAULT IS UP AND HE GRABS STARBOY! THE LAST CRUSADE! SITOUT CRUCIFIX POWERBOMB! ONE! TWO! THREE!
Sir Renault shoves Starboy away after the count, quickly making distance between him and the Lover of All without stopping to celebrate his win.
ISRAEL GRIMWOLF, CAEL GABLE, DEATHNOTE, VOYNICH, SIGIL, CORVUS, VIPER ROBERTS & THE SANDMAN
The middle of the ocean.
Cael Gable stands, his hands tied behind his back, looking into the deep abyss of water below. He’s on the plank and he’s being forced to walk it, utterly helpless and unable to save himself.
Behind him, Israel Grimwolf stands, crew at his back – sword in hand, pointed in his direction.
[ Israel Grimwolf ] “You’re gonna pay for what you did to me, me hearty. Now fuckin’ walk!”
Suddenly, Deathnote appears beside him.
[ Deathnote ] “What is this?”
He demands to know.
[ Deathnote ] “You know this isn’t going to work, Grimwolf.”
[ Israel Grimwolf ] “What? What’s happening?!”
Through the crowd of sailors and crew walks a surprising figure. It’s Voynich. The Best Kept Secret looks just as confused as everyone else, but he feels compelled to speak.
[ Voynich ] “You don’t want to do this, Israel.”
That stops everyone, who turn their attention to Voynich.
[ Voynich ] “You have to be better than Cael was, or it changes you. Trust me, I’ve learned this the hard way.”
[ Deathnote ] “Ugh, it doesn’t matter.”
Cael turns to look at him quizzically.
[ Cael Gable ] “What the fuck do you even mean by that? He’s about to drop me in the fucking ocean with my hands tied behind my back. How can it not matter?”
Deathnote has no interest in answering that question and simply folds his arms, scoffing almost.
Before the question can be asked again, a portal abruptly opens above them with Sigil dropping through it out of no-where. The Collector lands on one knee and looks around himself, surveying the situation.
[ Sigil ] “This… this isn’t right. I’m not supposed to be here.”
Just then, Corvus darts at him through the crowd, tackling him from one knee to the deck. Corvus was here all along, hiding in the shadows and watching. He starts slamming fists into him, beating the holy shit out of The Collector.
Everyone immediately turns their attention to the plank, where Cael Gable once stood.
Once being the operative word.
Now, all that remains is Viper Roberts. The Head Snake having abruptly and suddenly pushed Gable into the water. With all eyes on him, he shrugs nonchalantly.
[ Viper Roberts ] “What? You were too busy talking about it. Less talking, more action.”
Just then, Cael Gable appears on the deck, soaking wet.
No-one knows what the fuck is going on.
Suddenly, a voice booms from above.
[ The Sandman ] “Your dreams are my world; they belong to me, just like the OSW World Championship. You all wish to dethrone me, but if you come, I will be your nightmare.”
[ Mordecai ] “Enough!”
Collective gasps occur across The Slaughterhouse as those involved awake from their induced, abrupt and disturbing slumber.
RASPUTIN vs. MORDECAI
The Angel of Dirt makes his debut here tonight, hoping to spread the gospel of the gutter but he faces the gatekeeper of dreams themselves. Will Rasputin’s wildest hopes come true or will Mordecai stop him for the good of humanity?
The bell sounds as Mordecai takes Rasputin by surprise, nearly taking his head off with a brutal Big Boot but the Angel of Dirt just smiles, quickly getting back to his feet with a sickening grin. Mordecai just delivers another before quickly lifting Rasputin up to his feet, hoisting him up onto this back and driving him down to the canvas with the Myoclonic Twitch!
Rasputin’s head snaps down to the mat but Mordecai doesn’t cover, pulling the still smiling Angel of Dirt to his feet, rocking him with a series of knees to the stomach before tossing him into the air. Reality…Rasputin spits blood into Mordecai’s eyes!
The Gatekeeper staggers back as Rasputin pounces, pounding down on Mordecai with a frenzied, wild attack. Mordecai tries to push him off but Rasputin is relentless as he drives Mordecai to his knees before rushing to the ropes and bouncing off, TRIPPING THE RIFT!
Rasputin looks for the end, trying to lift Mordecai off his feet but can’t find the strength before he’s headbutted into oblivion by the Gatekeeper who lifts Rasputin off his feet before spiking him into the mat with the Hypnogogia! Mordecai quickly covers the stunned Rasputin for the One…Two…Three!!!
The Gatekeeper of Dreams picks up the victory here tonight but Rasputin gave him a huge run for his money in the process.
ALBIE SHAW & WIZ
It’s been a day or two since bMf visited Pyre in Hell’s Mouth Prison, and now, looking every inch the thug he’s always been, Albie Shaw stalks the streets, one thing in his mind.
His target. His project. His next victim.
The sun has set behind the warehouses and office blocks, and all that remains visible in the low light is a graffiti’d skate park.
And on that park is Wiz himself, busting tricks on his Funkmobile.
Shaw launches towards him as he gets to the bottom of a halfpipe and near takes his head off with a clothesline.
[ Albert Shaw ] “You and your little Go Jetter mates are in for some big trouble. And I start tonight with you.”
Wiz curls his lip, wincing at the blood forming around his mouth.
[ Wiz ] “Man, you really got it bad don’t you? Pyre needed to be stopped. That place is the best place for her. You dig?”
Shaw’s eyes narrow as he picks up a discarded skateboard.
[ Albert Shaw ] “There’s two kinds of digging. The kind that you’re talking about. Understanding. Empathy. Spiritual and funkadelic. Things I like to call weaknesses. Then there’s the second kind of digging. The type that’s more to do with hard knocks and real life street smarts.”
He swings the skateboard at Wiz, barely missing his head.
[ Albert Shaw ] “Digging graves.”
He swings once more, catching Wiz on the arm as he gets to his trusty scooter.
[ Albert Shaw ] “And I only deal with the second kind.”
Wiz speeds away on his scooter, leaving Shaw laughing to himself.
CORVUS vs. THE SANDMAN
Corvus is an agent of Death itself. But can even he hope to put down Sandman?
The bell rings and Sandman comes out the gate with an explosive big boot to a rushing Corvus that sends the assassin across the ring! Corvus gets up INTO A BIEL TOSS BY SANDMAN TO THE TURNBUCKLE! THE DREAM DEMON HITS A CLOTHESLINE THAT SENDS CORVUS OVER TO THE OUTSIDE!
No! The Crow lands on the apron! He’s already hurting and Sandman reaches over to grab hold of him- CORVUS KICK! THE BACKFLIP FLASH KICK CATCHES SANDMAN IN THE JAW! The World Champ stumbles back and Corvus runs up the turnbuckle, leaping off AND HITTING THE CUT THROAT DRIVER!
The flying Hurricanrana Driver plants Sandman and Corvus stalks around the ring looking for an opening! Sandman slowly rises INTO THE BLACK HAND BLADE! RK-NO! TO SAND! SANDMAN GOOZLES CORVUS ALL THE WAY TO HELL WITH A RING SHAKING CHOKESLAM! Sandman reaches down, peeling him up with one hand!
Headbutt! Haymaker! Corvus gets rocked by the powerful blows as Sandman whips him across the ring and drops him with an axhandle on return! Sandman is calling for the end as Corvus groggily gets to his feet! FORTY WINKS! THE CROW YELLS IN AGONY AS SANDMAN ASSAULTS BOTH EYES! CORVUS CAN’T HOLD ON! HE TAPS!
The Sandman drops Corvus to the mat, walking away from this looking as powerful as ever.
CHRONOA & THE IMPALER
Backstage, we find The Impaler still recuperating from a hard-fought tag team affair earlier in the night. Preparing to finally make his exit from The Slaughterhouse, there is but one person standing in his way.
She stares Legion down with an air of confidence about her and a smirk on her face.
[ Chronoa ] “So this is the Dread Pirate Roberts of Pro Wrestling. The great multitude. The Impaler.”
She chuckles, lightly shaking her head.
[ Chronoa ] “Oh, how the legends betray you.”
This frustrates The Impaler, noticeable in the tone of his response.
[ The Impaler ] “Who are you to speak to me this way?”
The smirk begins to fade from Chronoa’s face, slowly replaced with a look of scorn.
[ Chronoa ] “I am a fountain of knowledge, forever bound to keep close watch on what goes on throughout time. I have heard the stories spoken in hushed tones about you, what tales they tell of your myriad of atrocities…and I am a harbinger of what awaits.”
The Impaler is almost taken aback by this, though the anger on his face is mixed with a sense of confusion.
[ The Impaler ] “These stories you speak of…you feel like testing their credibility?”
This gets a solid laugh from the Keeper of History.
[ Chronoa ] “You do not intimidate me, Impaler. Not from what I know. Your actions of late have laid the foundation for what’s to come, and I am going to see it through to completion. What should have been will always be.”
With that, Chronoa takes her leave, forcing The Impaler to ponder what fate may have in store for him.
PYRE & ETHER
Hell’s Mouth Maximum Security Prison.
We are back at the esteemed penitentiary establishment known as Hell’s Mouth, though this area of the prison is brighter and happier than the cellblock we saw earlier.
A wall of thick glass is broken into separate booths separating the visitors from the prisoners. Pyre is brought forth, dragged into position and slumped down into one of the chairs facing the glass. Around her, three guards stand. Each one positioned with a firehose pointed at her.
She picks up the receiver of the phone attached to the pane of glass and waits until Ether does the same on the other side of the visitor’s booth.
[ Pyre ] “Don’t get me wrong, I’m just happy to get out of that damned room for a moment, but what the fuck are you doing here, bitch?”
Her visitor smirks, chuckling but does not instantly respond.
[ Pyre ] “You’re the one Simon sent to tell me what hoops I need to jump through for him to get out of this hellhole I’m guessing?”
Ether’s chuckle turns into a full blown laugh. She takes a bite from the burger she had brought with her and moans loudly as she swallows the mouthful.
[ Ether ] “Get out? That’s why you think I’m here? No, no, no… I’m just here to see how you’re settling in.”
Her eyes waver from Pyre, to the guards, to the firehoses. Then back to Pyre, who still drips from head to foot from her water torture. Pyre merely glares at her.
[ Ether ] “You look like you’re making friends and settling in well. How’s the prison food treating you? Missing the simple pleasures of the outside world yet?”
She takes another bite of her burger, letting the barbeque sauce dribble down her chin.
[ Pyre ] “If the only reason you came here was to mock, then we’re done. I’ve dried out enough. Guards…”
But the guards don’t move, they simply keep their firehoses trained on Pyre.
[ Ether ] “You’re used to having all the power, aren’t you Pyre. In here, you don’t tell anybody what to do. You do what you’re told. Get used to it, because you’re not going anywhere for a long time so you may as well get comfortable.”
Ether, without warning, drops the receiver of the phone. Glowing red and scorching hot, it bursts into flames before her eyes. A few moments later, the smoke alarm in the visitor’s centre goes off. But that is all Pyre can see before three torrents of water engulf her.
Three firehoses pointed at her at near point blank range.
With their conversation over, Ether merely stands, leaving a small bite of her burger sitting just at the pane of glass ahead of her and walking away.
SEESAW vs. VIGOUR
The Prince of Party made a huge impact in Wrestle Heroes, coming inches away from gold in his first contest but in his second, he faces the Toybox King. Can Vigour survive another day or will he but another victim of Seesaw’s savagery?
The bell sounds as Seesaw rushes forward, taking all the wind out of Vigour with a brutal running knee to the midsection before he grabs him by the arm, and hard whips him chest first into the turnbuckles. Vigour staggers out, holding his chest right into the Slapstick Claptrap, stunning the Party Prince before a huge Sidewalk Slam nearly drives him through the canvas
Seesaw quickly rushes to the top rope, flapping his arms manically with a cackle before diving off, Flight of the…knees! The top rope Splash hits knees as Vigour rushes to the ropes, springboarding off with a brutal Tornado DDT, spiking Seesaw into the mat before leaping up high, Quick Thrill!
Vigour doesn’t cover, instead looking for a bigger high as he heads up to the top rope himself but just as he turns around, he’s crotched as Seesaw leaps onto the ropes. The Toybox King quickly rushes up to the top, gripping Vigour around the waist, Super Belly to Belly!
Seesaw has an enormous grin upon his face at Vigour’s pain as he pulls the Good Time Guy up to his feet, delivering a brutal series of headbutts, trying to Pin the Tail on Vigour’s skull before turning the barely conscious Vigour upside down in the air, Pop Goes The Weasel! Brutal Piledriver spikes Vigour into the mat before Seesaw covers him for the One…Two…Three!!!
Seesaw picks up a victory over the very impressive Vigour, decimating him with overwhelming fury and showing just why the Toybox King is such a dangerous man in OSW.
SEESAW & PHINEAS MOODY
Fresh off his match with Vigour, SeeSaw is beginning to leave the ringside area when he stops dead in his tracks. To the world, he vanishes. But to SeeSaw, the whole world seems to open up underneath him, taking him through a black void.
He falls forever.
Until he finds himself standing in a dark room.
[ Phineas Moody ] “Welcome.”
Mr. Make Believe isn’t open to any shenanigans. He reaches out to grab Moody, but the Ringmaster vanishes and appears behind him. SeeSaw whirls to face him, only to find Phineas laughing in his face. A deep, powerful, laugh that would make piss run down your leg.
[ SeeSaw ] “Do you want to play a game? Because I’ve got loads of toys to play with.”
Carnevil stops laughing, and turns serious.
[ Phineas Moody ] “You intrigue me, Fish. Are you really a man? Or are you a monster? Does it really matter? Man will tear you down regardless. They’ve already tried, haven’t they?”
[ Phineas Moody ] “Mankind cannot handle anything that deviates from the rubbish they’re taught. They serve whomever promises them the greatest reward. Politicians, oligarchs, celebrities.”
He pauses, getting up in SeeSaw’s ear.
[ Phineas Moody ] “Gods.”
Mr. Make Believe raises an eyebrow.
[ SeeSaw ] “There are no gods left.”
A smile crosses Moody’s face.
[ Phineas Moody ] “Exactly. Look at the newly minted Vayikra. They bear the markings and evangelize for a God that fell victim to death. I have tracked them, fought with them, and I can tell you that they now serve a new ruler. Sir Vant, he is called. They choose to fight for their God.”
[ SeeSaw ] “But he’s dead.”
[ Phineas Moody ] “Then let me ask you. If they’re not servants to God, then who are they really serving?”
[ SeeSaw ] “Sir Vant.”
Moody looks pleased, in spite of himself.
[ Phineas Moody ] “Your very existence disgusts me. But you could prove a valuable ally. Observe Vayikra. Try to ascertain their true motives. After all, their God may be dead, but the grift never ends. The show must go on. For us all.”
Phineas Moody vanishes, leaving a small television monitor. SeeSaw realizes he’s inside the ToyBox, and this is his personal set. But on the screen he sees three men walking.
Vayikra, with Sir Vant leading them.
But what are they doing?
CAEL GABLE vs. DEATHNOTE
The Olympian, Cael Gable, takes on the Author of Death, Deathnote, tonight in a match that should help the pendulum of momentum swing in the favour of the victor. Who will carry that momentum into the new year?
Cael Gable begins by looking for the lock-up, but Deathnote pummels him with an elbow to the skull instead. Gable staggers, DEATHNOTE WITH A SLEEPER SLAM DROPS THE OLYMPIAN! Deathnote looks for an ELBOW DROP to follow, but GABLE ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY! LEG HOOK TAKEDOWN! DEATHNOTE IS TOPPLED TO THE CANVAS AND GABLE HAS HIS ANKLE!
ANKLE LOCK FROM CAEL GABLE! He pulls Deathnote away from the ropes and wrenches the hold. It is all the Shinigami can do to kick Gable off him and roll out of the ring to recuperate. Gable climbs upon the ring apron. DOUBLE AXE HANDLE FROM GABLE TO RINGSIDE!
Deathnote falls into the crowd barricade, Gable grabs him by the wrist and flings him back into the ring. Following him inside, he scoops Deathnote up. SILENCE IS GOLDEN! THE REAR NAKED CHOKE! But he can’t get the hold locked in before DEATHNOTE FLINGS HIM OVER HIS HIP AND PLANTS HIM INTO THE CANVAS!
Deathnote pulls Gable to his feet, but Gable gathers his momentum and pulls the Shinigami into an Irish Whip, sending him into the ropes. Deathnote rebounds and PUMMELS GABLE WITH A RUNNING KNEE STRIKE! GABLE IS GROGGY! DEATHNOTE LIFTS HIM UP! GTS! GATHER… THY… SOUL! Deathnote covers Gable for the pin! ONE! TWO! THREE!
An impressive win here against two contenders vying for their spot but it is the Shinigami here tonight who makes Cael Gable kneel before the God of the New World.
ZERO & TAG
Backstage, we find ourselves in a private room. Lit only by candle, there’s a heart-shaped bed in the center of the room some kind of swing dangling from the ceiling.
Well, I think we all know what kind of swing it is.
So it should come as no surprise to see Tag lounging in this little sex dungeon, sat on a leather couch, staring at a picture of…
…his old skateboard? Weird. But okay.
Across from the couch, there sits a tripod with an old camcorder. The giant kind that your parents used.
Yeah, I said it. They fucked. Down, dirty, and raw.
At the sound of the knocking, Tag gets up and turns on the ancient recorder before walking to the door. He opens it with a grin.
But his eyes go wide instantly.
“Lose something, brah?”
IT’S ZERO, AND HE LOOKS ENRAGED!
WHAM! HE NAILS TAG IN THE FACE WITH THE BROKEN REMAINS OF HIS SKATEBOARD!
[ Zero ] “I brought your bitch back.”
The hacker strikes viciously down with a bionic punch, and he holds Tag down by the pink streak in his hair.
[ Zero ] “Your little jack off squad should all be getting the message, if they ain’t got it already. You put bMf on notice, and now that you fucked around, it’s time for you to find out.”
Noticing his surroundings, Zero chuckles, releasing a very dazed Tag.
[ Zero ] “Ain’t this cozy. You even got sheets on your bed. Next thing you’ll be telling me you kiss a bitch before you turn em out.”
He gets up and walks over to the camcorder, which recorded the whole thing. He pops the tape out, and tucks it into his vest.
[ Zero ] “You one of them analog bitches? You’re in a digital world now, so take your little Cassandra and get the fuck out of my territory.”
The hacker leaves the room, with Tag slowly rising to his knees. He looks down at the skateboard with rage in his eyes.
This has become personal.
ISRAEL GRIMWOLF & VOYNICH vs. SIGIL & VIPER ROBERTS
The Collector drags Best Kept Secret towards the corner and tags in Viper. The Head Snake gets to work with some corner shoulder thrusts. Viper looks for an Irish whip across the ring but Voynich counters…ISHTAR GATE!!! Big lariat to The Viper. Both men are down. It’s a race for a hot tag!!!
SIMULTANEOUS TAG!!! Grimwolf and Sigil are but the pirate is a fraction quicker. KEELHAULED!!! The roaring elbow floors The Collector. Grimwolf stands over him…PIECES OF EIGHT!!! NO!!! SNAKE OIL!!! Viper is in to stop the curb stomp flourish!!! The snake pulls out his leather belt, is he gonna start TANNIN’ THE HIDE?
DENIED!!! Voynich is in…HAMMERSTONE!!! Viper bounces off the ropes…MONOLITH!!! The Head Snake is spiked!!! It’s carnage and Sigil has recovered. FINITE!!! Roundhouse kick to Voynich. HERE COMES GRIMWOLF WITH A STEEL CHAIR! SIGIL IMMEDIATELY PULLS SMILEY JUNIOR FROM HIS SATCHEL! WHAM! THEY SLAM INTO EACH OTHER AT THE SAME TIME AND THE REFEREE CALLS FOR THE BELL!
A double disqualification ends this one in a draw.
SIMON & LUKE STORM
The establishment is quite posh in appearance. From the silken sheets on the bed to the oak door in the entryway. Someone with money or connections must be inhabiting here, right?
Well, in the case of Simon, it’s connections and wit that lead to this hideaway.
The Taskmaster sits at a desk, pouring himself a glass of what appears to be expensive whiskey. However, he doesn’t drink it.
His head immediately whips towards the door where we see Luke Storm barging in!
[ Hollywood Luke Storm ] “Nice place, mother fucker. Didn’t think to bring your new wife on the honeymoon?”
Just as quickly as Simon leaps to his feet Storm is on him like white on rice! He lays into The Grandmaster with a furious combination of right hands that send him reeling! His back slams into the window of the hotel room, sending hairline cracks all over its surface!
Storm rears back!
LIGHTNING STRIKE! SIMON GETS FLUNG BACKWARDS AND THE WINDOW SMASHES! THE TASKMASTER NEARLY GETS THROWN OUT BUT BARELY CATCHES HIMSELF!
Simon collapses into a heap at the base of the now shattered window, looking up at Storm with blood trickling from his lip.
[ Simon ] “Go on then, do it. Take the king, that’s why you’re here, right?”
Storm chuckles, grabbing the glass of whiskey.
[ Hollywood Luke Storm ] “No, I’m here to make you suffer like Pyre is. I’ll be seeing you again real soon. And make sure to bring more whiskey, I get thirsty after handing out ass-whoopings.”
Luke turns to leave, downing the glass as he exits the room. However, we see Simon merely smile, his eyes glancing towards the whiskey bottle and whisper under his breath.
[ Simon ] “Drink up, champ. I picked it out just for you.”
What the hell was in that drink?
SIR BELLATOR vs. THE GENERATION KID ©
Sir Bellator fixes the newcomer with a gaze which cuts to his core, ready to deliver his judgment. It was his Rewind title That Eighties Kid won, and The Templar wants it back!
The official holds the aforementioned gold above his head. Both men step forwards, their eyes on the prize.
Handing the belt to ringside personnel, the referee calls for the bell.
DING, DING, DING!
Far from the largest competitor in The Slaughterhouse, Bellator still towers over TGK. There’s half a foot and over one-hundred pounds difference between them – that’s before mentioning the gulf in experience and pedigree!
They slam antlers in a collar-and-elbow tie-up! Bellator clinches in a headlock, but TGK backs them into the ropes and shoves him off. Sanctus slingshots himself off the opposite set, steamrolling through the Kid with a shoulder tackle!
The greenhorn flips onto his belly as the holy warrior hits the ropes again. He pops onto his feet and goes for a hip toss, but Bellator sandbags it. Doubling TGK over with a shot to the gut, Sanctus drapes his leg over the back of his neck, then backflips behind him. He drops him like a bad habit with a belly-to-back suplex!
Rising once more, Bellator crosses himself…
STANDING SHOOTING STAR PRESS!
What athleticism by The Chosen One! He hooks the leg…
Rewind title on the line—
TGK hasn’t ended syndication yet!
Sanctus sinks onto his haunches, waiting for the Kid to crawl onto all fours…
RUNNING DROPKICK TO THE TEMPLE!
The Rewind Champion spills through the ropes onto the floor. Bellator grips the top rope with both hands, biding his time once more…
The challenger splats on top of TGK, onto the concrete!
Like a man possessed, Sanctus almost rips TGK’s arm off as he yanks him to his feet. He frogmarches him towards the crowd barricade in a full-nelson.
“You cheered for this man at Wrestle Heroes!?” Bellator interrogates the spectators.
They rally behind the Kid in defiance.
Sanctus shakes his head in disappointment, muttering about “… False idols”.
Releasing the full-nelson, he clubs TGK in the back, then spins him round. Sandwiching his head between his thighs, he heaves him up into a powerbomb. Shifting him overhead, he catches him by his underarms – IS THIS A SIGN!?
BELLATOR EYES UP THE STEEL STAIRS!
HE BUILDS UP A FULL HEAD OF STEAM…
HE’S GOING TO HIT THE CRUCIFIX POWERBOMB RIGHT INTO THE STEPS!!
YAHWEH’S SI—TGK HOPS DOWN!
Sanctus spins round—
SPEAR, SPEAR, SPEAR!
SPEAR INTO THE FUCKING STAIRS!
THE GENERATION KID JUST TOOK BELLATOR FOR A SPIN IN DOC BROWN’S DELOREAN!
The Slaughterhouse fans come unglued for the underdog getting his licks in, slapping the barrier and stamping their feet.
TGK gets to his feet, looking around in shock at his actions, and awe at the people’s reaction.
Refocusing, he pulls Sanctus to his feet and hurriedly rolls him under the ropes.
He hooks the leg, and the crowd counts along…
THE KID TO RETAIN!?
Bellator must be thanking every deity there is for that one!
Running his hands through his hair, TGK climbs to his feet. The 80s throwback fist-pumps the air like John Bender – you know what that means!
He pulls himself up onto the middle rope as Sanctus comes round…
DOUBLE AXE HANDLE!
THE BREAKFAST CLU—NO!
TGK FINDS HIMSELF IN DETENTION, AS SIR BELLATOR DROPKICKS HIM OUT OF THE AIR!
Christ’s Forgotten Son races into a cover…
Don’t break out TGK’s Greatest Hits just yet!
The knight of Vayikra can’t believe it. Stalking the kid from yesteryear, he slaps his arm. He’s signalling for it!
Nursing his abdomen, TGK struggles to his feet—
BELLATOR HITS THE ROPES LIKE THEY OWE HIM MONEY!
HEADSCISSORS ON THE GENERATION KID!
INTO AN ARMBAR TAKEDOWN!
SANCTUS SMITES HIM WITH LA MISTICA – THE ARM OF GOD!
Ode to his father, Lux, Sir Bellator has TGK trapped and hollering centre-ring. He wrenches back on the shoulder joint, threatening to hyperextend the elbow!
WILL THE EIGHTIES KID TAP OUT!?
IS THE FORMER CHAMPION GOING TO REWIND THE EVENTS OF WRESTLE HEROES!?
THE ROOKIE ELBOWS BELLATOR WITH HIS FREE ARM!
ELBOW, ELBOW, ELBOW!
HE’S FIGHTING WITH EVERYTHING HE’S GOT…
BUT SANCTUS RAILS BACK WITH ELBOWS OF HIS OWN!
Literally beating TGK into submission, Bellator cranks his arm to breaking point!
TGK REACHES BACK IN ONE LAST-DITCH ATTEMPT…
HE PULLS SANCTUS BACK TO THE FUTURE WITH A BACKSLIDE PIN!
CAN TGK GO 2-0!?
It’s nothing short of a miracle that Bellator kicked outta that!
Sanctus scrambles to his feet, beating a one-armed TGK to the punch—
STANDING BESIDE HIM, HE SLINGS HIS ARM BEHIND HIS HEAD…
TGK DROPS DOWN—
INSIDE CRADLE – THE TRANSFORMERS!
THERE’S MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE TO THIS GUTSY KID!
THIS COULD BE A BIBLICAL MOMENT FOR TGK!
NO – TWO-COUNT!!!
Bellator must be rubbing his rosaries right about now!
The Generation Kid has come within a cunthair of beating Sir Bellator multiple times in this contest!
No matter the outcome, he’s already proven that Wrestle Heroes II was no fluke.
He may be rough around the edges, but he’s got a diamond-heart!
Sanctus storms his way back up. He looks to be channeling the wrath of the Almighty, as he advances on the Champion—
TGK LEAPS UP WITH A MARTIAL-ARTS STYLE KICK!
THE KARATE KI—BELLATOR DUCKS!
The Kid lands on his gut, and Sanctus quickly drops an elbow across his back. Laying some holy boots into him for good measure, Bellator peels him off the mat.
He hoists him up onto his shoulders for the second time—
RUNNING CRUCIFIX POWERBOMB!?
YAHWEH’S SIGN INTO THE GODDAMN TURNBUCKLE!
WHAT AN HELLACIOUS MOVE!
TGK stumbles out from the corner, clutching the small of his back. He collapses onto the canvas.
Sanctus, however, isn’t through.
He needs to make an example of the Kid, to show the rest of The Slaughterhouse the error of their ways!
He ascends the ropes, closer to God than any man on Earth…
TOP-ROPE DOUBLE-FOOT STOMP!
TGK MOVES OUT OF HARM’S WAY!
Bellator manages to roll through onto his feet. He whips round—
THE GENERATION KID WRAPS HIS ARMS AROUND HIM…
“Nobody calls ME yellow!” He bellows.
TGK lands atop the challenger…
NEVERMIND REWIND – SANCTUS IS GOING TO WANT TO TAPEOVER THIS!
Without the element of surprise of a flash-pin, Bellator manages to press the 120-pound Kid off of him. He stays down, however, caressing his ribs.
TGK looks to the audience, then the corner. They roar with approval. With a gulp, he climbs up on shaky legs.
HE’S GOING FOR TOP GUN – THE TOP-ROPE SPLASH!
IT AIN’T THE PRETTIEST ONE YOU’LL SEE, BUT IT’S EFFECTIVE!
WHERE THE HELL DID THEY COME FROM!?
VANT HOPS ONTO THE FAR APRON, DISTRACTING THE REFEREE!
RENAULT, MEANWHILE, GRABS HOLD OF TGK’S LEG!
THEY STRUGGLE IN THE CORNER…
TGK MANAGES TO KICK RENAULT OFF!
THE LAST CRUSADER SPILLS ONTO THE FLOOR!
BELLATOR IS GETTING UP…
SIR VANT SHOVES PAST THE OFFICIAL!
HE’S GOING TO FINISH WHAT RENAULT STARTED—
TOP GUN, TOP GUN!
THE GENERATION KID NAILS A CROSSBODY VARIANT ON SIR VANT!
The rabid fans are at a fever pitch, camera flashes going off all around The Slaughterhouse.
The Rewind Champion jumps to his feet, ecstatic with his handiwork—
SANCTUS SPINS HIM ROUND!
HE SLINGS HIS ARM BEHIND HIS HEAD—
NO, DAMMIT, NO!
NOT LIKE THIS!
STANDING MOONSAULT SIDE SLAM – IMPERTIOOO!
BELLATOR LAYS OUT THE GENERATION KID!
He throws himself on top of him…
KICK OUT, KID! PLEASE KICK OUT!
NEW CHAMPION, NEW CHAMPION!
Sanctus sanctifies the Rewind Championship!
VAYIKRA & THE GENERATION KID
With the match over and the title decided, Sir Renault heads under the ring and looks to retrieve something.
Meanwhile, Sir Bellator has managed to grab a hold of The Generation Kid and has mounted him in the middle of the ring.
Renault soon returns, pulling out and manoeuvring a cross that he slides under the bottom rope.
What the fuck is he planning?
He lays the cross down and Bellator rolls poor TGK onto it.
[ The Generation Kid ] “Wait… please… don’t…”
The Generation Kid begs, but he’s being ignored.
Renault and Bellator turn to look at Sir Vant, who stands stoically outside the ring.
He gives a slow nod.
Bellator holds TGK down as Renault grabs a hammer and nails from his pouch and hovers over him. Oh my God, they’re not…
HE DRIVES A FUCKING NAIL THROUGH THE HAND OF TGK!
Blood spurts out as he screams in agony. His yell is a guttural roar, accompanied by tears and a pale, terrified face.
[ Sir Bellator ] “You have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer you who lives, but Christ who lives in you. And the life you now live in the flesh, you live by faith in the Son of God, who loved you and gave himself for you.”
[ The Generation Kid ] “No…. not again… no…”
Renault approaches with another nail, placing it down on the palm of The Generation Kid.
They’re going to fucking crucify him.
They’re going to nail him to a God damn cross on the inaugural edition of Fuck the World.
Just then, the booing from the fans turn to cheers.
HERE COMES VIGOUR AND STARBOY!
The moment they slide into the ring, Bellator and Renault escape to the outside, backing away behind Sir Vant who wisely ushers them towards the entrance ramp.
Vigour looks over TGK as Starboy stands on the middle rope, demanding that Vayikra come back and fight.
Like the cowards they are, they refuse.
Fuck the World goes off the air with Vigour attempting to remove the nail from The Generation Kid’s hand as Starboy guards against Vayikra, who back up the entrance ramp.
These guys are sick.
They’re fucking sick.
We’ve seen how religious zealots have impacted Old School Wrestling in the past. Lux Bellator, Sanctus’ father, was a prime example of that.
Now Vayikra are here…
And they have a mission.
May Yahweh’s deceased being have mercy on our souls.