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Endure

Endure

Thump

Thump

Thump

That incessant banging rouses me from my slumber as my eyes open up into that gloomy darkness. Fingertips caressing the worn wood tell me what I already know.

Stuck again in the loop of my greatest fears.

Back to my own personal hell.

Boy, open the door”

My fingers clasp the steel as every muscle and fiber in my body freeze, refusing to move the half circle to open the door even knowing it’s inevitable.

The wood will slowly creak open.

Thin, blinding light piercing through the darkness of solitude.

As that malevolent smile and those god-damnable eyes stare down at me.

Indescribable strength grips my throat, lifting me up high to stare deep into those pools of darkness he calls eyes, a whisper sending shivers down my very soul

“This is all your fault” 

Before I’m thrown into the blinding light.

My knees clatter against stained tiles, the sour staleness of antiseptic filling my nostrils as I feel her soft touch upon my skin and that angelic voice that even for a moment, fools me in thinking I’m in a paradise I don’t deserve.

“Jensen, get up. You have to get out of here”

My eyes tremble, the refusal to look at her and the need to see her once more fighting it out as the last rational thought tries to push her away, try to change her fate to anything but this.

“Just go…please. You can’t save me. No one can”

For the briefest moment, she considers walking away but she shakes that thought away and she always does the same thing.

Dropping to her knees as she grips my head in her hands, the slightest rush pulsing through my heart as my selfless angel stares deep into my soul.

“I’m never leaving you, I promise”

My body goes limp as she easily lifts me up, thinking it’s the pain finally sinking in but it’s because I know she will…even if she never wanted to.

She forces us forward, every step agony as we inch closer to freedom as I wait with bated breath for the inevitable.

BANG!

The single bullet piercing her chest, the force dragging us both down to the ground as the agony pierces through and holding her for those last moments for the millionth time still kills every part of me. The soft, warm lips placed upon my cheek, her cool breath tickling my neck as she softly chuckles.

“This is all your fault”

Before tearing my throat out with her teeth.

Crimson wings slash through my throat, Pale Emerald coins drill through into my ribs before a thick, viscous darkness consumes me from the inside out.

A mere puppet for the vengeful past, forced to look deep into the eyes of the wronged as they utter a single phrase in unison.

This Is All Your Fault

“…but you still can save me

Thump

Thump

Thump

The cycle begins anew but as my eyes adjust to the dim light, briefly I feel her soft hand in mine and see that warm smile of the child I failed the most.

Bring on the horror, bring on the pain and suffering. Hurtle me through every stage of hell for all eternity.

I’ll endure it all forevermore.

I’ll do it For Her.