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Disease Delirium

[Dooms mask sits on a mannequin head, his face over a bowl of hot water vapor, covered in a towel.]

[He sounds awful.]


DOOM has been debilitated.”

[His throat is claggy, and his nose is blocked.]

“A disease wreaks havoc throughout DOOM’s body. It seeks to destroy DOOM. It wishes to defeat and destroy him.”

[He hacks up some phlegm.]

“Just like Destructo Boy and The Burned Man.”

“Just like Grimskull, Harold Attano and The Yellow Python.”

[Doom spits.]

“It batters his immune system with wave after wave of vicious infected cells, going to war like an army within. It uses every weapon at its disposal to bring DOOM to his knees. But DOOM does not bow.”

DOOM will never bow.”

[He coughs and sputters.]

“It doesn’t matter what violence this disease brings to his body. It doesn’t matter what DOOM must do to survive the pain; he will survive. There is no enjoyment of disease or pain. DOOM is not a sadist. DOOM does not enjoy being sick or suffering disease. That shall be saved for The Grimskull.”

[Another hacking cough.]

“The disease also sneaks like a cold blooded snake. Just when DOOM thinks it’s over, it’ll return with vengeance. It slithers spinelessly throughout DOOM’s body, playing hide and seek with DOOM’s immunity. But DOOM has methods and means to seek and destroy it.”

[DOOM blows his nose.]

“It wants DOOM to feel like nobody – like just another victim. It wants DOOM to be broken and sad; a puppet at the hands of its Zeus like power. It wants DOOM to obey. DOOM does not obey!”

“This HARDCORE disease thinks it has control over those it wreaks havoc upon. It thinks it can control the narrative of a person’s story. It thinks it can dictate what DOOM will or won’t do. It thinks wrong.”

[DOOM rises, taking the towel off his head and turning to put on his mask so that we cannot see his face.]

[He breathes in deeply.]

[Exhales powerfully.]

DOOM knows how to beat anything. Hardcore wrestling is a disease that needs conquering, just like the common cold of influenza. You can be a victim, or you can be a conqueror. DOOM refuses to be a victim of the disease.”

“Certainly not.”

DOOM will be the cure.”

[He strides powerfully towards the door.]

“At Pandora’s Box, when violence, mayhem, chaos and a hardcore disease is unleashed upon Old School Wrestling, you will be able to count the victims on one hand.”

“Grimskull, Harold Attano and The Yellow Python.”

“Because no-one puts DOOM in a box.”

[He stumbles.]

“All shall bow before DOOM.”