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Dinner For Two

Dinner For Two

“The thing about eatin’ dinner is that no matter how delicious the food in front of ya is, it’ll never taste quite as good as when you got someone to share it with. A real vile, beautiful lady sittin’ across the table from ya just ready to pack away the meal you put in front of her.”

“Hell, that might drive a man to propose.”

“Most of you poor fools are rollin’ up to Double Tap as odd couples, ain’t ya? A whole slew of fellas with reservations for two pairin’ off just so they can find a table and pull up a chair to a servin’ of tag team gold on their plates.”

“That’s where the difference lies between you and us, though. We ain’t here just for the gold, we’re here on date night. And right in front of us once we get past those ropes? A mouth waterin’, toothsome, downright appetizin’ four course meal laid out for us to consume.”

“I’m just gettin’ ready to set the table.”

“Each and every one of you ain’t nothin’ more than food waitin’ to go past our gums. And lemme tell ya, I got a mighty big cravin’ for the most exotic meat in all of Arcadia.”

“But where do I start?”

“Soup, usually.”

“Maybe a nice Attano stew? Slow roasted in Deathrow, left to sit and simmer for years on end until that tough, old meat is damn near spoon tender before we toss it into that bloody broth and drink it back like water.”

“And next?”

“Gemini and I could dig our teeth into some of that over-ripe carrion, couldn’t we? Chomp down on Tombstone’s throat and tear away at the rotted meat hangin’ from his skin? That’d be an appetizer to get us ready for what’s to come. A finger food of Mariachi fingers ripped straight from his guitar and served in a face paint sauce.”

“It’s overly salty to preserve it, a bit maggoty, but that’s all extra protein, ain’t it?”

“Course three is where the meal gets interestin’. Our entrĂ©e could be damn near anythin’ in Arcadia!”

“But I hope it’s an Apex Steak. Luther and Drewitt’s muscle ripped right from the bone. Sure, it might be a bit gamey, but once you tenderize it enough? Stomp on it, stab it, tear it? It gets perfectly soft as you pull it right off the bone. The screamin’ that graces our ears as we tear them apart? Like classical music for those deviants up on the top floors.”

“Only we won’t end there.”

“Thing is, no four course meal is complete without dessert.”

“An ugly little sundae topped with two championship cherries.”

“My belly might be ready to burst by then, but you know I’ll always have room for a sweet treat to top off my dinner.”

“We’re gonna spoon your sloppy insides into our mouths, gulp it down with a smile.”

“And end it all with two delicious cherries on our tongues.”

“I hope Gemini is ready. Because I’m about to ring the dinner bell.”