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You know, I’ve been in the bitch game for a long ass time, man.

I’ve lost count of the number of bars I’ve gone to on a night looking for some pussy. It became so frequent on a Friday that we’d call it Church.

My church ain’t nothin’ like yours, Renault – naw, there’s no pews, no bibles, no religious sermons, or priests. At my church, we stand at the altar of the bar, with liquor and beer. The collection plate is the bar tab, collectin’ every ounce of cash money we put down in the pursuit of being wasted.

The dance floor is where the men worship the women with a little bump and grind. That’s where I do my whisperin’ sweet nothing’s, hopin’ to get some chick back to my place for the inevitable ‘holy fuck’ moment.

There’s one kinda bitch I’m always on the look out for though, Renault – she’s the easy lay. She’s the one drinkin’ at the bar a little too much. She’s the one at the altar surrounded by empty wine bottles and martini glasses.

When she hits the dancefloor, my black ass gets to worship. I worship that bitch until she decides to come home with me.

Every time this shit happens, it happens for the same reason.

Daddy issues.

The reason these whores are in that bar week after fucking week, waiting for some cunt to bump up against em and grind is cause they have daddy issues. They think they go to church to forget about all that, but in reality, they’re just using one dick to get over another that couldn’t love em.

If Old School Wrestling is your church, that makes you the whore in a little black dress, Renault.

That makes you the one at the altar, drinking away your woes.

That makes you the bitch on the dancefloor, bumping and grinding your way to the love you so desperately need.

We know why you’re here, man. You’re here to get over the fact your daddy didn’t love you enough. You’re here because daddy wasn’t there when you needed him, so you came to his Church to seek him out.

You’re here because you have the biggest daddy issues of all. Solomon Rhodes doesn’t love you and you just can’t handle that, can you, huh?

Every time I step inside of Church, I find the bitch with daddy issues and on Monday night, when we step inside that ring, we gonna do a little bit of bumpin’, mother fucker.

And when we’re done bumpin’, I’m gonna take your ass home and fuck the shit out of you.

Don’t get too excited though homie, cause in this context, when I say I’m gonna fuck the shit outta you just like those bitches at Church..

What I mean is that you gonna fuck around and find out.