When they brought me out to do a photoshoot, I thought I’d have an exciting subject.
But it was just a pair of trees.
Short ugly trees, at that. All they were good for was stealing everyone’s precious space down here in the under-levels.
How’s a girl gonna get a good picture of them?
By golly, I made it work.
Because I know of a tradition in the upper-levels. It’s called Christmas, and you decorate ugly things to make them beautiful for Christmas.
I wrapped their spindly branches, walking them with shiny ropes of foil. Then I flipped down to the ground and covered their ugly shape with flashy two-sided ornaments.
Lastly, I climbed to the tippy top and placed a bright shining star there, breaking the code of how I’d ever make this Polaroid happen.
In the end, they were beautiful!
So I’m not afraid of the Lucky Charms. Not by a long shot!
I just see a pair of short ugly trees for me to decorate!
People tell me they like to steal anything they can get their hands on, and that’s just not nice!
Getting the perfect picture won’t be easy, but I think I know just the trick.
You move around too much, so you can’t be a tree.
But an elf!? That sounds delightful! Christmas has those too!
I’ve got some shiny green gloves, so that people don’t have to see your gnarly little hands.
I’ll cover you in a flashy suit so no one will realize how deformed you are!
And then right there on your heads, that’s the key.
A beautiful hat with a bell on it, so everyone knows when you’re coming to steal their wares!
I know you won’t just let me help you out, but I’ve got some moves for keeping children still, and I think they’ll work just dandy on you fellas.
For your branches, or arms I suppose, I’ve got this little Polaroid I take, it’s called a Kimura, and your little elf gloves will slide right on.
From there, I’ll need to get your whole body. So I’ll take that little arm I already have and flip you right over! It’s a Rough Hike, right? If you fight your elf suit, I’ve got Two Sides ready to pull you down to the ground in a hurry!
Then the coup de grace!
The shining star.
The belled elf hat!
That’s when I get a Snapshot of what I’ve put together. From top to bottom, I’ll pull it all right down to break the code of how to get a good shot of you two.
It’s like taking a Camping Trip, I tell you. Just two elves and a girl ready to get what’s hers.
So get ready, Lucky Charms.
Once I get you all dolled up, I’ll give you the count.
I did it! You look so handsome, little Christmas elves! Even better than the tree!
How could something so ugly turn so beautiful?
Tee hee… it’s a talent!
That’s why I take a picture!
It’ll last longer!