In Promo, Stubbins Doom by DOOM

“Long ago, in a land from tales and stories, there was a river.

“A vast ocean space, in which water was King.

“To cross this river, one would need to employ the services of a Ferryman. It would be his job to carry souls from one side of the river to the other.”

“The river, like life, can be treacherous. Its currents may pull us in unexpected directions, and storms may threaten to capsize our spirits. But in the presence of a terrifyingly emotionless ferryman, these trials become moments of suffering.”

“See, he didn’t discriminate against those who required his services, nor did he make a decision on their destination. The Ferryman would carry them from one side to the other, without explanation, and with impunity. If you needed to cross the river, he would take you.”

“But people would fear the river. They would fear the treacherous currents and the uncertainty of their journey. They would look to him for guidance and understanding; yet they would receive none.”

“For he wasn’t capable of compassion or reason. He was simply there to navigate and illuminate the way.”

“How many people have stood before your ark, Tombstone?”

“How many souls have you carried to the other side? Hundreds? Thousands? I can only imagine that Arcadia has long satisfied your many journeys.”

“You’ve taken soul after soul to their final resting place, having no decision or input on where you take them. You’ve dropped those in paradise and sailed away. You’ve dropped those in the underworld and sailed away.

“Neither joy nor tear has stopped you.”

“Now Stubbins Doom stands upon the bank, looking over the river. What’s on the other side of this treacherous journey warrants consideration. I want to know what exists there. I want to see it for myself.”

“But the only way that happens, is if I allow you to take me on my way.”

“Or does it?”

“You see Tombstone, I’m not like the rest of the souls who find themselves on your ark, preparing for a journey into the unknown. I stand before you on that bank, not awaiting your arrival – but plotting my own journey across the river.”

“Whilst the average mortal in your possession accepts their fate, I do not.

“And neither will they, should you test me.”

“Because you see Tombstone, I’ll build a bridge across that river. I’ll make it out of concrete and cement. It’ll be sturdy and undeniable and with it, I would render you and your ark useless.”

“For there’s no need to have a Ferryman, if there’s no need to sail the river.”

“On Monday Night, you may think you’re coming to take me on my way. That’s adorable, Tombstone. Because when I’m ready to see what’s on the other side of that river, I won’t need you.”

I’ll build myself a bridge.

And I’ll get over it.

“One way or another, just like on Monday night, you won’t be sending me on my way.”