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The most decadent thing on Earth… insects.

I’ve always found it more delightful to trap the bugs in a specific environment before eventual consumption. I would set it up a certain way to where they’d be forced to carry out a specific destiny of my choosing.

Sometimes I make aggressive changes to their lifestyle too, just to spice it up. Maybe it’ll be a jungle paradise one day, and then maybe nothing but sand and a couple of rocks the next.

And then sometimes, I’ll bring in something that’s much, much bigger than it. I have to trust that they can handle themselves before my stomach handles them.

A battle area, perhaps – a beetle and a tarantula. 

If they survive, we applaud and allow them to carry out for a little bit longer. They get stronger, more confident, braverwiser – and they’re suddenly the conquerors of all conquerors.

And then sometimes, I’ll bring in a counterpart – and I allow them to breed.

And once conception comes and goes, I will quietly observe their lives –

The way one teaches the other.

How they inspire each other to aspire in this destiny – because what else is there?

I see instances of love, of distance, of reconnection and in their silent but steady minds, I know that they know that there can only be one

Eventually, they are on separate sides of the enclosure, tending to their own destinies – but with one equal that never seems to die – a passion to persevere! 

Who knows what they would’ve thought if they knew that I was going to take care of that problem for them, Brent. Moreover, who knows what the surviving one would have thought if it knew that they were ultimately next?

I would imagine that they probably wouldn’t have finished their destiny.

And that’s just cruel. 

Because we all deserve an adventure – with a few highs and lows, of course, and there’s nothing more rewarding than being tested and eventually overcoming those tests.

So, the little bug didn’t know of course, Brent. And he went about for a great deal of time, believe it or not. He was a special one, for some reason, so I was determined to give him the full effect of life before it was his time.

He was like two army tanks in one – a full assault warrior that held the balls of his entire legacy between his little tentacles and charged ahead.

Granted, he wasn’t going anywhere – but what a sunray of emotions that little guy must have felt – in all of the polarizing events, the monsters that he had to take on, and the age that surely slowed him and his adventure down.

It was sad in the end – you know, Brent?

Because even though you love something so much, you can’t forget the overall purpose of its existence to begin with –

To be eaten, by me.

And I did eat him – with a fine Chianti, in fact.

It didn’t take more than a crunch for that entire adventure to come to its close – but this is how it must be, you see.

And how it will be.

Bon Appetite, Brent.


Ozric Mortimer