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Barney

Barney

“The memories in my head tell me that my father, or creator, used to really love animals.”

“He had so many different kinds.”

“Household pets galore, but none of them were allowed down into the workshop except one – Barney. Barney was a loveable dalmatian that pops had since he was a puppy. Pops had a special affinity for Barney, so he’d let him down into the workshop from time to time.”

“One day I was in the workshop with pop – a rarity by all accounts, and Barney was jealous. This was his space, not mine.”

“I made the mistake of reaching my hand out to pet him.”

“And he bit me.”

“He didn’t just bite me, he drew blood.”

“I remember watching as my pop dragged Barney outside into the yard, not knowing why that good boy, that loving pet, turned on me and bit me.”

“You know Chip, the thing about animals is that they’re unpredictable. It doesn’t matter what kind of animal it is, it has a mind you cannot really predict. A snake lives and dies by its ability to strike when necessary. The poisonous ones won’t hesitate to bite you if they feel it’s needed, even if you don’t.”

“Cats have sharp claws and draw them at will.”

“A badger has to be one of the most violent creatures on the planet.”

“But you? You remind me more of Barney. You seem like that loving pet, bounding around Old School Wrestling, getting into mischief and chasing a rabbit like a good ol’ hound.”

“That’s probably why SeeSaw wants to play with you so much, right?”

“But on Monday Night at High Voltage, when we step into the ring, I’m gonna get bit. That loveable little dog is gonna clench his jaws down upon me and I’m gonna remember that feeling from when I was just a boy, as the pain courses through my body.”

“I’ll recoil in agony, I’m sure.”

“But I won’t be shocked.”

“Barney taught me that.”

“And when my pop took Barney outside, it wasn’t to put him in a kennel or punish him – it was to put a 9mm bullet inside his head. You see, once a dog bites you, there’s no turning back from that. Once a dog decides that’s what he or she has to do and does it, whether they’re sorry or not, you have to make a decision.”

“My dad knew that since Barney tasted blood and established himself in the pack at my expense, that I could never be safe.”

“And when you establish yourself at my expense on Monday, the same could be said for our already perilous positions in Old School Wrestling. I can’t afford to look weak, Chip.”

“I just can’t.”

“So, I’ll do exactly as my pop did. I don’t have a choice.”

“I’ll put you down.”