“Welcome one and all to the Foley Funhouse!”
“Every child born in Arcadia one day wants to become a superhero. Whether it’s the antics of Superduperman or Beetleboy, children all go through the same phase; the hero phase.”
“For most, the hero phase passes, the child grows up and leaves it all behind.”
“But for those who don’t grow past the hero phase, a dangerous world awaits. I’ve brought my friend Axel The Sharkyman to tell you why.”
“There was once a young boy who wanted nothing more than to be a hero. All his life, he dreamed of saving people. He watched all the heroes growing up and thought that he could be just like them.”
“As an adult, that’s exactly what he did.”
“But things weren’t like the comics, and the plays.”
“People always expected him to be available and there. Even when he was feeling bad, or unwell, they selfishly expected his presence whenever they needed him.”
“Nothing else mattered.”
“It didn’t matter how he felt. It didn’t matter if he had a problem. He was theirs. He belonged to them.”
“And when he wasn’t there, or couldn’t make it in time – or when tragedy struck and he was no longer in the shadows to prevent it, the people he swore to protect out of the goodness of his heart, turned on him.”
“They slandered him.”
“They didn’t respect him or show gratitude for what he’d done. No-one did. They attacked him, threw things at him and were generally awful.”
“Until one day, the hero had enough of being there for everyone else. He finally snapped and decided to be there for himself. The moment that hero lived for himself and no longer lived for the people, he became the thing he dreaded most.”
“He became the villain.”
“What was left but to embrace that?”
“You’re the hero of Arcadia, Kaiju. I know it feels good – almost like an addiction. But there will come a time when the people of this fine world aren’t satisfied with your decisions, your perceived mistakes, and even your attempts at being helpful.”
“There will be a day when they turn on you.”
“And when they do, you’ll have to ask yourself the same question I once did; am I a hero or a villain? Why didn’t I grow out of the hero phase?”
“Do I fight for them, or do I fight for me?”
“When you do, you’ll realize that good or evil, nice or nasty, everyone faces their reckoning.”
“Arcadia is a difficult place, Kaiju. I know that all too well. I used to be a hero to children, but the moment Zeus cancelled my show, the people of Arcadia turned their backs on me.”
“I was nothing.”
“I’ve spent the rest of my life trying to recapture that feeling of warmth once again.”
“And I suppose that leads us to Foley’s Thought, children.”
“Heroism is associated with unnatural martyrdom, willing sacrifice and above all, choice. But when the world turns against you, you’ll eventually realize that life here is easier, if you simply grow out of the hero phase.”