Author: Teddy O'Toole

Sweet children, I have grave news. Some day, each and every one of you are going to die. But maybe, just maybe, you'll also live forever. Mr. Teddy, that doesn't make sense. It makes all the sense in the world, sweet children. Please understand,

Sweet children, sour children, can you hear my voice shaking? The ground beneath my feet quaking? And my poor jaw, breaking? Introducing

Memories are interesting things, aren't they sweet children? Each one contains within it a power of some kind or other. Some memories make us long for the days they existed in. Others remind us of the hard times we endured. There are memories we

A great adventurer always gets his prize. And a great adventurer always brings his trail mix! INTRODUCING

Not all candy is the same. Surely my sweet children understand that as well as anyone. All of my competition in the markets know it as well. They design their packaging to look like mine. They copy my recipes so their products taste

My SWEET children, have you tried my delicious candy necklaces? You can CHEW right through them. But be careful children, not to wear my candy necklaces and look in the mirror too long. Don't concern yourself with your clothes or figure. Fear

Have you heard, sweet children? THEY want you to stop eating candy. THEY want you to LIVE as LONG as you can. EVEN if that means you cannot enjoy sweets. EVEN if that means all you can eat are vegetables. They are SOCIOPATHS in WHITE

Chewing gum is a real hike, is it not my sweet children? Just chomping, over and over, never giving up, never surrendering. Even when your jaw is tired!  Especially when your jaw is tired! After all, it's about persevering, enduring, and

My sweet children! My sour children! Hear me well, for I have dreams to sell! Sweet dreams! Sour dreams! And every DREAM in between! DREAMS so delicious your TASTEBUDS will SCREAM. My tasty, brand new CANDY DREAMS is all the RAGE