“So, in BDSM there’s a certain kind of activity we call flagellation.” “I prefer to call it whipping, but that’s because I can’t spell flagellation through text.” “Now, when it …

“Every school had those kids with an absolute hard on for their teacher, right?” “And the teacher knew it too! She’d see these kids who stayed behind after class to …

“You ever have a train ran on you?” “Might seem weird to think about, right? The person getting railed by cock after fat cock has to be a bitch for …

“Do you know what a simp is?” “A simp is the kind of guy who sits at their computer all day every day watching as a girl who barely knows …

“You’re a sinner!” “God doesn’t love you!” “You’re going to hell, faggot!” “I heard that shit every day for about eight years.” “The religious kids in town were as fucked …

“School bullies are some assholes, right?” “See, when I was a kid, my mom didn’t have a lot of cash for a long while. We were out there scrounging pennies, …

“I once knew this fugly old bitch who had a little obsession in her life.” “And it’s name?” “The past.” “Memories of days long ago when she was happy, the …

“God, I just fucking love Jackass.” “No, seriously, hear me out.” “Jackass is a show… or movie? Series? About a bunch of dudes getting together and doing the wildest, craziest, …

“Now, you gotta ask, what makes a man take Viagra?” “They do it because they need to. Without a little Viagra in the bloodstream they can’t get it up.” “Without …

“Let me tell you about a little something called gooning.” “It’s like edging but usually done alone in front of a computer.” “See, people who goon? They take pleasure not …